Broken Fates
by Kanna37
Summary: How much damage can a pure soul take before it fractures into pieces? Sometimes, when you break something, it can't be fixed - at least, not entirely. Very angsty fic, not a children's story. 2nd Best O/Character for Yasha Second Quarter 2010 IYFG
1. Prologue

**Prologue: What the Fates Have in Store....**

The journey back from the final battle with Naraku was awkward, and made mostly in silence. To Kagome, it spelt out her fate in bold letters - that, and the fact that Kikyou traveled with them. Inuyasha could barely look at her, and Kikyou did with a steady gaze that smacked of pity, and at the same time, triumph.

Inhaling deeply, she fought to keep herself together. She felt as though she was under a death sentence and was being escorted to the gallows. With an internal dark, haunted laugh, she wondered what the excuse was going to be; what reason would he give to send her back down the well forever?

Because she could tell, that's what was in store for her. She felt bitterness well up inside her... why had the kami even sent her here?

She was jerked from her thoughts as they reached Kaede's village, and Inuyasha began to fall back at a glance from Kikyou, moving to walk with Kagome.

"I need to talk to you, Kagome. Can we - go somewhere, _alone_?" He stressed the word as Sango shot him a dark, suspicious glance.

Kagome had to swallow - hard, to even get her voice to work, but finally she said, "Yeah... let's just get this over with so you can get on with your life."

He glanced at her, eyes wide. _She knows... dammit, this is so hard! How am I supposed to deal with this?_ Nodding, he gestured to the path they always took to the well, guilt evident in his gaze.

Kagome looked around once more, impressing her friends into her memory: she knew for sure in that moment, that she would never see any of them again.

_Yeah, why wouldn't he kick me back through the well now? I'm not needed anymore - the job of shard detector is over. Now he's got Kikyou and he's about to have the completed and purified jewel. There's no more use for me._

Finally, pain beginning to short circuit her mind, she turned and followed the hanyou into the trees, leaving the village she'd thought of as home for almost three years for the very last time.

It hurt so much she could barely breathe.

And the worst, she knew, was still to come.

---sSs---

Inuyasha couldn't bring himself to look at her as he escorted her to the well for the last time. It made it worse, in his eyes, that she knew what he was doing. He hated this - it hurt, but Kikyou, and Kaede were right. He loved Kikyou, because she was the one he was supposed to be with.

Kagome had been sent back here to right the wrong done to his and Kikyou's souls - and make sure that the incarnation of himself that was actually _meant _for _her_ managed to be born, because if she'd never gotten him off that tree, his soul would have remained trapped for eternity - thus breaking the kami-ordained circle of life and death between he and the soul that both Kikyou and Kagome carried.

Now that all that had been accomplished, Kagome had to go back - it was time for his next incarnation to find her.

But explaining this to Kagome wasn't going to be easy.

As they arrived at the well, Kagome put up a hand, and said, "You know what, Inuyasha, you don't have to justify your choice to me - in fact, I don't think I even want to know what lame excuse you were going to find. I'll just make it easy and go."

Inuyasha growled at her, annoyed. "No. You need to listen, wench. Sit down with me and hear what I have to say."

She looked at him for the briefest of moments, and then just seemed to crumble in on herself, and his eyes closed with pain as she slumped to the ground, her will to fight all gone.

He sat next to her and folded his hands in his haori, gaze locked on the horizon. Drawing a deep breath, he said, "This whole mess - everything that happened, had to happen, you know. Don't ever doubt that. You needed to be here - for certain things to come to pass. But now, they have, and you have someone waiting for you in your time. But only because you came here - if you hadn't, he wouldn't be waiting."

She stared at him. "What the _hell_ are you talking about, Inuyasha?"

He flinched, that word slipping from her told him just how upset she was, because Kagome wasn't one much for profanity.

"Our souls, Kagome. That's what I'm talking about. Our souls are bound together - each time one of us is born, the other is as well, and we find each other in every lifetime - we're meant to be together. Or at least, our souls are."

He sighed then, the sound mournful.

"That's the point here. Why do you think your soul is so much larger than when Kikyou had it? Because you've grown. The thing is, I'm the incarnation meant for the Kikyou incarnation of your soul... the one meant for you is in your era already - and he's waiting. My soul, the way it is right now is no match for yours - it hasn't grown enough in me to be ready for you. But his has. That's why you need to go back."

Kagome stood, pushing away from him. "Is that what Kikyou told you?"

He leaped to his feet as well. "Her... and Kaede. She agreed - because it's the truth. And what's more, Kagome, you know it, deep down. You have to go back - but I'll be waiting for you when you get there, you know. Nothing could break that, because that's the way it's meant to be."

Kagome laughed, bitter anger spilling through a sound that wasn't in any way meant to portray humor. "Give me a break, Inuyasha. Kaede, huh? And why _wouldn't_ she agree with her own sister? You didn't have to feed me this _bullshit _- I'm not stupid. I told you I'd go and that you didn't have to justify crap to me."

She turned, anger turning to anguish in her heart.

"At least now I won't ever have to hear how I'm just the reincarnation, a copy, inferior at that, could never be good enough... I guess there's the silver lining." She looked at a rather shocked Inuyasha. "You could'a just pushed me down the damn well like before, you know. At least_ that _would have been honest."

He reached out and grabbed her, pulling her into a hug, holding her tightly to him for a few last seconds, inhaling her scent and committing it to memory. Then, reluctantly, he pushed away from her. Holding out his hand, he waited while she dropped the jewel into it, then said, "Go, Kagome. I'll be waiting for you, mate of my soul."

She watched him step back clutching the jewel, and laughed, bitterness finally overflowing its place in her heart, before climbing onto the rim of the well. "Don't get your hopes up, Inuyasha. My fate is my own, and you made your choice. I will never share a destiny with you now. Have a happy life."

And before he could say anything, hurt clear in both their eyes, she jumped...

He never saw her in that life again.

---sSs---

A/N: This story will probably move slowly along, I don't intend to push myself on this one. It's mostly an exploration into how much damage a soul can take before finally fracturing, and I want to remain true to that. This is not an action adventure, but a descent into madness - the madness that comes with too much loss piled onto an overly emotional soul, one who gives and gives... until there's just nothing left to give but pain. And then, we'll follow on the journey as she tries to heal. Hopefully, she can.

Amber


	2. Shattered Soul

**Chapter 1: Shattered Soul**

Kagome landed in the well on her side, and didn't have the will left to even move. She could barely breathe, the pain in her heart, in her soul, just overwhelming, and she slumped down into the dirt at the bottom of the well, not caring if she ever moved from that spot - the darkness there aptly portrayed that within her soul.

As she sat there, she suddenly began to feel something coming towards her, and lifting her head, she saw a bright soul orb flash into place before her, and with hatred in her heart, and knowing exactly what it was, she threw a barrier around it... keeping it trapped, and unable to rejoin her. She refused to have any part of anything that had been a part of Kikyou.

She refused... with everything inside her. She'd already long become accustomed to the pain that came from that empty part inside her, so keeping the status quo gave her no qualms.

The orb quivered, managing to look forlorn, and Kagome laughed at it, a cold sound in that dank place.

"I don't need you, and I don't want you. You are Kikyou, and I am... someone else. I'm not your reincarnation. I'm just me, whoever that is. You can stay in here and rot for all I care - or be smart and go find someone else to take over and turn into another little _copy_ of you."

She shivered, body quickly becoming cold as the fierce emotional agony that writhed through her sent her into shock. Tears fell, and time passed as her mind floated in and out; she was completely unaware of the passage of days - until suddenly, light invaded the darkness, and she whimpered, unable to even speak.

"Mama! She's down there, I can see her. Yasha was right!" Sota was horrified as he looked down into the well and saw his sister, lying lifelessly near a small glowing orb.

"Oh, kami, how are we going to get her out of there?" Aiko was sick with worry, knowing her daughter was down there and not knowing how long she had been.

"Keh. I'll get her out, if everyone'll move outta my way, so I can get into the well."

Aiko smiled at him, and pulled Sota and gramps back away from the opening. "Thank you, Yasha."

He grinned over at her as he hopped over the top of the well. "Keh. Don't hafta thank me - she's my other half, after all, of course I want to save her."

He disappeared into the darkness for a moment, and then jumped back out, tenderly cradling a now unconscious young woman, carrying a soul orb, and wearing a scowl.

He strode out of the well house, angrier than he could ever remember being... well, at least in this life, anyway. He remembered being quite angry in his last life... funny enough, quite a few times at the very woman he was holding in his arms.

_Keh! She still knows how to pull stupid shit and piss me off - what the fuck was she _thinking_ sitting in that damn well for however many days it's been? And this soul orb - I know what it is but why the hell did she put a barrier around it?_

Aiko, Sota, and gramps followed behind the silver-haired young male that looked so much like Inuyasha - and yet, didn't. Same hair, same gold eyes, and even the same ears... but the features were a bit different, and his personality was, too. This young man, who'd introduced himself as Yasha, was much more open than Inuyasha had ever been.

She had been astounded when, five days ago, this young hanyou had shown up at her door - of course, he'd been behind a concealing spell that she'd since learned that all youkai and hanyou alive today used to avoid being seen. As soon as he'd introduced himself as Inuyasha's reincarnation, however, he'd dropped the spell, and everyone had been astonished... and a bit saddened.

They knew full well that if Inuyasha's reincarnation was showing up, they'd never see the hanyou again - he was dead, and they'd become anxious over Kagome's fate. They were properly relieved when they found that she was safe, and would be returning sometime that week through the well for the last time.

The group of people moved into the house, then up the stairs as the hanyou proved his past association with the house, walking right into Kagome's room and depositing her on her bed. Once that was done, he moved over to her desk and plopped the soul orb on top of it. A certain scent caught his nose, and he realized abruptly that it was Inuyasha's fading scent, and with a frown, stared out the window for a moment. It was a bit disconcerting to catch the scent you had carried in another lifetime - five hundred years past.

Shaking himself, he looked over at Aiko, watching as she looked her daughter over, trying to make sure that she didn't have any injuries they hadn't noticed.

After a couple of minutes, the older woman stood up, and he quirked a questioning brow at her.

"She doesn't have any injuries, really, besides a few scratches and half-healed bruises. I think she's just suffering from exposure and hunger and dehydration." She frowned. "I'm going to go downstairs and bring up some electrolyte drinks - they'll work better than water, at least at first."

Yasha glared at the figure on the bed. "Baka wench. I swear... she needs her ass kicked over this." He flashed a quick glance at Aiko. "Pardon the language, Aiko-san, but she just makes me so mad sometimes."

She smiled at him, then looked at the odd glowing orb sitting on her daughter's desk with curiosity. "Tell me, Yasha, what is that?"

He looked at the desk, and then scowled again at Kagome's form laid out on the bed. "That's the part of her soul that used to be Kikyou. I don't know why she put a barrier around it - it's supposed to be inside her, making her soul whole again, not sitting out here looking dejected. The wench has some explaining to do when she wakes, that's for sure."

---sSs---

Kagome groaned as she tried to open her eyes and the light hit her. It hurt, and at first, she didn't know why she felt so badly - but then, the memories began to trickle in, and her eyes went flat, dull. She wished that she was still at the bottom of the well, surrounded by the comforting darkness, and felt a distant bit of anger run through her for a moment as she wondered who'd found her and brought her out.

_Why couldn't they just leave me the hell alone? I didn't ask to be 'saved'... _

She closed her eyes again as she heard her door open, and was caught off-guard has she was enveloped in a youkai aura. It didn't matter to her though, funny enough, she wasn't even curious - she just didn't care at all. It felt like her ability to care about anything had disappeared.

"Oi, wench, quit fakin' it, I can tell you're awake. You never could fool me with that 'fake sleep' thing, you know."

Kagome's eyes popped open in shock. She knew that voice - but the aura was all wrong... she didn't recognize it, but how could that be? He had made his choice, and now he was dead. Weakly turning her head, her eyes fixed on legs, and moved up a torso, noting the silver hair almost disbelievingly, and then finally, on to his face, gold eyes piercing her.

_Who is this? He isn't Inuyasha..._

She tried to speak, but her voice was weak from misuse, and her throat dry, so all that came out was a dry croak.

"Who the hell are you?" She winced at the sound of it... _pathetic_, she sneered to herself. _ You always have been, and you obviously always will be_. _No wonder you were never as good as Kikyou - you'd never have been able to measure up to her in a million years._

Yasha stared down at her, frowning. Something was _very _wrong - her aura was seriously disturbed, it didn't feel at all the way his memories of Inuyasha's life told him it should, nor did it feel the same as all the times he'd watched her, hiding his aura from her but unable to stay completely away, waiting for the day her journey in the past was over and he could finally claim her for himself.

"Come on, Kagome, weren't you listening when Inuyasha told you I'd be here waiting for you? I know you were mad, but you can't have forgotten already."

Kagome turned her face away from him and closed her eyes in rejection. That was a road she refused to travel down again. She had no intentions of being a part of anything that had any ties to the past three years of her life that she'd wasted on Inuyasha... no, she didn't intend to waste anything on any man again.

Ever.

"Why the hell are you here?"

"What the fuck do you mean, why am I here? I _know_ he told you about our souls, wench, so don't pretend you forgot. I'm here because I'm supposed to be here - you're my other half, and it's about damn time you got away from that previous incarnation of me, and got back _here_ where you fucking belong." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair as she kept her head turned.

"Look, I waited long enough for you to finish that shit in the past, and even though I know it was important and had to be done, I _hated_ knowing you were going back there and dealing with all that crap, and that I wasn't there to protect you. So now it's done, and you're here - where you_ belong._ With me, not with him. Man, I_ hated _watching you with him... it really fucking sucked."

"Go away. You don't even know me, and I don't buy this 'souls being bonded' stuff. It's a load of crap. And how the hell do you look so much like him - and yet not? Just who _are_ you, really?"

He glared at her, not liking the way this conversation was going. "The name's Yasha, Taisho Yasha. I guess the reason I look like him, sorta, is because I'm his and Kikyou's descendant - besides being his reincarnation, although that really doesn't have anything to do with it, I suppose. Plus the fact that I'm three-quarters youkai instead of just half."

She flinched, the reference to Inuyasha and Kikyou as the couple they had always been, and her futility in even caring for him, raking across her raw heart with talons of steel, leaving poison behind, and she had to force the bitter tears away - she'd not show her pain to his damn descendant - kami knew, he'd probably laugh at her, just as Kikyou had done when Inuyasha had finally chosen her.

"Good. Then you can take that damn soul orb - it belongs to your family. Frankly, I don't care what you do with it, but get it out of here and away from me... I don't want it anywhere around me. And while you're at it, you can leave as well. There's nothing for you here." She struggled to turn onto her side, weak as she was, she was determined to turn her back to him. Maybe then he'd get the message.

He didn't. Instead, he growled angrily at her, then sat down at the end of her bed, folding his arms across his chest. "You'd better listen to me, wench. I ain't playing your games. That soul orb belongs to you, and you need to shut the hell up and take it back. It's _your _soul - or at least a part of it, and it's about damn time you got it back. And I ain't goin' nowhere 'til you calm down and stop acting all crazy."

At that, she turned her head and glared at him with so much anger he almost jumped back. With a low, almost hate-filled voice, she hissed, "_Get out_! I don't want you here, or that bitch's soul. I'm done with all that - and _I AM NOT KIKYOU! _Get this through your head, Taisho," she spat, "My soul isn't tied to anybody but me, and my destiny is my own. I told that bastard then that he'd made his choice and that was that, and I meant every word of it. If I could find a way to wipe these memories from my mind, I would, _and count myself grateful for it!"_

She was breathing hard, panting, anger and pain twisting inside her like a tornado, and she was fast becoming hysterical. Yasha was horrified - this wasn't the Kagome that his memories of Inuyasha's life told him she should be, wasn't the woman he _knew_ she was.

"What the hell, wench? What's wrong with you?!"

Her face twisted then, and suddenly, it was like a freezer in the room, as every bit of heat and emotion was sucked from it. He watched incredulously as the expression washed away from her face, and she closed her eyes again, a totally indifferent look settling there, frozen and cold... hard.

"Listen and listen well. Don't waste your time hanging around here, because I meant what I said - there's nothing for you here, and there never will be. I have no intentions of ever trusting another male anywhere near my heart again, Taisho, so go chase yourself another woman... 'cause it will never be me. Was that clear enough?"

As he stared at her in shock, she turned her head and refused to look at him again.

"Take that piece of soul and find it some other poor sap to feed off of... because that's something else I have no use for. I no longer have anything to do with that ghoul, and I certainly don't want something that was tainted by all her malice towards me. She hated me when I was around her, she tried many times to kill me, and she gloated when he chose her - I don't want that nightmare anywhere near me. I don't need it."

Aiko had walked into the room as she was speaking, and hand over her mouth, she stared at her daughter. She'd never, ever heard Kagome say anything like that about anyone - and suddenly, she began to worry that the things the kami had asked of her had been too much... she was acting like the heart of who she was had been broken... shattered.

Looking up, she motioned silently for Yasha to follow her out of the room, and setting the drinks aside, she followed him out, pulling the door to behind her.

"What was all that about, Yasha?" she whispered, not wanting her daughter to hear.

He still looked shell-shocked - shell-shocked and _hurt_. He couldn't believe the things that had poured out of her... and the things she'd said, the denial of their bond had caused a backlash of pain that he'd been completely unprepared for. Sure, his memories of Inuyasha, and the last time he'd seen her were there in his mind, and he remembered what she'd said, but he'd always thought, and so had his previous incarnation, that it was just hurt talking, and that she'd be okay as soon as _he_ showed up, and she realized the truth of what Inuyasha had tried to tell her.

Obviously, they had been totally wrong.

"I... I don't know. I've never seen her like that - it was like she hated Inuyasha, and Kikyou, and me as well. She's refusing to take the rest of her soul back, Aiko-san - and she needs that. If she goes for too long without it, she'll go insane. But she won't even listen." His shoulders slumped as the first shock began to fade, and the hurt of her rejection began to kick in. He looked so pained Aiko felt sadness just looking at him.

"I think, in fact, that it's already started. Her mind and heart are degenerating because she's been so long without all of her soul, and now she doesn't remember who she is. If we don't get that part of her soul back into her, we might completely lose her, and I can't let that happen!"

Aiko pulled the anguished young man into a hug, patting him on the back soothingly. He was hurting tremendously, she could feel the pain in his aura, and it created a reciprocal ache within her. She sighed. She had a suspicion that this was going to be a long road.

Pulling back a bit, she looked down at the young man that the fates had chosen for her daughter, and said, "I will try to talk to her - it may be that she just needs a little time to come to terms with what has happened. It can't have been easy to go from that world to this and lose all her friends there in one moment, you know. Anyone is bound to be angry and hurt over such a thing."

Yasha sighed, then nodding, pulled away. "Yeah, you're right. I should have thought of that myself - it's just so _hard_. I've known who she was since I was old enough to know who_ I _was, and watching all these years - especially since she went down the well the first time, it's just difficult. Watching the woman I knew was supposed to be mine having feelings for who I used to be took a lot out of me, and I wasn't paying attention to the fact that she'd be so hurt."

She smiled at him, holding out a hand she pulled him down the stairs behind her. "Maybe you should speak to your uncle - the one you said was Inuyasha's brother. Maybe he can give you some advice on how to handle things, after all, someone who has lived for so long..." she trailed off, hoping he'd take the bait.

He nodded. "Yeah. Sesshoumaru has a lot of experience... and I know that if things get worse with her, he can probably help heal some of the damage with Tensaiga, but only if we can get her to accept the soul back."

"Then go, speak to him. Call me in the morning and I will let you know how the talk with my daughter went."

Reluctantly, he nodded, and moved to the door. Slipping his shoes back on, he smiled slightly for a minute. "You know, that's the one thing I think I miss about my life as Inuyasha - not having to wear shoes."

Aiko laughed softly. "Yes... he certainly did hate wearing shoes of any kind."

"Yeah," he said, shaking his head ruefully. "I can't really blame him. I'm not overly fond of them myself." He looked up at her. "I'll talk to my Uncle, and call you first thing. Good evening, Aiko-san."

"Good evening, Yasha. Don't lose hope."

She smiled again, encouragingly.

"Things _will _work out the way they are supposed to."


	3. Degeneration

**Chapter 2: Degeneration**

Aiko watched as Yasha moved across the courtyard and down the steps into the main shrine courtyard, stopping in passing and reaching a hand out to carress the damaged bark of the Goshinboku, before continuing on and heading down the stairs. Once he was out of sight, she sighed, then stepped back into the house and slid the door shut.

What a difficult fate had been handed to her daughter... and by extension, the young man who had just left. She didn't envy either one a bit.

Still, she would do what she could to help, and it was time for her daughter to take the first tentative steps in her new life - a life without the hanyou from the past. A life that was supposed to include the hanyou that was here, now.

Heading back up the stairs after a quick glance into the kitchen to make sure that dinner was still coming along well, she drew in a deep breath, then pushed open the door to her daughter's room and walked in.

"Kagome?" she asked softly, moving to stand beside the bed, she grabbed the drinks she'd set down earlier. "Are you thirsty, dear?"

Kagome slowly turned her head and opened her eyes, glancing sullenly at her mother, before she dropped her gaze and nodded slightly.

"Y-yes, please," she whispered.

"Here, dear, let me help you sit up." She reached around her daughter's back with her arm, and lifted, pulling her into a more upright position, then placed the pillows behind her to support her. Once that was done, she twisted open the cap on the dink, and handed it to her daughter.

She watched silently as Kagome drank. It was difficult for her to see her daughter this way, and even harder to feel it in her aura - there was so _much_ turmoil and darkness swirling inside her right now.

She already knew what most of the problem was, being that Inuyasha's reincarnation was running around Tokyo, and Kagome was now home permanently, it was obvious that Inuyasha had chosen the other woman - the one Kagome was supposedly reincarnated from.

But she honestly hadn't expected something like what she was now seeing from her daughter - this went beyond his choice of another, after all, Kagome had been pretty sure already that such was her fate. So what could be causing it?

Kagome finally finished with the first bottle, and setting it aside, she reached for the next one.

"Kagome, dear... what was all that about earlier?"

She stiffened as her mother asked about something she really didn't want to discuss - now or ever. But she knew she'd never get out of it, so reluctantly, she asked, "What?"

"I heard you yelling at Yasha earlier, Kagome. Now answer me, dear. I never taught you to be so rude to a guest in this house."

"I'm sorry, mama, but if he's here, then he's your guest, and I don't want him near me." She turned her face away and stared at the spot where her bed met the wall.

"What has Yasha ever done to you for you to treat him that way? From the impression I had gotten from him, you've never met him before." Aiko stared hard at her daughter, surprised... she wasn't even willing to look at her own mother, and for Kagome, that was unheard of - she'd always been an open book, never fearing to show the world what was in her heart.

"He's spouting the same load of crap that Inuyasha was - how our souls are bound by the kami and he's my other half, like Kikyou was Inuyasha's. I don't buy it," she hissed, "and even if it's true, I want no part of anything to do with Inuyasha, Kikyou, or the past. It, and he, are dead to me."

Aiko sat back in shock at her words - things were worse than she'd thought for Kagome to be acting like this - so _hateful. _

"Daughter, you will listen to me. It is time to snap out of it. What has you so angry? The fact that he chose the other one? But you knew he would," she said, at Kagome's anguished sound, "so why do you act this way now? And to dishonor the kami the way you have, by denying their will... you are a daughter of this shrine, Kagome, and you will act like it."

At that, Kagome began to laugh. "I think the kami have gotten everything they could take from me, mother. There isn't anything left that they'd want." She turned her face up to stare at her mother, a mad light in her eye. "Would you like to see what the kami have left me? I can show you..." she trailed off, then laughed again, a dark, haunted sound.

Aiko stood and backed away a bit as her daughter began to glow, and a huge soul began to move out from within her... it took forever, it was so large. But as Aiko watched in awe - even as a miko herself, she'd never seen anything like this - she could see that its light was dim, swirling with darkness, it was fractured and twisted in pain.

"Kagome! Stop that this instant! Pull it back now, daughter." Aiko didn't want her to lose her already tenuous hold on her soul, or her sanity.

"But I'm showing you what the kami have left me with, mother. Now do you see? I don't even know who I am anymore." She slowly allowed the drifting portions of soul to sink back within her body.

"You are Kagome, and nobody else."

At that, her dark giggles and laughs stopped, and she looked out the window suddenly, staring sadly into the distance, and Aiko could see, even in profile, that her daughter's mind was centuries away at that moment.

"But who _is_ Kagome?" she whispered, a slight frown of confusion crossing her face. "Do you know?"

Aiko caught her hand over her mouth, holding in the frightened sound threatening to escape.

This wasn't Kagome.

Kagome was lost, somewhere inside her own soul.

---sSs---

Yasha walked aimlessly, still in shock and hurting terribly. How could things have gone so horribly wrong? It wasn't supposed to be this way - she was supposed to come home from the journey, take a little time to heal and readjust, during which time they would quietly get to know each other, and then go from there to the rest of their lives. Joyously.

It wasn't supposed to have turned out this way.

She was his, and yet, she was denying him, turning from him, and demanding that he leave and never come near her again. And she wouldn't take back that last part of her soul.

This whole thing was wrong on so many levels he didn't even know where to start.

How could something kami ordained go so wrong? Had they really used her up so much that she had nothing left in her heart to give? Or was it all because of Inuyasha... and Kikyou?

Shoulders slumping, he turned towards a park that lay nearby, needing the space and the quiet. He knew he needed to get home, he didn't want to worry his parents, but right now, he just couldn't face anyone. They were expecting happy news - not this.

Everyone in the family knew who he was, knew who he had once been, and knew who Kagome was - and what they were to each other. It had been passed on from Kikyou and Inuyasha from the earliest time - always, from eldest son to eldest son, that in this era, his reincarnation would be born of his family line, and would find his match in Kagome. They had known her name, where she would live, what she looked like... everything.

But they had not expected any of this.

When he had been born, his parents had known who he was immediately. Since the days of his preincarnation, all the family had been born with Kikyou's dark coloring - except he. He bore Inuyasha's coloring. He hadn't even been two years old, and he'd already been asking for 'Gome, and when would he be able to see her.

The answer had always been the same - after she had saved him. Then he would see her.

And now, he felt cheated.

He'd spent most of his life watching over her, secretly, always making sure she was safe, and he'd had time to fall in love with her. She hadn't had the same, however, and because of that, she'd answered the pull of her soul - but towards the wrong incarnation - and now, it looked like, all because of Inuyasha and Kikyou, and all the screw-ups they'd made, he would pay the price by losing his soul-mate.

He really wished he could go back in time and kick Inuyasha's ass.

Hard.

He glanced around at his surroundings, noting the early evening mist flowing across the ground and weaving amongst the trees, and shivered. It reminded him of_ her _soul... it left a fey feeling in the air, and his heart sank even lower at that thought.

Her soul... his soul, they were one and the same, and yet, her part of it was crumbling like a sandcastle on the beach at high tide.

He had to wonder if she could even be saved...

---sSs---

Dinner that night in the Higurashi home was subdued - Aiko had already spoken to her father-in-law about Kagome's state of mind, and her refusal to take back that part of her soul.

He was deeply concerned and adamant that before she even had a _chance_ at healing, she had to take back that part of her soul that was missing. Unfortunately, when she'd noticed that Yasha hadn't taken it away earlier, she'd gone ballistic - completely refusing to stay in her room if it wasn't removed from her sight.

The soul orb was trapped behind a barrier of Kagome's own making, and the only way to heal her was to get her to take it back. Aiko didn't think that was going to happen anytime soon, though... and at the rate she was deteriorating, they didn't have the time to try to convince her.

She was not concerned with the barrier around the orb itself, after all, she was a miko herself, though not of her daughter's caliber, she still was more than strong enough to break such a barrier. No, it was most definitely not that. The problem was that she feared that forcing her to take it back may just cause more harm. She wanted to be _sure_ that it wouldn't, or at least, as sure as they could be.

She would have to ask Yasha when he called if he could think of any way to make sure that taking in that piece of soul didn't do anymore damage than it already had just by being in the same room as Kagome.

She was worried, and she wouldn't even attempt to hide it - she'd never heard of anything like this, and she had no idea of how to handle it.

It was apparent to anyone who looked at her that she was going downhill, and fairly fast... her mental state was dangerous if not handled correctly - but what was correct with something like this? It wasn't like they could even take her to a psychologist or counselor about it - missing pieces of your soul wasn't a problem they were exactly equipped to handle.

So now what? Where did they go? She didn't have any idea.

Yasha was their only hope, because she really didn't think that this was something that time could heal.

---sSs---

Etsu looked over at her mate, worry in her eyes. Yasha should have been home by now, and he hadn't even called. Yasuo looked back at her steadily.

"Why are you worried, my mate? You know his destiny is at Kagome's side - and he is more than capable of defending himself against any dangers this world could send against him."

She nodded, some of her fear leaving. But still, some remained. She just couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

Etsu was strong in her own right. A full youkai, she had met Yasuo and fallen in love with him almost immediately - and that hadn't changed in all the years they'd been together. Her family had been somewhat upset that her mate was only hanyou, but had tolerated it, as he claimed kinship with Sesshoumaru and the Western House.

Much could be overlooked for such a thing.

Yasuo watched his mate, a smile crossing his face as he took in her beautiful face. So many years they'd been together, and so many more to come. Silky raven hair falling around her face, with beautiful green eyes, she was his calm and his comfort, and he could always tell when something was wrong with her - her eyes were very expressive.

And something was definitely wrong. So he did what any good mate would and moved to take her in his arms, determined to comfort her.

"What is it you fear, love?"

She turned worried eyes up to his and said, "I don't know - but something isn't right. And I fear what this could mean. All I can tell is that there is something wrong with our son."

"Do you want me to go find him?"

Nodding, she said, "Yes, please, love."

Before he could do more than nod, however, the door into the genkan slid open, and they could hear him come in and slide his shoes off.

At first pleased that he was safe, they quickly became even more worried at the feel of his aura. It was roiling with sadness and fear, and a great deal of hurt and worry.

That was definitely not like Yasha.

Normally, he was an ebullient, brilliant person, bold, like a bolt of fire across the sky - but now he felt tired, his fire dimmed. With something close to apprehension, Etsu and Yasuo waited for their son to enter the room.

Both of their eyes widened in concern as he came in, footsteps slow and sad. Neither one had ever seen him like this, so... subdued.

Etsu stepped forward, reaching out a hand to her son. "Yasha, dear, what - what's wrong?"

He lifted his face, tiredly, he said, "She's back. It's over and the well is closed."

Yasuo glanced at his wife, then looked back at his son, a frown marring his face. "But isn't that a good thing, son?"

Yasha chuckled, but it was dark, not his usual happy sound.

"It should have been," he sighed as he reached the couch and plopped down, slumping in his seat immediately. "But it's not."

His parents looked at each other, confused and concerned, and then moved to sit with him. Etsu sat next to him and put her hand on his back for comfort as she asked, "Well, why not? She wasn't hurt or anything was she? She shouldn't have been - according to Inuyasha, she wasn't suffering from more than a few scrapes and bruises when she jumped through the well the last time, right dear?"

Yasuo nodded. "That's right. According to him, she was angry and upset when she jumped, but wasn't injured or anything."

At that, Yasha stiffened, his own anger surfacing. "Yeah, well that bastard was being stupid, then. First off, she was so angry and upset that she didn't come out of the well when she got back... when we found her this afternoon, she'd been down there kami only knows how long - she was unconscious - dehydrated and weak from exposure and lack of food. And that's just the beginning!"

He stood then, shaking off his mother's arm, as Yasuo and Etsu sent each other apprehensive looks.

"When I jumped down to haul her out of there, there was a soul orb sitting there near her... and we all know what it was, now don't we? But Kagome knew what it was, too, and she put a _barrier _around it - she refuses to take it back. She wants nothing to do with anything that's a part of Kikyou, or Inuyasha... including me."

Etsu's eyes widened. "What? Honey, are you sure? Maybe she just needs a few days."

He shot a look at her, all his frustration, anger, pain and fear showing then, in his eyes. "No, I'm sure, mother. She flat out told me to get out and take the soul orb with me, that she wanted nothing to do with any male ever again, and especially not with anything or anyone that had any connection to Inuyasha or Kikyou - she told me that there was nothing there for me, and never would be."

He lifted his head then, from where it had sunk onto his arm as he leaned against the wall, and stared out the window, not noticing the looks his parents were sending each other.

"Her soul is shattered, and her heart darkened... and I don't know if she can be saved," he finished, whispering, as the agony in his heart overwhelmed him, and he lost the ability to speak aloud around the lump in his throat.

"She isn't Kagome anymore - I don't know who she is. And I don't know how to help her."


	4. Schism

**Chapter 3: Schism**

Kagome's eyes slowly opened, and blinking, she looked around at her room. It was early, yet, the morning light streaming brightly into the room through the curtains, and she felt cheated. _Why is the sun shining so brightly... like I have a future, something to look forward to?_

Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes as the future loomed over her suddenly like a hated phantom... what joy waited for her? The kami and fate had already taken everything she cared for from her - her heart, her friends, her little Shippo, and even her identity.

Sure she had her family here - but she couldn't even relate to them anymore. Her eyes closed on a silent sigh as she wondered, again, who she really was. Was she just a poor aftershadow of the brilliance that had been Kikyou? Was there anything that was_ just _Kagome, not a poor copy of the past?

She didn't know...

All the times that Inuyasha had taunted her about her pitiful resemblance to his dead lover, all the times Kikyou had spoken spitefully of her status as a hated copy, a pale outline of _her_ ran through Kagome's mind, and a choked sob broke from her as pain crystallized inside her, leaving her feeling as though she'd been shredded by Inuyasha's Adamant Barrage.

At that thought, another sob broke free from her tortured throat. _I wish he had just targeted me with it... at least then there'd be no more pain. I'm so _tired _of hurting..._

Wearily, she opened her eyes again. She was still so tired. Her body just couldn't seem to break free from its exhaustion - which was odd on the surface, since it was really her heart and soul that was tired. Her body was fine, in and of itself.

_My body... is it really mine? I wonder... is it just a new suit of clothes for _her _soul? It's all so confusing. I feel like there's two different sides of me, one side just hurts, it doesn't stop, constant pain - and the other side hates... it burns with so much anger. Which side is me... or is any of that me?_

With a sigh, she drug herself out of bed, determined to head to the shower. She felt the strong need to feel hot water flowing across her body - the need to scrub her skin, to feel _clean _again. A part of herself cringed everytime that anger and hatred roiling inside her came to the surface... it burned, like acid, and made the other part of her feel dirty.

Shuffling across the floor, she grabbed the first outfit that came to hand from her closet, and, trying to ignore the smell of food that was making her feel sick, she softly opened her door, hoping to sneak past any family members that might be hovering. She didn't want to see anyone.

Seeing no one, she stumbled into the bathroom and closed and locked the door. Stripping slowly, she turned on the water, heating it 'til it was at its hottest, then stepped into the hot water. It hurt, burned, but she barely noticed as she grabbed the soap and the scrubby and began raking it across her skin, almost rubbing her skin right off.

After awhile, she stopped, a tired sigh pulled from her.

After all that, she still didn't feel clean, and she was beginning to wonder if she ever would again. She almost wanted out of her skin, she felt so tainted. Tears began to run, mingling with the water until the scent of the hot water was overpowered by the smell of salt.

Wonderingly, she put a hand to her face and touched the tears. She tried to stop crying, but the tears just wouldn't stop coming, and she finally gave up, and turning the water off after she finished rinsing her hair, she ignored the tears, and climbed from the shower.

Absently pulling on her clothes, she flinched when someone knocked on the door. "Y-yes?" she managed to choke out.

"Kagome, dear? Are you about done in there? Hojo called a little while ago and wanted to stop by. It might do you good to see a friend." Her mother's voice sounded calm, and she almost wanted to laugh.

_How easy for her to sound so calm... and why would I want to see Hojo - or anyone else, for that matter? I wish I could find a way to never see anyone again. It would be so much easier to just go away somewhere and never have to deal with anyone - ever._

"I really don't want company, mother." She opened the door, not caring that tears were still falling from her eyes, not caring who saw her like this. She couldn't stop the tears, so she didn't waste time trying. They'd stop when they were ready, she figured.

Aiko paled a bit as she saw her daughter's ravaged face and the skin on her arms. She looked like she'd been burned. Reaching out a shocked hand, she touched her skin, and raised wide eyes to meet Kagome's gaze. Her skin was _burning._ It had to hurt, but Kagome didn't appear to be aware of it.

"What did you do, Kagome? Why is your skin so red, and hot?"

"I just took a hot shower, that's all." She shrugged indifferently. "Really, mother, when Hojo comes just tell him I'm not feeling well. I don't want to see anyone." With that, she walked into her room and shut the door.

She stared after her daughter, unable to think past the fear she felt. Her daughter's sanity was in question at this point... and she had the feeling that the next few days would be very telling. With a deep sigh, she stuffed all her worries back into her mind, and walked to Kagome's door.

Opening it, she looked in. "I'm sorry, Kagome, but I'm not going to cover for you. You have to continue with your life - you can't hide forever. He's your friend, and your company. Now come downstairs and eat some breakfast."

Kagome's face paled at the thought of food. "I don't feel like eating, and I don't want to see anyone, why can't you understand that? Kami, I just got done with all that crap in the past, and now you're already badgering me?"

Aiko drew herself up. "Kagome Higurashi, you will not argue with me. Now come downstairs." She turned and walked down the stairs, heading for the kitchen.

Kagome flushed with anger, and her tears stopped. "Fine. I'll come downstairs - I'll just get rid of Hojo quickly and then come back up here."

She wandered down the stairs, turning into the living room and seating herself indifferently on the couch. The anger that had flared in her in her room had faded, leaving an empty ache inside, and she folded into herself to hide from it. Something occurred to her then, and she looked around absently.

_I wonder where Sota is..._

A knock at the door then, and she stood, staring at the doorway for a moment, before lurching forward and sliding it open. Hojo stood on the steps, smiling brightly when he saw her, but that faded as he caught sight of her fully, and a concerned frown crossed his face.

"Higurashi... you don't look too well, maybe you should go back inside and sit down."

"I'm fine, Hojo. What did you want?" Her tone was dead, she had no real interest in his answer, and no intentions of asking him in.

He looked at her uncomfortably for a moment, as if unsure of this new Kagome. "Well, I wanted to see if you would like to come out with me this weekend? I haven't had much of a chance to spend time with my girl."

A surge of rage ran up through her at that, and she gritted her teeth, trying to keep it in. "_I am not your girl_, Hojo... I don't belong to anyone, and I don't want to. Go find some other woman to chase and_ leave me alone_," she cried out. "Just don't bother me anymore!"

Hojo stepped back in shock. "K-kagome? What's wrong?"

She opened her mouth, ready to start screaming, when her mother grabbed her arm and pulled her gently back. "I'm sorry, Hojo maybe this wasn't a good idea. I'll have to ask you not to come here again for a while... Kagome's suffering the loss of several friends, and it's affected her greatly."

Not waiting for an answer she slid the door shut, taking a violently shaking Kagome and pulling her towards the stairs. It took a few minutes, but she managed to get her back to her room and back into bed. She shook the whole time, and seemed to be unaware of her surroundings.

As soon as she was laid on her bed, she turned over and closed her eyes, and Aiko stepped away, just staring at her for a while.

_Shock. She's acting like she's in shock. I hope Yasha calls soon... maybe that uncle of his had some good advice._

_I don't know how long I can see her this way, and how long she can _be_ this way before it's too late..._

---sSs---

Yasha groaned as he woke, rolling over sleepily, his brow furrowed as the light hit his eyes, and he squinted for a moment at the brightness of the morning sun.

_Great, just what I feel like dealing with. Sunny skies and I wish it was grey and raining - at least then it would fit with how I feel inside._

Stretching out against his bed, he threw an arm over his eyes as he closed them and thought about the events of the day before.

After he'd spoken to his parents last night, his father had immediately called Sesshoumaru and spoken to him, wanting to get the benefit of his centuries of wisdom. The first thing he had suggested was a visit by his oldest daughter - a psychologist that had been in practice for years, and who could be trusted to keep the whole thing confidential.

Once she had been appraised, they could go from there. They also had to find a way to get that barrier dropped on the soul orb - it was far too dangerous for her to go much more than a few more days without it... especially in her condition. For that, they'd need a miko... the problem being that there just weren't any miko with true spiritual powers left besides Kagome herself - at least, none that any of them knew of.

He'd bring that up to Kagome's mother... maybe someone else in her family line had at least a token amount... it wouldn't need to be much to break the barrier, Kagome hadn't made it very strong, just strong enough to trap the orb.

A sigh feathered its way past his lips. _Why does this have to hurt so much? I'm beginning to hate my past self - that bastard hurt the mate of my heart and now I'm left trying to pick up the pieces that are all him and that wench Kikyou left behind. Feh... this is so damn confusing. I'm pissed at our preincarnations - and my ancestors. I'd love to get my hands on the both of them and slap some sense into them._

His memories sometimes pained him, because he could clearly remember all of the nasty things Inuyasha had done to Kagome - it was one of the things that had always worried him so about her trips into the past. He hated the pain he knew his past self was heaping on her - and what her past self was doing to her.

It was incredible how stupid they'd both been in the past. Had the two been so blind and idiotic that they hadn't realized that in hurting Kagome they'd only been hurting their own futures? It was bad enough for Inuyasha... but for Kikyou? She was supposed to have been this wise, compassionate priestess... and yet, both her and Inuyasha had tortured and tormented Kagome until her soul was torn in two.

He rolled over again, and punched his pillow, hard. Gritting his teeth, he fought back the pain in his chest.

_Damn... I can't even blame her for the way she's acting. What the hell were the kami thinking when they pushed her into this? Maybe it would have been better to have left Inuyasha pinned to that damn tree - at least that way, Kagome wouldn't have been torn into pieces. So I wouldn't have been born - at this point, it might have been a blessing not to exist anymore._

_Shit..._ he sighed again, pushing himself into a sitting position, he rubbed his eyes.

_This isn't getting me anywhere. No matter what would have been better, this is the way it is... so now I have to find a way to make things right. I can't give up - I love her, and so I will fight for her... because right now she can't fight for herself._

_It's up to me._

---sSs---

"Yasha!"

Ears perked, Yasha came out of his room heading for the kitchen and his mother's voice.

"Yeah, mom? What's up?" He raised a brow at her as she nodded her good morning to him.

"You need to call Mrs. Higurashi and tell her what your uncle said - see if she'll agree to let Mika see her. That's the first step."

"I know, mom. I'm gonna go call her now... hold breakfast will ya? I'm gonna need it." He grabbed a piece of toast on his way out. "I think I'm gonna need every bit of strength I have in the coming days," he sighed, staring down at the toast for a moment, before shaking his head and reaching for the phone.

When he hung up a few minutes later, he felt a little bit of hope, and walked back into the kitchen to see his father sitting with his mother, calmly eating breakfast. It was always strange to see his parents together - both of them so dark - and then he with his silver and gold coloring... he more resembled his uncle's side of the family, the silver Inu side.

They both looked up at him expectantly as he came in and took his seat.

"Well?" his mother asked, brow raised as she settled his plate before him and waited for him to speak.

"Keh. Well, she agreed immediately to have Mika see her... apparently things haven't gone well since yesterday, and she's really worried. The good news is that Mrs. Higurashi herself is a miko, although not as powerful as Kagome, she said she's more than strong enough to break the barrier - she just didn't want to do so until she could be sure it wouldn't make matters worse."

He sighed. "Personally, I think she needs to be unconscious before we do it... otherwise she'll fight us - hard. We don't need that."

His father looked thoughtful for a moment, then pulled out his cell phone. "I agree, and I think Sesshoumaru and Mika will, too. Let's see what we can arrange."

Yasha started to eat as he listened in to his father's side of the conversation. He knew he was lucky to have the support of his family - that was one thing he was ultimately glad that he didn't have to go through again... being alone and not having a family at all, like Inuyasha. He couldn't imagine having to go through life that way. Well, okay, yes he could... he just didn't want to.

He looked back at his father as he snapped his phone shut.

"As soon as you finish eating, call Mrs. Higurashi back and tell her that Mika can come this afternoon, around three or so. Sesshoumaru will probably be joining her - and I think, if it's possible, your mother and I should meet Mrs. Higurashi as well. I know it's a houseful, but... we can also keep her busy while Mika sees her - she'll worry less if she's not sitting there alone."

Yasha nodded. "Alright. But I'm going to be there, too.

Etsu smiled at her son. "We wouldn't dream of keeping you away, Yasha. She's your heart - and you can't keep a person separate from their heart."

---sSs---

Kagome sat at her desk, riffling through her old notebooks. Most of them she tossed, they were old school notes, and she didn't need them anymore.

_Ha! Like I needed them then, desperately! Spent so much time giving everything I had to that bastard, to help him and everyone else, that I nearly lost any chance of a life here, and all for what?_

Her face turned sad then... _I wonder... did Sango and Miroku miss me? And whatever happened to my little Shippo? _The thought of her tiny kit broke her heart all over again, and a tear ran it's way down her face.

She chuckled softly. _Anymore tears and they'll leave permanent grooves in my cheeks..._

She pushed her chair back a bit and reached into the last little cubby, pulling out a scruffy, rather torn up spiral notebook, and stared at it for a moment in surprise.

_I thought I'd lost this..._

Opening it up, the very first page caught her attention, and her eyes followed the lines - this was her book of poetry... things she'd written during the three years of her travels. This one had been written the night she'd saved Kikyou from the miasma...

_On the rainy nights I cry... 'cause no one can see my tears_

_In a thunderstorm I scream... 'cause no one can hear my fears_

_But still I can't hide this pain that has besotted me..._

_this terrible feeling that has settled in my heart._

_I can hide my tears and my screams, but my shattered heart... I can not hide_

_I can't hold you, I can't touch you..._

_How I long to do both, this emptiness inside is killing me._

_How I watch as you suffer at the hands of another... knowing how I want _

_to caress you with my own hands..._

_I want to show you I can love you, I can heal you._

_You've always held my heart... you just never knew it...._

_you've always controlled my being._

_I live for you, you call me friend... How I wish you to call me something more._

_My heart races and breaks as you call my name, _

_for me to meet yet another woman by your side._

_I'll cry only when the night cries and scream only when the sky does..._

_So that no one knows, how its killing me inside..._

_each time you hold me it renews me... but too soon you leave_

_Please one day... just... look at me._

How ironic. To find this now...

She tore it out of the notebook and crumbled it up, throwing it on the floor.

_So much for that. He won't ever be looking at me again._

_Bastard._

More tears slipped down her cheeks, and she wiped them away angrily. _Why can't I stop crying?! I've shed enough tears for that jerk to float the Titanic!_

She sighed, bitterness searing her. _This has got to stop. I don't want to remember him, or her. It's enough to remember Shippo, Sango and Miroku, and Kirara - hell, that ass cost me everything, my friends, and my life. I don't need to give him my tears, too._

She shoved the notebook back on her desk and went to the bed and lay down. _I'm still so tired..._

Eyes closing as she fell into sleep, she had no clue what was coming. She might wish to forget the past, but the past wasn't about to let her go.

The kami would get their way... and so would Yasha.

One way or another.

Kagome was about to get the rest of her soul back, wanted or not.

---sSs---

A/N: The poem above, called One Day, was written by my daughter and used with her permission. I wanted to take a moment here, and thank all those who have reviewed so far, here and at Media miner... it means a lot that you read the story so far, and then spent a little time letting me know what you think.

Ja Ne,

Amber


	5. Going Under

**Chapter 4: Going Under**

Sesshoumaru sighed. This was looking like it was going to be a long day already - and it had barely started. He had decided that he needed to know more about what was going on; while he'd indeed met the miko many times in the past, he really didn't know much of what had gone on between Kagome and his baka brother.

The only thing he _did _know was that it had to have been severe to have caused such a reaction in the miko. He'd had a grudging respect for her since that time in his father's tomb - although he'd never admitted it to her, he considered her the strongest and most honorable human he'd ever met - even considering Rin.

That she was now in such a state made him extremely curious... and one did not leave the youkai Lord of the West curious when he asked for information.

So now, here he sat with his reincarnated brother, now his nephew, trying to figure out where to start.

"Tell me, Yasha... what do _you_ think is the cause of the miko's breakdown?"

Yasha stared out the window, eyes distant as he thought back through his memories - well, Inuyasha's memories.

"I think most of it has to do with how that idiot treated Kagome. Along with the things that Kikyou did to her as well... and then the final rejection from him, was just too much for her. He didn't even give her the chance to take in the fact that Naraku was defeated, let alone say good bye to those she cared about... he just took her to the well, told her about me, took the jewel, and then told her to go."

"Hn." Sesshoumaru raised a brow. He'd always known his brother was an idiot... it was a good thing that his nephew had _not _inherited that characteristic.

"So, in essence, what you are telling me is that he broke the miko."

Yasha turned and cast him a startled glance. "Uh... yeah, I guess you could say that."

"What I do not understand is how he accomplished this. I knew that he was obnoxious to her - but that should not have been enough to break her - he was obnoxious to most people."

"Well... not so much, Uncle. The truth is, Inuyasha never treated Kikyou, Sango, or pretty much any other woman like he treated Kagome... and yet, she's the one that saved his life, took care of him, and gave him a reason to fight. I have never been able to understand his thinking on the whole thing." He shook his head, aggravated. It was difficult sometimes to articulate his thoughts on this situation.

"I mean, I know what his reasoning was. He was afraid to let anyone close - rejection was his greatest fear. Problem was, Kagome _did _get too close... and she did it quickly. She became his greatest_ weakness_, and so he did everything he could to push her away. Once Kikyou was brought back though, everything went downhill - and he would never listen to anything said against her."

He frowned at his nephew. "What do you mean, said against her?"

"Kikyou tried to kill Kagome, she stole the jewel shards from her and gave them to Naraku, she taunted and tormented Kagome practically every chance she got, especially in the beginning. Inuyasha knew it, too... he just wouldn't admit it to himself, or anyone else. After awhile, she stopped being so overtly cruel, but she always talked down to her, calling her a 'copy' all the time."

Yasuo stared at his son with shock. "What are you saying, Yasha? These are things I've never heard about my great-great-grandparents..." he trailed off uncertainly as his son shot him a look.

"Keh! Who do you think I am? I know what I'm talking about. The thing is, Kagome always thought that Inuyasha didn't know about most of this - she never told him - but he did know... he just couldn't bear to bring himself to _believe _it because of his feelings for Kikyou. I don't suffer from that particular problem - from the memories I have of her, and the knowledge I have of Kagome, I _know _who the better woman is... I have no liking for Kikyou whatsoever," he growled low in his chest, "nor for my own former incarnation at this point. They've caused a lot of hell for Kagome - and myself, now, too."

His parents exchanged looks with Sesshoumaru. The thought was present amongst all three that maybe Yasha should _also _have a chat with Mika. This was an almost impossible situation, and it was quickly becoming obvious that he needed all the support he could get.

Things are always darkest just before the dawn... and it was only just after midnight in this little adventure.

Dawn was still a_ long _way off.

---sSs---

Kagome had woken from her little nap after less than an hour - despite the fact that she was still exhausted, she couldn't seem to stay asleep, so finally despairing of gaining any peace in unconsciousness, she grabbed her ipod and sat at her window as she listened to every haunting song she could think of as she softly sang along various words that struck her.

_I wish I was lonely  
Instead of just only  
Crystal and see-through  
And not enough to you_

_Cause you don't see me  
And you don't need me  
And you don't love me  
The way I wish you would  
_

A slight smile crossed her face as she sang that... _I guess I am lonely now, huh?_

Shaking her head, she listened to the next song.

_Oh, yes... this certainly fits, _she thought, bitterly.

_Now I will tell you what I've done for you,  
50 thousand tears I've cried.  
screaming, deceiving, and bleeding for you,  
and you still won't hear me.  
_

_Don't want your hand this time, I'll save myself,  
maybe I'll wake up for once.  
not tormented daily defeated by you.  
just when I thought I reached the bottom, _

_I'm dying again._

Well, actually, now that she thought about it, it might be nicer to actually _be _dead... it would certainly hurt less.

Her thoughts began to roam more as she listened, and after a while, they ended with that Yasha guy, as she took off the headphones and tossed the ipod on her desk. She snorted, anger rising within her as she thought of him.

Didn't any of those fools understand? She'd never been able to get Inuyasha to do so, that was for sure. He'd always seen Kikyou when he'd looked at her, but they were totally different people. So why did all these idiots think she'd just happily hop all over_ Inuyasha's _reincarnation? Just from the little she'd seen yesterday, even though they seemed to talk a lot alike, their personalities were definitely different... just because she'd known Inuyasha, didn't mean she knew this guy.

Frankly, she didn't want to, either. She had no desire to see _any _male again - in fact, if she could find a place to go that didn't have men, she'd be there in a heartbeat. Maybe fifty or sixty years alone would give her the time to figure herself out. It'd be nice to know who she was... funny thought, that - she'd known when she was younger... before the well, before _him. _It was just too bad that he'd fucked up her life, and her mind, and apparently with the kami's permission, too.

And then, after denying her heart, they decide to throw her a sop..._ here, have Inuyasha's reincarnation - ignore the fact that he's a totally different person and all and just be happy you're getting anything._

_Hmph._

_What did I ever do to deserve this shit?_

And then the realization hit her, and she started to laugh... only she couldn't stop, and so she laughed, and cried, and laughed some more.

_How ironic._

_I was Kikyou. That's what I did to deserve all this... after all, Kikyou was supposed to go to hell, wasn't she?_

_Guess I just missed the damn 'Welcome to Hell' sign when I arrived here._

She was still laughing when her mother hurried in with a basin of icy water and began splashing it in her face.

Great remedy for hysteria.

Suddenly, Kagome was no longer laughing. She was no longer doing _anything._

---sSs---

Aiko was glad that Yasha, his parents, and his Uncle were on their way to her house at this point - despite the fact that she would end up with a houseful, she didn't know how much more she could handle with Kagome being the way she was.

She'd come running minutes earlier after hearing hysterical laughter coming from her daughter's room, only to see her laughing and crying at the same time, not even aware that her mother had entered the room, until she'd been splashed with icy water - and now, she sat, clothes, skin, and hair dripping cold water - completely unaware of any of it.

Aiko was pretty sure that her daughter's mind wasn't even in the same century anymore.

Retrieving a towel from the bathroom closet, she moved back into Kagome's room and began drying her unresponsive daughter as best she could, then stripped her soaked shirt and replaced it with a dry one, and attempted to get her back over to the bed. Luckily for her, Kagome stood and moved her feet as long as she was guided, so she settled her in fairly quickly, then left the room, quietly closing the door behind her.

She didn't want Kagome to wake and hear them all talking about her condition - at this point, there was no telling what she'd do.

She closed her eyes wearily for a moment, then went and joined her father-in-law downstairs to wait for their guests.

It was all they could do, now - wait, and hope those coming could help.

Not for the first time, Aiko wondered whether she should have forbidden Kagome's trips into the past...

---sSs---

Yasha stood on the sidewalk and stared up at the steps leading to the shrine... and Kagome, with ambivalence. He wanted to see her, and he wanted to be near her, he _needed_ it, but he had to admit, he was afraid. There was very little, really, that he feared in this life - the blood of his however many times grandfather, the Inu no Taisho, ran strong in him - truth was, he was stronger than Inuyasha had even been, but he feared the pain Kagome could pour on him... he feared it greatly.

But he would not let that fear conquer him, if he did, he'd not only lose all his own self-respect, but his other half - and that wasn't something he was willing to risk, so, with a glance at his family members that were already heading up the stairs, he firmed his resolve and took the first step.

Funny thing about first steps - they always seemed the hardest; the ones after came much easier, and he was definitely glad for that.

Sesshoumaru had watched his young nephew out of the corner of his eye, knowing that this situation would be the test of his inner strength, and his honor and courage. He was well pleased with the determination he caught in the boys eyes... he suspected that Yasha would need every bit of it before this situation was taken care of.

It was funny, in a way... this boy carried his brother's soul - and yet, he had far more respect for this young male than he ever had for the whelp that had been his brother. Part of Inuyasha's failings had been attributable to his horrible life as a hanyou, but still... he had acted without honor to a female that had only ever honored and cared for him.

Even taking into account that he wasn't the incarnation meant for her, and that sending her home had actually been the right thing to do, the way he'd done it, and all the things he'd done to her over the years, his behavior had just been inexcusable. He could see that Yasha, however, would never do the same things to the miko - she would be treated with honor.

He was truly glad that the idiot he had called a brother was gone, and that instead, his soul was being housed by a much better person. It was too bad that _Inuyasha _couldn't have been _Yasha_... he would have been proud to call him brother.

His thoughts moved to his daughter and what she was likely to have to say once she'd seen Kagome. He had the feeling that, even once the initial damage had begun to heal, and she had gotten used to Yasha's presence in her life, it was going to be a long haul... and that her and Yasha together would need counseling, not only for this life, but to help deal with the leftover mess from their past lives.

If only it hadn't been for Naraku, none of this twisted timeline crap would have happened...

Sesshoumaru, Etsu, and Yasuo all looked around with interest as they reached the top of the shrine steps. The main part of the shrine was ahead of them, accessed by several steps a bit to the left. Further to the left on the lower level, there was a smaller shrine.

Etsu glanced at her son.

"So, Yasha, where's the well, and the Goshinboku?"

His head snapped up as he heard his mother's voice. He'd been off in his own little world. "Oh, uh.." he indicated the smaller shrine to their left. "That's the well, and this," he moved forward towards a huge tree, "is the Goshinboku." Indicating the scarring on it's trunk, he said, "That's where Inuyasha was sealed all those years." Once again, he ran his hand across that spot... even in another life, that place always sent shivers down his spine.

Sesshoumaru stared at it for a moment, then turned away. Across the courtyard, there was another set of steps leading to the family's home, and for a moment, his mind went back five hundred years into the past, and he remembered what this place had looked like when it was still wild.

Just as he started to turn, he caught a flash of silver, and he stopped and watched as his daughter moved towards him. Mika was his eldest daughter, and his most accomplished. She was not only a psychologist, able to treat youkai and ningen, but she was also a medical doctor... again, able to treat both races.

Her expertise would be particularly welcome in this situation - after all, the miko was owed a debt for the destruction of Naraku, and for the damage his brother had done to her... and she was destined to be family. He knew that if anyone could help Kagome, it would be Mika.

"You are planning to make her sleep after you speak to her, are you not, Mika? So that her soul can be replaced in her?"

Mika nodded shortly at her father. "Five ml. injection of valium... it will also keep her calm for some time after she wakes, and wear off slowly. As long as she's on no other meds that would interfere, of course."

Yasha shook his head. "She's not on anything, Aunt Mika." He frowned, a guilty, worried look crossing his face. "Are you sure we're doing the right thing by making her take that part of her soul back?"

Mika glanced at the others standing around, then back at Yasha. "Yes. That's part of the reason she's taken this whole thing so badly. She's been too long without her whole soul. Did you know that she's in pain all the time from it? She has been since the day it was taken from her. This is the only way to stop it, because that piece of soul is part of her - part of who she is."

Yasha stared at her for a moment, then his eyes traced to Kagome's window. He knew that it was a part of her - but on the other hand... he sighed, shrugging.

"Alright. Let's do this, then." He waved the group forward. "I'll introduce all of you to the Higurashi's."

---cCc---

Kagome woke slowly, and for a few minutes, she actually felt peaceful... like she was floating, warm and comfortable - content.

And then reality checked back in with her, and her heart sank.

She pulled herself into a sitting position against the wall, so she could look out her window. It was late afternoon, judging by the light, and she looked over at her clock... three-thirty pm. Not that she really cared, truthfully... not like she had anywhere in particular to be - not like she used to.

_No more Inuyasha coming through my window hollering about hurrying my lazy ass up anymore... I did what he wanted me to - and then he threw me away. Guess I was always just a tool..._

She pulled her knees up to her chest and laid her head down on them, wrapping her arms around herself.

_Not really much different here, either. I'm supposed to go to school, get good grades, get a good career, and make lots of money - why? So I honor my family. _

_But what do I want? I - I don't even know anymore. I don't feel at home here. I can't even talk to my old friends without having to lie about the most of the last three years of my life! None of them has seen or done the things I have - my life here has been too compromised._

_I hate that. It was all for nothing. I went and wasted three years of my life and my mental health for an ass who couldn't have cared less as long as he got what he wanted. _

_It hurts..._

_And it shouldn't. _She snorted suddenly. _The kami have decided my fate... too bad they couldn't have just offed me in the battle with Naraku. It would have been kinder of them than this fate they've stuck me with._

She gasped and her eyes widened in shock. _Have I really fallen so far that I feel... hatred for the gods?_

A single tear ran down her cheek when she realized...

_Yes... I have fallen that far. I've lost all my faith... and my identity. I really _am_ going under..._

_What's left for me now?_

She was jerked out of her thoughts by a knock on the door... and her mother's voice calling her name. When she opened the door and came in, Kagome lifted her head and stared in surprise at the woman who followed her mother into the room

It was like looking at a female Sesshoumaru. Same markings, same coloring - just much more feminine features.

Sudden suspicion ran through her and she shrank back against the wall, staring at her mother and the woman warily.

"Who the hell are you?"

---sSs---

A/N: The above lyrics are first, You Don't See Me, by Josie and the Pussycats, and second, Going Under, by Evanescence, which I took the name of this chapter from, as well. As usual, I do not own the songs or have any rights to them.

Amber


	6. The Forgotten

**Chapter 5: The Forgotten**

"There's no need to fear me, Kagome. My name is Mika, and as you can probably tell," she rolled her eyes, "Sesshoumaru is my father."

Narrowing her eyes, Kagome held herself still against the wall, obviously not about to trust anyone at this point... not even her mother.

"So what do you want? Don't think I can't feel all the youki swirling around downstairs... why are so many youkai in the house?"

Mika blinked. "Is there a problem with youkai being here? Your mother was not upset by our presence."

Kagome shook her head. "That's not what I meant!" She closed her eyes, and concentrated on the auras, after a moment, her eyes snapped back open. "Sesshoumaru's here in my house, and so is that Taisho guy that was here the other day. Why? Come to gloat at the 'pathetic copy'?" she asked, bitterly.

Her mother gasped, but before she could say anything, Mika held up a hand and shook her head. "Why would you think you are Kikyou's 'copy?" She tilted her head, slight confusion in her eyes. "Kikyou was a child compared to you - calling you her copy is the same as calling _me _her copy. I don't understand your thinking on this."

Kagome stared at her, shocked and unsure. _Is she telling the truth? _Eyes narrowing even further, she asked again, "Why are you here, then?"

Mika gestured to the desk chair behind her. "May I sit?"

"If you want to, I guess."

"Well, I'm here to talk to you for a few minutes - and I also have a shot of something. Your mother said that you were really upset so I brought some medication along that will help you for tonight - so you won't be bothered by your thoughts, and can get a little sleep."

_Gods, that sounds good... drugs to make me sleep without being plagued by memories._

A mistrustful look still on her face, she pursed her lips for a moment, obviously thinking. "So, you want to talk. What about? And if I talk, you'll give me this shot so I can sleep?"

"Well, to be honest, father was curious. He always had respect for your strength of will, and so he wanted to know what could upset you so badly. He was concerned. And yes, I'll give you the shot when we're done."

Kagome snorted, a disgusted look crossing her face and she turned and stared out the window again.

"Like I believe that. Lord Sesshoumaru never could stand me - hell, he tried to kill me several times, and even when he stopped trying to kill me, he still hated ningens, and barely said two words to me. But if he's curious, then tell him it's his bastard brother that upset me, and I'm pissed at him. That oughta please Sesshoumaru, since he always hated Inuyasha anyway."

A frown crossed her face, then settled into a sullen look. "Come to think of it, I should have listened when he would talk about what a bastard Inuyasha was instead of trying to defend him. Maybe then I wouldn't be in this mess. At least with Sesshoumaru, I knew where I stood. He hated me, and I could deal with that."

Mika chuckled. "Well, I can't speak to how he saw you in the beginning, but I know that his views on you had certainly changed by the time of Naraku's defeat. For the longest time, he saw you as the only human worth anything at all - he felt you had honor, strength, and courage. And from my father, that's high praise."

Aiko was still standing near the door, listening intently but not saying anything.

_She kept so much inside - so many things that she went through that none of us ever knew..._

Kagome shrugged, indifference settling over her. "Yeah well, not that it matters now or anything. So is there anything else you need to know?"

"I am curious about one thing." She paused for a moment, looking searchingly at the girl. "Why won't you take back the rest of your soul?"

At the mention of that, her jaw clenched so hard it hurt, and she glared over at the woman. "That's not my soul, it belongs to that bitch, and I don't want anything to do with it, do you hear me?" she shrieked, quickly becoming irate.

Mika's brow rose into her hairline at that reaction.

_I see... identity crisis, brought on by too many years of trauma. On top of that, I believe she has PTSD. Gods know she'd have plenty of reason to. Her emotions are overwhelming her and she's drowning... her mind is too unstable to level her out right now, and that missing part of her soul isn't helping._

"That's fine, Kagome, I was just curious. If you want, I can give you that shot now, and we'll all go downstairs and leave you to sleep."

Kagome nodded jerkily, every muscle in her body so tight by this time that she could barely move. "Please. I want to sleep."

Reaching into her pocket, Mika pulled out the prepared syringe and an alcohol pad. Moving quickly, she sat on the bed, and realizing the state Kagome was in, picked up the girls arm. Pulling back her sleeve, she opened the wipe, moved it thoroughly over the area, then administered the shot.

"Give it about fifteen minutes or so, Kagome, and you will begin to relax. As soon as you begin to feel your muscles loosen, I would suggest you lay down, because within five minutes you'll be falling asleep."

Standing, she cast a significant look at Aiko, then tossed the wipe away in the trash and moved towards the door. "Sleep well, Kagome."

"Yeah... thanks." She mumbled her reply, casting a still aggravated look at Mika, obviously still upset about the mention of the soul orb.

Kagome sighed with relief as the two left the room. She didn't even want her mother around right now, all she wanted was the promised relief from the shot, and blessed oblivion.

She didn't have long to wait.

---cCc---

Yasha stood as soon as he heard the women on the stairs, with an expectant expression on his face. The moment she entered the room, he asked, "Well?"

She frowned slightly at him. "Patience, Yasha. Let me sit down."

She moved over to the chair she'd sat in before, then looked around the room for a moment. With a sigh, she said, "Kagome is suffering from several different things. Right off, she needs the rest of her soul back. That is going to help stabilize her. But even beyond that, she has a lot to deal with. Bottom line, she's in shock, and she is suffering from PTSD. On top of that, she's dealing with an identity crisis - because of the problems with Inuyasha and Kikyou, and what they put her through, she's just not sure who she is anymore."

Yasha shook his head, anger breaking free from him, and he stomped over to the window and looked out it. Voice bitter, he said, "Then should we really make her take back that piece of soul?"

"Yes." She sighed again. "Kagome thinks that by taking that piece back, she will become nothing but a walking, talking echo of Kikyou - she's wrong, but you will never get her to believe that. The only thing to do is wait 'til she's asleep, and then return it to her."

Yasuo exchanged concerned glances with his mate. "But what's going to happen when she wakes up and that part of her soul is back? Will she realize it?"

Sesshoumaru considered that for a moment. "She will know it is back. However, how she will react is another matter. There is no way to know until it happens."

Aiko reached over and squeezed her father-in-law's arm as he looked on in concern. "How bad could it get?" she whispered, fear evident in her voice.

"The worst that could happen would be a state of catatonia. Even that, however, would most likely only be temporary - long enough for her mind to deal with the circumstances, and then she would awaken." Mika was pretty confident in her words... the girls aura was simply too powerful to stay muted forever. She would eventually awaken.

Yasha clenched one hand into a fist, and glared out the window, worry evident in every line of his body.

"So, how long are we waiting before taking the barrier off the orb?"

Mika glanced at her watch. "About fifteen more minutes. I want her good and asleep."

Out of habit, grandpa looked at his watch as well, and his brows ascended as he realized how late it was. "Aiko, where is Sota? He should be home already!"

She patted his arm. "I sent him to stay with a friend for the night, don't worry. I didn't think he needed to be here for this."

Sesshoumaru nodded at her. "Wise. The young one would be unhappy that he could not help. The less he sees of this, the better."

Mika smiled over at Aiko. "After she has taken in the soul, the rest of the family will probably go home - however, I will stay until she wakes, just in case."

Yasha whipped around from his contemplation of the yard at that. "Hell no! I'm not leaving until she wakes up and I know how she's doing."

Etsu started to say something, but Yasuo cut her off. "Okay, son. I won't argue with you on this. Just be careful, and do what Mika tells you, agreed?"

He didn't look too happy about it, but finally nodded. "Fine."

Mika glanced at her watch again, and stood. "It's time. Aiko, would you bring the soul fragment to her room, but not break the barrier 'til I ask you?"

She nodded, and went up the stairs to her room to retrieve the orb.

Mika and Yasha headed for the stairs, everyone else holding their places in the room, content to wait.

---cCc---

Mika opened the door to Kagome's room, and poked her head in to make sure the girl was asleep, then opened it fully and stepped into the room, gesturing for Yasha to enter and move to one corner of the room so he'd be out of the way.

She didn't miss the look of longing in his eyes as he saw Kagome, or the deep inhale he took of her scent - he looked like he was ready to cry, and she determined that after this was done, and they were waiting for the girl to wake, she'd speak to him about counseling for him as well as Kagome. She would work with them singly and together - it would take up a lot of her time, but this was family, and she wouldn't turn her back on them.

Frankly, they needed all the help they could get.

She turned from her contemplation of Yasha as Aiko walked into the room, her hands gently cupping a small, glowing orb, and she nodded.

"Please... go ahead and break the barrier. Kagome is most definitely asleep."

Yasha hissed. "Are you _sure_ this is the best thing to do?"

"Yes, Yasha, for the thousandth time," she chuckled. "It has to be done. She cannot go on any longer without it, no matter how much she hates the idea of it. It is why she's so unstable. If she hadn't been missing it to begin with, she wouldn't be nearly as bad off as she is right now - she'd still have a lot of issues to deal with, and pain to heal - but not like this."

He growled, eyes going to her, lying in the bed. Even in her sleep she looked broken - and his heart clenched.

_She's so precious to me..._

He closed his eyes for a moment, then nodded. "Keh. Let's get this over, then." He opened his eyes and stared at her. "You'd better be right about this."

She nodded to him, understanding the warning. His youkai was trying to protect it's mate, so she wasn't offended by his doubts and warnings. It was Inu nature, after all.

Aiko inhaled and then closed her eyes, focusing her powers on the barrier, and it responded, flaring brightly for a moment, then flashing out of existance, and the moment it dropped, the soul fragment almost _hurled _itself into Kagome.

At the moment it rejoined her, Kagome jerked, and then she began to whimper, tossing and turning as though she was fevered. Mika stepped back, a surprised look crossing her face.

Yasha snarled at her. "What the fuck, Mika? I thought you said it would help her?!"

"Quiet!" She glared at him momentarily, then looked back at Kagome, who was still whimpering, and now had tears running down her face as well. "She will be fine - I was just surprised by just how vehement she really was about not wanting it. With the valium in her system, _nothing _should make her react, but that soul fragment did. It's because she didn't want it - she's fighting it even in her sleep."

"Keh! And that's supposed to be _good?! _ What the hell do you consider_ bad _then?" he asked, sarcasm and anger evident in his voice.

Aiko intervened between the two, stepping towards Yasha and putting a calming hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, Yasha," she murmured. "Kagome's been through worse than this in the last several years. She'll pull through this as well - after all, we all plan to help her, don't we?"

Mika nodded, but before she could day anything, Kagome let out a strangled gasp, then went motionless, and Mika turned and bent over her still figure, checking her pulse, as Yasha and Aiko held their breaths in fear.

"She's fine, just fully back under the influence of the medication."

She straightened back up and turned to face them.

"She's not fighting herself anymore."

The three stared at each other, then looked at the pale girl laying in the bed.

Now that that was over, they were left wondering what would happen when she woke.

---cCc---

Those left in the living room all looked up from their thoughts as the three came back into the room. Sesshoumaru was the first to react.

"What happened?"

Mika shook her head as she sat down. "She really didn't want that part of her soul back, father. Even with the valium in her system, she fought it. I've never really seen the likes of that before."

The group looked at each other, concern evident in their expressions. Etsu frowned and sent a sympathetic look to her son. "But she did receive it, correct?"

"Yes. After a few minutes of fighting it, she finally accepted it and let go. She'll sleep for several more hours. You all may as well go home - I will stay 'til she wakes, and call as soon as I know anything."

Yasuo, Etsu, and Sesshoumaru stood, then, and bowing to Aiko and the miko's grandfather, turned to leave, piling into the genkan to retrieve their shoes. Sesshoumaru nodded to Aiko. "If you need anything, please feel free to let me know." Glancing at his daughter, he said, "I will await your call, no matter the time, daughter."

Mika smiled at him. "Okay, father, if that's what you want, but you'd better hope it doesn't wake mother."

He narrowed his eyes disapprovingly at her. "Hn."

Shaking her head in amusement, Mika slid the door shut, then turned and went back into the living room. Aiko looked up as she came in and said, "I need to get dinner started. I hope you and Yasha will take dinner with us?"

Yasha nodded distractedly. "Yeah, sure. Thanks, Aiko-san." He returned to staring out the window, losing himself in his thoughts again, as Mika nodded.

"I thank you, Aiko. Dinner would be most welcome."

Aiko smiled, and turned to head into the kitchen. She loved to cook, and having guests made it even more worthwhile. It also helped to take her mind off her daughter for a little while, and she was humming happily to herself as she disappeared through the door into the kitchen. Mika chuckled as she watched her go.

Turning her gaze on Yasha, she sighed inwardly when she saw how tense he was, and the hurt he was carrying in the set of his shoulders. Walking over to join him at the window, she followed his gaze to the Goshinboku. With a nod, she realized where his thoughts were.

"Tell me, Yasha - how did Inuyasha feel about Kagome? I would very much like to know - I am having a hard time figuring him and his actions out."

He glanced over at her, brow raised, then looked back out towards the god tree. His eyes went far away, and it was obvious that he was looking back into the past.

"Feh." He shook his head, inhaling deeply, then letting it all out. "Inuyasha was always caught between the two of them. He didn't know how he felt, really, except that, while he adored Kagome, there was just, I don't know how to describe it... a slightly better fit with Kikyou." He chuckled then, though there was little humor in the sound.

"Do you know... he remembered Kagome's scent 'til the day he died? He never forgot it, not even after several hundred years. He loved her scent. And I'm no different. You could stick me in a room with a thousand people a hundred years after being away from Kagome and I'd immediately know she was there... just by her scent."

Mika nodded at that. "Yes, her scent is pleasant, is it not?"

He snorted disbelievingly at that. "Pleasant?! For you, maybe. For me? It's the best damn thing I've ever smelled... and _pleasant _isn't really on my mind when I catch a whiff of her. It's more like immediate meltdown. Trying to keep my hands to myself over the years I've been waiting and watching her has been a challenge I hope I never have to go through again. I hope like hell this is over soon... or _I'll _be the crazy one."

Mika laughed, a slight blush crossing her face. "Okay, that was TMI, Yasha. I really didn't need to know that."

He chuckled again. "Well, you asked."

She sobered then. "When she wakes, Yasha, I want to start seeing you two, together, every day. There's a lot to work through, and the sooner we get a start, the sooner your hopes for the future can happen. Will you agree to counseling with Kagome?"

He sighed. "I knew you were going to ask that, and you should know the answer. I'll do anything it takes to get Kagome back the way she's supposed to be, no matter what it takes. So, yes, I will."

Mika patted him on the back, then, and smiled slightly at him. "I will help you find her, Yasha," she said softly. "We all will. You are _both _family, and we are behind you all the way. You aren't alone this time around."

Yasha jerked his head around to stare at her. He knew _exactly _what she meant with that statement.

He wasn't alone, this time - unlike last time, as Inuyasha. Now, as Yasha, he had what Inuyasha had so desperately wanted.

Family... a family that had his back.

He smiled at her, a genuine Yasha grin crossing his face.

"Thanks, Mika."

She smiled back. "You're welcome, Yasha."

---cCc---

Later that night, as the moonlight washed across the floor through the window, a low, frightened cry came from the room above, and Yasha and Mika were jerked from their light sleep.

Hitting the floor, they were both up the stairs and in front of her door in a flash, and both looked up when Aiko came through her bedroom door a few moments later. With a nod, she walked to the door, and taking a deep breath, let it out and opened it, moving into the room and to her daughter's bedside.

It was a good thing they had turned on her little lamp when they'd left the room earlier.

Kagome sat up in bed, staring at the people in her room with confusion and a little suspicion. "Mama?" She looked up at the older woman, then back at the other two. "Who are those people and why are they here in my room?"

Aiko clapped a hand over her mouth in shock, and Yasha's jaw dropped. Mika was caught a bit off-guard as well, though really, she probably shouldn't have been.

"You don't remember who we are, Kagome?"

The girl tilted her head, an even more distrustful look crossing her face, and said, "No. Should I?"

_Well. This just keeps getting better and better. _

She stared at the girl, who stared right back, obviously unhappy with the strangers in her room, and had to grab Yasha's arm to keep him from going to her.

_Wonderful. Just wonderful._

She shook her head at Aiko, then dragged a protesting Yasha from the room, reaching for her phone as she shut the door behind them.

_Father's going to love this one._

The moment he answered the phone, she spoke.

"We have a nice case of shock-induced amnesia, father. She remembers her family, but not us."

---cCc---

A/N: Wanted to send a big Thank You to all the reviewers here and over at Media Miner... It's been so good to see the response to this story, and I'm very pleased that so many have picked up on the emotions in this piece. A special shout out to Angelica Pierce... her reviews are so in-depth that they've even helped clarify some of my _own _thoughts to me, and also to mariposa miko, tigerfrog, and Angela Culver... I'm glad to see that you and your family are hanging in there, Angela.

Amber


	7. Shadows of a Dying Heart

**Chapter 6: Shadows of a Dying Heart**

Aiko came out of the room, shutting the door behind her, a shocked look still resting on her face. Mika looked at her questioningly as Yasha growled.

"She's resting again. She was just thirsty." Shaking her head to clear it, she asked, "What happened? She knew who I was, but didn't know who or _what _you two were."

Yasha frowned deeply. "What do you mean, she doesn't know what we are?"

Aiko looked at him, a somewhat dazed look crossing her face. "Just what I said. Apparently, she has no idea what youkai or hanyou are. If I had to guess from the few things she said to me in there, she's gone back in her mind to before she went through the well for the first time."

A dumbfounded silence met her words.

Mika inhaled sharply, then exhaled, slowly letting all the tension out. "Well." She glanced at Aiko. "You didn't try to tell her any differently, did you?"

"Oh, no. I figured you'd know what to do so I just spoke in generalities. She was still very tired, so she really didn't say much after you two left the room."

Yasha hissed, upset and doing his best to fight his youkai that was demanding he go take care of his mate.

"Keh! What the hell is going on, Mika? How long is she gonna be like this?"

She shook her head, suddenly tired. It had been a long day, and tomorrow was looking to be even longer. She made a mental note to have her assistant cancel all her appointments for the next two days. She would cite a family emergency. It was only true, after all.

She broke from her thoughts at Yasha's impatient huff. "Sorry, Yasha. You asked how long?" At his nod, she continued. "This is only a temporary thing, don't worry. What's happened is that her mind shut everything down - it's a self-defense mechanism, really. She will more than likely regain her memories a piece at a time as her mind thinks she can handle it, rather than all at once, and I doubt it will be any longer than two months - at the outside."

Yasha slammed his fist into his other hand. "Damn! So what do we do in the meantime?"

Aiko watched the young hanyou with sorrow. He hurt so much it literally poured off him, and her heart warmed to him so much in that moment. It was hard to watch the hurt flickering in his eyes and she wrapped her arm around him for a moment... silently giving him all her support as they waited for Mika to decide what to do.

"Well, actually, this might be a good thing in some ways, Yasha. This will give you a little bit of a chance to start letting her get to know you, without the interference of her broken heart trying to reject you. By the time her memories have fully returned, some time will have passed to give her a bit of distance from it, and she will have had a chance to spend a great deal of that with you. I doubt that she will outright reject you at that point like she has been doing."

Yasha's eyes had widened as Mika spoke, and a spark of hope lit them from within. He hadn't thought of that... and apparently neither had Aiko, as she smiled when Mika pointed it out.

"Well, that would be nice - to have _something _good come out of all this mess."

Mika chuckled. "Right now, I suggest we go ahead and go home for the rest of the night. We will be back first thing in the morning - I need to talk to Kagome and find out exactly where we stand with this, you know, where her memories end, and then go from there in explaining things to her."

Aiko nodded. "That sounds good." She glanced at Yasha. "Although, if Yasha would like, he is welcome to stay - do you want to?" she asked, smiling as he nodded eagerly. "I'll go make up the couch, then, and Mika, thank you for all your help - I'd invite you to stay as well, but I think you'd be happier going home and resting in your own bed, ne?"

"Very much so." She caught Yasha's eye. "I'll call your parents and let them know to bring over some clothes and personal items in the morning, okay?" He nodded, and she said, "Goodnight then, you two. No worries, things will work out. And please, try not to go into any details with Kagome if she wakes and begins to ask questions... I need to assess her first and decide what would be best to tell her, okay?"

The two nodded, and Mika smiled and turned to head downstairs. It was late and they could all use the sleep - and she still had to get home. "In the morning, then."

Aiko followed her downstairs and bid her goodnight, before going to the laundry room and pulling blankets and pillows from the cupboards for the young hanyou. "Yasha, would you like some sweats and a t-shirt to sleep in?" she asked quietly.

Not surprised when he nodded, she handed him an old pair of sweats, then turned of the light, prepared to head back to her bed. She patted Yasha on the arm, and gifted him with a smile.

"Sleep well, Yasha. I'll see you in the morning."

He smiled back, still obviously hurting, but carrying a small spark of hope now, and bowed his head.

"Goodnight, Aiko-sama. Sleep well, and dream brightly."

_Maybe I can dream brightly, as well, since it looks like that's all I'll have for a while at least... dreams._

_I've had so many over the years, but none of them ever began this way, and I can only hope that getting all the suffering over now, will lead to more happiness later - I don't want any shadows hanging over us._

_I think we've had enough of that to last three lifetimes - the both of us._

---cCc---

Aiko chuckled. _When Mika says bright and early, she means it. Even Kagome isn't up yet, and I've barely started breakfast._

Yasha jerked awake the moment he heard her voice, popping up off the couch and cornering her.

"Hey Mika, did you get my parents? They gonna show up today or what?"

"No, Yasha, they just brought a bag over to my place for you this morning. They figured we didn't need more people over here crowding things." She handed over the black carry-all she had slung over her shoulder, and he nodded, before taking off for the downstairs bathroom, eager to get a start on the day.

Mika watched him go with a thoughtful look on her face. She'd spent a great deal of time last night after she'd gotten home considering things. This whole situation was incredibly tangled. Truly, it was a mess, and it was going to take quite a while to untangle it. Yasha was certainly going to need all the patience he could muster.

She turned with a sigh and looked over at Aiko. "Has Kagome stirred yet this morning?"

She shook her head. "No. It's all been quiet."

"Well, I'll go check in on her and get out of your way." Aiko nodded with a quiet smile and Mika moved out of the kitchen, heading for the stairs and the young miko's room.

_I wonder what I'll find today. She is certainly full of surprises, father was right about that. Speaking of which. I'd better use my concealing spell until I've talked to her. Wouldn't want to set her up for anymore shocks._

She chuckled at that. _Or maybe we should just shock her 'til there's no possibility to do so anymore - walk her out the other side of it, so to speak. _

She huffed a quiet laugh at that. _Yasha wouldn't appreciate that, I don't think. He'd probably try to pin _me_ to the goshinboku. So very protective, he is._

Reaching the top of the stairs, she moved silently to Kagome's door, and pushed it open just slightly, peeking inside. Her brows rose at the sight that met her.

_So much for her being asleep._

Kagome was very much awake, actually, and getting dressed, although it looked like that was only a side effect of what she was doing. It looked like she was pulling every thing she owned out of the closets and drawers - and not finding whatever it was that she was looking for. Mika listened in to her mumbling.

"Darn it! What is all this stuff? I don't recognize these clothes... and how did I get so fat overnight? This has to be a prank... I'll bet Sota did something, the little brat! Ohhhh, I'm gonna kill him!"

_Well... she thinks the changes in her body and the changes in her clothes are a prank? Maybe it's time to start on that talk... reality's about to kick her butt, poor kid._

"Kagome?" She had pulled the door silently back, and knocked.

She started a bit when the door was yanked back, and a glaring woman looked out at her, brow furrowing when she saw who it was.

"Okay, who are you and what are you doing here? And why are all my clothes gone and all this other stuff shoved in my room? Did I wake up in the twilight zone?"

Mika stared at her for a moment, a little taken aback at her fast talking. "Uh, well, if I can come in and sit down, I can explain things."

Kagome stared at her, eyes narrowing suspiciously, then suddenly, she shrugged. "Fine. Maybe you can also explain why I feel different, inside. I went to sleep as myself, and woke up in some alternate reality where Kagome isn't Kagome or some crap like that. I'm friggin' confused."

"Yes, I can explain all of it." She looked around her in awe as she made her way to the desk and chair, and sat down. "Were you looking for something in particular?"

She snorted, irritation plain in her face. "Yeah. _My_ stuff. None of this is stuff that I've seen before."

Mika sighed. "You might want to sit down, Kagome. What I've got to say is going to confuse you."

Kagome shot her a look, then plopped down on her bed. "Alright, out with it already. What the hell is going on?" She frowned. "And why do I keep feeling like I need to curse every other word? I never used to do that."

"Okay. Uh, tell me. How old are you?"

A confused look passed across her face. "I'm fifteen today. What's that got to do with all that other stuff I just asked?"

Mika shook her head. "I'm afraid not, Kagome. Actually, you're almost eighteen now." Disbelief bloomed in Kagome's expression. "You recently suffered a very bad shock, and are suffering from temporary amnesia because of that."

"You're crazy, lady... I'm not eighteen!"

"Well, that would explain why you do not recognize the clothes in your closets, and why you think you're bigger than you remember... and why you feel different. You've lost three years of your life, Kagome. It will all return, but it's going to take time." She sighed at the frightened look on the girl's face. "If you want confirmation, your mother is downstairs making breakfast. Why don't you ask her?"

With an angry glare, Kagome stood, and flinging her door open, took off down the stairs. As she skidded into the kitchen, her mother turned abruptly, and stared at her. "Kagome? Are you okay?"

"How old am I, mother? Is what the woman said true? Have I forgotten three years of my life?!"

Aiko cast a glance at Mika as she came up behind Kagome, and sighed, a downcast look on her face. "It's true, dear. Mika wasn't making it up."

Kagome stared at her for a moment, then shook her head, backing up, not even realizing that Mika was behind her as she turned on her heel and took off, yelling back over her shoulder, "I don't believe it! This is some horrible prank!"

Aiko started after her, when Mika grabbed her arm, tilting her head at Yasha, who was a mere streak as he took off after Kagome. "Let him go after her. He'll keep her from leaving the shrine, but let her cry it out by herself if she needs it."

Aiko's brow rose. "I didn't even see him come out of the bathroom. Quite fast, isn't he?" She shook her head to clear it, then looked at Mika. "Will she be okay?"

"Yes. Just give her a little time to process what's happened. We'll continue talking to her, after breakfast."

---cCc---

Kagome ran, and she kept running, all the way out of the house, and down the steps into the entrance courtyard - she ran until she got to the Goshinboku, and then she fell to her knees in front of it. For some reason, the aura of the tree just reached out to her, comforting her, and she needed every bit she could get right now, because she was very frightened.

_How could I have lost three years? It's all got to be here in my mind somewhere! I just have to find it, that's all, right?_

"What could have happened to me to make me forget? I'm not hurt so it wasn't an accident or anything... was it?" she whispered to herself.

'No, it wasn't an accident. It was an emotional shock."

Kagome stiffened at the sound of that voice. It seemed slightly familiar, but she couldn't place it, and she whipped around, searching for the owner of it. She growled when she saw him. It was that guy from last night in her room... the one who had left with the woman she'd just been talking to.

"Who the hell are you? Do I know you - you know, in all those memories I lost - did I lose memories of you, too?"

The young man sauntered towards her, a slight, sad smile on his face. "Yeah, you could say that, I guess. Name's Yasha."

Kagome flinched at that, his name reaching something inside her, but before she could reach out and grasp it, it faded, disappearing back into the depths of her mind like an echo of forgotten pain, and she grimaced in frustration.

"So, then how do I know you? Who are you to me?"

He turned his head slowly to face her, capturing her eyes with his, an intensity to them that she'd never seen in anyone's eyes ever before.

His gold eyes_... who has eyes like that - and all that beautiful silver hair..._

"We met first in another lifetime - I was your husband. And in this lifetime... I will one day be your husband again. That's what the kami have decreed for us - two souls bound by time to each other." He continued to stare at her, trying to get her to see in him what he saw in her.

She stared, mesmerized, but somewhere inside her, something fought his words. One part of her acknowledged him as her other half - but the other side refused to bow to that, warned her that he had caused her pain, in _two _lifetimes, and wasn't to be trusted with her heart.

One part of her told her that he'd destroyed her heart already, so that she didn't have one anymore...

And the other part told her that he told the truth - that she was destined to love him - in _any_ life. This life, a past life, it didn't matter.

The funny thing about it was that it never occurred to her to _disbelieve_ his words. She felt it all the way down to her soul... he was speaking the truth. They were bound.

But something fought the knowledge, screaming at her that he wasn't to be trusted, that things weren't quite so cut and dried. Tears began to leak from her tightly clenched eyes and muffled sobs broke from her.

The battle within her was too titanic, too overwhelming, and her heart, mind, and soul were too tired and fractured to contain the struggle anymore as her aura writhed in pain and confusion, and a barrier went up around her, effectively locking her away from Yasha and anyone else until she could calm herself... becoming numb once more.

Yasha watched, her aura spiking so high, causing his to also rise up in tandem with her own, and he could feel the agony that dwelt within her. There was just _so _much damage, deep, down to the bottom of her soul, and he wondered if either of them would ever be able to really be healed from the effects of the past - the effects of an evil hanyou that had died five hundred years before.

Inuyasha and Kagome and the others may have defeated that bastard Naraku in battle, but the effects of his betrayals were still being felt, spreading like ripples across time and space.

Would it ever end? _Could _they ever escape the grasp he had on them?

Looking back up at the tree, and the bare place his last incarnation had spent so long pinned to, he wondered if in reality, he and Kagome's souls weren't _still _pinned there...

And what it might take to get them down.

Who would pull the arrows from them this time around, if she was just as pinned as he?

---cCc---

A/N: Just a couple of issues I'd like to address here. This fic is_ not _an Inuyasha bashing fic - so far, we have only dealt with Kagome's side of things, but as we move on, and Yasha gets more involved_, Inuyasha's_ side will become more apparent, as well as his reasoning for why he did the things he did. Personally, I'm not all that attracted to Inuyasha bashing fics - I happen to adore Inuyasha. Just so people know.

Another thing that I would like to address is Sesshoumaru. While he has only made a small appearance in the story so far, and he doesn't have a major role in the rest, some of the readers contacted me privately with concerns that he is too OOC. I'm just going to point out here what I said to them... it has been five hundred years since the feudal era. I challenge anyone to tell me that a person, no matter who they are, would stay the _exact same_ _way_ for five hundred years. It's not happening. In this story, there are some character changes in him, although not major ones, I present the argument that time changes every person... at least a bit.

Last, but not least, I apologize that this chapter is a bit shorter - I had a family emergency come up and needed to leave the house, so I felt this was a good place to stop for the day, giving a decent chapter that I could post today before leaving. I am planning to post the next chapter tomorrow, as usual, barring anything unforseen, of course.

Ja Ne!

Amber


	8. All That is Gold Does Not Glitter

**Chapter 7: All That is Gold Does Not Glitter**

Mika stepped out the door and looked towards the god tree, instinctively noting the miko barrier in place around it, and shaking her head, walked out to Yasha as he watched the young woman that was still crying within its confines.

Her tears had finally begun to slow, but he could tell that it would still be a little while before she would be calm enough for the barrier to drop, and so, he waited - hoping beyond hope that this hadn't set her back any further than she already was. It was all so complicated - how do you know what to say in this kind of situation? What was just right, and what was too much?

"I love her, you know," he said, quietly, as Mika came up level with him. "Last life, this life, next life - it doesn't matter. It never will." He chuckled, then, low in his throat. "The body doesn't really matter, you know? It's like clothing. It's the soul that counts. Kikyou, Kagome, and whoever comes next - they are all _her_. Only the outer skin changes. What's _really _different between them is the fact that Kikyou was a child - Kagome is a more grown version of their soul. Same for me and Inuyasha. There's really no need for all this stress over it, if I could just get her to understand that."

Mika eyed him, impressed with his understanding. Truly, he was correct. The body_ was _clothing covering the _real_ person - the soul. And each incarnation was simply a more 'grown', so to speak, version of the soul. After all, that's what life was really all about. It was like school - you're here to learn, and once the lessons of one life were done, you passed on to the next, just like a new grade each year in school. Kikyou was like the middle school version of Kagome - Kagome was the high school version. A little older, a little wiser... but the same soul.

In that way, Kagome trying to deny her past as Kikyou was really just her striking out at _herself_, and the fact that she had reincarnated wasn't something to be ashamed of - it was no reason to feel as though she were a lesser being. The truth was, it was the other way around. There was no need for her to be so adamant that she was not Kikyou - it was obvious. Her soul had grown well beyond the parameters that Kikyou could have handled.

She was her own person - one that had the experience of being Kikyou at one time - just as her time as Kagome would end, and her soul would move on and inhabit a new body, all set to learn new lessons, and gain new perspectives.

She looked up from her contemplations and slid a glance his way. "I know, Yasha. And she will at some point, too. It will just take time. It is a difficult road to follow, is it not? But you have gained much wisdom from the lessons you've been forced to learn, so it has not been wasted, has it?"

He looked at her, a considering expression on his face. "Yes, I suppose so. Nothing is wasted if you learn from it." He sighed then. "I just wish that not _all _the lessons had to hurt so much, ya know?"

Mika chuckled then. "Unfortunately, we only seem to truly take to heart the lessons that hurt - if it's easy, we don't notice it, or appreciate it. Ningen and Youkai alike, we are stubborn."

Kagome had been quiet for some time, and she had heard most of what was being said by the two people standing there speaking. It made her extremely curious, but other things had also gotten her attention.

She had noticed the barrier around herself, and wondered what it was - she could tell it was coming from her, but not how she had done it. She sighed, inside. Another thing she couldn't remember. Obviously, since the two standing just beyond it weren't concerned or worried, it was because they were aware she _could_ do things like this, meaning it was another thing she'd forgotten.

_I wonder just how much stuff I've lost. It must have been an interesting three years that I'm missing, if this is one of the things I learned to do. Maybe I'll just ask._

She let out a deep breath, and finally pulled herself back up onto her knees. As she did so, the shield dropped, and she turned her head and looked at the two standing there. She could ask about what they had been talking about later - right now, she wanted to find out what that power was.

It was time to get some answers, and they _would _be giving them, whether they wanted to or not.

She started when her mother stepped out of the door to the house, calling out that breakfast was ready, and then got to her feet, the lure of food too great to ignore.

She could wait to corner everyone until_ after _breakfast. Right now, she was hungry.

---cCc---

Breakfast was uncomfortable. Everyone kept their eyes to themselves, not wanting to upset Kagome, and the sense of an unnatural calm, like the eye of a hurricane, filled the room. It was only a matter of time before the tension exploded, and they all knew it. It was just hoped that the damage could be contained.

Kagome herself was the only one that didn't seem to notice the tension - she was lost in her own world, and Yasha especially wondered what she was thinking.

With his luck lately, it was probably nothing good.

Mika kept an eye on Kagome throughout the meal, without really looking at her. She didn't want to set her off by staring, but she didn't want to miss any possible signs of imminent trouble, either. So far, so good. The girl was calm, and quiet, concentrating on her food, and not much else.

Once she was done, Kagome stood, and ignoring those still eating, placed her plate in the sink and then moved to leave the kitchen. She stopped in the doorway, and without turning around, said, "I have a lot of questions. When you are all done, I'll be in my room. I expect some answers."

She disappeared through the doorway without waiting for anyone to speak.

Aiko stared at the doorway, eyebrows raised. It was obvious that, while Kagome might not remember things form the last three years, her personality was still working on the assumption of those memories, because the Kagome that had just spoken was _not _the Kagome of three years ago. The Kagome that had just spoken expected to be obeyed.

She glanced at Mika. With a tilt of her head, she indicated the woman that had just left. "Is that normal? I mean, I had always thought that when a person lost their memories like this, you know, lost a certain amount of time, that their personalities reverted, too."

Mika shook her head as everyone looked at her. "Sometimes, yes, but not always. It really depends on the person, and the circumstances. And especially in this situation, I'm not at all surprised that she's still acting as herself, _now_, as opposed to herself, _then. _ This is due, after all, to shock. Basically, her mind has wrapped itself in wool and put itself in the closet for a brief break, that's all. It's a _very _temporary situation - in fact, I wouldn't be surprised to find that she'd already had a few flashes of memories come through."

Hikari looked at his daughter-in-law, and shook his head with a sigh. "Following the will of the kami is never an easy path to follow, Aiko, you know that. Kagome will find her way back to us, and she will be a better person for it. We just have to have patience - and realize that no matter how much we all think _we _are suffering, hers is much greater."

Aiko nodded. "I know." She smiled over at Yasha. "It isn't just her, though, you know. Yasha is in this just as deep as she is, in a different way - and we all need to support him through this as well."

He snorted, tossing a glance at the younger male. "I'm aware that Inuyasha did what the kami needed him to do by sending Kagome home - but I won't soon forgive the _way_ he did it. He couldn't have done worse if he'd tried. If I could get my hands on him I'd plaster that boy in extra-strength sutras from head to toe."

"Yes, but, father, Yasha isn't responsible for _Inuyasha's _actions, and you know it. Are you responsible for the actions of your own past incarnations? Agreed, there is an overall culpability of the soul, but that's all, and I would expect you of all people, shrine priest, to understand that." Her voice had taken on a disappointed tone, and Hikari flushed and ducked his head, mumbling. No one liked it when Aiko got upset.

Yasha lowered his gaze to the floor and stood, bowing. "He's right. Inuyasha fucked things up, and I'm carrying that burden. He's not the only one that wishes he could get his hands on the bastard, unfortunately, we can't. All we can do now is pick up the pieces and work with what the kami have left us." Turning on his heel, he walked out to the living room to wait for the rest of them to finish.

Mika sighed, sending a reproachful glance to the old man. "Yasha loves her, Hikari. If it had been Yasha back in the past with her instead of _Inu_yasha, things would have turned out very differently. You cannot blame him for the fate that the kami decreed for them."

"Maybe not. But there is fate, and the kami... and then there is free will. No one made Inuyasha do things the _way_ he did, but he himself. _That's _my problem with the boy. Not what he did, but _how _he did it. And as for Yasha - I'm keeping my eye on him. I do believe, from what I've seen, that he loves her - but just because he loves her doesn't mean he won't hurt her."

He stood and left the room, stoic, and determined to guard his granddaughter as much as possible. He would never attempt to thwart the will of the kami, but he could and _would_ try to cushion the shock for Kagome's sake.

As far as he was concerned, she deserved all the help she could get.

---cCc---

Kagome sat at her desk in her room, and turned on her stereo. She felt like listening to a little music while waiting for the others to finish their breakfast and come up to her room. Unfortunately, since it appeared that she'd forgotten the last three years, she had no idea what music was out there. Looking through the cd's sitting on her desk, she picked one at random and put it in, waiting to see what came out.

As the music came on and surrounded her, she stood and wandered over to the window for a moment. A frown crossed her face as a flash of red and silver passed through her mind - a memory fragment triggered by her window. What could it mean? Frowning, she searched through her mind, but that was all she could get... something about a male, wearing red and with silver hair, and her window.

Even though she couldn't get anymore out of her memory, a feeling flashed through her, brought about by the visual in her mind - a feeling of pain, and _betrayal, _and loss_._ And then something else registered - these feelings were tied to the handsome guy sitting downstairs in her kitchen - the one who'd said he'd been her husband in another life, and would be in this life as well, someday.

She'd not thought of denying his words, or calling him crazy - something inside had known he was speaking the truth... but not near _all _of the truth. There was much he wasn't saying, and she knew it. Whatever he was hiding, had something to do with the other male - the one in red. But what? What could it be that he was so secretive about?

Did it have to do with the emotional shock that had caused her to lose her memory in the first place?

Shaking her head in frustration, she looked around her room, noting the mess she'd made earlier, and with a sigh, she began to clean it up, absently thinking that she should try on all these clothes at some point to see what she looked like in them.

_How absurd... here I am thinking about clothes, when I've lost my entire memory of the last almost three years of my life. Isn't it funny how the mind reverts to small issues when faced with too much stress?_

Picking up one shirt that had landed haphazardly on top of a couple of books, she spotted a dog-eared copy of one of her favorites... The Lord of the Rings, and smiled slightly. She remembered the first time she'd read it - even then, the englishman who'd written it, in his description of 'elves', had instantly made her think of her grandfather's tales of 'youkai'. Two different worlds - and yet, both containing descriptions of supposedly mythical beings that were so similar, she'd wondered if maybe, just_ maybe_, those beings were _real_, and had been seen by the tellers of these tales.

Mind lost in the book, it automatically pulled out one of the poems in it that she'd loved the best.

The one about Aragorn, son of Arathorn, a golden king hidden amongst the dross, and bound by a promise to a beautiful lady of the race of elves.

_All that is gold does not glitter,_

_Not all who wander are lost._

For some reason, that boy's gold eyes flashed into her mind.

_Gold... _

Silver and gold, and blue jagged markings writhing across someones cheeks, and wandering - searching for something that was always just out of reach.

That was it - she'd spent a lot of the time of her forgotten past searching for something... but what? No matter how she poked and pried, nothing would come.

Damn, this was frustrating the life out of her!

"Okay, those people need to finish eating already and get up here... I'm starting to drive myself crazy with my thoughts," she mumbled, beginning to get annoyed. "How long does it take to eat?"

Moving back over to the stereo she shut it off, and sat down and waited for her mother and the other two to come in... she could hear them coming up the stairs, and figured it was about time.

She wanted answers - and they had them. She wouldn't tolerate lies... she wanted to know what they knew - after all, it was _her _past that was at issue here, so she had every right to know what had happened to her in it.

And to hell with them if they refused to tell her. She'd find out one way or another.

She'd left her door slightly ajar, and quietly bid them enter when her mother knocked. She kept her face impassive as she watched them file in, and motioned for the three of them to take a seat. Her mother and the woman, Mika, sat on her bed, while Yasha, the golden-eyed man she both knew, and didn't know, plopped down on her floor near her window.

Frowning slightly at that, as another quick flash of the red and silver boy ran through her mind, sitting in the same spot and in the same position, but holding what looked like a _sword _caught her attention.

_Him, and yet not. What could it mean?_

It was still silent, and finally, she dragged her attention from her memory flash to the people now in her room. Looking up at her mother, she said, "Alright. I want to know what I've been searching for for the last three years - and why I keep seeing a guy that looks kinda like him," she gestured at Yasha, "but wearing red and carrying a sword, in my room here. A guy with ears like a dog."

Mika caught Aiko's gaze. "That's what I meant. Already, some things are coming back to her."

"Yeah, but not enough. I'm warning all of you right now," she stared suspiciously at Yasha's sudden pained expression at the mention of the dog-eared boy, "I won't tolerate being lied to. I want answers, and I intend to get them." She caught each person's gaze, letting them know she meant what she said.

"So, who's gonna start?"

---cCc---

Sesshoumaru sat hidden and well out of sight, but within hearing distance, at least, for him. He wanted to know exactly what was going on, but did _not _want to make things worse. It probably wouldn't be a good thing for her to see him before she had the rest of her memory back - otherwise, all she'd know of him was the enemy he had once been to her... and not the allies that they had become.

While they'd never been friendly, he_ had _come to respect her, and she had also shown him a great deal of respect as well... something that had pissed his idiot sibling off to no end. He hadn't liked Kagome showing any kind of decency to him - funny, how it ended up being him showing her more respect and caring than the hanyou she'd loved ever had.

The fates, he'd found, had a very ironic sense of humor.

He listened, amused, as she laid it out for the people in her room. It would be vastly entertaining to see how his daughter handled the younger woman - Mika had never been one to bow easily to another person's will, but he suspected that she'd met her match for stubborness in the person of the miko. There were times she'd even managed to be more stubborn than he, himself... and that, in and of itself, garnered his respect - no one else had ever even come close to his levels of determination, except her.

Well, at least, until Yasha had come along. That boy was far more stubborn than even his half-brother had been - when he decided he wanted something, he went after it with a single-mindedness that the kami themselves probably admired.

He chuckled, then.

The interactions between his daughter, the miko, and Yasha were bound to keep him occupied and amused for months to come.

He listened eagerly as she basically told them she knew she'd been involved in a search of some kind, and that she'd had flashes of memories of his brother... and sat back in the tree, getting comfortable.

This was going to be interesting... and it had just begun. He had the feeling this talk was going to take a while.

He wondered who would speak first.

---cCc---

A/N: Whew! Wasn't sure I was going to get anything decent out at this point - reality kicked my ass the last few days, and I haven't had much time for anything else. Hopefully, this chapter wasn't too bad, because I'm too tired to be sure. LOL! Anyway, just to be safe, I don't own any rights to Lord of the Rings, or any of the poetry contained within - it just struck me as very fitting - all that is gold does not glitter... so I had to put it in. Anyway, hope everyone enjoys the new chapter, and I'm trying my hardest to catch back up so that I can post another chapter tomorrow - keep your fingers crossed, everyone!

Ja Ne...

Amber


	9. White Lies

**Chapter 8: White Lies**

Yasha stared up at Mika, who in turn looked over at Aiko. They were all a bit stunned at her demands - _but really_, Yasha thought, _we shouldn't be_. Sighing, he shook his head, and dropped his shielding spell, waiting for her reaction.

He wasn't disappointed.

She inhaled sharply as she caught sight of him, sitting in that same spot beneath her window, his features suddenly changing as those same dog-ears she'd seen on the red-clothed boy appeared, along with jagged blue stripes sitting high on his cheeks. Eyes wide, she dropped to her knees from the chair, and scooted forward, vision fixed on those soft looking ears, and reached out a hand to feel them.

Yasha looked a bit disgruntled as he growled, "It's always the ears with her. Last time, _and_ this time."

She pulled her hands back quickly at that, flushing a bright red. "Sorry!" she squeaked. "I couldn't help it, they just look so kawaii!"

He rolled his eyes as her mother giggled and Mika laughed lightly. "Yeah, yeah, wench, I know. You always react like this over the ears, so don't worry about it."

"So..." she trailed off, eyes once again being drawn to the ears, "what are you?"

"Inu-hanyou. Mika over there is a full inu-youkai."

She sat back, astounded. _And wasn't I just wondering about the tales of elves and youkai? Guess I wasn't far off - they _are_ real!_

"So when in the last three years did I discover the reality of your race?"

He tilted a brow at her. _Smart girl... she always was - even back then, when Inuyasha was too much a fool to notice. Glad I'm not quite so dense. _"On your fifteenth birthday."

She looked down at the floor thoughtfully, a slight frown crossing her face.

"And how did it happen? Was it you that I met?"

She missed the once-again pained expression that crossed his face since she was still staring at the floor. He glanced at Mika, wondering what to tell her.

"No, it wasn't Yasha, but one greatly like him. He is the one you see in the red." She watched Kagome's face intently. "His name was Inuyasha. Yasha was named for him."

At the utterance of that name, she felt the same set of emotions as she had when she'd seen him in her minds eye - pain, betrayal, and loss. What part had this Inuyasha played in whatever horror had cost her her memory?

And even more, what part did Yasha play in this mess? Because she could tell - there were layers of meaning here, and nothing was as simple as the few answers they were giving... he had a large part in this story - but what was it?

Why was it that they wouldn't just outright tell her what was going on? Were they protecting her, or themselves?

So many questions - and almost no answers.

"So? How did I find out about the existence of youkai?"

Aiko, who'd been sitting quietly up 'til now, finally spoke. "That's not so easy to answer, Kagome. You wouldn't believe us if we told you - at least, not until you'd already gotten your memory back. There's just some things we can't tell you, you have to remember them on your own."

She growled at that. "So what's the point of even listening to any of you? Can't tell me, or _won't_ tell me - it makes no difference, because it all comes down to you all hiding things from me, and even the answers you _do_ give are couched in generalities and half-truths. I'm beginning to get the idea that maybe I don't _want_ to remember, and that I most certainly _don't _want anything to do with you people at all."

Yasha narrowed his eyes at her, an answering growl spilling from deep in his chest. "Things aren't that easy, Kagome! Aren't you using your head? Think about it! Obviously, your mind shut your memories off for a _reason_, that reason being that you couldn't handle what was happening around you at the time - your mind needed some time to come to terms with things! So telling you all about it now would accomplish what? You going catatonic to get away from the heaviness of those memories? Sounds counter-productive to me!"

She stared at him, then caught the surprised looks on her mother's and Mika's faces. Apparently, they agreed with him.

"Then why are you even here?" She turned to look at Mika. "And you. Who are you exactly?"

Mika shared a glance with Yasha, then sighed, and turned to look at Kagome. "I'm a psychologist and an MD. I'm related to Yasha, and when you collapsed originally, _before_ you lost your memory, they asked me to come make sure you were ok. You weren't. I gave you something to calm you down - and when you woke... you were like this. No memory."

Kagome stared at her, and _knew _that she was only telling part of the truth. Another white lie, so to speak. There was a large something or other in there that she was trying to gloss over.

"That may be so, but I'm no fool, _Doctor_," she said, sarcastically, "and I'm well aware that there's something you're not telling me. There's more to this story than that - and I can guarantee you, when I remember what happened on my own, I'm going to be _pissed_ that I've been being lied to, so keep it mind."

"Kagome!" Aiko stared at her daughter, unsure where her manners had gone. "I know you're angry about this, but there is no call to be rude, daughter."

A soft laugh met her ears then, and her daughter fixed her with a knowing glare. "Isn't there, _mother_? Tell me... exactly what do I have to be polite about?" she asked, voice soft, yet deadly. "I've lost three years of my life, I'm being led around by the nose and lied to, and those that I should be able to trust, like _family_, are doing nothing to help me. Respect is earned - and no one has earned _anything _from me at this point."

She stood up and walked out her bedroom door. "I'm done talking to you people right now. When and if any of you decide to let me in on the big damn secrets around here, let me know. Until then, stay away from me."

Aiko flushed angrily, and stood to go after her daughter, but Mika grabbed her arm, and shook her head.

"Let her go, Aiko. Don't be angry at her. She's fighting for her sanity, here, and to her, at this time, if you are not helping, then you are an enemy. She can't help it, and getting mad at her won't do anything but further erode her trust."

She sighed, shoulders slumping a bit. "I know, Mika. I guess I'm just having a hard time accepting this." She glanced over at a silent Yasha, noting his distant gaze. "I'm sorry, Yasha. I know this is hard for you, too."

He re-focused in on her, taking a moment to realize what she'd said.

"Oh... yeah, well... I guess this is the price I have to pay for being stupid beyond belief in my last life."

He chuckled sadly. "Hopefully, paying off that debt won't take up all of _this _life. I don't think I could stand it if I had to wait 'til the _next _life to finally have her again."

---cCc---

Kagome stomped down the stairs and out of the house, wanting nothing more than to get away from everything and everyone that seemed to be taunting her with the fact that _they_ knew more of her life than she did. That wasn't right. But apparently, they felt that they had the right to make those decisions for her... it felt like they were saying that she couldn't take care of herself - that she was helpless and useless.

As she thought that, another memory flashed through her - one of the red-clad male telling her she needed someone watching her all the time because she couldn't be trusted to take care of herself... unlike _Kikyou._ She gasped out loud at the pain that filled her entire being when that name speared through her mind.

That was it - all of this had to do with some woman named Kikyou, and that boy named Inuyasha. Somehow, she was tied up with those two... and those ties were the cause of her pain. But who were they? And what was it about this situation that her mother had said she wouldn't believe if she was told?

Wandering blindly towards the Goshinboku, she wondered at the feelings the two names evoked within her. It was confusing, to say the least. The woman's name brought feelings of inferiority, pain, and anger - mixed with some hatred as well. But what was even more confusing was that those emotions, especially the hatred, felt as though she was aiming them at_ herself_. How could that be?

As for the male... that was even more confusing. She felt pain, betrayal, anger, hatred... and love. How do you hate someone, but yet love them at the same time? The most heartbreaking thing, is that somehow, and she wasn't sure how, she knew that the male and the female were both dead.

That, however, was the only thing she was sure of... and the most confusing part of all of it was that when her mind conjured the boy in red, that Mika had said was named Inuyasha, she saw Yasha, as though he was overlaid over the other male... like they were the same, but not.

Putting a hand to her head, eyes closing, she sighed, a mournful, forlorn sound. Her thoughts were so scattered, and she was so tired...

Opening her eyes, she moved to the tree, and clambering over the little white picket fence, she moved around to the side away from the rest of the shrine and the house, and curled up amongst the roots of the tree... somehow comforted by the aura of acceptance that she'd always felt when near the sacred tree.

Somehow, she knew that the tree would protect her - even when no one else would. Here, she was safe.

Her eyes closing of their own accord, she sighed, and drifted off into a deep sleep - calm and at peace for the first time in almost two weeks if she had but known it.

She was completely unaware of two sets of golden eyes watching over her as she slept - determination to keep her safe running through both... but much more strongly in one than in the other.

Yasha would not let another hurt her as Inuyasha had. His time was done, and Kagome had come back to where she was supposed to be. There was nothing he could do to take away the pain still to come as her memories came back - but be damned if he'd allow anyone else to hurt her further.

Not him, not Mika, not his parents, Sesshoumaru, nor her mother or brother or grandfather.

No one.

---cCc---

Sesshoumaru watched her sleeping peacefully for a time, well aware of his nephew's presence, and then, with a sigh, decided that she was safe enough for the moment, and using his orb, took off. He needed to get home, and think things through.

There were... circumstances that the others were unaware of - including his nephew. Things that Inuyasha had spoken to him of, and had requested of him. Inuyasha had not wanted anyone to know - not even himself in his next incarnation, and had asked, for that reason, that the last meeting between them be erased from his memory.

Sesshoumaru remembered clearly his reaction to his brother's request for a meeting - the only reason he had actually agreed to meet him was curiosity, nothing more. However, when he'd heard the _reasons _behind his brother seeking a meeting with him, he had reluctantly agreed to his brother's request, then wiped his memory, and left him asleep beneath the great tree... in almost the same spot that the miko was in almost two hundred years later.

He had been angry when Inuyasha had told him the tale of the final hours of the miko's stay in their era - of the way he had treated her, and how he had sent her home. Even knowing that what he had done had been right, he had called him coward for the _way_ it had been done - and had made his dislike for his brother's mate quite clear.

It had always amazed him that this miko, Kagome, was the reincarnation of the other one. He had never liked Kikyou... and yet, he did like Kagome. She, at least, had honor, and he was sure that she would never have done to another what had been done to her.

Thoughts breaking off as he arrived home, he thought back to his promise to his brother.

For honor's sake, he would keep his word - Kagome had honor in abundance, and it had shown in everything she had done five hundred years ago. He would not fail her now.

He would be the first to tell you he wasn't doing it for Inuyasha. He had only agreed for Kagome's sake.

He would meet honor with honor.

When the miko was ready, he would tell her all the things that Inuyasha had never been able to say.

And then he would restore to her the only part of her past that he could.

The only thing that time had not taken away.

---cCc---

When Kagome woke, she sat up, and stretching, smiled. For the first time since this nightmare had started, she felt at peace. Apparently, during her sleep, her mind had come to some conclusions, and as she thought over them, she nodded firmly to herself. She would make her own decisions, and to hell with her mother and the others trying to take her right to do so away.

Technically, her mother still had control, since she wasn't yet eighteen, but it was only a matter of time, and Kagome wasn't going to let her mother force her into anything at this point.

Standing, she patted the great tree, and once again stepping over the fence around it, she moved towards the house, steps firm and chin held high. This was her life, and be damned if they would run it anymore.

Yasha watched her walk into the house and knew shit was about to hit the fan, so he hopped into her window and acted as though he'd been inside the house all along - it wouldn't do to let her know he was following her, at this point, she'd only get angry. He made his way quietly down the stairs as she cornered her mother and Mika in the kitchen, and as he walked in, she pointed at him, and then at the other two.

"All of you, listen up. Since none of you are forthcoming about what's been happening to me, I will just wait for my memory to come back on its own. However, you all will leave me alone. Once my memory is back, I will deal with you three, but until then, I'll just assist gramps with the shrine. I don't want any interference from any of you."

Aiko shook her head. "Kagome, the reason Mika is here is to help you, but she can't do that unless you talk to her."

Kagome laughed at that. "And what the hell am I supposed to talk to her _about? _ Seems to me you all know more than I do about my past and what's causing me harm, so it should be you guys talking to me - but since that isn't happening I don't have anything to say to any of you."

"Well, as you remember things, you can talk to me, I can help you deal with the memories as they come - and the emotions that will be triggered by remembering. This isn't something that you should be trying to face on your own, Kagome." Mika was firm, the girl needed their help, now she just had to be persuaded to accept it.

Yasha held his breath, knowing that this wasn't going to go the way Mika and Aiko wanted it. Kagome had that stubborn look he knew all to well - from this life _and_ the last one.

"Sorry, but I have no reason to trust you, and every reason not to. I mean what I say. Come around as you please, but it will be a waste of time for you, because I simply won't talk to you." Kagome held her gaze for a moment, letting her know she meant exactly what she said, then moved her gaze to her mother.

"I will still help around the house and carry out my responsibilties in the family - but that is all. For now, treat me as you would a roommate."

Glancing last at Yasha, she frowned then, a stern look passing across her face. "As for you? Stop following me - don't think I don't know you're there. I'm nothing to any of you, understand? Just leave me alone." Turning on her heel, she left a very shocked threesome standing in the kitchen.

Aiko stared wide-eyed at the doorway her daughter had disappeared through. "What do we do now?"

Yasha growled. "We do what she said. And hope that she remembers things soon, and understands why we couldn't really answer her questions."

Mika nodded. "It's the only thing we really can do - let her come to us. At some point, she will, I'm sure. Trying to force her at this point, however, would only be counter-productive. So... we wait."

_I hope to kami I'm doing the right thing, because I can't think of anything else to do.  
_


	10. Devil's Advocate

**Chapter 9: Devil's Advocate**

"So where do you want me to put this, gramps?"

The old man looked up from the scroll he was reading, and considered the box she was holding carefully. Finally, just as she was getting ready to put it down, he tilted his head at the shelf behind her.

"Put it there, second shelf, on the side nearest the door, granddaughter. That way it is easily accessible." As she turned to do as he'd bid, he cast a sharp glance her way. It had been almost two weeks since she'd told Aiko and the others to leave her alone, and in all that time, she'd barely spoken - even to her mother.

He and Sota, on the other hand, she'd had no problems with, and she'd spent most of her days with him in the shrine helping him out. He had to say, the help was welcome, however, things seemed to be at a stalemate with her recovery, and he felt it was time to start prodding her - just a bit.

While most of his sympathy lay with her, he knew that she needed to work out all of the frustrations that she was feeling over the others refusals to tell her the things she wanted to know. He knew for a fact that her memory had started returning, and that most of what was left for her to remember was the main facts of the story - and placing all the momories in the right order, and time frames.

All things he could help with.

On the other hand, he knew his granddaughter, and he knew how she was feeling at this point, as well as just how to get her to see things the right way up. The others had all tried_ forcing _her to see their side of the story - but the best way to do it was to let her ask questions, answer, then let her say what she felt about it. At that point, he could question _her_ and give another perspective - leading to her getting both sides of the story.

Sneaky, and definitely round-about, but it was the only way to get Kagome to not only see things from the other side, but not get combative about it when she finally realized that she had been wrong about the situation.

And as much as he did sympathize with her on the situation she found herself in, as he'd told his daughter-in-law and the others that day two weeks ago, it wasn't _what _had been done to her, but _how _it had been done. In all fairness, he felt that what Inuyasha had told her had been correct - she_ did _belong here, with Yasha, not five hundred years in the past with Inuyasha.

It was time to get her to begin the path to understanding that.

It wasn't going to be quick, and it wasn't going to be easy, but it had to be done.

Then there was the other part - the severe inferiority complex she had over her past incarnation. She would have to come to terms with things as they were - and learn not to fear being who she was, is, and always will be.

One soul... many lives. Not one any better or more important than any of the others - just more 'mature', so to speak.

He sighed, then. There was a _long _road ahead of them, and it wasn't getting any shorter. Time to stop thinking...

It was time to start doing.

He chuckled internally as his stomach growled.

Right after lunch.

---cCc---

"So, granddaughter... tell me. What do you think of that young man - what was his name again... Yasha. Yes, that was it." Hikari kept his gaze on what he was doing, acting casual about his words.

Kagome stopped what she was doing for a moment, but didn't look at her grandfather. This was the first time he'd brought up the situation, directly or indirectly, and because of that, it didn't occur to her to refuse to answer.

She still trusted him, unlike her mother at this point.

"Well... I'm not sure. It's all so confusing, you know? I won't lie," she said, finally looking down at her hands for a moment, "I find him _beyond_ attractive... but for some reason, I can't bring myself to trust him fully. Not like I think he's gonna physically harm me or steal anything from the shrine - not like that, but... there's some major, I don't know," she sounded frustrated, "_thing_ that lies between us, and I feel that I can't allow him to get anywhere near me - for my own sanity's sake."

Hikari nodded. "And do you have _any _idea why you feel that way?"

"I... I think so," she said, hesitantly. "Actually, I'm pretty sure it has something to do with that Inuyasha person they told me about - and that woman named Kikyou. What I'm missing is what links Yasha to them."

He met Kagome's gaze straight on a that. "And what do you think is _your _link to Inuyasha and Kikyou?"

Kagome sighed, once again looking at her hands as she fidgeted with them. She wouldn't meet his gaze. Finally, she said, "I was in love with Inuyasha, wasn't I? And he was in love with that other woman. He left me for her. And now they're both dead."

Hikari nodded his head, and turned, looking down at the artifacts on the table before him. "So you have remembered that much, have you? It seems that there are only a few things left for you to remember, child." Casting a glance back at her over his shoulder, he asked, "Have you figured out, then, why your mother and Yasha - and Mika were concerned, not wanting to tell you of these things?"

She started to flush with annoyance, and opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, he interrupted.

"Tell me, child. If you were in your mother's shoes, and you had a daughter that had just gone through something so traumatic that she had lost her memory, and then wanted to be told of it too soon before she had been given the chance to just _be, _so she could begin to heal, what would you choose to do?"

She lifted her head, opening her mouth to respond, but then blinked, and closed her mouth again, unsure of what to say. What _would _she do?

She frowned at herself as she thought about it.

_I would do what I thought was best, that's what. But just because I thought it was best, wouldn't mean I was right - and my daughter would probably be mad at me, too. Just like I got with Mama._

She felt a bit ashamed of herself, then, and Hikari nodded to himself as he caught her expression. As hard as what she was going through was, there was no point in taking things out on people that had done nothing wrong. He may not really like the way Aiko and the others had been dealing with things, but the truth was, who knew which way was right in this situation? He was pretty sure no one had ever had to deal with anything like this before - so it was uncharted territory - for all of them.

It was time that Kagome began to understand that her family - and that included the Taisho's, were not trying to harm her, but to help her. They all had to work together on this, or she would never be able to heal fully.

While he might find it a bit annoying that the kami had ordained his granddaughter to be with a youkai - or even part of one, he wouldn't argue... and as time went on, Kagome would find it harder and harder to resist Yasha. That was the way it should be - it was time she started spending a little bit of time around the boy. That closeness would help when she finally remembered the rest of what had happened.

"What did Yasha tell you was his relationship to you? Or has he spoken of such yet?"

She shook her head to clear it of her thoughts, and concentrated on what he was asking her. "What?"

"The boy. Did you ask him who he was to you... why he was here in the first place?"

"Oh! Uh... yeah." She blushed and looked away, once again taking up the duster she'd dropped to go to lunch, and began going over the shelves absently with it.

"Well?" He rolled his eyes - getting the girl to talk was like pulling teeth. Definitely not usual for her... normally she was a chatterbox.

She coughed, embarrassed and confused. "He said that he was my husband in a past life - and that he would be in this life, too... that it was fated by the kami." She shook her head. "But I don't want to marry someone just because the kami said so, gramps! I want to choose for myself!"

Hikari chuckled, turning to look at her, he gave her an amused wink. "Child, just because the kami know who you are going to be with in each life doesn't mean they are taking the choice away from you - it just means that they know who you are going to choose. Tell me. When you take Sota to the store and offer him his choice of pocky - you know he's going to choose the strawberry, right?" At her nod, he continued. "Does that mean, then, that you made the choice for him, just because you knew he would choose so?"

Eyes wide, she stared at him, then turned her head and stared out the door, and into the distance.

_I... never thought of it that way. Have I been acting like a fool? And yet, even though he's right - my heart still tells me that there is one main piece to this puzzle that I am not seeing yet - and that it's one I need to know before I can just trust everyone again._

_This is still so confusing... _

_I guess I have a lot to think about._

"I guess I see your point, gramps, but I still feel something inside me telling me to hold back - there's something else, something important, that I need to know. I think... that it's _this _one thing that caused me the most grief, and until I remember it, things are going to stay in limbo."

Hikari looked down for a moment, then back up, turning his gaze out to the sacred tree, he said, "All the answers that you need are inside you, child. Do not look to others for them - because no one else can tell you what's in your _soul." _He laid a peculiar emphasis on the last word, and it echoed loudly inside her.

_My soul... is it there that my answers are to be found? _

Her eyes lost focus on her surroundings as she lost herself in thought, and Hikari nodded to himself. He'd said what he could - the rest was up to her.

"Go, granddaughter. Take some time, sit beneath Goshinboku, and meditate. Let the peace of the sacred tree envelop you, and help you find your answers. I can finish here alone today."

She smiled uncertainly at him, setting the duster down, she asked, "Are you sure, gramps?"

He made a shooing motion with his hands and smiled back at her. "Yes, child, I'm sure. Finding the beginning of your path is far more important than dusting right now. When you have found some of your answers, come back and talk to me - use me as a sounding board, or even just to rant about whatever upsets you."

"Thank you, grandfather." She bowed formally, giving him all the respect he was due as her elder, her family, and the priest of the shrine, then turned and moved away, heading for the sacred tree as he'd bid her to do.

_I'm glad he's so wise - even if I've never really paid attention 'til now. I just wish mama had done what he's doing... it would have made things easier for me to understand._

_I guess I'm one of those that you can lead to water, but you can't make drink._

She shook her head ruefully at herself.

_Too stubborn, I guess. Just like the rest of this family._

_---_cCc---

Yasha had watched and listened to everything the old man had said, and he had to admit, his respect for the old guy had just gone _way _up. He knew just how to handle Kagome to get her to listen, and _think_, considering the other side of the story, rather than shutting her mind and heart to anything other than her _own_ side of things.

He was gonna have a talk with Mika about this. It looked like she wouldn't be needed as much... the old man could get through to Kagome a lot faster than any of the rest of them. At this rate, the only thing that they might need her help with was basically couples counseling... but that wouldn't come until Kagome had remembered everything, and come to accept what had happened in the past, and _herself_, fully.

Until then, he was perfectly content to let her grandfather handle her.

He chuckled for a moment. It was a good thing that he'd learned to control his aura and his youki completely, because otherwise, Kagome would probably have killed him. She'd told him to stop hovering around and following her... as if _that_ was gonna happen.

He'd been waiting for years to finally be the _only _one following her around, and be damned if he was going to give that up now that Inuyasha was gone for good. He'd hated having to hide not only from her, but his past self as well - and stand around knowing that it was someone other than him that was watching over her, spending time with her, and caring for her. Loving her.

Because, as much as Inuyasha had belonged to Kikyou, he had loved Kagome just as much. It was there, in all his memories. It had truly frustrated and confused him, trying to figure out which one he wanted to be with, and he'd never have been able to choose if the realities of the situation hadn't been brought to his attention.

The thing was, he would never have agreed to let her go to anyone else. The _only _reason that he had agreed to give her up in the end was because he knew that he was giving her up to himself, when you got right down to it. A stronger, smarter version, true, but still, himself. That's why he'd told her that '_he _would be waiting for her'. He'd meant just that.

If it had been anyone else that they wanted him to let her go to... it wouldn't have happened. He'd have killed someone first.

Sometimes, he had to admit, the whole thing was confusing to him, too. But he no longer fought it... after all, he'd had _years _to get used to it, and think about it, and he pretty much understood the whole thing as well as anyone could. Kagome, on the other hand, had basically had the whole thing dropped in her lap, and _her _preincarnation had really been a bitch about the whole thing - because she'd been too stupid to realize that, in the end, she was only hurting herself.

Kikyou really hadn't been all that bright, and Inuyasha had finally figured that out. She'd also had a bit of a mean streak, and it was that that finally had gotten him to understand that she had a long way to go to become the beautiful person that Kagome was inside.

It took a while, and a lot of harsh lessons for Kikyou, but by the time of her death, she had changed greatly, and figured out just how badly she'd messed things up. She had admitted that she felt a fool... and wished she could change her actions towards Kagome.

Too little, too late, as it turned out. But, bottom line, Kagome had to finally, once and for all, forgive _herself._

That's what it all boiled down to. She had a different personality in this life, and that was all well and good, but if she didn't figure it out, her soul would remain split inside her for the rest of this life...

And that was just not acceptable.

He looked up at the sky ruefully.

_Why couldn't all you Kami in all your supposed wisdom make this reincarnation thing a little easier to understand... and accept?_

He shook his head at that thought. Nothing was _ever_ easy when it came to dealing with the gods.

_Reality sucks sometimes. Actually, lately, it sucks _most _of the time._

---cCc---

Kagome was silent for the rest of that day, obviously lost in her thoughts. Everyone gave her a wide berth, and left her to it, after Hikari had gotten ahold of her mother and told her to keep everyone away from her.

Whatever the case, Kagome was glad of it, and after dinner, she gave her brother an absent pat on the head, then nodded quietly to everyone before heading upstairs to her room. There was so much swirling around inside her that she couldn't really concentrate on anything else.

For some reason, tonight she felt... lonely. Not just lonely - she felt _alone._ Anyone with any experience could tell you that they were two different things. With a deep, poignant sigh, she sat down in her window, and stared out at the night sky.

Wrapping her arms around herself, the pathetic thought that she had no one to wrap their arms around her passed through her mind.

She chuckled at herself, a hollow, cold sound that fractured the sense of peace that had surrounded her for most of the day. She couldn't help the sense of sadness that rolled over her then - even though she didn't know where the feelings were coming from at this point, it didn't seem to matter.

It was like being plunged into icy water, as depression set in, and she knew that something inside her was getting ready to break open. It seemed that whatever secrets her mind had been hiding from her were about to be revealed...

If they were so bad that she felt this horrible before her mind even woke up, she wasn't sure she even wanted to remember.

She was just plain tired of hurting.

_Too bad..._

Something dark and malicious echoed through her, and she shivered then.

_Something wicked this way comes..._

---cCc---

_A/N: _For some reason, my edit/preview document function isn't working all that great, so if anyone notices mistakes in this chapter, i.e. words running together and the like, please excuse. I think I got most of the little suckers, but just in case...

Amber


	11. The Other Side of the Soul

**Chapter 10: The Other Side of the Soul**

Yasha sighed, then rolled his eyes, knowing that what he was about to do was necessary, but still finding it annoying. He was an adult... and he'd lived with this situation all his life, so it felt funny to just now be talking about it with Mika. He felt like a fool - as though he was being considered to weak to figure things out on his own.

That wasn't the way things were, however, and inside, he knew that. Besides... once Kagome remembered everything, they'd be needing to work with Mika anyway. They just had too much between them to work out for him to want to waste time doing it alone. They probably could do so, but it would take a hell of a lot longer, and he was tired of waiting. He just wanted to get this whole mess settled.

So, he found himself sitting in Mika's office, waiting for the first of many visits with her, and he wondered idly... what would her first question to him be? Knowing her, she'd start at the beginning - the _very _beginning. Of this life, at least. With another sigh, he began to cast his mind back, preparing himself for the journey through his memories that was about to take place.

---cCc---

Mika watched Yasha as he walked into the room and sat down, a considering look on her face. She could see the apprehension on his features, and wondered what he was worried about. Tilting her head, she waited 'til he was seated, then asked, "Why are you worried, Yasha? I can feel it in your aura."

Yasha blinked. That wasn't what he'd thought her first question would be, and he chuckled. Shaking his head with amusement, he sighed.

"There's nothing wrong, per say, it's just... while my life, and past life, have always been known to everyone, in general, I've never really spoken of it in detail with anyone before. It's... odd. How many people do you know who have most of the memories from their last life intact? Or find themselves in the situation that Kagome and I are in?"

Mika chuckled as well when she heard his words. "Indeed, Yasha. Your case is certainly unique. But tell me... what are your _real_ feelings for Kagome? Do you love her because of Inuyasha's memories in you of Kikyou? Or do you love her because of _Yasha's_ memories of _Kagome?"_

He looked at her with surprise. "Why would I love her because she was once Kikyou? Hell, if it were _me _running around with Kagome and Kikyou in the past, it wouldn't be Kikyou I'd have gone after. The memories I have of her from Inuyasha... well, let's just say, I don't have any particular fondness for the woman. As far as _I'm_ concerned, Kagome's a much better woman all around than my ancestress ever was."

"Then why do you love Kagome, if it isn't simply because of the past connection between you two - is it because the kami have tied you two together?" She had a curious look on her face... she really wanted to know the answer to this question.

Yasha blinked at her, then let his gaze go far away, and she wondered what he was thinking of in that moment. "I know for a fact that our souls are bound together - I can feel the bond like a living thing within me, Mika. But that's not to say that I love her because I have to. I love her for who she is." He smiled, that same far-away look still on his face, and said softly, "You never got the chance to meet her before all of this caused her so much harm. She's a wonderful, beautiful person, and I couldn't ever ask for anything more than she is. To my way of thinking, there _is_ nothing better than Kagome, and Inuyasha - well, I feel sorry for him, when you get right down to it. I'm glad it wasn't _me_ stuck with that cold wench he mated. Kagome's_ nothing _like that."

He shuddered at that thought. "_Thank the gods_ for that. That's all I can say."

Mika sat back in her chair, contemplating him silently for a few moments. Apparently, he was quite well aware that Kagome was a separate personality from Kikyou... but she wondered how he rationalized that, with his knowledge of the fact that their souls were one and the same.

"Let me ask you this, Yasha. You seem to see Kagome both as a separate entity from Kikyou, yet be easily able to accept that she and Kikyou share the same soul. How do you do that?"

He frowned at that, a thoughtful look crossing his face. "Well..." he trailed off, unsure for a minute how to explain it. To him, it was clear, but putting it into words was not as easy as thinking about it.

"I guess... to me it's like the facets of a diamond. It's all the same stone, but each side is a little bit different. Kikyou was one side, or facet, of the soul, Kagome is another - a more developed side, true, but still just another facet. I mean, Kikyou wasn't even the first birth of their soul... there's several other facets there, you know." He shrugged, then.

"That's not an _exact_ explanation or anything, but it's as close as I can get. I just seem to understand it inside where it counts... without words."

Mika nodded. "I guess I can understand what you are saying, somewhat. Some things only the kami themselves fully understand. I am just glad to see that you know that Kagome and Kikyou are two totally different people."

He laughed at that. "Oh, yeah. Like I said, ancestress or not, preincarnation of the woman I love or not, I consider Kikyou to be a bitch. How Inuyasha could stand to be around her... well, at least at first. To be fair, while my memories of his later life after Kagome left are not complete, I do know that she eventually came to understand that her behavior towards Kagome had been horrid - and she did feel sorry for it."

Mika thought of something, then, and looked up at him. "The way you spoke of me not having ever met Kagome before all of this happened... I had the impression that because of the timeline, you had never actually met her, either. Was I wrong?"

'Oh... no, I never actually 'met' her. But I have watched over her since the day I was old enough to be out on my own - and that's been years. I know her pretty well... the difficult part is that for all the time I've spent watching over her, and getting to know her, she hasn't had the same. To be honest, I'm having a hard time keeping that in mind. I have found myself fighting my instincts - my beast - who expects Kagome to know me and to just accept me as a mate... _now._"

Mika nodded. "Go on."

"He's impatient." Yasha laughed wryly. "Well, that's not anything new - all youkai are impatient," he grinned at her as she laughed, "you know that as well as I do. But for me, I do have that little bit of human in me, that's trying to temper the beast. That side of me understands that Kagome needs time - it's just that the big dumb animal that makes up eighty percent of me doesn't want to listen. I've had to jerk his chain _quite _hard, several times."

"Well, you know, maybe you shouldn't be quite so hard on him, Yasha. Think about it... how long have you known about Kagome and who she would be to you? You know how youkai and their beasts are about their mates. I'd say he's done pretty well, all things considered."

Yasha thought about that. "You know, I guess you're right. I've known about Kagome since I became self-aware."

"So, tell me. How do you see Inuyasha's memories? Do you know everything that happened in his life? And when did you gain them?"

Yasha chuckled at that. "Wow. One at a time, there, Mika! Let's see... his memories are like, I don't know... dreams?" He frowned. "You sure are asking questions that are hard to find words for today. They're sorta like dreams, but yet clear - I know they're memories."

"Okay. So...?"

"As for knowing everything - no. I remember most things up until he was pinned to the tree, then _everything_ after Kagome woke him up... until she left through the well for the last time. Then after that, the memories are less. I basically have a general idea of his life after Kagome - the important bits, anyway. I think the kami only gave me what I needed to know for Kagome's sake, and my own."

"And? When did you start remembering these things?"

"Hmm." He tilted his head, looking down at his hands thoughtfully. "It seems that they started slowly, when I was young - a few at a time, really. It got faster as I got older - and by the time I was twelve I pretty much knew everything I do now."

"I see. And when you were little, and first started remembering things, what did you think these memories were?"

He raised a brow in surprise at that question. "I... never really thought about it." He closed his eyes then, trying to look so far back in his memories wasn't easy.

"I wasn't sure, at first, what they were, so I just figured them for dreams - but as they became more frequent, I finally went to my dad and asked him... and that's when he told me about Inuyasha and Kikyou - and especially about Kagome. About who I was. It was... a lot to take in."

"And how did you feel about what he told you?"

"At first, I didn't want any part of it. At least, not the reincarnation thing. I wasn't averse to getting to know Kagome, though. I wanted to meet her from the moment father talked about her."

Mika nodded. She'd thought as much. Apparently, his beast really_ had _been waiting a very long time.

"Let me ask you something." At his curious nod, she continued. "Have you ever dated anyone else?"

Yasha started laughing. "Nope. Don't want anyone else. That's what no one seems to understand fully. There will never be anyone else for me. She's it."

"Don't your friends tease you about not dating?" She was surprised at this - most guys wanted to keep up appearances at all costs - and besides, Yasha was a _very _handsome male, so she was sure that he'd been pursued by a lot of girls, especially in school.

"Feh. What do I care if they jump from woman to woman like grasshoppers in a field of flames? I know what I want, I know what I'm going to have, and I'm good with that. If I have to wait for another ten years, I'll do it. Not that I won't probably be impatient, because I really, _really_ want her, _bad_, but she's worth the wait. Totally."

"I'm glad you think so, Yasha - and I hope she comes to see that she's a lucky girl to have a guy like you willing to wait for her - and able to be faithful to her while doing so. Most men are not that way." Mika was proud to call him family - he was an honorable young male - in a time when very few had any honor at all.

He blushed a bit. "Keh. Kagome's worth it. I love her - so what would I want with some other female?" He shrugged.

"And besides... I'd say we're _both _lucky. We're lucky that we've been allowed to love each other through so many lifetimes. How many other people can say that?"

---cCc---

Sesshoumaru sighed, pleased that after so long, he'd finally managed to track down the one thing from Kagome's past that he could restore to her. It had taken some time, and a great deal of effort, but it would be worth it... and in the long run, would probably help the little miko in recovering her indomitable spirit.

Privately, he thought that that would be a loss for the entire world - to lose something as precious as the caring soul that existed within the tiny onna. It had been damaged, beaten down, and cast aside, in a sense, and even though right now she was suffering, the light that made it up was still there. It just needed to be rescued, and given help to heal.

He was determined that whatever she needed to do so would be provided. After all, it had been his baka of a brother that had caused most of the damage - and after she had given everything she had to save _their _world... the world of five hundred years ago. It wasn't her world, and it wasn't her problem, technically - it had been Kikyou's mistakes and her problem, but she had still done everything she could, and he would return that honor by helping her regain what she'd lost because of it, up to and including any help she needed to finish her education in any subject she chose at university.

Settling back in his chair, he steepled his hands in front of himself, and closed his eyes in thought. Tomorrow, he would meet with the object of his hunt.

The kitsune youkai, Shippo.

He knew for a fact that the young kit would have attempted to make contact with his long-lost mother figure himself - only, he'd never known for sure _when_ she was from. He had checked on the family every fifty years or so, but the last time he'd come around had been about thirty years before... he wasn't due for another twenty.

But he was needed now.

He was probably Kagome's best hope for some healing - and closure. Because she was grieving not only for what Inuyasha had done to her, but also for the sudden loss of her friends.

All of them had been so angered by Inuyasha's decision to send Kagome home, and the way in which he'd done it, that they had all moved on in their lives, losing contact with the hanyou and his mate. Especially the kit. He'd been devastated, and his rage at Inuyasha's actions had turned to hatred very quickly. He'd left, and never looked back.

Now, Shippo could tell her all the things about her friends, how their lives had gone... what they'd done, and about their children. The other thing he could do - reunite Kagome and the only other member of the pack to survive the centuries...

Kirara.

Those two had stayed together after the slayer and monk had finally passed on, and were inseparable now. Sesshoumaru was pretty sure that once Shippo and Kirara knew that Kagome was back, they'd be moving somewhere close by, and wouldn't be moved from her side again - not by anything.

The only thing he was concerned with in the whole thing was Shippo's reaction to Yasha. He hoped to make it clear to the kitsune tomorrow that he wasn't responsible for Inuyasha's past actions, despite being his reincarnation. It would be better for all concerned if the young youkai male could be made to understand the situation, and agree to treat his nephew as _himself_, not a reflection of the hanyou from so many years ago.

It would, after all, avail him nothing to treat Yasha, like Inuyasha. The only real likeness between the two was their tendency to talk alike - brash, and at least in Kagome's case, with the seemingly overwhelming urge to call her 'wench'. He'd not noticed her objecting too much to that name in the past - the one she'd hated had been 'bitch'. Maybe she saw it as a term of endearment. He shrugged lightly at that. He'd heard people use worse words in that way, so... he made a mental note to ask her about it - someday.

The sound of the phone ringing brought him out of his reverie, and he reached out and picked up the office extension.

"Taisho."

"Hello, father. I just wanted to call and let you know that I had my first visit with Yasha today."

He raised a brow in amusement. "And?"

"You know I can't tell you anything about what we talked about - there's that little thing called 'privacy'. But I can say this - your previous concerns about his feelings for Kagome are unfounded. You should not be concerned any longer."

He raised a brow in amusement at his daughter's clever wording. She had not broken any laws with what she'd just said, and yet let him know point blank that the boy truly loved the miko for herself, not because of his past life and who she _used _to be.

"Very good, Mika. You know I am meeting with the kitsune tomorrow - I need you to go to the shrine tomorrow evening and see about the miko's condition... I do not desire to take him to her before she is ready - before she has remembered everything."

"I agree. I will do as you ask, father." He heard a gusty sigh through the phone. "Was there anything else you needed from me?"

"Yes, daughter, as a matter of fact, there is. This weekend the rest of your siblings will be attending dinner here with me. You will also make time to appear."

Mika laughed at that. "Very well, father. Dreading being surrounded by your offspring?"

Now it was his turn to sigh, although it was in amusement. "It will most definitely be a challenge. I have never understood how you all managed to make so much _noise."_

"Well, most _dogs _are not quiet, father - I daresay you are an aberration."

He growled lightly into the phone and she laughed. "Goodnight, father. I will call you tomorrow night after speaking with Kagome."

"Hn. Goodnight, Mika."

He hung up the phone and once again sat back in his chair.

It was good that she'd learned the truth of the boy's feelings for the young miko so quickly. If his answers to the questions had been unacceptable, kami be damned - he'd not have allowed the boy near her.

She deserved better than to be a mere replacement of a past love.

---cCc---

A/N: Sorry it took a few days to get this chapter out, I'm dealing with being pretty sick right now, so I'll probably be working slow for the next week or so, anyway. Hope everyone enjoyed their weekend!

Amber


	12. Illumination

**Chapter 11: Illumination**

Kagome sat at her window, and stared out at the goshinboku. It was the same place she'd been sitting for the last day and a half. For some reason, she just couldn't find it in herself to move away from that spot.

Ever since the other evening, when some sense of a waiting horror invaded her mind, she'd felt fear - and a sudden desire _not _to remember whatever it was that was hovering just outside her conscious mind.

And that had her feeling trapped. Her fear was making her weak, and she knew it. Because she was afraid to remember the rest of her past, she was locking herself into a stasis; one of the mind, and one of the heart. To live, you must move - there is no getting around that, and if she let her fear keep her motionless and tied up, then she would be unable to truly live.

She knew these things. She knew the fear was bad - that it was the wickedness that was wrapping her soul in defeat. And still, she couldn't bring herself to move... to break away from it. That was the ultimate cause for this depression she now found herself in.

With no way to break out of it, she was left immobile, staring out her window at a symbol of her past, and wondering why she felt so trapped by the vision of the sacred tree she'd always before seen as a happy, peaceful presence.

All she could do at that point, somewhere deep inside, was hope that someone, _anyone_, would come that could help her break free. Because at this point, she felt as though she had been hit with a tranquilizer - one of the elephant variety, and it wasn't in her to break through its hold on her own.

At this point, anything that could break through the prison her mind had become would be welcome.

_Anything._

---cCc---

Hojo looked up at the shrine steps that he'd found himself standing in front of, and sighed. He couldn't believe the way Kagome had acted the last time he'd seen her... in all the years he'd known her, she had _never _acted like that - not towards _anyone._ He knew what her mother had said, that she'd just lost some friends, although he couldn't imagine who. He'd called around to all her friends and everyone was fine - and oddly curious about these 'friends' as well. Who could they be?

Hands in his pockets, he walked across the street and headed west, towards a park that he knew lay a few blocks away. Frowning, his mind turned to everyone he knew that Kagome knew, and still, nothing came to mind. Everyone was fine... there hadn't been any deaths of anyone they knew - not even family of anyone they knew.

A flash of red caught his eye as a car sped past, and his frown deepened as something about it tugged at his memory. _Red..._

_And silver._

Stiffening, he stared at the ground at his feet, watching as the grass bent softly with the breeze. Could it be? He remembered a particular school festival where a young male in red, with long silver hair had shown up. He'd never seen the guy before, but it was _more _than obvious that Kagome knew him, and well. And that the man had strong feelings for her.

Was he the reason Kagome was grieving so deeply? Hojo's shoulders slumped and he began to look back over the years he had spent pursuing her, hoping to claim Kagome as his. She'd never reciprocated, had avoided most of the dates he'd tried to get with her, and not stayed long for the couple she had agreed to... and she'd looked at that male the way he'd always hoped she'd look at him - but never had.

It was apparent to anyone with sense that he'd been chasing a dream, and his heart hurt as he thought back over the years. He'd always loved Kagome - it hadn't taken long after he'd met her. She was just so special, and he'd never met another woman like her... not once in the five years he'd known her. He doubted now that there was another woman like her.

But then his shoulders perked back up, and he raised his head and lifted it into the breeze. If that other guy truly _was _the one who had died... maybe he could be her shoulder to lean on - and just maybe, she'd finally be able to see _him._

With something very like hope, he smiled into the distance, and shoulders squared, he nodded once to himself, sharply. He would be there for her... and hope.

Maybe the kami, and Kagome, would look favorably on him for his devotion, once she healed, of course.

---cCc---

Yuka, Eri, and Ayumi looked at each other, and then at the stairs ahead of them, and all nodded at the same time. After Hojo had called them all, asking if any of them knew of any friends of Kagome's that had died, and then told them what had happened the day he'd visited her a couple weeks ago, they'd all been mystified, and done their level best to sniff out who could possibly have passed on - but had had no luck.

Then, the other day, it had finally come to Ayumi... and she'd bet that the one who had died had been the jealous, possessive boyfriend that had had Kagome tied all in knots for the last several years. As soon as she'd brought it up to her other two friends, they had agreed - it looked like Kagome had lost someone a_ lot_ more important to her than just a friend.

She'd lost Inuyasha.

That realization had the three girls determined to go and speak to her. It had been several weeks now, and hopefully, she was up to having visitors - ones that were concerned about her and wanted to see if there was anything they could do. If it truly had been her boyfriend that had died, she was going to need all the support she could get - because the guy had had Kagome wrapped around his finger for years - she'd been totally in love with him, and would be hurting tremendously, they knew.

That would certainly explain the way she'd reacted to Hojo, too. After all, she'd spent years avoiding him, and he still hadn't gotten the message. It was easy to understand her outburst in these circumstances, and with one final glance amongst themselves, the girls started up the steps.

Sota watched the three girls walk across the lower courtyard, then trip up the steps to the upper level that their private home sat on, and grinned. This might just be a good thing for Kagome's sake... she really needed to get out of the house, and these friends of hers were the best bet for that so far.

Waving at them, he turned a huge smile on the girls, and said, "Hey, Yuka, Eri, Ayumi! Long time no see! Here to visit Kagome?"

Eri smiled and nodded. She lowered her voice and looked around for a moment. "We heard that Kagome lost someone important to her - that a friend of hers had died, and we wanted to come and see how she was doing... you know, see if we could cheer her up a bit."

Sota frowned at that, eyes sliding away from the three, something they all noted. "Yeah...it was Inuyasha. I think you guys met him once, didn't you?" At their shocked looks, he shook his head. "It's been... hard for her. But if you want to go see her, she's up in her room. She doesn't... she doesn't come out of it much anymore, and she won't smile hardly at all."

The girls all exchanged unhappy looks, then Yuka said, "Well, we'll just go up and see how she is - maybe we can get her out of the house at some point this week. It would do her good, I'm sure."

Sota was so grateful at the mere thought of his sister coming out of the house and hanging out with her friends that he completely forgot to mention that Kagome had lost her memories, and that they should be careful of what they said.

It would prove to be the oversight that would break the final barrier on her memory - and this would be both a good thing, and a bad thing.

Only time would tell which would outweigh the other - the good... or the bad.

---cCc---

Upstairs, Kagome heard several voices that she had not heard in a while coming up towards her room, and turned her head to stare at her door. She wasn't sure she wanted them to come in... but she also wasn't sure she _didn't_, and that was just as important.

When the knock came, along with Ayumi's gentle voice requesting entrance, she let out a tiny sigh, and softly called out, "Come in," before turning and staring back out the window.

The girls piled in, looking around discreetly, and immediately noticed their friends overwhelming sadness and her air of anguished preoccupation. It wasn't hard to, her whole room _reeked_ of pain. Glancing at each, they all saw the same determination on each others eyes - something _had_ to be done about this.

Eri, being the naturally dominant one, marched over to Kagome at her window seat, and pulled her up, guiding her over to her door. "Yuka, grab her sweater and hand it to her... we're taking her outside. At the very least, we're going to go sit under the god tree. The fresh air will do her good."

Nodding to herself and the others firmly, she pulled the unresisting girl down the stairs behind her as soon as she had her sweater in hand, the other two following along, not about to argue. As soon as they reached the genkan, they got her to put the sweater on, and slip on some shoes... and then Eri continued dragging her out of the house, and back down to the lower level of the shrine, towards the tree.

None of them noticed the golden eyes and silver hair of the person hiding in the tops of the goshinboku - in fact, on the same branch his last incarnation had claimed as his own. It was a good place to hide, while still being able to hear and see everything around. It was where he stayed, most of the time now, waiting for his miko to regain her memory.

His wait was just about over.

He watched as the three girls he remembered from his memories of Inuyasha, and his own memories as well, escorted Kagome out of the house, and to the foot of his tree, and then pulled her down into a sitting position before the behemoth, as they plopped down around her and stared at her determinedly.

Yuka reached out and took Kagome's limp hand in her own, and tilted her head to meet her gaze. "Kagome? Come out of it, girl. You need to wake up, and break away from this depression. This isn't like you."

Kagome let slip a tiny exhalation, almost a sigh, and looked away, her gaze trailing slowly back to the tree before her. She was avoiding looking at her friends.

"Why? Why do I have to wake up? It's easier... less painful to sleep. Didn't you all know that?"

Ayumi looked down at the fingers she was twisting in her lap, then back up at Kagome. "You know better than that, though. Life is never easy - but it _is _interesting. Even when bad things happen, Kagome, you can't give up. That's what you always told us."

A dead laugh bubbled up from Kagome's chest. "You should have slapped me, then. I was spitting meaningless platitudes at you when I said that." Her voice was pained, yet almost listless, and sadness flowed around her like a living thing.

The girls all stared at each other, unsure of what to make of it. They'd never seen Kagome like this, not once in all the years they'd known her. The odd thing was, she'd lost other friends before, and had never reacted this way. Even considering that she had been in love with the guy... this just seemed to go beyond that - it was like there was something deeper there that was causing more harm to the already broken young woman.

But what was it?

Eri sighed, and looked up at the tree for a moment, a slight frown crossing her face. "Kagome... Inuyasha wouldn't have wanted you to give up, you know that right? You have to let go..." she trailed off, head whipping back around at the girls' indrawn breath and the sharp, shocked sound she made. Staring, unsure of what was going on, they all watched as Kagome's face paled even further than it already was, and her eyes lost focus, staring inside herself with a look of unequaled pain.

"Inu..yasha?" she whispered, eyes still blank and unfocused. "That name again... you three knew him." It wasn't a question, it was a statement, and the girl's stared first at her, and then at each other, all wearing identical looks of confusion.

"H-hai, Kagome... uhhh...?" Yuka drew in a deep breath and shook her head in an attempt to clear the befuddlement in her mind. "Don't you... don't you remember?"

A slow shake of the head, Kagome obviously still mostly lost in her thoughts. "No... I don't remember - only the name. Maybe..." she looked up suddenly, eyes focusing for a moment on Ayumi. "Who was Kikyou? Did you know her, too?"

Eyes widening in something close to shock, Ayumi cast a quick, uncertain look at the other two, and then slowly looked back at Kagome. Reluctantly, unsure if honesty was really the best policy at this point, but not knowing what else to do, she nodded.

"We only know what you told us about her, Kagome. We never met her. She was Inuyasha's first girlfriend, and, from the things you said, he couldn't seem to let her go. I know you guys fought a lot about it... but no more than that."

A light suddenly flared in Kagome's eyes, as if something had finally clicked, and she frowned, deeply, and then a look of horror washed across her face - a look mixed in equal parts of betrayal... and with a silent cry, she slumped forward with uncontainable grief as the last of her memories played out against the background of of her broken heart.

Collapsing in on herself, unable to even keep herself upright, tears streamed down her face, silently, as she looked inside and found...

Kikyou.

With her memories returned, she had finally remembered that soul orb - and what she'd never wanted back inside her.

And yet... it was there. Meaning that Mika, her mother, Yasha... all of them... they had betrayed her. And there was nothing she could do about it - it was too late. She would never be free of Kikyou, she would never be just Kagome ever again.

She was doomed to be Kikyou's copy... forever.

Maybe... maybe Kagome never really even existed. Maybe she was just a hallucination.

A fake.

Just as Kikyou had always said.

---cCc---

Somewhere deep inside, in a place of pain, panic, and darkness, a piece of soul shivered in grief for what it was feeling. In subconscious awareness, what had once been known as Kikyou shuddered as it looked on to what it's actions had wrought - and felt sorrow, and fear.

In it's short-sighted actions within the confines of it's last life, it had crushed the seeds of its next life, and there was no telling if the damage it had created could ever be reversed. Like shattered glass, the shards of the rest of the soul lay sprinkled and scattered across the inner horizon of the psyche of the one known now as Kagome. It was a spectacular, glowing disaster, the beauty of the soul evident even its destruction.

At that moment, what had once been Kikyou finally understood the differences between she, and the one known as Kagome. As Kikyou, she had been as an infant in the cycle of birth and rebirth, but Kagome was nearing her ascension.

Or had been. Because now, the only way she could gain that fate was to overcome the destruction that had been wrought on her by a spoiled child with so little wisdom that she had literally cut off her nose to spite her face.

The first thing... this soul could not exist in darkness. It needed light - and it needed love. What had been Kikyou needed to find a way to illuminate the darkness of this place - to bring back the light, and pour it into the darkness that she had forced into existence within the greater portion of the combined soul known as Kagome.

Considering all that it needed to undertake, the soul felt the tug within itself that signified the tie to its _other_ self... and realized that in order to bring back the light, it would have to bring_ itself _together again. Light could not exist when only half of itself was present.

It would have to find its counterpart - the soul that had once been Inuyasha. It was close, the tugging spoke of that, but Kagome had to accept it.

Only then could light exist again within its confines.

---cCc---

A/N: Sorry about the delays with chapters lately, as I said in the last update, I'm pretty sick, and have been having a hard time even staying awake long enough to write anything. Hopefully, this chapter turned out okay, because I'm still out of it enough that I can't tell if it's decent, or not. Hope it's okay!

Amber


	13. Reflections of Endless Sorrow

**Chapter 12: Reflections of Endless Sorrow**

Yasha stared down at the group below the tree, not sure what to make of the absolute dejection tainting the aura of the girl slumped into the ground. What had caused her to react like_ that?_

_Should I go down there, or wait up here? Dammit! _

Staring down the great trunk of the tree, he kept his eyes trained on the group intently, deciding to let things play out, for now, but determined that if anything else happened, he would hop down and get involved immediately. He absolutely hated the fact that Kagome was hurting so badly... especially because it was his last incarnation that had caused most of the damage.

He sighed unhappily. He felt so much guilt, because, even though he himself had not hurt her, a part of him had, and he really hated that. He had spent a lot of time almost wishing that he could go back and beat the hell out of his past self for the things he'd done to Kagome - someone who had _never_ deserved what he'd done.

It was also hard for him to sort out what he felt towards the kami. In some ways, he had a lot of anger towards them for deeming that things should be this way. The truth was, he loved Kagome enough to actually wish that she could have been with Inuyasha... if it would have made her happy, he would have dealt with the pain of losing her.

The thought hurt, of course, her being with someone else, but he would have let her go if he could have saved her some pain. It was so unjust that she had given so much to Inuyasha, and he had taken, and taken, and taken... and given her nothing but heartache and driven her almost to insanity with his constant insults, and then the final rejection. It was for all of that that he felt so guilty, and in some ways he actually questioned whether he should give her up himself.

But he knew what he knew, and he could feel the bond between them like a living thing - what shinto beliefs called the red cord of fate. It stretched between them with a strength that couldn't be broken, and part of him was _so _glad for that. It meant that even though he really didn't deserve her, or at least, _hadn't, _the last time around, he had the chance now to fix the things Inuyasha had done, to give all of himself to her.

He had every intention of giving everything he had to her, no matter what, or how much pain he would feel while waiting for her to heal. As much as he hated pain, there really was no amount of it that he could suffer that would ever compensate for what she had suffered at Inuyasha's hands...

He would gladly spend the rest of his life devoted to her and her happiness.

Only then would _he _be happy.

-cCc-

_Immortality._

_So this is the price one must pay to be immortal. The flesh dies, and the soul continues... but what makes me who I am? What made Kikyou who she was? Is there any difference at all? _

_I think, therefore I am. Or so they say. But maybe it is that I think, therefore, _she _is._ _And yet, if I were simply her, would I truly hate myself? Kikyou didn't hate herself, she hated me. So there has to be some difference... somewhere - doesn't there?_

_But if there is, why can't I find it? I feel as though I am nothing more than a reflection in a broken mirror. Is that how I am supposed to be? Would I even know the difference between myself and my reflection if I looked in that mirror?_

_Somehow, I don't think I would. And that was the only way he could love me... is if he looked in that same mirror and saw _her _looking back. Was I really willing to let him use me that way?_

_Am I still willing to let him use me that way?_

_No. I'm not. I may have to hate myself, but I don't have to let anyone else hate me like that. What I said to him was the truth. He made his choice, and there is no fate now between he and I. _

_Whatever destiny was between us has died, as has Kagome. There is only death here, and a broken reflection of his Kikyou._

_Nothing more._

Kagome finally looked up at the three girls that had desperately been trying to gain her attention the whole time she'd been lost in her thoughts, and shook her head at them. Eyes focused, but not on the here and now so much as the past, and the distant future, she smiled, and the girls all gasped and flinched away. It was a dead woman's smile, a smile that had _acceptance _at its core, but no happiness... no _life. _It was frozen.

"I remember now. It doesn't matter, though. I will live until I can die - until fate lets me go. There is no other option, really. I have no choice," she said, softly, speaking more to herself than to her shocked friends. She didn't meet any of their eyes, seeming to prefer to look in their direction rather than at them, personally.

Ayumi choked back tears as she looked at her other two friends. That, more than anything, spoke to just how shattered her friend really was. Kagome had always met life head on, had never hidden her gaze from anyone, looking people in the eyes, challenging everyone around her not only to live, but to be _alive._

All of that was gone. All of it, and it didn't look like that could ever be brought back.

Kagome stood up slowly, no real energy in her motions, only necessity, and swept an indifferent glance around the shrine. "I need to go do some thinking. About my new path in life... what I should do while I wait for my freedom to be granted. Thank you for coming over and seeing me." Her words were quiet, formal - she was a completely different person from the high-spirited Kagome that had existed before.

They all watched, stunned, as she moved away, looking so fragile, so breakable in that moment. She looked...

Brittle.

With confused and unhappy glances, the girls turned quietly and left. They would call in a few days and see how she was feeling then. Hopefully, after she'd grieved, time would patch up some of her heart and begin to bring her back to them.

It was just at the point that they were losing her, that they all realised that they _needed_ her. Kagome had always been light, and love, and the cornerstone of everyone she'd come in contact with. She _changed _people, and things around her without even trying, making them better, and without her, it was like losing the sun itself.

It was dark, and cold.

The three shivered as they walked down the shrine steps and under the high red torii gate.

Winter had come in summer... a neverending night filled with bitter winds and frozen souls.

Hell couldn't possibly be any colder than this.

-cCc-

Aiko watched as a different woman entered the house than had left it earlier, and with a grim glance at Hikari, waited for her to speak. It was beyond obvious that she had gotten her memory back fully, now, and she was pretty sure that Kagome was about to lay into them with rage for forcing that bit of her soul back into her against her wishes.

So she was completely shocked when Kagome spoke, and it wasn't what she ws expecting.

"Mother, grandfather." She bowed her head formally. "I have decided not to attend university. I will instead train as a shrine maiden and take over care of the shrine when you decide to pass it on, grandfather."

Her face was blank, stoic... the wildly inappropriate thought that Kagome reminded her suddenly of Mika's father ran through Aiko's shell-shocked mind.

"But, but.. _why,_ Kagome?" She stared at her daughter like she'd never seen her before. "You always wanted a career - and then a _family. _As a shrine maiden, you would forfeit that!"

Hikari watched as Kagome's expression remained frozen, and shook his head sadly. Things were not looking so good right now. That was not the destiny the kami had for Kagome, and the more the girl fought it, the harder things would be for her.

"I no longer desire to follow that path. That road is closed to me, and I will find contentment here, caring for the shrine for the rest of my days. It is... safe. That's what I want."

"Kagome... I think that you should consider talking to Mika. Get some counseling. You have been through way too much for one so young - it couldn't hurt to talk to someone about all you have seen and done." Hikari was firm - this wasn't really a request. He was the elder Higurashi, head priest for the shrine, and it was his duty to see to his granddaughter's well-being. She would obey.

Again, she bowed her head, expression unchanged. "Very well, grandfather. Although I have no interest in speaking to anyone, I will do so - but it will be around my studies, agreed?"

Hikari thought about it for a moment, ignoring the sudden death grip on his arm by Aiko. "I agree. I will begin your training in the morning - afternoons you will speak to Mika, then return to me afterwards for more shrine duties."

Kagome bowed again. "I understand, grandfather. If you will excuse me, I would like to go take a nap. Regaining ones memory takes a lot out of a person." She turned and made her way out of the room and up the stairs, quietly closing her bedroom door behind her.

As soon as the lock clicked, Aiko spun around to meet Hikari's gaze. "We can't let her be a shrine maiden, father! That isn't her destiny, and we both know that!"

He patted her hand comfortingly. "Yes, daughter... _but_," he gave her a sly look, then winked, "just because I begin lessons doesn't mean that I will _finish _them. Let her begin training. This will give her what she needs most right now, Aiko. _Time. _She _will _heal from all this, but she needs more time - and that, we have a lot of if we do things this way. Plus, as I give her what _she _wants right now, she does what _we _want - she talks to Mika."

Aiko nodded slowly, understanding where he was coming from suddenly, and sighed deeply. "I see." She looked over at him again, then towards the phone. "I probably should go call Mika, then, and let her know about her new patient."

Hikari nodded at her, then passed out into the living room, intent on heading back into the shrine. He had a lot of thinking to do to be ready for tomorrow.

A lot of thinking, and even more meditating.

-cCc-

Mika sat back at her desk with a deep sigh. She'd just gotten off the phone with Aiko, and, once again, Kagome had not reacted the way she should have to the return of her memories. But at least now she wouldn't have to take the trip out there this evening - she knew enough to report to her father.

_Nothing this young woman does is expected,_ she thought with a tired chuckle, before standing and reaching for her purse. _Time to go home... but first, a visit to father. I wonder what his reaction will be?_

Within minutes she was on her way to her father's estates, office locked and staff sent home. She didn't think he was going to be too happy with the way the miko's mind seemed to be heading - if there was one thing that would be guaranteed to anger him, it would be the thought of her giving up, merely existing rather than living.

She had no idea just how right she was. The moment she told him what Kagome's decision had been, and what her state of mind was, he was out the door, and on the way to the shrine, more anger in his eyes than she could remember seeing there for many years.

The truth was, her father was in love with the miko. He had been for centuries, but had also known that she wasn't for him. It wouldn't work. He was Lord, he needed a youkai mate, for full-blooded heirs... his children couldn't be hanyou. On top of that, he knew of her love for his brother, and he knew of her destiny as the lifemate of another. So he had let all thoughts of anything other than caring go, and done what he needed to do. He had found himself a youkai mate, and sired his heirs.

It didn't matter even now that he had heirs, or that his mate had passed on. She belonged to another. He could love her, in silence, and from afar, he could care for her as a soon-to-be member of the family, but that was all.

No one would deny that she was perfectly acceptable as a mate for his however many times great-nephew, and an excellent ally. She was a powerful miko, and that was enough to make her blood strong enough to all for his brother's line. As a member of the Inu clan, the only thing he could do was protect her from afar - no one would see that as wrong.

It was the only way he _could_ care for her.

Mika had known for years how he felt about the little miko, and had never said a word about it - not even to her father. It was a painful subject for him, she was sure, and she didn't wish to hurt him any further over it. Kagome could never be his, and he knew it... it was enough. There was no need to speak of it.

An idle thought wandered through her mind... _What would Yasha say if he knew? What would _Inuyasha _have said if he'd ever found out?_

_It's probably best not to know._ She chuckled at that..._ maybe best not to know, but I bet it would have been entertaining to see Inuyasha's face if he'd found out. He would never have believed it. But then again..._

_Maybe he would have. He knew how extroardinary Kagome has always been - if any ningen was to catch my father's attention, it would be her. And even she has never known how he felt. He made sure of that, because he would never accept her pity._

Mika pulled into the closest spot she could to the shrine steps and sighed. _So much for going home. _Who knew just what her father was going to do? He would never allow Kagome to wander within herself for very long - he would poke, and prod, and even threaten until he brought her back - until he brought her back to herself. And then, he would send her to Yasha, and stand back and watch her be happy.

It would _always _be that way. Fate was cruel sometimes, and it had been to the Western Lord...

It had given Sesshoumaru power, wealth beyond imagining, strong heirs... and in return, had taught him to love - and taken what he'd loved, and given it to someone else.

Fate was a bitch, in Mika's opinion. The whole thing was a tragedy of errors, wrong on every level, from Inuyasha's torture of the girl and his desertion, and her father's love, yet inability to ever have her...

To Kagome's suffering itself. It almost seemed as if the kami were being deliberately cruel.

-cCc-

Sesshoumaru was raging. He would not allow her to lose herself in her own mind, or her soul. It would _not _happen, no matter what. He would challenge her, he would fight with her, do whatever it took to make her wake back up and _live _again.

He was fully aware that while he would always love her, he could never have her, and he was okay with that. He'd had centuries to accept that fact. But he would be damned if he couldn't claim her in at least _some _way - even if it was merely as a clan mate upon her mating to his nephew. One way or another, she would be a part of the Inu clan, and someday, her blood would flow through parts of it. It was all of her he could have, and it would be enough.

He could honor her, for_ her _honor. For the things she'd done for all of them. But that's all he could ever do. So honor her he would - even if he had to frighten her to do so.

So angered that he didn't even notice the drive, he came back to himself when he finally got his car parked, and flying up the steps of the shrine, he stopped at the top and flared his aura, searching out her reiki. The moment he found it, he was on the roof and heading for her window.

He yanked it open and stepped through, as she turned and faced him, quite calm, even in his raging presence, and he stared, having a hard time with what he was seeing.

"So, they spoke the truth, miko. You have taken the cowards way out, and now, you resemble nothing so much as my bastard half-brother's mate," he hissed, eyes narrowed.

Kagome gazed at him steadily, not reacting one bit to the taunt. "Ah, Sesshoumaru. To what do I owe the honor?" Her voice was lightly mocking, not intimidated one tiny bit... just like she never had been before. There was no fear.

_I will have to change that, miko... if the only way this Sesshoumaru can get you to wake is through fear, then I will do so._

Letting his aura flare higher, he dropped his ningen disguise, and eyes tinting red, he said, "I had thought you had more courage than this, onna, than to let yourself die because the half-breed chose another! If you are so intent on dying, then I will give you that. No one needs the presence of a coward."

She tilted her head, a slight frown on her face. "Who told you I was trying to die? I have no plans to do so - I am merely planning to train as a shrine maiden. I don't get what your problem with that is, Sesshoumaru - or really, what business of yours it is, either."

He snarled at her, snapping his fangs. "For you, that is death, onna, and you know it. You were not meant for such. There is another destiny in store for you, one that is at the side of my nephew, and you are not merely hurting yourself with your actions, but him as well, and that, I cannot and will not allow!"

"I am afraid, Sesshoumaru, that that is where you are wrong. As I have said before, my destiny is my _own_, and tied to no one but me. I will not be coerced into being with someone because a bunch of fools believe that I am somehow tied to his soul."

He closed his eyes, clenching his hands in a futile effort to control his anger at her. "I should kill you, miko. You are not the onna I knew five hundred years ago at all." He opened his eyes and stared at her, and something inside shuddered for a moment. There was _no _fear in her.

She shrugged and turned away from him. "Then do so. It matters not to me." She was taunting him with the formality, and he knew it. He would not fall into her trap.

"Why do you not fear, priestess?"

At that, she glanced over her shoulder at him, surprise in her gaze. "Why should I fear something that comes to all of us sooner or later? Death is not the end... it is a release from the pain and suffering that only life can bring. Death is _peace_, Sesshoumaru. Why should I fear it?"

And then, he understood. Staring at her, his aura settled, and he blinked, shocked.

"You do not fear death, miko... you fear _life! _ It is _life_ that haunts your

dreams and makes them nightmares, isn't it?"

She nodded, looking away again.

"Finally, you understand."

_How do you leave a nightmare behind, when the nightmare is life itself?_

-cCc-

A/N: For all those who might want to start screaming, no this is not a Sess/Kag story. The only reason that this chapter introduces Sesshoumaru's true feelings towards Kagome is so that everyone understands _why_ he's so determined to help her. She will end up with Yasha - that's what this story is about, after all. It's about the healing process Kagome goes through after all she has been through... and the same process for Yasha, that finally leads them to where they need to be.

This is also not a Sesshoumaru bashing fic... it's not a bashing _anyone_ fic. It is an ANGST fic. That's why there is a lot of ANGST.

Just wanted to make all that clear so everyone understands where I am with this.

Amber


	14. Wednesday's Child is Full of Woe

**Chapter 13: Wednesday's Child is Full of Woe**

_There was always something about Sesshoumaru. Even back then, there was so much awe in me for what he was - and now, he seems to be even more. I hated it when he and Inuyasha fought - because it was so hard to take sides._

_And even now, he still challenges me._

Kagome chuckled lightly as she came out of her meditative trance. _ He seems to know just how to get to me, challenging me to live. I never could say no to a challenge, damn him anyways._

It was warm out, and since she'd been sitting outside for several hours under her grandfather's orders meditating, she was pretty sweaty. With a grimace, she stood, and following the rather cheerful mumbling coming from him, she cornered him in one of the sheds.

"Grandfather, I've finished with my meditating for the morning, but if you were wanting me to go and speak with Mika, I need to go shower and change."

Hikari looked up, startled out of his thoughts, and glanced at Kagome. "Is it that time already? How the time passes..." he sighed. "Go ahead, then, girl, go do what you need. When you get home, come and see if there is anything I need from you."

She bowed. "Yes, grandfather." Turning, she hurried to the house, intent on getting in a nice soak before heading out. She had originally planned to take the bus, but Sesshoumaru had insisted that he would have a car pick her up and take her. _Why couldn't I have fallen for him, instead? _

And then she laughed at herself. _And that would have turned out even worse, truly. I'm a simple ningen. Sesshoumaru might care about me as an honored ally, but that's all it could ever be, so if I'd been fool enough to give him my heart, I'd have had it broken just as much. I should just stay away from men entirely... and being a shrine maiden gives me that excuse._

_Some people should just not ever try to find love - all it does is bite them in the rear, and I guess I'm one of those who are better off alone. It's certainly safer that way... if I don't give anyone access to my heart, then no one can hurt me. Simple math, really._

It didn't take her long to get ready, even considering the bath, and soon she was on the shrine steps waiting for her ride. She really wasn't looking forward to this whole exercise... but if it got her what she wanted, meaning, everyone off her back, then she had decided she could handle it.

Anything for a little peace...

---cCc---

Yasha watched her go with little joy, even considering that she was finally stepping out and beginning to get the help she needed. He'd been stunned yesterday, as she'd so abruptly changed and gone in the house, and had still been trying to figure it all out when Sesshoumaru had come flying up and stormed right into her room.

He couldn't believe that his uncle had done that. Who told him he had any right to jump in her bedroom window like he owned her or something? And then, when he'd jumped into the tree outside her window and listened in, the things she'd said had hit him right in the heart.

_She can't be a shrine maiden... I can't lose her this way - hell, I can't stand to lose her at all._

His mind wandered back to the scene in her bedroom the day before. He'd been horrified when he'd understood what she was saying about life and death... it showed just how much damage had been done, and it worried him - just how long would it take to see her spirit come back... to see _Kagome _again?

And then... then he'd seen his uncle's face. In that moment, he knew. His uncle wasn't just caring for her as a former ally, or even a potential family member. He was in love with her. Not that Yasha couldn't understand that... far as he was concerned, anyone could fall in love with her, she was just that special. But... just what was on his uncle's mind? He'd felt majorly unsettled since coming to that realization... and knew that he was going to be watching Sesshoumaru very carefully from here on out.

He wasn't about to lose Kagome. Not to her broken heart, not to that Hojo character - and most certainly not to his uncle.

End of story.

If he'd been thinking clearly about it, and not with jealousy, he would have realized that his uncle would never be competition for his miko's hand, simply because of who he was.

But since when has jealousy ever included clear thinking?

He sighed and walked up the steps to the main shrine area, and went looking for Hikari. Since he was gonna be sitting here for a while 'til she came back, he may as well make himself useful, and he knew full well the old man was always happy to have strong young shoulders to use for heavy lifting.

It was better than sitting and thinking. He'd done enough of that for a while.

---cCc---

Mika watched quietly as Kagome was ushered in, and immediately began cataloguing her behaviors. It seemed that the unnatural calm and placid personality that had emerged after her memory was restored was still dominant, and she had to wonder, if perhaps her behavior was due to her former incarnation's ways. It was hard to judge.

Kagome sat down in the chair indicated and nodded politely to Mika. "Doctor."

Bowing her head back, she held her gaze. "Kagome. I am glad you kept the appointment. When your mother called yesterday and told me that you had agreed to see me, I was not sure that you would."

Brow raised, Kagome looked at her, a bland look on her face. "I gave my word. I don't go back on what I promise. However, I will not lie. I have no desire to be here, nor to talk about 'things'." She laid a peculiar intensity on that one word, and Mika knew exactly what she was saying.

"So, you came, but you have no intentions of cooperating with any treatment, then." It was more a statement than a question.

"If you ask a question, I will answer it. I did not say I wouldn't speak, I said I did not have any desire to do so." Kagome had promised, so she would speak. But she wouldn't go out of her way to talk, and she wouldn't volunteer information. The woman before her would have to work for whatever she wanted.

"I see. The passive-aggressive path. So, I will have to fight for every step, ne?" Mika kept a steady, non-judgmental gaze pinned to her, while still letting her know who was in charge.

"Call it what you will. Why should I be cooperative and happy to be here, when all of you went against my wishes and forced that soul-orb back into me? You have, you could say, made me what I am now. If you want to know what that is, I can tell you in one word, then we can be done with this." Kagome refused to back down, whether the woman felt she was in charge or not, she wasn't, and that was reality. She refused to apologize for the way she felt.

"And what is it that you are?"

Kagome laughed lightly, mockingly. "You have made me Kikyou... what else? Really, you all should get with the program and start calling me Kikyou, rather than Kagome, you know. Face reality - acknowledge what you killed... who you killed."

Mika's brow crinkled slightly at her words. "And how do you think that we 'killed' you, _Kagome_?"

She sat back at that and waved a hand languidly. "Emphasize the name in a vain attempt to deny all you like, it doesn't matter, nor does it change the truth. Kagome really no longer exists... Kikyou does, however, and this lifetime, will live it out as a shrine maiden as I didn't do in the last lifetime."

Mika held silent for a moment, head tilted as she stared at the girl, then asked, "And yet, if you were truly Kikyou and not Kagome, shouldn't you remember your last lifetime in full detail? Have all memories intact? Tell me, what do you remember of you're last life after Kagome came back through the well?"

Kagome's jaw tightened in anger for a moment, then she looked away, staring at the wall. "Whether I remember my last life or not, the person you have made me into, is Kikyou. I have become that which I hate... and now I have no choice but to live as someone else. None of you had the _right _to force that soul back into me - but you did it anyway. You played kami with my life. _Did you expect gratitude for it?" _ she ground out_, _not amused with the seeming arrogance of the woman sitting before her.

Mika sighed. "Kagome,without that last bit of your soul you were going insane - and you would have died, soon. You couldn't go any longer without it being returned. You were born with that piece of soul, as Kagome. How could you truly be _Kagome_ without it?"

At that, she leaned forward, anger roughening her voice even more. "The same way I had been Kagome for the years I didn't have it! Arrogant as your father, aren't you? _What gave you the right to decide that I had to have it back? _Are you one of the kami?!" At Mika's denial, she continued. "Then you should have let me decide what I wanted, and respected my decision!"

"So you would die, just to avoid a tiny piece of _your _soul?" Mika asked, brow flying into her bangs.

"Like I told your father, I don't fear death," she hissed, eyes flying to meet Mika's gaze head on.

"Tell me. Why do you hate your mother, grandfather, and brother so much?"

That loaded question, delivered in such a straight, almost conversational, voice, caught her attention like nothing else could have done. Kagome was floored.

"What do you mean by that? I don't hate my family." Confusion was rampant in her voice, and Mika grinned internally. _Ah-ha. Gotcha. Now, you're gonna have something to think about._

"Well, it surely seems as if you do. If that soul had not been returned to you, you would have died. Did you want your family to watch you die? Were you trying to punish your mother by making her watch her beloved daughter die, while the means to save her was sitting on her desk, right in plain view?"

Kagome stared at her, jaw opening, then closing, as she tried to find something to say. "W-well... uh..." her voice choked off as her eyes dropped to the floor, and she got lost in her own mind.

_Is that what I was doing?_

Mika, seeing her reaction, dropped another bomb on her. "I'm curious. If you were in your mother's shoes, watching your _own_ daughter go through that, what would you have chosen to do? Would you have let her die? _Could_ you have let her die?"

_I... don't know. Would I? Could I? I... well, I would want to respect her wishes, but to let her die?_

"I don't know," she said quietly.

Brow furrowed, she stared at the floor, as though it held the secrets of the universe. There was a stillness inside her as the storm stopped, and she just listened - listened to the tides within her, slipping her mind into a place that she could honestly take that question, and put herself into those shoes, like Mika had said.

_I want to rage and fight her, but I can't. Because it was a fair question. I have all this anger inside about Kikyou, and that piece of soul... sometimes, I feel so much hatred towards it that I want to claw my way out of my own skin to get away from it, but I can't, and it's because of them. They turned me into Kikyou!_

_But..._

_Should mom and grandfather and Sota have to watch me die because I hate myself? None of them really had anything to do with this. I can say that I wouldn't want to watch my own child die because of a crazy situation like this... but from the other side, I hate feeling like a stranger stuck in a cramped body with... well it's like sharing skin with Naraku to me. It's a horrible feeling._

Mika waited patiently, occasionally writing something on a notepad she had in front of her. It seemed that the question she'd asked had catapulted the girl into a very deep round of thought. That was good.

Finally, she looked back up at Mika, and shook her head. "I understand what you are saying, but the bottom line is, this isn't someone else, this is me. _I'm _the one that has to live with this. I hate having that thing in me. It makes me feel horrified within my own body, and to be honest, I don't know if I can live with it." she looked away again, eyes closing.

"I can feel it, you know. It may be inside me, but it's almost like having two souls inside me. And _my_ part is doing everything it can to get away from _her_ part. If you all thought putting it back inside me was a cure-all, you made a deadly mistake. Because it didn't heal the schism inside me. It just made things worse."

As Mika heard her, she began to worry again. Things with this young woman were not going the way they should. That last part of her soul should have seemlessly blended back in with the rest of it - not be sitting off to the side. Then again, she thought with a frown, was it really? Was it just that it was taking time to fully integrate back in?

With a sigh, she rubbed her hand over face. Things dealing with the soul were in such a gray zone. Who but the kami themselves really knew the true boundaries between soul and spirit, mind and body? Kagome may be the one inside that body and dealing with that soul, but even she couldn't know all of it. There were just too many questions... just like with the mind. Science could only take you so far.

"What do you mean that it's like two souls? You can see the bounderies between the part you've had all this time, and the part she took from you when she was resurrected?"

Kagome looked at her, and frowned, then looked at her desk. Reaching over, she took two decorative, highly polished stones, and held them up. "This one," she gestured towards the larger piece, "is the one I kept after she came back. This one," she held up the smaller, "is the piece she had." Setting them on the desk several inches apart, she nodded her head at them, then looked up.

"That's how it is inside me. On one side, there's her, and on the other," she touched the larger stone, "there's me. In between there's just nothing. The souls don't need boundaries... because they don't touch."

Sitting back and meeting Mika's surprised gaze, she finished.

"They don't touch at all. Two souls in one body. And I am almost positive Kikyou's is the stronger, despite the fact it's smaller. Once it's all said and done, it will be the one running the show. That's why I said you turned me into Kikyou."

Mika drew a deep breath, then let it out, steepling her fingers, she leaned on ehr desk and stared at the stones. When she looked up, she caught Kagome's eye.

"I think you have it wrong, Kagome. I think that you need to reach into yourself and look at that piece. Look at it honestly - and listen to it. It might just want to become whole again... to meld back into itself - even to make amends. Shouldn't you be positive before you just give up and try to become someone you're not?"

Kagome stared at her, unsure. _Should I? I've always... tried to be fair. But in the end, I gave away so much of myself always trying to be fair to everyone _else,_ and ignored myself. Do I want to go there again? Or do I want to think of myself this time?_

_Do I want to, once again, let what everyone else wants, influence me and make my decisions for me?_

She shook her head, a stubborn look crossing her face. Looking Mika dead in the eye, she said, "I'll think about it. But that's all. No guarantees." Then, looking at her watch, she stood, and tilted her head. "It's time for me to get going. Good day, Doctor."

And she walked out the door, everyone else forgotten as she lost herself in her thoughts.

_I'm tired of the darkness in my life, darkness I took on to keep everyone else from being hurt by it. Why have the kami forsaken me and left me to this hell, when all I've ever done is try to help people without prejudice?_

---cCc---

Mika sat back in her chair and caught the bridge of her nose between elegant fingers and sighed deeply. What a mess. After a moment, she moved forward and picked up the notebook and re-read her notes, then picked up her pen and wrote again. When she finished, she tossed the pen down and shook her head.

This was definitely going to be an interesting case.

_She slips back and forth between 'her' and 'I' as though they are interchangeable. I think she's so sure that she's going to turn into Kikyou, that she's actually trying to make it happen. Next time I see her, I think I'm going to give her a little homework. If she really is Kikyou like she thinks, then I want her to list all her personality traits... and then label which are Kagome and which are Kikyou. I'll be interested to see what she comes up with on that one._

_It's so funny, in a way. It seems that the way to bring her back to herself is to appeal to her in ways that only Kagome would respond to. In other words..._

_Get her to think about the effects on others. No matter how much she fights it, in the end, she will always put others above herself. It's just the way she's made. And it's the only way to save her, it appears. _

_How ironic._

_---_cCc---

A/N: Again, everyone, I am truly sorry about the delays on this. I ended up in the hospital last week for the afternoon, and I found out that I have a couple of serious infections. I'm currently also on a bit of pain meds for the pain, and they are making it hard to really think, and with this fic, because of the subject matter, that's really not helpful. I can't say when I'll be able to get back to a faster posting rate, because these infections are really putting up a fight, and even though I'm almost done with the antibiotics I was given, I'm not really getting better, so it looks like I might end up back at the doctor and needing further treatment. Hope the new chapter is okay!

Amber


	15. One Step Forward

**Chapter 14: One Step Forward...  
**

Kagome was deep in thought on the ride home, Mika had made sure she would be, but Kagome wasn't oblivious to the conclusions that the woman would come to. She was well aware of what she now thought - what she planned to do to gain her attention and try to talk her out of her anger.

_It's not going to be that easy. All these damn years I've spent all my time thinking of everyone around me, and putting myself through hell and back to make sure they were all happy, and now, I don't want to anymore. I don't care if they don't like what I'm doing, or becoming. _

_I was a sweet, pure little girl, because that's what the kami needed to defeat Naraku and purify the jewel... but now, they don't need me anymore, so if I want to feel bitter and angry, then I will. To hell with everyone else, and if I'm being selfish, then maybe it's about time. Since no one else seems to give a damn about what I want, then I won't care what they want._

As those thoughts took over her mind, settling a darkness in her heart, a small part of her curled in on itself deep within. That little part knew that right now, Kagome was hurt, and she was sulking, and striking out at those she felt bore a part of the responsibility for her pain. But it was also aware that, as much as she might be consciously telling herself that she didn't care about anyone else anymore, that part of her was perfectly willing to admit that in the end, she wouldn't ever really be able to go through with something that would bring pain to another.

Kagome might be lost right now, but she was still _Kagome_ - even though she didn't see that. But her soul knew it - even the part that was once Kikyou, and was now trying desperately to make up for its past mistakes.

In the meantime, it listened to the other part of itself thinking, and wept more with every thought. Kikyou had indeed been blind....

Blind not to the damage she had caused, for it had been deliberate.

She had been blind to the fact that she was busily destroying her _own_ future.

---cCc---

Hikari wiped the sweat off his forehead on the sleeve of his haori, and glanced over at Yasha. The young man had worked by his side quietly the entire afternoon with nary a complaint, and it was one more thing that stood out in defining just how his personality differed from his past incarnation.

Inuyasha would have complained and griped the entire time.

He was finding this whole thing fascinating in a way - not that watching his granddaughter tear herself to shreds was entertaining, but the fact remained: who else in history had gotten the chance to meet two incarnations of the same soul, knowing who the person was in each life? Besides Inuyasha and Kagome, this kind of stitch in the fabric of time had probably never happened before - so it was safe to say that probably no one else but the people involved with the two souls had ever had the privilege.

On the other side of the well, those involved got to see Kikyou, and Kagome, and how the differences lay between them, and on this side, Inuyasha and Yasha. This whole situation was an interesting conundrum, as far as he was concerned, and he was cataloguing every observation, and taking notes. He had already written a copious amount about Inuyasha and his personality and life - as much as he knew, of course, and was now working to catch up with more knowledge of Yasha.

The chance of a lifetime, this was, and he was going to take every advantage he could to study this whole situation from back to front... while helping his granddaughter find herself again.

Two birds with one stone. Neat, and efficient... just the way he liked it.

---cCc---

"Where do you want this, Elder?"

Yasha waited, holding a long box, for the priest to decide, then quickly placed his burden where requested once answered. It was nice, this, to be able to work, without having to put too much thought into things, and he was grateful for the distraction - he'd done nothing _but_ think since this whole thing had started.

But now, his thoughts started to crowd in around him, as he glanced at his watch and realized that Kagome was probably on her way back home. He ached to see her, but even more, he wanted her to see him _without _looking at him with bitterness.

He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she didn't see him as Inuyasha, and that there was no confusion in her on that score. To her, he was a new unknown - and in a way, that was good. He didn't want her to think of him as Inuyasha, because this time around, he wasn't. He was Yasha; a different facet of the soul that was living and learning. This was _his_ time to live, _his_ time to love - and his heart and soul yearned for her to see him, and _love him._

With a sigh, he glanced out the door of the shed as he noticed her aura approaching, and watched wistfully as she walked up the last few steps and towards the shed he and her grandfather were in.

_She is so beautiful, _he thought, with a bittersweet smile. _If only she'd take the chance to get to know me... _shaking himself out of those thoughts sadly, he shrugged, and turned towards Hikari.

"Is there anything else you need me for? Kagome's back, and since she won't want me around, I probably should go." His voice was tired, and he almost sounded defeated.

"Kagome will live. How do you expect to let her know who you are _now _if you run away every time she comes close, boy? Sure, she will probably be fairly cold for a while, but eventually..." he caught the boy's pained gaze and shook his head. "If you are too much of a coward to face her, then maybe you are not the man I thought, and would not be good for her. She needs someone who isn't going to give up."

With a last, long look at the boy, he turned and continued working. "Think about it."

Yasha looked down at his hands, hands that were clenched tight, and already dripping a bit of blood, and thought about it. There was no question that he wanted Kagome, and he would wait forever if he had to, but he really didn't want to waste forever waiting - so he hoped that this would get figured out just a _bit _sooner than that.

With another sigh, he squared his shoulders and nodded to himself, then unclenched his fists and wiped the blood away with a cloth.

"I take your meaning, Elder. I'll stay and continue helping."

Hikari nodded without looking back, a slight smile quirking his lips. "Good. Then hand me that box from the shelf to your right - the one with the black ribbon around it."

With that, they went back to working together silently, waiting for Kagome to enter the room.

---cCc---

"So tell me, Kitsune. Do you think you are ready to see Kagome, with what I have told you of her state of mind?" Sesshoumaru had his steady gaze trained on Shippo, intent on his goals.

Shippo nodded eagerly. "Of course! She isn't angry at me, so my presence should only be a help, not a hindrance. So when can I see her?"

Sesshoumaru held up a hand, and pinned the kitsune with a tight glare. "Hold yourself calm, youngling. There are other things you need to be made aware of - and only once I am satisfied that you will not cause problems will you be allowed near her. Now..." he tilted his head and watched the boy consideringly.

"I am aware of your feelings on the subject of Inuyasha." He raised a brow at Shippo's low growl. "Indeed. However, I warn you. You will be meeting his reincarnation. Yasha is my several times removed nephew, and a better... person than my idiot half-brother ever was, and I will not tolerate you causing any problems with him. He is having a hard enough time with this situation as it is."

Shippo stared at the daiyoukai, stunned. _Inuyasha's... reincarnation?_ "Uh... why is this guy hanging around Kagome?"

"Because Inuyasha was not the one meant for Kagome. By the will of the kami, _Yasha _is the incarnation of the soul that was given that, shall we say, honor? Inuyasha realized this, and that is why he sent Kagome back. However, he has always been a fool, and he handled it badly, causing the wreck that we now have with her. If you cannot bring yourself to understand that Yasha is not responsible for Inuyasha's mistakes, then you will not be allowed to interfere."

Dropping his eyes and looking down, Shippo thought about what he'd been told.

_Can I handle this? _ Within moments, the answer that came to him was yes. He could. Two different people... blaming this guy for Inuyasha's mistakes would have been like blaming Kagome because Kikyou was a bitch.

Looking back up, he grinned engagingly at the daiyoukai and nodded firmly.

"Yes. I can handle that... in fact, since you seem to think this guy is actually worth something, then I'm looking forward to meeting him. Does he..." here he hesitated for a moment, the smile dimming slightly, "remember... anything?"

Sesshoumaru responded with a pleased nod. "Yes. He retains all of Inuyasha's memories from the years spent chasing Naraku, and most of them from before. After Kagome was sent back, his memories become sketchy, but that is neither here nor there. I am satisfied that you will not be a hindrance, therefore, I will arrange for you to meet with Kagome tomorrow. Is that acceptable?"

Shippo nodded excitedly, his grin coming back full force. "More than! I can't wait to see her again. Thank you, Sesshoumaru-sama, for contacting me and letting me know that she was back." He stood, and with a low bow, waited for the daiyoukai to acknowledge it, then writing down the hotel he was staying at and handing him the card, he bowed once more and hurried off.

He had a lot to do before tomorrow. He wanted to find the perfect gift... something to give his mother after so long apart.

He hadn't been this happy since the day she'd disappeared.

Behind him, Sesshoumaru smiled slightly as he watched the kitsune hurry away.

_I have high hopes that this will turn out well. And once she has begun to make progress in her healing, I will share Inuyasha's message with her._

_But that is for another time.._

---cCc---

Kagome came to a halt when she reached the shed that her grandfather was in, and flinched. Yasha stood there, next to the old man, obviously helping him, and her heart gave a pained pulse; it almost felt blasphemous to her to see her beloved hanyou's coloring on a man who wasn't him. And then her heart lurched again, as she remembered that that same hanyou had rejected her and her heart, and she felt something inside twist, causing her to let out a tiny, pained gasp.

_He isn't Inuyasha... and that's a good thing. I gave everything I had to him, and he threw me away like so much garbage. Garbage then, and garbage now, I'll never be anything more._

She turned away slightly, blinking a bit to adjust her eyes better to the dimmer light inside the shed, and said, "I'm back, grandfather. What would you have me do?"

Hikari glanced over his shoulder at her. "Ahh, granddaughter, you've returned. I think I will have you assist myself and Yasha here in the shed with the inventory for the rest of the afternoon. The more help, the quicker it goes."

She stiffened slightly as he said that, and flicked a quick glance at the still figure of the hanyou standing off to the side, then nodded. _Very well, I can do this. He's just another person, that's all._

"Yes, grandfather. What do you want me to start with?"

"Go to that side and start pulling down boxes from the second shelf, we've already done the top, and set them here," he said, as he patted the floor to his side.

"Okay." Kagome moved over to the opposite side from Yasha, and began working, carefully pulling each box from the shelf and placing it where asked - making sure to take the largest first, and pile them on top of each other gently.

She watched Yasha surreptitiously as she worked, noting how he assisted her grandfather quietly. _So he's supposed to be Inuyasha's reincarnation. It's funny... that. He's in the spot I was in for so long. Talk about a turnabout._

So different, they were. Yasha's aura was completely different, although there was a very slight familiarity, and although his coloring was almost exact, his features were different. Of course, there were similarities there, as well, but he looked less like Inuyasha than she had looked like Kikyou. And his manner was very different. The hanyou she'd known and loved so much would never have been able to work quietly as Yasha was, nor spoken so respectfully to anyone.

He had been too damaged, and too hardened, to ever let something soft, like _respect_, and caring, show, and so he was always insulting and loud. Yasha didn't suffer from those same problems at all. He had a quiet confidence that shone through, and it was obvious that he had a very strong character. She wondered, idly, if he'd ever known hardship of any kind...

Not that it mattered, she supposed. Inuyasha had known plenty of hardship, and then he'd gotten what he'd always wanted, and the bitterness threatened to choke her for a moment. He'd gotten Kikyou, and then he hadn't needed her anymore, and he'd promptly gotten rid of her. Now it was her turn to deal with hardship... the hardship of having a dead heart. Too bad for her it was a lifetime sentence.

_I hope you were happy, Inuyasha, _she thought, as she turned her head from watching him and continued her work, shutting everything else out.

_Because I sure as hell am not... and never will be, either. Guess that wasn't my fate._

_I always wanted you to be happy, Inuyasha, even if it wasn't with me... but did you have to throw me away like that? I had no value to you, did I? _Another twist inside at that thought, and a tiny whimper forced itself past the tightness in her throat. _You took what you needed from me, and then tossed the rest aside as though I was a waste of time and flesh... and I guess, in the end, I was. I held the soul you wanted Kikyou to have, and if I was gone, she could come back._

_It was always about her... and it still is. If Kagome didn't mean anything then, then she doesn't now. She was just a place marker... a husk, something to hold the soul on this plane until she could be restored. I'm probably the same thing now - just holding the soul until she can be brought back again._

Yasha caught the whimper from her, small as it was, and his head jerked around to look at her as his heart pounded out a painful tattoo in his chest. It was such an agonized sound; she sounded lost, and sad, and he_ hated _it. She should _never _sound like that, she should only make happy sounds, and have eyes filled with joy, not that dead, sorrowful look.

Jaw clenched, he sighed then, an almost silent sound, and then he loosened his muscles, and asked, carefully casual, "Are you okay, Higurashi-san? Is the dust bothering you? I have a scarf you can tie around your face, if you should need to do so." He thought it would be best to make it seem as though the cause of her distress was something physical, and minor. It would perhaps make him seem less threatening... less of a painful reminder, and make her more comfortable without any references to both of their painful pasts.

Kagome started when he addressed her, eyes widening in shocked dismay. _Gods... he sounds so much like him, despite the more formal mode of speaking. It's almost frightening to hear Inuyasha's voice coming from a complete stranger._

She closed her eyes then, for a moment, trying to regain her equilibrium. "No, thank you, Taisho-san. I'm fine now... I just had to get used to the dust, that's all."

"If you're sure..." he trailed off, an obvious question in his voice.

"Yes, I'm okay. Thank you for your concern," she said, bowing slightly in his direction, keeping the exchange on the more formal side.

He nodded then, and bowed back, then turned and continued his work, a fleeting look of sadness crossing his face as he did so.

Hikari had watched the whole exchange with a guarded expression, and smiled slightly to himself. It was small, but it was progress. This was the first time Kagome had spoken to him without anger and bitterness.

But he wouldn't get his hopes up too high yet. With Kagome, it seemed that for every step forward, they ended up taking _two_ back.

Kagome never really just got to the point and go over it...

She always seemed to take the scenic route.

He shook his head and returned to his work, enjoying the quiet, and hoping it would last for a while.

They could all use the downtime.


	16. And Two Steps Back?

**Chapter 15: And Two Steps Back?**

Kagome stepped out of the shower and dried off, then taking another towel, wrapped it around herself and stepped from the bathroom, heading for her room. Just as she turned towards her door, her mother topped the stairs and spoke to her, startling her.

"Oh, there you are, dear. You should hurry and get dressed. Sesshoumaru will be stopping by soon, and he said he needed to speak to you."

She stiffened, for a moment, at that. _What could he possibly have to say to me now? I thought I said everything that needed saying the last time we spoke._

With a frown, she turned her head and looked at her mother. "Did he say why?"

Her mother shook her head. "No. Just that it was very important."

Sighing, Kagome nodded, then pushed open her door, preparing to enter her room. "Fine. I suppose I'd best hurry, then, since I still need breakfast, and then I have to work with grandfather in the shrine."

**"**Alright, dear. Breakfast is ready when you are." Aiko smiled and turned back down the stairs. _I wonder what Sesshoumaru is up to, _she mused idly, as she went back to her daily routine. _He's such a mysterious person..._

Kagome dressed hurriedly, wanting to get the meeting with the daiyoukai over with as soon as possible. The truth of the matter was, seeing him was painful. She didn't react badly to him because she was angry at him, after all, he'd had nothing to do with Inuyasha's betrayal. She avoided him because he reminded her of that which she'd lost... and that Inuyasha was dead - and the rest of her friends, as well.

It was as simple as that.

Leaving her room and heading to the kitchen to eat a quick breakfast, she thought about her friends... Miroku and Sango - and Shippo and Kirara. It hurt to know she'd never see them again... and she wondered if she'd ever find out about their lives. A surge of anger went through her at Inuyasha - he'd destroyed more than any possible relationship between them when he'd pushed her through the well: he'd destroyed everything from the years she'd spent on that side of the well chasing jewel shards.

Shaking off those thoughts for the time being, she ate her breakfast, and headed outside - she figured she may as well head to the shrine and begin helping her grandfather while waiting for Sesshoumaru, but she hadn't but just made it out the door when his aura surged over her, and she sighed in annoyance.

Turning, she asked, "Is there a reason you have to make the dramatic entrance, Sesshoumaru? Can't you just walk up the shrine steps like a normal person?"

With a raised brow, Sesshoumaru stared at her for a moment. "I am not a 'normal person', miko, you should know this by now. I do as I please, and it pleases me to avoid walking up all those stairs."

Kagome chuckled. "Lazy? I'd have never guessed that about you, Sesshoumaru."

With a slight sniff, he glared slightly at her. "I do not mind exercise at all, miko, however, it should be useful exercise, and walking up all those steps is not useful to me. It may be good exercise for your ningen body, but for this Sesshoumaru, it is a waste of time."

She rolled her eyes. "Okay, _Lord Sesshoumaru_, if you say so. So, what was so important that you had to come see me? I need to hurry here, I have to get to work with grandfather."

Sesshoumaru shook his head. "No, miko, you do not. I have already spoken to your grandfather and he has given you this day off. I have brought someone to see you. He has waited for many years to be near you again." With that, he stepped to the side, carefully watching her face.

Kagome stared at the person revealed as Sesshoumaru stepped aside, completely shocked. While she wouldn't have recognized him from his features alone, since he had still been a child the last time she saw him, she _did _recognize his youki... not to mention the tiny fire-neko sitting on his shoulder.

Shippo stared at her, almost overwhelmed. She looked the same as she had the day they defeated Naraku, and even though he knew, from Sesshoumaru, that for her, it had been only a matter of weeks, still, for him, it had been five hundred years, and it was difficult to reconcile the differences in the timeline.

Kirara, however, didn't have any difficulties with it, leaping from Shippo's shoulder straight at the miko with a tiny mew of joy, she landed right into arms that had automatically come out as soon as she'd seen Kirara jump towards her. Purring mightily, Kirara rubbed herself all over Kagome, obviously overjoyed to see her, and the sentiment was completely returned by the human girl.

"Kirara... Shippo..." her voice choked itself off, a huge lump taking up residence in her throat, leaving her unable to say anything else as Shippo launched himself at her. Tears pouring down her face, she hugged both of her beloved friends to her with all her might, content to stay right where she was for the rest of her natural life.

Sesshoumaru felt a warmth shift through him at the sight, glad that he had been able to find something that gave the girl so much joy... kami knew that it had been a commodity in short supply in her life lately. Turning, he cast one last glance at the three, then walked away, leaving them to be with each other.

This was their day, and he would not interfere. Casting his gaze into the goshinboku, he met his nephew's eyes, and forbid him to bother them with a sharp look, then, when he saw that his point had been made, he continued towards the entrance to the shrine, heading home.

He would find out the outcome of the day later.

---cCc---

For Yasha, watching the reunion going on before him was bittersweet. On the one hand, he was overjoyed to see her happy for once - he hadn't seen a true smile on her face since she'd come back through the well and it had sealed, and all he could think was that it was about time the kami gave her something to make her happy.

On the other hand, it was somewhat of a bitter draught, that he, who loved her so desperately, and wanted to bring her joy with all his heart, should only bring her pain. And even though, lately, she had mellowed from her original reaction to him, indifference wasn't that much easier to deal with than the hatred she'd originally thrown at him.

And then there was the other side of watching the three together.

For Yasha, seeing those three particular people in one place was almost like a very eerie case of deja vu. With all of the memories of the years spent on the quest for Naraku and the shards, came the vision of Shippo, _as a child._ But now, staring down at them, there was a grown version of the kitsune that his mind was telling him was a child...

Not very comfortable.

Kirara, on the other hand, didn't cause the same reaction, simply because she looked the same as she did in his memories of Inuyasha's life. Even so, it was still odd seeing her here, and he hoped that the two of them, Shippo and Kirara, would find it in them to get along with him - he'd like to be their friend, in this life as well... and hopefully, they wouldn't hold Inuyasha's actions against him - the actions that had ended the friendships between the group on that day, five hundred years in the past.

With a still uneasy sigh, he sat back against the trunk of the goshinboku, in the same spot that he had loved so in his life as Inuyasha, and settled in for a long wait.

He could well imagine that they would be spending the entire day together - and Yasha wasn't about to leave her without his protection... even if she didn't know he was there.

His previous self had let her go - _he_ wasn't so inclined.

---cCc---

Leading Shippo to the bench under the goshinboku, Kagome grinned, and shook her head. "I was just thinking about you guys earlier, Shippo - I can't believe you guys are actually here! I've missed you both so _much_..." she choked, tears beginning to pool in her eyes as her emotions began to overrun her again. At least this time, the tears were mostly happy... although there was also pain, down below, at the thought of the two that were missing... Sango, and Miroku.

Shippo sat down and pulled her back into his arms, rocking her and humming one of the lullaby's she used to sing to him when he was still a tiny kit. He could feel her smile against his shoulder.

"Yeah, I never forgot any of the songs you used to sing me to sleep with. Sometimes, when I'd get lonely, and miss you, I'd sing them to myself. Pretty pathetic, huh?" he asked with a chuckle.

Kagome shook her head. "No. I'm so sorry you were alone, Shippo. I'd never have left you alone if I'd had a choice, you know that, right?" She pulled away then, to look him in the eye.

He smiled at her happily. "I know, Kagome. That's why I'm here. I was never mad at you... none of us were. We knew whose fault it was that you'd gone." He frowned, then, and let out a small growl. "After he came back alone, holding the jewel, we knew... all of us. I swear, Sango almost killed him - the only thing that stopped her was Kaede. She told us the reason he sent you away... but none of us cared."

He looked away then, anger obvious in his gaze. "After Kaede finished speaking, Inuyasha made his wish, and of course, Kikyou was brought back to life. I guess he thought that we were all okay with it, since Kaede was behind them, so he was pretty shocked when Sango told him how we all _really_ felt. You could tell in that moment... she hated him, and as soon as she finished saying what she wanted to say, we all grabbed our stuff, and left. We never went back - any of us."

Kagome looked down, unsure how she felt about that. In some ways, she was glad, and yet, she knew that was wrong, so she also felt shamed that she felt that way. Then there was the sadness that things had ended so badly for the rest of the group... all the time they'd spent together, destroyed by one person's choice.

"I... don't know how to feel about that, Shippo. I guess it's just going to take some time to come to terms with it. Anyway, so what did you guys do then?"

He laughed. "We went to the slayer's village and fixed it back up. It didn't take long, really, before it was once again a thriving place, and, besides all of us missing you, you could say we were happy." Shippo glanced back at her. "Sango never got over the fact that she'd never see you again, you know. She was devastated, even more than me - because I knew I would see you again."

At that, a tiny mew was heard, and Kagome glanced down at the neko in her lap, to see Kirara staring at her solemnly, agreeing with Shippo.

A choked sob broke from Kagome then, and her head lowered, tears blinding her. "I miss her so much... she was closer to me than any sister could have been, and it hurts that I'll never see her, never hear her voice," she let out a choked half-laugh, half-sob, "hear her yelling 'Pervert!' at Miroku..." her voice broke off, throat tightening 'til she could barely draw air.

Tears flooded Shippo's eyes at that, and Kirara rubbed against her comfortingly as the kitsune pulled Kagome back into his embrace. "She told me to tell you when I saw you again, that she loved you... blood or not, you were family to her."

Kagome lay against his chest, helpless to stop crying as a huge sense of loss rolled through her, and reality finally, truly sank in: they were gone. She would never, ever see them again. And she hadn't even gotten to say goodbye.

In that moment, the walls she'd tried to build around her battered heart once again collapsed - and she hated Inuyasha with everything in her.

Loving him had literally cost her everything - her friends, her family, and even her very sanity.

Bitterly, she thought, then, that it wasn't worth it... _he _wasn't worth it.

And something within cried out with that thought, breaking down even further into pieces... shards so tiny, they may never be able to fit together...

Ever again.

---cCc---

Shippo just held her, and rocked her, until she finally cried herself to sleep, hurt, but knowing that she had to know the things he'd told her. It hurt her, but at the same time, it was a part of the healing process - she needed to _grieve_, and apparently none of the bakas around her had figured that out yet. They kept insisting on hiding things from her, and trying to keep her wrapped up in wool.

What they weren't figuring out, was that lying to her, whether straight out, or by emission, was only going to make things worse for her in the long run - teaching her that she couldn't trust any of them. She'd already lost enough, she didn't need to lose her family here as well - even through their own stupidity.

So, he'd told her what she'd needed to hear, even though he knew the others would probably be furious, and that, at least for a while, it would look like things were worse for her. In the end, it was true. Things _were_ worse for her - but that was the way things worked. They _always _got worse, before they got better, and he was prepared to stand by his decision to tell her the truth - they'd see when she began to come out of it that lying was _never _the best policy when dealing with a situation like this.

Straight up.

Besides... who gave them the power to take away her right to grieve for her friends - for the loss of people who she had loved? If they had been killed in an accident in this era, no one would have denied her that, so why did they just because it was in another era?

Even Kirara agreed with him.

With a sigh, Shippo picked the sleeping Kagome up and walked towards the house, wanting to get her settled into her bed so she could sleep. She was exhausted - and sleep would do her good.

---cCc---

Yasha was scared, and angry. He'd never expected the kitsune's visit to make things _worse_ with his beloved. Her broken-hearted sobs had broken off several more pieces of his own heart, but he couldn't really find it in himself to be angry at what the guy had done.

Because the truth was, her grief and pain was traceable back to only one person: Inuyasha.

Probably the best person right now to help her heal was the kitsune, and the neko, of course, as much as it hurt to know that it wasn't himself that she would turn to in her grief, he was prepared to step back. He would do anything to help her - even if that meant leaving her in someone elses hands to begin healing.

With that in mind, he hopped out of the tree, and walked up to the house, sliding the door back and entering, he removed his shoes, and entered the living room. With a sigh, he sat down on the couch, prepared to wait for as long as it took for Shippo to come back downstairs...

He had a question for him.

---cCc---

Shippo smiled wryly at Kirara, shaking his head. What a way to introduce yourself to someone - bringing in their daughter who's asleep in your arms.

At least Kagome's mother hadn't panicked - much. Once she'd realized that she was just asleep, she'd ushered him upstairs with nary an arguement, watching while he'd laid her on her bed, then smiled and led him back out of her room.

Once outside it, with the door shut, she'd introduced herself, and invited him to dinner, apparently eager to get to know the kitsune her daughter had loved so much.

As they walked down the stairs, however, he got quite the shock when his gaze lighted on the person sitting on the couch in the living room...

Despite the differences, he could tell immediately that _this _was Inuyasha's reincarnation...

The two males stared at each other, and it was up in the air how they would decide to react.

Aiko shuddered as she watched, hoping they decided to get along - for everyone's sakes.

---cCc---

A/N: Cliffy!!!!!


	17. A Meeting of Like Minds

**Chapter 16: A Meeting of Like Minds**

Yasha stared at the kitsune before him, still finding it difficult to reconcile this fully grown youkai to the child that lived in Inuyasha's memories. Uneasily aware that this little meeting could go either way, and not wanting to cause Kagome any more stress, he nodded politely, and smiled.

"So, Shippo. Wow. Uh," he chuckled, a hand going to the back of his head and scratching, "all grown up. You look... good. Life's treated you kindly, it looks like. The name's Yasha, by the way." He blushed a bit at not having said that first.

Shippo's eyes widened. "Holy shit! You sound just like Inuyasha!" His brow furrowed for a moment as he looked the Inuyoukai over. "You look different than he did, kinda, but there's still a resemblance. Wow. This is over the top, you know?"

Yasha grinned ruefully. "So... you know who I am, then?"

"Yeah," he said, slowly. "Lord Sesshoumaru told me about you. He said you're actually worth something, compared to Inuyasha."

"Well, uncle never did get along with his brother - that much I remember." With a dark look towards the stairs and the pained woman that lay in her room at the top of them, he scowled. "Can't say I blame him... Inuyasha was an ass that I really wish I could go back and kick the shit out of." At this, he glanced at the so far silent figure of Aiko, and blushed. "Sorry, Aiko-san, for the language."

She smiled at the two men, breathing a silent sigh of relief that they seemed to be getting along. "I understand, Yasha. Thank you for the apology."

At that, Shippo also blushed, remembering his profanity of a moment ago, and sheepishly added, "Yeah, me too, Aiko-san. I was just caught off-guard."

She chuckled. "Don't think about it again. I'll leave you two to talk - I need to get on dinner. Please, sit down and be comfortable," she said over her shoulder, as she left the room.

Shippo shook his head, sitting down in a chair opposite of the couch that Yasha had been sitting on, and leaned back, getting comfortable. With a thoughtful look at the hanyou, he scented him. "You're more youkai than human."

"My dad's hanyou, my mom's youkai, that's why. I only carry a quarter ningen blood. As weird as that sounds, I'm actually stronger than Inuyasha ever was - the blood of the Inu no Taisho runs strong in me, and with my mother's full youkai blood running through me as well..." he trailed off, shrugging.

"So... how long have you known?" he asked, with a meaningful glance at the ceiling, up towards the room of the young woman they both loved.

"Since I was old enough to know myself. No one ever hid anything - it was handed down from Inuyasha and Kikyou themselves that I'd be born, and just who Kagome was." He smiled, eyes far away for a minute. "Funny enough, I never thought to fight it. Most of the time," he rolled his eyes, "I hate someone telling me something that I supposedly have to do... but with this, it never occurred to me to fight it."

Shippo chuckled. "Well, Inuyasha was kinda that way, too. He hated anyone ever telling him anything." He met Yasha's eyes. "You've been protecting her for years on this side, haven't you?" As Yasha nodded, he finished, "She always talked about how much safer her time was - but we always wondered if it really was. It just didn't set that things could change so much - it might be safer, but how many places do you know that are_ completely _safe?"

A dark, haunted look crossed Yasha's face then, and Shippo frowned, an atavistic shiver tracing his spine. That look...

"Yeah, well you guys were right to worry. Kagome wasn't as safe as she always thought." Eyes flashing with anger and remembered fear, he continued softly, " There was one time... she had no notion that anything dangerous had happened... but..." he looked up and caught Shippo's eye, "there was a guy - an escaped convict. He had headed this way, trying to get into the forest preserves that surround this place - we still own the land around here - but anyway, Kagome was home alone."

Shippo was solemn, getting a good idea of where this was going, and nodded for the hanyou to continue.

Fists clenching, Yasha stared at his hands for a minute. "He snuck up on the house, and when he caught sight of her... the scent of his arousal sent me over the edge." He growled low in his chest, Shippo also growling at the thoughts brought on by what he was hearing. "The guy was a known rapist and murderer - and the bastard targeted _my_ Kagome! Needless to say... she never knew he was even there before I had him gone. That's only one out of many, many instances."

Shippo sighed. "I'm glad you were there... how old was she?" he asked softly.

"Sixteen." He caught the kitsune's eye. They both knew what that meant. That was during the time she'd been with them on the other side of the well.

"Kami," he breathed. "That... that really scares me. And she never knew?"

"Nope. I knew she couldn't catch sight of me at that time - not while she was still with you guys." He sighed, then. "It hurt, you know," he said, barely above a whisper. "Having to watch her cry over and over again because she loved _him_... and I couldn't even so much as introduce myself to the one woman I was made to be with." He looked away, staring at the wall.

"I hated it."

---cCc---

Unnoticed by either of the two males in the living room, Kagome stood on the stairs, and listened to the conversation. She'd woken from sleep quickly - and headed for the bottom floor of the house immediately. When she realized who the two voices belonged to, she'd frozen in place... and stiffened up even more when she'd heard what Yasha had said.

_All those years... I never knew that I was being protected. _A shudder went through her as she contemplated what could have happened to her if that man had gotten his hands on her. She remembered that criminal - it had been all over the news that he'd gotten away... and no one had ever found him, despite a massive manhunt.

Now she knew why.

Much as she hated killing, she couldn't really find any pity for the guy - after all, he was responsible for raping and killing quite a few women. He would only have destroyed more lives if he'd gotten away...

Including her own.

With an indrawn breath, she glanced at the young hanyou sitting in her living room, and for the first time, her eyes softened on him.

_Maybe... I've been a little mean to him, haven't I? Do I, somewhere deep down, really blame him for what Inuyasha did to me?_

Face thoughtful, but sad, she looked at him for a few moments, the slipped back up the stairs, needing the safety of her room. She had a lot to think about.

---cCc---

Shippo looked out the window thoughtfully. "So, your family still owns Inuyasha's forest, eh?"

Yasha nodded, letting out a deep breath, he glanced at the kitsune gratefully for changing the subject.

"Yeah. It's been held since the days of Inuyasha. That's why it's still forest... and why the shrine is here. Inuyasha wasn't about to let anything get in the way of Kagome's future birth and home here."

He snorted. "Seems to me like he waited 'til a little too late to care, but then again, I'm beginning to see that you'd be a much better bet than him for her."

The hanyou blushed, just slightly, and smirked. "Thanks for that..." he glanced at him, then folded his arms across his chest and looked out the window as well. "Keh. I have a question for you. Something I just want you to think about - you don't need to answer right away or anything."

At that, Shippo looked intrigued. "Okay, go for it."

Yasha nodded, then turned his face back to him and met his eyes solemnly. "Kagome's really having a hard time with all of this... and sometimes, even her family becomes overwhelming to her. If she needs a place to run to... can she count on you? Can she run to your place to feel safe?"

Shippo sat back, surprised. He could tell how hard it had been for the hanyou to ask him that, and he was impressed. This guy really cared about Kagome - even over himself. Knowing that he saw Kagome as his mate, he had expected the inu to be completely against her running to anyone else for comfort or protection - it was instinct. But it was obvious that the guy really did love Kagome, and was fighting off all his instincts to do what was best for her.

This was an inu he could respect.

"I don't have to think about it at all. Kagome can come to me anytime she needs to. She treated me like her own son when I was an orphaned kit in a time where that would have meant my death. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her... and Kirara would be just as happy to have her around."

With a relieved sigh, Yasha smiled at him. "I'm glad. I know that she'll be safe with you. Thanks, Shippo."

The kitsune nodded and smiled back.

_Great minds think alike, they say, and both of ours are set on protecting Kagome. _

_We'll both do anything it takes. And that makes him far more worthy than Inuyasha ever was._

---cCc---

Hojo knocked on the door, hoping to catch the Lady of the House - he wanted to talk to her, and see if it was okay for him to start talking to Kagome again.

He waited patiently for the door to open, and when it did, he was glad that he was facing her mother instead of her brother. The boy had never seemed to care for him much, and always tried to turn him away when he could.

"Hello, Higurashi-san. I was hoping that I could visit with Kagome... if she's feeling better, that is."

He pasted on his most earnest expression, and her face clouded a bit, before she sighed, and said, "Let me see if she will see you, young man, but do not stay long. We have guests, and it is almost dinner."

He bowed politely, following her into the living room, where he stopped, noting the guests she'd mentioned. As his eyes adjusted to the light in the room, he blanched in shock.

"You! I... remember you, you're that guy from the festival that time! I thought you were dead."

Yasha glared over at the ningen boy. "Oh, great, not you. And no, I wasn't the guy that you're talking about - he was a... relative, and yes, he's dead, thanks very much."

Hojo's eyes narrowed on him. "Then how do you know who I am?"

"Because you've been bothering Kagome for years and never got the damn message that she doesn't want you... that's how. How oblivious can you get?"

The boy flushed red at that, but before he could speak, the other person in the room grabbed Yasha's elbow and shook his head.

"Who's this, Yasha?"

"This little punk is called Hojo."

Shippo burst out laughing after a minute. "So _this_ is the baka that wouldn't leave Kagome alone... boy, you have _no idea _of how many times she complained about how clueless you were. She always tried to be nice, but she couldn't seem to get it through your head that she didn't like you that way." He looked the now hotly flushing boy over, and shook his head. "You certainly _look _clueless, that's for sure."

The room grew silent for a minute, and Kagome came down the steps, obviously reluctant. Hojo glared over at the other two males, then bowed and smiled at Kagome.

"Kagome-chan, could I talk to you," he threw another glare at the two guys, "_privately_?"

Kagome narrowed her eyes at Hojo, suddenly annoyed. _Who told him he could call me so familiarly? Maybe it's time to set him straight once and for all._

She gestured towards the door. "We can step outside, then."

Hojo cast her a startled look... he'd been hoping to be invited up to her bedroom, but followed her suggestion, and walked towards the front door, stepping out, then sliding it shut politely behind her.

He held out his arm and asked, "Would you walk with me?"

Kagome frowned, and stepped back in denial. "Why are you here, Hojo-san?" She hoped that by addressing him formally, he'd begin to get the message.

He let his arm drop, then, suddenly unsure. "Well, I was hoping we could just talk. Your mother told me you lost some friends recently... I'm sorry for the loss."

With a resigned sigh, Kagome nodded to herself. Putting a hand to her head and pinching the bridge of her nose, she tried to keep her irritation from spreading.

"Look, Hojo, I know why you're here. You want to ask me out on a date, right? I'm going to be blunt. I will not date you. Not now, not ever. You're a nice enough guy, Hojo - but you're not for me, okay?" As his face paled, she patted his arm. "No matter how hard you try, my mind's not going to change, so why don't you stop chasing me, and go find a girl that actually wants to date you? I'm not looking for a relationship of any kind right now, anyway... I just got out of a bad one, and I am _definitely _not looking for more."

She shook her head at his hopeful look, and cut him off before he could start. "No, Hojo. I won't change my mind if you wait 'til I'm over my last relationship. You just aren't my type - and that's not going to change."

Hojo looked at Kagome, feeling crushed. _If she won't let me wait for her... then maybe if I try to date someone else, she'll get jealous... I don't have anything to lose, may as well try it. I just can't bear to give up._

Nodding, he bowed politely to her and said, "Forgive me, Higurashi-san. I will take my leave of you now so you can get back to your guests." With that, he turned and walked off.

Kagome watched him go, then breathed a sigh of relief.

_Finally. Now maybe he'll leave me alone._

_If only taking care of all my problems were that easy._

---cCc---

Inside the house, two men sat and strained their ears, listening to the conversation going on outside.

As Kagome made her little speech, the two looked at each other and grinned.

Yasha popped his knuckles. "Keh. I've always wanted to beat that little punk up, you know? He's such a pain in the ass..."

Shippo snorted, then laughed. "Yeah, well, you should have heard some of the things she used to say about him." Turning, he put his hand on Yasha's back and guided him towards the kitchen, saying, "Yasha, my new friend, let me tell you about some of the names our Kagome used to come up with in reference to the aforementioned pest."

The two were gone by the time the girl came back into the house... and that was perhaps a good thing - because if she'd heard the discussion they were having...

They might have found themselves chased out of the house, and missing dinner.

---cCc---

A/N: And that's another chapter down. Don't worry, there's more Hojo being clueless coming up sooner or later. Anyway, hope everyone enjoys the chapter - I'm not sure I'm totally happy with it, but I just couldn't get into it, so this isn't really my best work. It's not my worst, either, though, LOL!

Amber


	18. A Fox's Wisdom

**Chapter 17: A Fox's Wisdom**

Time passed, as it always does, and those closest to Kagome noted how subdued she'd grown, often lost in her thoughts - and in memories of the past.

She'd continued to see Mika, cooperative towards her and whatever tasks she set, and it seemed as though she was finally coming to accept what had happened to her.

For those on the outside looking in, while she seemed sad, she appeared to have lost the rage that had been driving her for so long - and everyone thought that was a good thing. And in some ways, it was.

But in others...

The truth was that she'd lost the ability to care too much about anything. Everything she did was by rote... habit. She interacted with her family, was polite to Yasha, and visited with Shippo - but it never went past the surface of her mind.

She was in mourning.

There was just so much sadness inside that it overwhelmed everything else, paralyzing her, and keeping her locked in a dream world of greys and shades of black. Outside, she kept up appearances... but inside... inside, all color, all hope had been lost from her, and she merely drifted along, going with the current and ignoring _life._

Life, however, fortunately in this case, doesn't allow you to ignore it for long, and so, on a day that was much like any other, she found strange thoughts filtering through her consciousness - ones that made her sit up and_ think_, rather than drift...

Kagome sighed, lifting her head and looking around the shed absently. She'd been assigned the task of taking inventory and cleaning this shed by her grandfather, and as usual, she had accepted the job without comment, letting her mind drift as she worked.

But it all seemed so pointless - going over the same things day in and day out. It wasn't like the things that were there yesterday were going to be gone today - so why did her grandfather keep handing her the same things over and over?

Was it to give her busywork? Something she could do without really having to think about it?

Probably... but where before, that would have bothered her, where once she would have thought she was being handed a sop because she wasn't good enough for anything else, now, she just accepted it. Good enough, or not, in the end, it didn't matter.

It was then that she began to wonder, in a curiously ironic inversion of the idea behind the life that fate had handed her, what it would be like when she died... and was reincarnated again. Sure, she'd been told that she was supposed to be the final form of her soul, and that her next stop would be her final destination... but she didn't really believe it. How could a soul such as hers, one that was so shattered, be ready for paradise?

So... what would it be like when she became someone else?

She turned that thought over and over in her mind that day... not realizing that her mind was waking - just a little.

But it was a first step - and for all that it was a small one, it was significant on its own...

Perhaps her season of mourning was finally beginning to come to a close.

---cCc---

Sesshoumaru had kept close tabs on her, right from the beginning, and he was pleased with things as they were... she was finally starting to wake. Of course, it was in tiny increments, and while the slow pace was frustrating at times, it was better for her - it gave her time to adjust to each thing before moving on to deal with the next.

Kagome had always been a talker, and while she'd been open, there was always a part of herself she'd kept back. Now, she had changed. She had become an intensely private person - and that was something that he could appreciate, since he himself had always been the same.

It had taken he and Mika a great deal of time dealing with both families on this very same issue - her mother and Yasha being the hardest to get to understand. Both were bothered that she'd changed so much, insisting that her behavior was _wrong... _that it wasn't her.

But that was the problem. It _was_ her - the person that she was becoming. They just didn't want to accept that Kagome was not the same person she had been, she had changed. No one who'd been through what she had would have been able to remain the same. Kagome Higurashi had grown up - she'd gone through the fire, and been reborn from the ashes of the life she'd lived before.

It wouldn't be long before Mika would begin introducing Kagome to the idea of seeing her with Yasha - together. She had come to accept that he needed counseling for their shared experiences, as well, although she still had not warmed up to the idea of them as a couple.

Even there, however, there had been progress. She'd calmed towards him considerably, treating him decently enough, although still a bit distantly. The biggest step had been when she'd finally seen that just because Inuyasha was out of reach and she couldn't torch him in her anger at what he'd done to her, didn't mean that_ Yasha _was an acceptable replacement.

He sat back, folding his hands before him, and considered the secret he was still keeping. Inuyasha had given him a message to pass on to Kagome - and he wondered... when would be the time to do so? Would she ever be ready to hear it? Perhaps it was time to ask his daughter what she thought about it.

Picking up his phone, he dialed her number, waiting patiently for her to answer.

"Mika. It is nearing lunchtime - can you get away and meet me at the tea-house near your office? There is something I need to consult with you about."

He heard her sigh. "Yes, father, I have an hour free for lunch. Meet me in, say... twenty minutes?"

"Very well. Twenty minutes." He hung up, and standing, moved towards the door of his study, calling for Jaken and making it clear that he was to remain undisturbed for the next hour unless the world was ending, then strode off to his car.

It was only a matter of fifteen minutes before he found himself turning into the parking lot of his daughter's office, parking, he locked the car and headed for the tea-house, knowing that Mika would already be there.

Sure enough, as soon as he entered, the maitre'd bowed and escorted him to her table, seating him and taking his order with quiet efficiency.

He waited until the man had moved away, then spoke. "I find I have need of your opinion on a matter of... timing."

Mika cocked a brow at her father, curious, interested in his choice of phrase. "Yes?"

"I will have your word that this will not be mentioned to anyone else, daughter, before I speak."

This time, both brows raised into her bangs, and she nodded sharply. "You have it."

He accepted her word with a nod of his own. "Before Inuyasha died, he sought me out, and requested that I pass a message on to Kagome. This was something he wanted to come from _him_, not be passed on by his reincarnation, and so, after he told me, he asked me to wipe it from his memory." He could see Mika's surprise, and he continued, knowing he had aroused her curiosity.

"I am not going to repeat the message to you, it is for her ears only. However... I find myself... uncertain of the appropriate timing in this. I do not want to tell her, only to cause her more grief, and trouble. That is why I want your opinion."

She released a soft breath, and shook her head. This was an... unexpected development, and since her father was not willing to give her even the gist of the message, she couldn't say based on its contents when the best time to pass it on would be.

But... she could make an educated guess just based on the fact of who it was from... and who it was for.

Looking up at her father in a straightforward manner, she said, "It is difficult to be sure of anything when I do not know the message. But, I _can_ say that it would not be best to tell her now. It is too soon, and she is still in mourning. She needs no more shocks right now." Steepling her fingers thoughtfully, she looked down at them, mind going over the possibilities.

"I would say... it would probably be best to wait 'til she is completely stable again, and well on the way to the rest of her life. Definitely, until her relationship with Yasha has gotten much deeper than it is now."

Sesshoumaru considered her for a moment. "Why so long?"

"Because we need to wait until her heart is cleared of Inuyasha - we don't want this to cause a relapse, for it to make her look back again, rather than forward."

"I see. So," he looked away, eyes going distant, "it is your considered opinion that I should continue to keep this secret for some time to come, then."

"Yes, father. I do not want to undo the progress that we have made with her - it has been little enough as it is, and she is still in a very dangerous place... one where the slightest thing could cause her to go back under." She sighed, then, a bit of weariness entering her voice. "At this point, too many more shocks, and we could lose her entirely. It is dangerous, right now, you understand."

He nodded. "Very well. I accede to your knowledge in this, daughter. I will wait. Keep this in mind, and when you feel she is ready, bring it to my attention."

"Yes, father." She glanced at her watch, then drank the last of her tea, watching as her father finished his, then bowed her head to him. "I need to get back, my next appointment is usually early. I will see you this weekend for dinner, unless something happens between now and then."

"Be well, daughter." He nodded in acknowledgment, then placed the money for the bill on the table and left.

Standing on the sidewalk, he put his hands in his pockets and looked up at the sky.

_It is still not the time, brother. You did too much damage, and it is taking the god's own time to repair the miko._

_If she even can be fixed._

His daughter's words rang in his ears as he walked to his car.

_"At this point, too many more shocks, and we could lose her entirely. It is dangerous, right now, you understand."_

_Look what you have wrought, Inuyasha. Even dead, you still continue to destroy._

---cCc---

Shippo smiled at the woman sitting next to him on the park bench, glad to see the warmth in her eyes. It had been missing for far too long. Right now, it was still just a tiny spark, not the normal flame, and would be easily extinguished, he knew, if something happened to her, but it was, at least, _something, _where for so long there had been _nothing._

"So, talk to me, K'gome. How... are you feeling? Really."

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, then looked away, staring out over the fields, summer flowers dotting the grass here and there, and adding bright color splashes to the verdant green. It reminded her of the past.

"I'm... well, to be honest, I don't really know how I am. Sometimes, I'm numb, and other times... it hurts. It - I don't like to remember." She sighed, a long, slow exhalation filled with sadness. "And yet... I can't help but to do so."

He nodded, at least she was being honest. "You know... I always did say Inuyasha," he glanced at her and saw her wince, "was a baka. And he knew he was, too. He made a mess of things." He turned his face away, saddened at the memories, at the way things had turned out.

Kagome shook her head. "Yeah... well, it just makes me mad that I have to pay the price for his stupidity. Love hurts, Shippo - and I don't think I want to walk that path anymore. I don't think I _can_, if something like this happened again, I know I wouldn't survive."

"I know you're angry at him, Kagome, and the truth is, I was for a long, long time, as well. But..." he glanced at her again, trying to judge her response to his words, "he couldn't fight fate. You know that can't be done, what the kami decide, goes, no matter how much we hate that thought. It was _fate _that brought you back here, not Inuyasha, so to keep blaming him for following the path set for him by the kami just hurts you."

She thought about that for a while, eyes forward but unseeing. Was it really that easy? Should she really be railing against the kami, and not Inuyasha himself? She'd always thought of following fate as a duty - which is why she'd stayed in the past, in the beginning... it had been her duty to help reassemble the jewel.

So why was it so different for Inuyasha? If the kami had decided that his place was back there, and hers was here - why was she being so unfair as to blame him for an obedience that she herself had always given to the ways of the kami?

Eyes wide, she turned her gaze on Shippo. "When did you get to be so wise, my little fox? I never... thought about it in that light before." She looked down at her hands, then, and frowned, suddenly a bit unhappy with herself. "Now I feel kinda bad about blaming it all on Inu all this time. Don't get me wrong, I'm still mad at what he did, pushing me away before I could even say goodbye and all... but..." she trailed off as Shippo spoke up.

"But blaming him for what he did, as opposed to _how _he did it, are two different things." He nodded at her. "Find peace within yourself for his actions, Kagome. I really want _my _Kagome to come back, you know. I've missed her for five hundred years."

She smiled then, a small one, but still a smile, and bumped his shoulder with hers. "I missed you, too, Shippo, even though for me it was only weeks, still... I'm glad you're here." She giggled then, and Shippo grinned to hear it. "You know... it's funny. For all that I've been seeing Mika, the professional, she has yet to help me in a more profound way than you just did. You made me finally see something I'd been missing - and in only a few words. Maybe you should become a counselor," she teased.

He shuddered at that. "No way! I'd go crazy listening to strangers whine at me all day." He tossed her a mischievous look. "It's different when it's family that's whining at you."

She mock glared at him as he chuckled. "Fine, see if I talk to you anymore, oh whiny fox. I happen to remember a small kit that coud whine with the best of them - and did, frequently."

Shippo laughed at that. "Yeah... but my whining had a point, and the point was funny. Inuyasha getting sat was always enough to make my day interesting."

She joined him, laughing a bit at the memories. "I know. You always did everything you could to rile him up and get him in trouble."

He snorted at that. "Well, someone had to, or he'd get so cocky there'd be no living with him." He shook his head at the memories, glad to be able to talk about them with her. He sighed, then. "You know, when Sesshoumaru told me about Yasha, the first thing that crossed my mind was, 'I wish he had a rosary, too'... because I _really_ miss the sits. Then, when I actually met him, I felt guilty about that."

Kagome pressed a hand to her mouth, trying not to laugh. "Oh, no, you _didn't, _did you, Shippo? Yasha is a totally different person, you know."

He nodded. "In a way he is, and yet, in a way, he's not. He's... I don't know - he's like Inuyasha could have been, if life had treated him different back then. There's so many differences, but... he still feels... familiar, I guess, is the word. From the minute I saw him, I knew who he was, and would have, even if I was blind. He's like... _Inuyasha_, improved. Grown up. Do you know what I mean?"

She frowned thoughtfully. "Well, I...uh," she blushed, looking away, "I... really haven't paid any attention to him, to be honest," shame clouding her face as she admitted that. "All I could see was who he was _not_, so I didn't pay any attention at all to who he _is."_

"Maybe... maybe you _should, _Kagome. Because, if you'd never gone to the past, and never met Inuyasha, you would still have met _Yasha..._ and you'd have been with him, instead. In a way, _Inuyasha_ was the interference, not Yasha." He glanced at her, noting the flash of hurt in her eyes. "We can't change what's happened, and I'm not saying to go throw yourself at Yasha and act like he's Inuyasha and you love him just because fate said so. What I'm saying is get to know him. Don't shut him out just because you're angry at Inuyasha, and at fate."

He met her eyes as she looked up at him. "Give him the chance to at least be a friend, Kagome. He really is a great guy."

She stared at him for a few, then looked out at the horizon, blurring the line between past and present in her mind's eye.

_Should I? Can I even do what he's asking? I know, if I'm going to be honest, if the situation were reversed, that I would be telling him the same thing... and that should be answer enough, really. _

_Now... if I could get rid of the rest of this anger..._

_Maybe I could finally gain some happiness._

"I'll... think about it, Shippo. Just - give me a little time, okay?"

"That's all I ask, Kagome. Just think about it."

They smiled at each other, rising to their feet, they made their way back to the shrine, a new sense of peace flowing between them and twining within Kagome's heart.

---cCc---

Later that evening, she growled in anger, that peacefulness forgotten, as she stared at her bedroom walls. She knew the things that Shippo had said were true - that he was right in what he'd told her. And that wasn't the problem - she could see where she'd been wrong in some of the things she'd thought, and in where she'd placed some of the blame.

The problem was herself. Or more accurately, the part of herself that had been Kikyou.

She still hated that, and felt like a mere copy of the dead woman, still felt as though she wanted to claw her way out of her own body, just to get away from that woman's fragment of soul that was taking up space inside her.

In the end, as she stared at the walls, she realized that that was the worst part of this whole mess. Not Inuyasha, and her misplaced love for him, not what he'd done, or how he'd done it... but the fact that she was stuck with that horrid woman's soul. She felt violated having that thing inside her, and wished with all her might that they hadn't forced her to take that bit of soul back into her.

_Why_ did she even have to have it? Couldn't it go somewhere else? Go _torture_ someone else? Being blunt, it was like being raped constantly, having someone else invading your body without your permission. Because no matter what anyone said, she wasn't Kikyou, and she didn't want to be, either. She really, truly, didn't want anything to do with that woman, and was bitterly angry that she had that piece of Kikyou poisoning her. It was bad enough that she'd screwed her life up back in the past - now she was doing it here in the present, too.

All she truly wanted was to be freed of Kikyou - forever.

She wanted to be out from under her shadow.

Suddenly, she understood how Kagura had felt about Naraku. She'd never thought she'd feel pity for the kaze youkai...

Now...

She did.

_But at least she found freedom from him, in the end, even if only in death. When will I find my freedom from Kikyou's taint inside my soul?_

---cCc---

Not sure I'm really happy with this chapter, the way it came out, but for what it's worth, here it is. In the end, I think this is how I would have reacted to this kind of situation - I'd eventually get over the guy... but being forced to keep a part of someone I disdained so much_ inside _me? That, in the end, would be what drove _me_ crazy.

So... we are getting to the part of the story where there will start to be more interaction between Kagome and Yasha. At first, Shippo will be with them, keeping things on the level of casual friends. It will still be a little bit before things get more intimate between them.

Amber


	19. Just Friends

**Chapter 18: Just Friends**

Yasha was sitting in his favorite spot in the goshinboku, lost in the few memories he had of Kagome. Well, he had a lot of memories of her, but in none of them, was there any interaction between the two of them.

And that was because she couldn't see him. Because of the past - and the well. So he'd spent most of his life protecting her, loving her - all from afar, and hoping that the whole nightmare would someday end.

It had, sure enough - but not with the results he'd hoped for.

Instead of her finally being free to live her life again, free to meet him, free to get to know him, and someday love him as he did her, she'd been even further trapped by the past - trapped in pain, heartbroken and filled with anger towards his own past self.

And because of that, she'd rejected even the thought of getting to know _him_.

Things with her had eventually eased up - at least now she didn't burn with hatred every time she saw him, but beyond that, there wasn't much contact. When they did cross paths, she was polite... but distant, and every day spent watching that look in her eye hurt more and more.

It had left him feeling like parts of himself were being eaten away - and he didn't know if he could ever heal from this. There was just too much that hurt, now.

He sighed, and lowered his head to rest on his knees. Some days, it was all he could do to get out of bed - and the only reason he was here now, was because Shippo had called and asked him to meet him here, so now he was just trying to keep out of Kagome's way while waiting. He just couldn't stand the thought of that distant look in her eye directed at him - he hurt enough already.

_It would have been better if I'd left after hauling her out of the well. At least then, she could move on with her life... and I - I could have... who am I fooling? I'd have spent the rest of her life following her from a distance, protecting her, and then thrown myself from a fucking cliff when she finally died._

He chuckled bitterly.

_After all, what am I without her?_

_Nothing._

---cCc---

Shippo was excited.

After the talk he'd had with Kagome the other day, he'd left her alone to contemplate the things he'd told her, all the while hoping that she'd agree to begin hanging out with him - _and_ Yasha.

It was readily apparent that the poor guy was suffering badly, and Shippo hated to watch it. He was in love with Kagome, there was no denying that - it overlaid everything the male did or said. Everything was about her - about keeping her safe, and trying to make her happy.

But it was wearing on him - to love the girl so much and yet be treated as though he had a contagious disease - a person could only take so much, and Yasha was wilting... hard. He needed an infusion of hope desperately, and moving forward in any way into some sort of _positive_ relationship with Kagome could only help.

Thus, Shippo's plan.

Get Kagome to be willing to be friends, and spend time with him. From there, he was pretty damn sure that she would eventually come to fall in love with him, herself. After all, she'd fallen for Inuyasha, and as he'd told her, Yasha was like Inuyasha - only as he could have been if he hadn't been so broken when she'd found him and pulled him from that tree.

It was sometimes hard to believe that Yasha was really a _reincarnation_ of Inuyasha - Yasha was everything that Inuyasha should have been - different, but the same.

Kikyou and Kagome, however - those two were a totally different story.

Kagome was nothing like Kikyou. Kikyou had been self-centered, full of jealousy and hatred, and even once she was restored, she'd taken a great deal of entertainment in putting down her reincarnation every chance she'd gotten - even after Kagome had gone. She'd gloated, more than once, from what he'd been told, about how Kagome had lost out because she wasn't good enough for anything.

He'd heard that towards the end of her life, she'd begun to feel badly for how she'd behaved, but Shippo scoffed at that idea: it was more like she'd realized that she was about to die - and be reborn as that same person she'd treated so badly. She probably worried about the suffering that she was about to heap on... herself.

_Stupid wench, anyway. Never could understand how Inuyasha could force himself to be around her. Although I gathered from what Sango told me, the few times they were around the two after Kagome left that anytime Kikyou made a bad comment about Kagome, Inuyasha would go ballistic on her. I actually woulda loved to see that..._

He chuckled at the visual he got from that one. Yeah, he would really have loved to see that bitch get put in her place.

He looked up from his musings and realized that he had already reached the shrine, and bolting up the steps, he headed for the tree... he could feel Yasha's youki coming from there - youki that was dark and swirled with misery and anguish.

_Got to put a stop to that, right now._

"Oi, Yasha, get your butt down here, man, and stop acting like your best friend just died - you wanna get Kagome all depressed again?"

He grinned as the hanyou dropped from the tree and grabbed his shirt.

"Don't fuck with me, Shippo, what the hell do you mean by that?"

"I_ mean_, you baka, that Kagome has agreed to start hanging out with _both_ of us... she's willing to be friends with you. For right now, that's what you're gonna get, but, if you're as smart as I think you are, you'll find a way to sneak your way into her heart." He smacked him on the head until Yasha let go of his shirt. "Or am I giving you too much credit?"

Yasha froze as he took in what Shippo was saying, and hope, so long denied, thumped through his broken heart, leaving him almost light-headed with happiness.

"She's really willing to be around me?" He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. "You mean it, right? This isn't a joke or anything, is it?"

At that, Shippo frowned and smacked him in the head again. "What the hell, Yasha? Fuck, do you really think I'd do something like that? Sure, I like a good joke, but I know what to use for them, and what not to use. Shit," he mumbled, "I can't believe you even asked me that."

The hanyou flushed and lowered his head, ashamed. "Sorry, man... it's just - this has been a really hard road, and I'm starting to lose all sense of proportion in things."

Shippo nodded. "Forget it, Yasha. It's okay - just don't fuck this whole thing up, got it?" Clapping him on the shoulder, he said, "Wait here - I'll go get our girl."

Yasha swallowed hard, almost afraid to see her, and yet excitement hit him, making him clench his fists hard.

_Gods, please... please let this be a good beginning, finally - let both of us find some peace. It's not like we haven't suffered enough... _

---cCc---

Kagome was flustered.

Badly.

This was the first time that she would be willingly spending a day in Yasha's company. Of course, Shippo would be there as a buffer, so to speak, but still... in a way, this one day was really bringing it home that she was here, in her birth era, and that everything she'd been living for the last several years was gone, done - _over. _

Sango and Miroku, Kaede... Inuyasha - they were all dead and gone, they'd lived their entire lives out there, in the distant past - and she'd missed all of it.

Now... she was having to figure out how to live her life in the present - a life that she didn't really fit into anymore. Oh sure, she knew how to live here, how to get along - but she didn't_ fit in _anymore.

None of this stuff was really important.

When you've spent years chasing down an evil being of the likes of Naraku, and fighting for your life everyday, listening to your old friends yap about boys and clothes just made you sick... and bored. She didn't have anything in common with her old school friends anymore - and she didn't really want to be around them.

She didn't hate them, or anything like that, she just didn't fit with them now.

And that was where it was such a blessing to have Shippo, and Kirara.

True, Kirara couldn't just come and hang with them anywhere unless they were at Shippo's place or her own, but at least she was _there. _And Shippo - he knew the things she went through, because he shared those experiences with her.

Yasha... well, that was where things got sticky. Sure, he had Inuyasha's memories, most of them, anyway, but it wasn't quite the same. While he could talk about those things as well as Shippo could, it was still different, because he was talking about _someone elses memories, _not his own.

In a way, as Kagome thought about it, she almost felt sorry for him. Once again, he was put into a position of being caught between two worlds, part of both - and yet fitting fully into neither... come to think of it, she was kinda in the same boat, on a different end of the spectrum.

_Sheesh._

She scowled as she thought about it... couldn't the damn kami find some _other _people to fuck with?

As far as she was concerned, they'd gotten enough entertainment out of her and the predicament that she'd found herself in - they needed to move on and find someone else to friggin pick on.

She stared thoughtfully out her bedroom window, waiting for Shippo to arrive, and almost absently noted Yasha's presence in the goshinboku. She frowned as she felt his aura... he was really not feeling very happy, and she felt kinda bad about that, if the truth were to be told.

It wasn't that she could help how she felt about the situation she found herself in, and she couldn't and wouldn't fake feelings for a guy she didn't even really know - but she could feel bad for him, she wasn't the type to enjoy another person's suffering.

Not even the reincarnation of the person who'd put her heart through hell and back.

Reincarnation of Inuyasha or not, it wasn't Yasha's fault, what Inu had put her through, and not really his either.

As hard as it was to admit... she should never have allowed herself to love the hanyou.

She was from the future, he was from the past, and they were not meant for each other. If they had been, Kikyou would never have been able to come between them.

So... that left Yasha.

She knew what he hoped for, and she just didn't think she could give him what he wanted. Even touching him was hard for her, because, no matter how distant, he still carried Kikyou's DNA, and even the thought of that woman had Kagome in an uproar - similar to a pissed off cat, if she had fur, it'd be fluffed out at every mention of that horrible bitch.

Not to mention, that somewhere inside him, was a part of Inuyasha.

She just couldn't stand the thought... and so to think of having a relationship with him beyond that of friend just made her uneasy.

With another sad glance at the goshinboku, she sighed, then turned away from her window.

_I'm sorry, Yasha. I just don't think anything like that's gonna work. I think that you should just move on and find someone else._

_It would hurt you less - and I'd feel better knowing that you were happy._

_I want you to be - it just won't be with me._

---cCc---

Shippo hopped up the stairs, heading for Kagome's room. He wanted to make sure she was still okay with this whole thing - that she could handle it without making anything worse.

He knocked on her door, calling out, "Kagome? Can I come in?"

She pulled it open and smiled nervously at him. "Sure, Shippo." She glanced around behind him somewhat cautiously, and he shook his head. "Yasha's waiting outside, I told him I'd come get you."

She nodded thankfully and drew a deep breath, then exhaled, motioning him in, she moved over and sat on her bed.

"So... what are we doing today?"

"Well... what would you like to do? I don't really care, I walked over here, but we can always head to my place and get my car if we need to."

Kagome tilted her head thoughtfully, finger to her chin, and Shippo smiled. She'd always had that habit... it was strangely comforting to see her still doing it.

"Hmm... well, it's kinda a nice day - how about something outdoors?"

Shippo shrugged. "Sounds good."

Kagome smiled at him a bit uneasily. "Maybe we should let Yasha have some input on this - maybe he has an idea..." she trailed off at the weighted glance Shippo sent her.

"Kagome... are you sure you can handle this? Yasha's in pretty bad shape, and if you can't handle being around him, then maybe we shouldn't do this now. He's hurting - badly."

Her shoulders slumped and she looked down at the floor. "I... it's awkward, and I won't deny that, but I have to start somewhere, so... yeah, I can handle being his friend." She caught his eye then. "But I know what he wants, Shippo, and I don't think I can give him that. What I said to Inuyasha still stands - he made his choice, and as far as I'm concerned, he sundered our fates entirely."

"You know that's not fair, Kagome, don't you." It wasn't a question. "If all that with Kikyou and Inuyasha, and Naraku hadn't happened in the past, they'd have lived their lives out just as they ended up doing - and then you'd have been born here, and Yasha as well... and you'd have met. You'd undoubtedly be engaged right now."

She sighed, knowing he was right, but unable to let it go. With the whole Kikyou thing, she just couldn't forget that part of it... or forgive - at least, not now. Maybe, years from now... but that was a long ways away, and she knew it.

"But that's the problem, Shippo. All that _did _happen - and there's been too much damage to my heart, to my soul, and to my mind... if the kami want my soul to be tied to the one Yasha carries, then they may just have to wait 'til the _next_ time we're both reborn."

Shippo stared at her for a moment, nonplussed. "Would you really condemn you both to misery in this life just because of the past - because of _Kikyou_? You really mean to tell me you're gonna let that bitch _win?!" _ He shook his head at her, disappointed. "I really thought you were smarter than that, Kagome."

She laughed a bit bitterly at that. "If I'd been smarter, Shippo, I'd never have fallen for Inuyasha in the first place. I'd have gathered the jewel, then come home and sealed the well myself - and gone on to Hojo or someone like him."

With a shake of her head, she stood up, and grabbing her purse, took his hand.

"Come on, let's just go. I can think about all this crap later. I just... don't want to right now, okay? I'm tired of the whole mess."

Shippo let her pull him out the door and down the stairs, and reaching the genkan, they stopped quickly to put on their shoes, then headed out.

Kagome stared at the silver-haired male standing near the god tree and her knees almost buckled with grief once again - but then she hardened her heart, and walking up to him, she asked, "So... Yasha. Shippo and I couldn't decide where to go... just that we would like to find some outdoor activity. What do you think?"

Yasha smiled at her tentatively, then ducked his head, staring at the ground consideringly.

"It's still fairly early... how about the beach?"

---cCc---

A/N: This chapter is pretty much a pivotal one in the story - where Kagome and Yasha finally start interacting in a positive manner. There's still a lot of angst to come... but things are going to start looking up a little - a little light is about to start coming in.

Amber


	20. UnCouple's Counseling?

**Chapter 19: Un-Couple's Counseling?**

"How the hell does _that _work?"

Kagome was dumbfounded. She was having another session with Mika, and had just been handed the demand that she start coming to 'couples' counseling with Yasha.

Needless to say, she didn't take it well.

"Okay, first of all, we're not a couple, second, we're not a couple, and third - WE'RE NOT A COUPLE! We are FRIENDS, and last I checked, friends don't go to counseling sessions together."

Mika sighed, and sat back in her chair. "Perhaps not, under normal circumstances. But as you well know, your situation is as far from normal as it gets." She chuckled as Kagome rolled her eyes. "You both have issues from the past that need to be dealt with, together. If you like, think of it as _un-couple's _counseling - I honestly don't care how you look at it, as long as you do it."

She folded her arms across her chest and glowered at the older woman. "And I suppose if I don't agree, you'll get my family after me - and your father, too, right?"

"Whatever it takes," she agreed pleasantly.

"Fine. Do what you want. I don't care anymore." Kagome was getting angry. "I'm honestly getting tired of all the meddling - you all need to get your own damn lives and stop playing with mine. The kami have done that enough as it is."

Mika tilted her head curiously. "Why is it that you are so against this, Kagome?"

"Because I really don't want to dig up the past any more than we are already doing now. I get it. Inuyasha is the past, he didn't want me, and I'm back here and have to find a way to make a life. Big deal. That's what I'm doing. So why can't all you people just leave me the hell alone to find my own damn way?" she growled angrily.

"It's not as if I haven't spent the last years of my life fighting to survive and find a way to defeat Naraku five hundred years in the past - I think I can figure out how to take care of myself _here_ just fine."

"No one said you couldn't, Kagome. We just want to help."

"Oh, right. And where was all the help when I _needed_ it - back when I was fighting for my life, being covered in youkai guts constantly, dealing with that bitch Kikyou and her insults, and getting 'combat stress'? _Now_, when it's all over, people want to help?" She snorted and waved a hand dismissively. "Whatever."

"You have a lot of anger still tied up inside, Kagome. You need to get it out, so it can stop affecting you."

"I think I'm entitled to my anger, thank you very much. And while it might be there, I don't let it take over my life anymore. What all you people don't seem to understand is that for me, being left alone to deal with it _on_ my own is the best way. I don't hold grudges for very long - as long as I'm allowed to work through it without interference, and I don't have people dredging it up every other day. All this," she waved a hand again to indicate Mika's office, "is only dragging it out. It's counter-productive."

Mika studied her for several minutes, and sighed. "I'll make you a deal. Come to counseling sessions with Yasha - and I'll let you out of the personal ones. Will that work?"

It was Kagome's turn to settle back and stare at Mika for a few minutes.

_It's annoying - having to come in with Yasha and talk like we're some kind of married couple, but at least this way, I'll still have only one appointment a week - and since they're gonna make me come whether I agree to this or not..._

"Fine. I'll come with Yasha - and this is the last single session."

"Agreed." Mika nodded, pleased. _For these two, the couple's counseling is going to be more important now, anyway._

Kagome stood abruptly, nodding back at her sharply. "Just let Yasha know when we need to be here - he can pass the information on to me," she said, then turned without waiting for confirmation, and walked out the door.

_Hopefully soon, I can get rid of this stupid couples thing, too, and get on with my life._

_The way _I _want to live it._

---cCc---

Yasha shut his phone off, and sighed, looking over at Shippo, who was string at him quizzically.

"That was Mika. She got Kagome to agree to couple's counseling - though she said she was really put out about it. Apparently, she's decided it's 'un-couples counseling'."

Shippo burst out laughing, ignoring Yasha's pathetic look. "That's Kagome, all right. She always did have a way with words."

"That was Mika's phrase for it - but I guess Kagome took it and ran with it."

"She wouldn't be Kagome if she didn't." He cast a quick glance his direction, before turning his eyes back to the path they were on. "So what about this is bothering you, Yash?"

He rolled his eyes at the cut-off version of his name, but answered anyway. "I guess I'm frustrated. It's been almost a month since she agreed to be friends - and there's been nothing else. We're no closer, her and I, than _you_ and I are... I wasn't expecting us to be sleeping together by now or anything - but a little softening in her towards the _idea _of us as a couple would be nice."

"Let me ask you something. How long do people end up being friends before they become a couple?"

"Uhhh," he looked a bit confused, "there's no set time, ya know. For some it's months, some years - and some days. Why?"

"Then why are you worried about it? Let it go, Yasha. It's not like you're on a schedule or anything. Enjoy hanging with her - enjoy just being with her. The rest will come."

His shoulders slumped. "Yeah... I guess. It's just that it seems that I've been waiting forever - sometimes I wonder if it'll ever end, you know?"

Shippo clapped a hand to the hanyou's shoulder with a wry smile. "Yeah, man, I know. I waited five hundred years to see her again."

Yasha let out a choked laugh and held out his hands. "Okay, okay, point taken. You win, and I'll try to have more patience."

"That's the spirit."

Nothing more was said as they walked in companionable silence through the park, heading for the place that was home to both their hearts.

---cCc---

_Here she comes - right on time. Step one in the make Kagome jealous plan: let her see me with other girls._

Hojo had basically been stalking Kagome for some time. He was pretty much aware of everything she did - he knew when she went out with those two creeps he'd met at her place that time she'd broken his heart, he knew when she went shopping, he even knew when she went for counseling.

And it was all part and parcel of his plot to make Kagome realize that he was perfect for her, and that she really wanted him.

By flaunting other women in her face.

So, this was the first attempt. He'd planned this little 'impromptu meeting' down to the second - they'd stumble into her as she left the counselor's office, and invite her to lunch, where he would hang all over the other girl.

Hopefully, he'd see a little of the green monster.

He just didn't understand her sometimes. For years, he'd waited on the sidelines for her, hoping against hope that she'd notice him - he'd turned down every other girl that had made passes - all just for her. They would be perfect for each other - if only she'd pay attention and_ see _him. He didn't think she ever really had actually looked at him as a potential lover, and it was time that changed.

He'd often wondered just who it was that was taking up all of her time and attention, but it wasn't until the school festival that time in junior high that he'd gotten his first inkling. Even then, he'd never been sure, because while it had seemed that the two were overly familiar with each other, he'd never seen that guy again.

Now he knew for sure that it had been that guy - and he, while not liking to say he was glad the guy was dead, was _certainly_ glad he was no longer around. What made him uneasy, is that guys relative that was now hanging around.

_She wouldn't actually date another guy from the same family, would she? In her grief, like a rebound thing, she might fool herself into seeing this guy as the one she lost. I can't let that happen._

_I won't let that happen. Kagome is supposed to be mine._

"Ah! Higurashi-san! It is nice to see you," he said, with a slight bow.

Kagome was rather abruptly knocked out of her thoughts by the sound of Hojo's voice, and she looked up in surprise, noting the young man, with a woman wrapped around his arm. Her brows raised in surprise, and she smiled politely.

"Oh, Hello, Hojo-san. How are you?"

He smiled charmingly at her. "I am well, Higurashi-san." He bowed his head towards the young woman on his arm, and said, "This is my girlfriend, Fushita Kaori, Kaori, this is a friend from school, Higurashi, Kagome."

Kagome smiled widely at the girl. "It is nice to meet you Fushita-san. And you, Hojo-san, but if you will excuse me," she checked her watch, and frowned, "I am running late, and need to get moving." She turned and moved off, calling over her shoulder at an oddly frozen young man, "I'm glad to see you've found someone to make you happy, Hojo-san! Bye!"

Hojo stared after her, angry. That had not gone at all as planned. She'd taken off before he could get her to go to lunch with them, and she'd not showed any signs of jealousy _at all. _

_Dammit! Will she never stop and _look_ at me?_

He tightened his arm around the girl with him, and stiffly moved off - leaving her wondering what was going on.

Hojo was getting himself in deep with his plans. He just didn't know _how _deep.

---cCc---

Panting, heart pounding and sweat dewing her forehead, Kagome sprung up from her prone position in her bed, a whimper still echoing in her room

Closing her eyes, she tried to get her heart and breathing to calm, and she lifted an arm to wipe the damp from her brow.

_What was that? That dream... the well was calling me. But why? The magic's gone, it's fully sealed - it's only a well again._

_So why these nightmares?_

Swinging her feet off the bed, she sat on the edge of it and sighed, bracing herself on her hands, then standing and heading for her window. Moving the curtains to the side, she stared out at the wellhouse, a dark shadow among others in the bright moonlight, and sighed, leaning her forehead against the cool glass and closing her eyes in tired sadness.

_The pain just doesn't stop, does it? Will I ever find a time where everything stops hurting? Or am I doomed to re-live the hurt every night for the rest of my lie?_

_As bad as it sounds, I'm almost hoping it isn't a long life. I just want peace..._

_And if the only way to find it is death, then I'm willing to beg the kami for mercy. _

_Mercy. Heh._

_Mercy for what? A tortured timeline, that's what. I'm getting tormented as a punishment for doing what? Oh, yeah, for my previous incarnation causing _me_ harm._

_Why does that sound so fucked up? Funny enough, it sounds like modern-day justice - blame the victim. Kikyou tortured me, so now the kami torture me for her torturing me... damn. How do they even keep track of crap like that? That's more twisted then even Naraku could have figured out._

With another tired sigh, she opened her eyes again, and stared out at the night, idly watching the moonlight flash and twinkle as the breeze moved the trees to and fro.

_I just want to be empty. Take this broken soul and leave me with nothing. No past, no future, just this present right here - in the deep of the night, silent and calm, no one to draw me from this peace._

Voice a merely a whisper of a whisper, she softly began singing.

"Empty spaces, fill me up with holes..."

"Distant faces, with no place left to go..."

_Heh. Isn't that the truth?_

"Without you, within me, I can't find no rest..."

_Damn you, Inuyasha... why can't you just leave me alone? Get out of my mind, out of my dreams...out of my heart. And take that bitch you chose remnants with you - I want every part of both of you out of my life - out of my memories._

She chuckled, a sour sound in the dark room. "I must be the most contrary woman alive - when I have my memory, I wish I had amnesia - but when I had amnesia, I wanted my memory back. What a fucked up life."

Shaking her head, she pulled away from the window and laid back down in her empty bed, back to the room as she faced a blank wall.

_And there's me. Nothing to show for all the years I've been alive so far, _she reached out and touched a spot on that wall - a blemish, _except a few million scars, inside and out._

_So much for _life.

---cCc---

Sesshoumaru watched silently as Kagome stared out into the night, and he could easily see where her glance rested first.

The wellhouse.

Beginning and end of her problems - it had taken her to the past, to a sealed half-demon, and then brought her back several years older, and far more scarred than a young woman her age should ever be, and left her here, tired of life already.

That was something that he could understand.

His life had always, from almost the first year of his life, been about duty. His duty to his parents, then his duty to his position. Never had there been a search for _happiness_ - it was all about what he had to do for _others _sakes.

If he were to ever be given the chance to find something for _himself_, for his own happiness and no one elses, he would have chosen the miko he was watching. He'd wanted her for centuries... and he knew full well he'd never have her - not even in death. She was always destined for another.

He could understand the point of the kami in putting her in his path and letting him love the one woman on the planet he could never have.

Payback, plain and simple. Karma.

For all the harm he had caused in his earlier years, this was the price he would pay. As far as he was concerned, it was worse than eternal damnation...

Or maybe it _was_ eternal damnation.

It certainly seemed as though it were so from where he was standing.

He had often wondered what she would say if he were ever to tell her how he _really _felt about her.

_Probably die laughing - a hundred years from now. The mere idea of me, the Killing Perfection, loving a ningen female..._

_And yet, it is no more than the simple truth._

He sighed as he picked up the soft whispers of her voice, even through her window, then a sad smile flirted with one corner of his mouth for just a fractio of a second.

_Amnesia. It would be welcome, indeed. To forget this life - to forget _her._ I am weary, truly, and ready for rest. _

_Soon._

_Perhaps once I have fulfilled Inuyasha's final wishes, and watched her marry Yasha..._

_I have a worthy heir to pass the responsibility on to - I am no longer really needed, and I think I have seen enough of the endless centuries passing by. _

_Even youkai can only stand so many years..._

_Before they break._

---cCc---

A/N: The couple of lyrics above are from an old Backstreet Boy's song (yes, them) simply because those few words fit so well. I do not own that song, the 'Boys', or anything else. Just to let everyone know.

Amber


	21. Complications

**Chapter 20: Complications**

Yasha flushed - this was truly the most awkward moment he could ever remember as he walked into Mika's waiting room and looked around for Kagome. This was their first counseling session together - when they weren't even _together._

He could tell Kagome didn't like it, either, as he shambled over and sat next to her, smiling nervously. It was beyond obvious that she was here because she _had _to be, not because she wanted to be, and in an odd way, that hurt.

It just made it that much clearer that she didn't share his feelings for her... in the slightest.

He turned away, a pained look in his eye, and noticed the sympathetic looks from some of the other people in the room. It made him flush even deeper, and finally, his gaze dropped to the floor, and stayed there.

He was beginning to lose all hope of ever having his happy future with Kagome.

A sick feeling played through his heart then, and he just knew that these counseling sessions were going to end in heartbreak for him - this was going to _hurt, _and suddenly, he wasn't sure he even wanted to be here.

Some sense of self-preservation kicked in, and he just wanted to get up and get out of there, leave it all behind, and it took every bit of courage he possessed to remain seated, his hands clenched so tight they were bloodless.

Kagome, however, wasn't as oblivious as it might seem, and was well aware of the tension in the male next to her, though she might not have known exactly what it was that was bothering him, and with an almost silent sigh, reached over without looking at him, and took his hand.

In the moment that she did, two things happened. One, she realized that she'd never willingly touched him until that moment - and two... flashes of memories assaulted her... memories of her and Inuyasha - only he was overlaid with Yasha. It was in that single moment that she fully realized that Yasha and Inuyasha were really one and the same soul.

It frightened her.

It also left her with a lot of questions to ask him, something she'd never thought to do until now. She only hoped he'd be willing to share.

Yasha was absolutely stunned when he felt her reach down and grab his hand -never, in a million years had he expected her to do that, and the simple feel of her willingly touching him, was enough to almost make him cry.

Which was simply, horrifyingly embarrassing, and suddenly, Mika couldn't call them back soon enough for his tastes.

Shyly, uncertain of what he'd see, he looked over and smiled at her, then squeezed her hand softly, before looking away again.

Kagome didn't know what to think... because holding his hand suddenly felt _very _right - in a way she wasn't quite prepared for, so when she heard their names called she stood up quickly, releasing a relieved sigh as he let go of her hand. She smiled at him a little as he gestured for her to walk ahead of him, and they followed Mika back to her office, prepared for a harrowing hour of talking about the painful past.

Mika studied them both as they entered the room, shutting the door behind them and then taking her seat. It was clear that they were both uncomfortable, though for different reasons.

"So... either of you have any questions for me?" she finally asked.

Kagome shot her a look. "Yeah. What exactly are you trying to accomplish with this travesty, anyway?"

Mika noticed Yasha's flinch, and frowned. "Why do you think this is a 'travesty'?"

"Well, isn't it? I mean, couple's counseling is for _couples, _and there's no _couple_ here. Seems kinda stupid to me."

"Yasha? Do you see this the same way?"

Kagome flushed with embarrassment. She'd forgotten that he was sitting there for a moment. She wouldn't have been so belligerent if she'd remembered his presence.

"Uh..." he flashed a quick glance at Kagome, then looked away. "Maybe not... _stupid_," he said, and Kagome flinched. "Awkward, though."

Mika settled back and watched the two for a moment, wondering how best to handle this, and decided that her best bet was probably just to get them talking, inserting questions only when needed. With that in mind, she asked, "Kagome, aren't there any questions that you would ask Yasha, here? About things that were left behind?"

The girl nodded, turning to face the hanyou. "How much... I mean, what do you remember from... back then?" She winced at his pained look.

He drew in a calming breath, and said, "I remember most of... _his _life before he met you, and then _everything _from the moment he met you 'til he... sent you back. Not much about... _after_. Only a few generalized things."

"I... see."

"Why? Was there something you wanted to know?"

She laughed at that, but it wasn't a humorous laugh - it was dry, and cold. "Lots of things, I guess - can't really think of one single question, really, except... _Why?!"_

Yasha turned away at that question, looking out the window. "Which, 'why'? There's so many things that question could encompass. Do you mean why he sent you away the way he did?"

"Yes!... and... no. I get that he chose Kikyou, too bad, so sad for me. But..." she trailed off miserably as the thought came, again, that she would never see Sango and Miroku again.

"He wasn't thinking about that. He was feeling hurt, and angry, foolish... and he hated the fact that he had to send you away. He knew, you see. He knew that what Kaede had said was right. You weren't meant for... him - yet. He nearly choked at the thought of you being with anyone else - the only reason he ended up agreeing was because, as he saw it, he was sending you to himself, in a way."

Kagome jerked her head around from where she'd been staring at the wall, anger etching every bit of her voice. "How can you stand to say that? Are you him?! _NO! _You aren't. You are Yasha! Are you really so willing to do something just because everyone seems to expect it? Oh, I'll be with Kagome because I have Inuyasha's soul, and the kami said it should be this way. What the_ hell_!"

Yasha snarled at her at that, whipping his own gaze around to pin her to her seat with the intensity of it.

"_Do I look like anybody's fool!?_ he hissed, outraged. "I am no one's _bitch, _Kagome, not even fates. I am here, _with you, _because_ I want to be!_"

"How could you choose me," she shrieked, "you don't even know me!"

"Like hell I don't, Kagome! Who the hell do you think has watched over you and protected you from the time either of us were old enough to walk? It sure as hell wasn't Inuyasha! It was _me_! I've been with you since you were old enough to go to school, wench. I know you quite well - it's just you that doesn't know me," he finished sadly, his burst of anger dying out as quickly as it had come.

Kagome was remembering a certain conversation between Yasha and Shippo... and feeling guilt wash over her as some things suddenly became _very _clear to her.

Such as the fact that he was essentially correct. He _had_ been watching over her for years - and she'd never even known it.

"_Why _did you waste so much time watching me?" she questioned, voice low and eyes hidden behind her bangs.

Mika sat up a bit a that - this was an important question - and how he answered it could be the thing that saved his chances with the girl - or doomed them.

He sighed, glancing away from her for a moment. "At first, it was because I was supposed to. Sure, I had all those memories of the baka, but... hell if I was gonna have someone tell me who_ I _had to love. Feh. I figured I'd keep a watch on you, then when your duty to the past was done, I'd be free to go off and do what I wanted. Easy, ne?"

He chuckled sadly. "Didn't turn out that way, though. It took a while, because I fought it tooth and nail, but... after a few years, I was there, I realized, because I wanted to be - for _myself_. Not because I was supposed to be. I wanted you for _me, _and to hell with everyone else. You have no _idea_ of how jealous of that prick I really was..."

Kagome flushed, eyes lowered, and stared at her hands. She couldn't really think of anything to object to in his words - and she wanted to.

But he'd left her no opening.

If he'd said it was because it was their fate, then she could have fought him. But how do you fight it when he was doing it for himself? She was losing ground, and she knew it.

Mika sat back, hiding a smile. She was pleased with his words. Kagome couldn't object to them, as she so obviously had wanted to do.

The ball was now in her court, and they all three knew it. She knew what Yasha wanted, and more importantly, _why _he wanted it.

Now it was up to her to decide what she wanted - if she could open her heart to him, for who he was now - not who he had been.

She closed her eyes, rubbing her temples, she said, "I want to go home now. I need to think, and I've had enough for the day."

Mika just nodded.

_I'm sure you have, Kagome. Think long and hard about this - it isn't just your own happiness at stake._

---cCc---

Kagome would have preferred to walk home alone, but at this point, she knew that wasn't going to happen. Yasha was not about to let her out of his sight.

She sighed, a random thought making her chuckle softly.

_In some ways, he's just like his previous incarnation. Protective... although I think that has more to do with being Inu than anything else._

"It's an Inu thing, isn't it?"

Yasha looked over at her. "Huh?"

"The whole over-protective thing... _he _was always like that, too."

"Well," he said slowly, "sort of. But we're not like this with just anyone, you know. Only one we've chosen to protect. It's a conscious choice."

"Really?" she asked, head tilted to the side. "I guess... I wouldn't know about that. Inuyasha only protected me because I was his only way to find the tama."

Yasha snorted at that. "Only in the beginning. That changed... fast. After all, after the bitch was brought back, he coulda just hooked up with _her_ to find the shards. But he didn't."

She choked when he called Kikyou a bitch so casually. "Well, I guess _that _proves to me more than anything else that you aren't him, if I didn't already know it. _He_ would never have called her a bitch."

"I'm sorry. But that's just my take on it. I never understood, from all my memories, what he saw in her." He shuddered. "I guess it's the whole loyalty thing, because she was the first person to treat _him_ like one, but looking at his memories, she was a cold one - even back before she died. Self-centered, in a way."

Kagome looked down, blushing shyly. "Oh."

"It's so strange sometimes, looking at you. I know she was your previous incarnation... but, I just don't see it. You're so different. If it had been me, back then... I'd have kicked her ass to the curb in a heartbeat, and been after you faster than you could blink." He didn't look at her as he said that, too embarrassed, but needing to say it.

Kagome's eyes widened, and then softened, before she turned her face away, linking her hands together and twisting them nervously.

"Really?"

"Really."

"I don't know what to say..." her voice trailed away into a profound silence, and Yasha smiled just a bit.

After awhile, he said, "You don't have to say anything. I'm just stating a fact, after all."

Something in his words had completely disarmed her, and she just couldn't seem to bring back her former feelings of anger towards him. Not even a bit of irritation.

_Dammit! How do you fight something like that? _Why_ do you even fight something like that?_

She was quickly losing her motivation...

"Well," she cleared her throat awkwardly, "are we still on tonight with Shippo and Kirara for movies at his house?"

Yasha nodded. "Yeah... if you still want to, that is." When she nodded in return, he said, "I'll swing by and we'll walk together."

She chuckled. "And if I said no, you'd still show up and just follow me, wouldn't you?"

"Yup."

"Fine. I'll meet you at the bottom of the shrine steps." She rolled her eyes as he grinned at her. "Baka."

And he laughed, then, recognizing this little ritual. "Bitch."

"Yeah... this is where I'd have said 'oswari'," she laughed outright as he flinched, "but..."

"Ain't no _way _anyone's ever getting beads like that on me. You know..." he shot her a glance from the corner of his eye, "we still have that necklace. They've been passed down, along with the Tessaiga. He never took them off - flat out refused to let the bitch remove them. They never worked for anyone else, but..."

Kagome stared off into the distance, lost in her memories for a minute, then flicked a questioning glance his way. "So... who has Tessaiga, now?"

"Feh, who do you think? Me, of course. After all, I'm the one protecting you now. You know," he shook his head in remembrance, "I wasn't just given the Tessaiga. I had to earn it."

She cast him a confused glance. "Uh... _earn _it? What do you mean?"

"I had to consciously choose to protect you, because I wanted to, before Tessaiga would transform for me. When it did that, my father knew that I wanted you for the right reasons." He chuckled again. "Tessaiga doesn't play favorites, and it judges your heart and intentions impartially."

Kagome stared ahead, thoughts once more chaotic. Tessaiga was one thing she knew she could trust implicitly. As Yasha said, the sword was impartial - and wouldn't respond to anything less than the truth.

Which meant... Yasha didn't want her for any other reason than because he wanted her. It wasn't because of Inuyasha, it wasn't because of all that fate mumbo jumbo - all that 'red cord of fate' crap.

And that spoke to something inside her... to her heart, and her soul.

Because the one thing Kagome had always wanted was in fact just to be... wanted.

For herself.

As she said her goodbyes in a rather distracted fashion, agreeing to meet him there later for their movie night at Shippo's, that one thing echoed in her mind, over and over.

Someone out there, wanted_ her._

Kagome.

_Not _Kikyou.

---cCc---

Yasha was actually in a good mood when he arrived home, and it didn't go unnoticed by his mother, as she came out from the living room, smiling quizzically at him.

"You sound awfully happy, son. Did the session go well?"

He shook his head. "Not so much the session but... the walk home was good. I made her think. She even joked with me - the way she used to with _him." _

Etsu blinked, then her smile widened. "Well... that's good, then, ne?"

He nodded. "I think so. Plus, we're going to hang out at Shippo's this evening, so..."

"That sounds good, son." She moved forward and hugged him. "Just keep your hope, Yasha. She will come to you - it's just going to take time."

"Yeah." He pulled away as his phone rang, and she walked back into the living room as he waved at her and wandered off towards his room, answering his call.

"Hey, Kin... what's up?"

"Not much man, but hey, if you're game, I've got someone that wants to meet you. Told her we could go hang out tonight. You've got to come, Yasha, she's _hot_, and she's got a real thing for you."

Yasha sighed, closing his eyes, he wiped a hand down his face. "Kin, I've told you before - many times before. I'm _not interested_. I've already got a girl, and in fact, I am going out with her tonight."

"You've got a girlfriend?!"

"Well, not yet, we're not actually dating, but she's who I want - and I have wanted her for years. Sorry, man, but you're gonna have to break it to this chick, whoever she is." He laughed at his friends groan. "Ya shouldn't have told her I'd go out with her before you asked, Kin. Sorry."

"Dude, I've known you for years, and not once in all that time, have you ever dated a chick. If I didn't know better, I'd think you liked guys. And_ now _you have a girl you're interested in?"

"I've known her for a long time, I already told you that - but there've been... complications up until recently. Now's my chance, and I'm taking it."

"Well, shit, man. Fine. But I wanna hear all about this girl - and I wanna meet her, too. Although... you might want to be careful, Yasha. I told you, this girl really, really likes you. You know Akina, right?"

Yasha groaned at that. "Fuck! Not her... man, that woman's a stalker! She'd give the devil nightmares! You need to get your head checked if you're trying to get _her_ hooked up with anybody. I can't believe you'd do that to me!"

"Well... she _is_ hot, you have to admit that."

"Not in my eyes, bakayarou! Far as I'm concerned, _you_ can take her out, long as she stays away from me!" He clicked his phone off and threw himself across his bed, irritation running through him.

_Damn you, Kin! I did NOT need that bitch on my tail. As if things aren't complicated enough right now..._

He groaned, letting his head fall back with a thump.

_I am so fucked._

---cCc---

A/N: Hope everyone enjoys the new chapter!

Amber


	22. Of Stalkers and Friends

**Chapter 21: Of Stalkers and Friends**

_Kin, I am so going to kill you!_

Yasha had been dodging the girl his supposed best friend had tried to set him up with for days, now, and it was getting to the point that he was getting ready to ask his family for help in hiding from her.

Akina Takeshi was a nightmare of a woman - popular, she was considered quite beautiful, and was used to getting her own way.

Apparently, _he_ was now what she wanted.

_He_ was what she wasn't going to get.

But he considered one possible outcome of this whole mess that could have a very positive effect on the situation with Kagome.

Kagome tended to be very protective of those she cared for - and she was a fighter when necessary. He was seriously considering getting Shippo and going to her about the problem with Akina - see if she would help him out.

After all, even though it hadn't been spoken of in so many words, he knew that she knew how he felt about her, and he was hoping beyond hope that she would feel a little territorial over him.

With that thought in mind, he proceeded to slip out of his house the back way, just in case Akina was outside watching for him, and took off to Shippo's place, determined to get his opinion. After all, he had shown himself to be very good at getting Kagome to respond... he'd made more progress with her in one short day than all the rest of them had in weeks.

That thought sent a surge of jealousy through him, for a moment, as he realized that another male had the influence over her that he himself wished to have. His youkai side wasn't too thrilled about that, and snarled angrily, but he backed it down, forcing it to consider just _why _Kagome was the way she was.

Which only made the youkai snarl louder as it took him to task for his past life's betrayal of the female it saw as its own.

Of course, since Kikyou had also been Kagome's past life, the youkai side was correct, the female was theirs - but it was wrong, too, because in that sense, Inuyasha hadn't really betrayed their female.

And that made him think. He hadn't really thought of it that way before, but he could suddenly empathize with Inuyasha, in a way. How confusing to be faced with two different incarnations of your soul mate...

But he had still handled it wrong. There was just no getting around that.

At any rate, all that confusion could be thought about another time, he decided, as he came within sight of Shippo's place, and hastened his steps. What was up for now: how to get rid of a stalker.

---cCc---

Shippo listened to the story Yasha told him, then burst out laughing. "Hell, Yasha! You've got to be kidding me! Are you trying to tell me you're being _stalked _by a female? _You?! _A _youkai?"_

Yasha snarled at him, then looked away and grunted disgustedly. "You wouldn't think it was so funny if she was after _you_. The woman's a menace! I'm surprised someone hasn't gotten her arrested by now - the only reason I can think of is because most guys would be too embarrassed to call the police with a story like this! Must be why she thinks she can get away with it..." he mumbled.

The kitsune just shook his head, amused. "Well, you've managed to get yourself into a mess, haven't you? Trying to get Kagome to calm down and begin to see you as more than just a friend, and now she's got competition - in a contest she hasn't even entered yet!"

"Are you gonna help me, or just keep laughing?" he hissed, obviously annoyed, and Shippo finally stopped laughing at him, and sat down, a thoughtful look crossing his face.

"I think you had a good idea - we should tell Kagome about what's going on, and see what she says. Not only will she probably get upset at the idea, but she'll give you points for honesty, as well. It will mark this as different than the whole Inuyasha and Kikyou thing - you won't be hiding anything, you'll be trying to get _away_ from this other female."

Yasha sank down onto the couch, and sighed wearily. "Man, I hope you're right. I'm getting tired of having to slink around - not to mention that woman seems to have some kind of radar where I'm concerned - no matter where I go, she always finds me."

Shippo tilted his head, eyes narrowed as something occurred to him then, but he simply shook his head when Yasha asked, telling him that he'd tell him about it when they got to Kagome's.

Shrugging, Yasha nodded, then stood as Shippo did, and the two walked out of the apartment, bound for the Higurashi Shrine.

"Hey, Yasha?"

The hanyou glanced at Shippo. "Yeah, man?"

"What's this stalker look like?"

Suspicious, Yasha tilted his head, eyes narrowed. "Tall, black hair tinted at the ends, slender, with _way_ too much make-up. Why?" he asked slowly.

"Because I think she found you again."

He flicked a thumb over his shoulder casually, and Yasha, a horrified look on his face, snuck a look behind him.

"Ahh, fuck!" His shoulders tightened almost defensively, and Shippo shook his head.

"Man, I woulda never believed it, but I guess you were right. That woman _is_ freaky. How the hell did she follow you to my place?"

Yasha groaned. "I don't know! I almost feel paranoid enough to wonder if she's got a tracking device on me somewhere!"

Shippo shuddered at that. "Let's step up the pace, my friend. The sooner we get to the shrine, the better."

With that, the two took off like bat's out of hell, keeping the pace just barely slow enough to be considered very fast humans, so as not to give anything away.

It was enough - barely, as they left Akina in the dust.

Not that it seemed to matter, because she always found him, one way or another.

_Why couldn't it be Kagome stalking me? I wouldn't even _attempt _to run away then!_

Shippo had a frown on his face as they landed at the top of the shrine steps. "Hey, Yasha?" he asked, a peculiar note in his voice.

"Yeah?"

"Is that chick youkai?"

Yasha looked startled at that, but frowned, considering it. "I... don't know. She could be, I suppose. Never thought about it - but it would explain her ability to find me no matter what I do."

"It sure would - and it's one more reason to tell Kagome about it. Normal human she can't do too much about - but Youkai?" he finished slowly, and Yasha began grinning.

"The shikon miko... she's enough to scare the piss outta much scarier youkai than Akina could ever hope to be."

"Damn straight - I've seen her purify youkai before - and it's really scary. Maybe we could arrange a demonstration for that female." Shippo chuckled at that thought.

Yasha looked even more eager, landing on Kagome's doorstep with three leaps, and knocking, waited almost impatiently for Aiko to answer.

Shippo approached at a slightly more sedate pace, but arrived nonetheless at the same time as the door slid open, and both males bowed to the Higurashi matriarch.

"Is Kagome here... or with her grandfather, Aiko-san?" Yasha asked.

"Oh, hello, boys!" she said, happy to see the two. "She's upstairs, moaning about not having anything to wear. Maybe you two could go up and give her some suggestions?" she asked, a twinkle in her eye. "She's dressed, don't worry - she's just not happy with what she's wearing."

Shippo chuckled. "Sure - I bet I can get her to be happy with something in her closet, don't worry."

Aiko laughed, waving the two boys in. "Go on up, then."

The two made their way quickly up the stairs, and knocked on her door.

They both startled a bit when the door was flung open, and Kagome threw her arms open dramatically. "Look at me! I'm a mess! I can't find anything decent to wear," she moaned, waving them away with disgust when she realized who was standing at her door.

"Oh. It's you guys," she said flatly, and turned back into her room. "You may as well come in. Not like I'm going to be _changing, _or anything," she flung loudly down the stairs, knowing her mother could hear.

She was rewarded with a laugh that floated back up the stairs at her, and both boys rolled their eyes at her.

"You look fine, Kagome," Shippo said, grinning at her. "I don't remember you worrying about what you were wearing five hundred years ago," he teased.

She frowned at him. "Of course not. Why would I, when all I was doing was tromping all over the countryside anyways, getting chased, threatened, and covered in youkai guts all the time?"

"I guess... but you really do look fine, K'gome."

She sighed. "Fine." Then she cast a suspicious glance at them. "What are you guys doing here, anyways? Were we supposed to go somewhere, and I forgot about it?"

At that, Yasha collapsed onto her desk chair, and groaned. "No... but I need your help. Maybe you can figure out what to do."

She looked at him, a furrow appearing on her brow at the tone of his voice. He was serious. She sat down on her bed and looked at him. "What's up?"

He exchanged glances with Shippo, then sighed, and looked over at her. "Look. Despite what mess there is between you and I and the past, you know how I feel for you." As she flushed, he shook his head. "I'm not saying this to upset you. Anyway, a friend of mine was trying to help what he thought of as my non-existent love life out, and set me up with this girl."

Kagome held up a hand, a flash of temper heating her cheeks. "Wait, what?"

"It's not what you think, I swear," he said quickly. "The one he tried to set me up with, however, isn't one to take 'no' for an answer - she's spoiled, and used to just getting what she wants. She's actually known amongst the guys for being a stalker - and now," he gave a pathetic look and groaned, "she's stalking me."

She looked at him incredulously, then over at Shippo, who nodded, a serious look on his face.

"Yeah, he's not kidding, Kagome. He even had to sneak out of his house this morning to come to my house, and by the time we left to come over here, she'd once again found him. I wouldn't doubt that she's tracked him here by now... we both think she's youkai, there's just no other way she could be finding him so quickly."

Her eyes narrowed, Kagome stood and moved over to her window, looking out, she quickly noted all those on the shrine grounds. "What does she look like?"

On being given the same description as Shippo had gotten, she nodded, and growled with annoyance. "She's there... seems to be watching the house, too. I think you're right - she's youkai - or at least hanyou of some type."

Turning back to the guys with one last glare at her window, she sat down on her bed again. _What a witch! Spoiled and used to getting her own way, is she? Well... I can fix that!_

After thinking for a few moments, she looked over at Yasha, only to find him staring at her with a hopeful expression on his face. With a wicked grin, Kagome said, "Why don't we disappoint her, then? She thinks she can have what she wants just because she wants it... I'll enjoy pissing her off, what about you guys?"

Shippo chuckled. "I kinda figured you'd say that, Kagome. You never did have a problem with letting people know where the line was."

Yasha smiled at her apologetically. "I'm sorry about this, Kagome. I just..."

Kagome cut him off with a waved hand. "Don't. This isn't your fault." She stood up and walked over to her closet, reaching in and grabbing a light sweater, she headed to the bathroom, sending the boys downstairs to wait for her while she put on some lip gloss and brushed out her hair.

When she finished, she skipped cheerfully down the stairs, and asked, "Okay, you guys... where should we lead her today?"

They exchanged gleeful glances...

"How about the fair? Crowds, rides, noise and annoyance - at least for her."

Kagome snickered. "Sounds good to me!" Taking hold of Yasha's arm with a rather proprietary air, she led the way out the door.

"Let's irritate the bitch!"

---cCc---

Akina watched as her daughter and the two males left the house, a rather astonished look on her face when she saw Kagome take Yasha's arm in a _very _proprietary manner.

_I wonder what _that's _all about..?_

_Could she finally be getting past what Inuyasha did to her? _

Once they were out of sight, she left the house and walked to the goshinboku, touching a gentle hand to its ancient bark.

"So much you have watched over... if you could only talk, I wonder what you would say?" she mused quietly, thoughts far away, memories of her beloved husband once again filling her as she stood beneath the tree he'd proposed to her under.

"And you, my husband. If you could see your family now, what would _you _say? Would you have allowed Kagome to do what she needed in the past, or refused, and kept her here? Could you have foreseen the pain she would go through?"

With a sigh, she sat down on the bench, sadness in her heart for the wisdom he would never get to impart to his children, the _life _that he was missing. _You were taken away - and left me to muddle through. I can only hope that you would approve of what I have done._

Her thoughts were interrupted, then. "My son was no more a prophet to know the future than you are, my dear, and you know it. Wise he might have been, but none can know or change the kami-given fate of another. You have done as well as anyone can expect."

She looked up and smiled at Hikari. "Thank you for that. Sometimes... I just need to hear it, I guess. I hate to see the hurt she's had to go through, and I wonder if I did the right thing in letting her go - but then I remember that this was what the kami had planned for her - this is her life, and I can't protect her from everything." She looked down, then, closing her eyes sadly.

"But I wish I could."

Hikari watched her for a moment, then sat down with a sigh. "Ah... these old bones just don't work the way they used to." He looked up into the boughs of the old tree, and shook his head.

"Kagome is strong. She is like this tree in that. They both have thrived in adversity - and will continue to do so. You should know, Aiko - life is like that. It is why Kagome has learned so much wisdom already... she is much more mature in most ways than almost any girl her age."

Aiko nodded. "I know. All this, I understand, Hikari... but it is still hard to watch your child suffer. _You _should know _that,_" she said, with a chuckle.

He chuckled back, glancing down at her, conceding her point. "You are right, as usual. Still," he said, watching the people walking around the shrine, "there is some peace to be found in acceptance, you know. Accept what you cannot change."

He laughed, then. "It is this lesson, I think, that kami are trying to teach my stubborn granddaughter right now."

Startled, Aiko glanced at him, then at the tree - and she started laughing. "You know... I think you're right."

With that, she stood, and helping him to his feet, she tucked her arm in his, and led him towards the house.

It was time to feed him lunch.

As they walked away, unnoticed by either, a small, white blossom spun gently down from the heights of the great tree, landing softly in the spot Aiko had been sitting.

The great tree was still watching - and listening.

---cCc---

A/N: And there's a new chapter. I'm happy that I even managed to get anything written, what with all the mess I'm dealing with right now. It will be at least several more weeks, though, before I really get another chapter out - the rest of Jan. is going to suck, putting it bluntly, so I'm apologizing for the wait in advance. As previously stated, though, in my othr fics, I will NOT abandon it. I hate half finished stories.

Amber


	23. Regression

**Chapter 22: Regression**

Kagome sighed, bored - and nervous. It was time for another un-couple's counseling session - and she was very leery of this one.

Mika had determined that it was time to regress Yasha - back to Inuyasha's life, and have him answer questions. It was also a way to give Kagome the chance to tell him how she felt about what he'd done.

In some ways, she fiercely wanted that chance. But in others...

Well, she felt a bit guilty. She didn't want Yasha to remember this, her yelling and anger, because it wasn't aimed at him. Her words were for the past, not the present.

It was hard to think of hurting Yasha that way - especially when she had begun to care for him - more than she wanted to.

On top of that, she was worried that Mika would, at some point, expect to regress her back to Kikyou - and that, to her, was completely unacceptable.

She would fight tooth and nail on that - there was no way she was going to allow that bitch back. She'd probably refuse to let go of control later, and take over this life, too.

Looking around, she wondered when Yasha would arrive - he'd been doing something today, she had no idea what, and so hadn't traveled with him.

_I wonder if he's even going to show - I wouldn't blame him for avoiding this session. In fact, I almost hope he doesn't come._

Just as she thought that, though, his distinctive youki permeated the room, and she glanced back at the door as he walked in, heading right for her the moment he laid his eyes on her.

He sat, an almost weary sigh slipping from him. "Damn... that stupid bitch Akina was following me _again... _it took every skill I had to lose her, and she'll probably find me again before we even leave the office."

Kagome scowled, looking towards the doors with a heated glare. "Oooo! I almost hope she does show up, I'd love to get my hands on her!"

Yasha stared at her, surprised, and couldn't help the hope that fluttered in his heart at her obvious anger towards Akina. _Please, please let it be possessiveness! If she feels that, it's because she cares..._

"Well, sooner or later, you'll probably get that chance. She's not inclined to give up. I'm almost beginning to think it would be worth embarrassing myself to take this whole mess to Sesshoumaru. He'd scare the wench right off - but I don't think I'd ever live it down."

"No way! We don't need Sesshoumaru's help with that stupid girl!" She pinned him with a steady, very irritated gaze. "Do you think I'm scared of a greedy little rich bitch after everything I've been through?"

He stared at her for a moment, then chuckled. "No, I guess not. So... what do you think I should do about her? Obviously, us hanging out together didn't do it, since she still sees me as a single guy, and I'm not willing to go date some other female just to try to chase her off."

Kagome blushed at that, fighting herself, trying to keep from admitting just how angry the thought of that made her - she still wasn't quite ready to give in and admit she was developing some feelings for him.

But... the alternative - seeing him with someone else....

She was actually relieved when they were called back, since it forced her mind onto another path... but as she stood, Yasha holding onto her arm, she felt him stiffen as the door to the outside opened, and she turned to look...

Her teeth clenched with rage as that stupid Akina walked in, her eyes going immediately to Yasha, a sly smile crossing her overly reddened lips as she saw him.

Yasha scented the bitch the moment she came near, and with a shudder, he refused to even look her direction, instead tightening his grip on Kagome and pulling her forward towards his aunt, who was still waiting at the door into the inner offices.

He breathed a very deep sigh of relief as it closed behind them, although, as he glanced at Kagome, he realized she was still glaring at the door as though it had pissed her off, rather than the woman that was now hidden behind it.

Mika watched the byplay between the two with a faint frown as they made their way to her office. _What's that all about, I wonder?_

Once they were in her office and seated, she looked at the two, noting the nervousness from both their auras.

"I take it you two are somewhat bothered by what's going to happen today," she said, opening the floor for them to start talking.

Yasha snorted and looked away, while, oddly enough, Kagome paled a bit and looked at her hands that were clasped tightly in her lap.

"Yeah... you could say that, Mika. It's not like this kinda stuff happens everyday," Yasha snapped.

Mika cocked a brow, looking in that instant, just like her father, and Kagome giggled a bit nervously.

"And what do you think, Kagome?"

"Uhm... well... I - kinda don't really want to do this. It feels too... I don't know... weird. Yasha isn't Inuyasha, and if you bring his memories back, all I'll do is get pissed and start yelling. But that's not really fair to Yasha." She plopped her face in her hands. "Gah! This whole thing is so damn confusing!"

"Yasha won't remember what's said here today, Kagome, so you don't need to feel guilty."

"Yeah, but is that even fair?" she burst out.

At that, Mika laughed. "You know life isn't fair, Kagome - you know that more than most, don't you?"

"That doesn't mean I have to make things worse - or enjoy it when it does get worse. Besides... why is this even necessary?" she huffed, folding her arms across her chest.

"Because you need the chance to get this off of your chest. You need to tell Inuyasha how you feel about what he did - how he handled things, or you'll never be able to let it go." Left unsaid was the extension, 'and move on', but Kagome heard it just the same.

Yasha broke in, then. "Feh. Let's just get this over with. I'm really not liking this whole thing."

Mika nodded. "Very well." She stood up and came around her desk, motioning him to a small chaise lounge that stood in the corner of her office, and once he laid down, she immediately began the regression, to Kagome's increasing discomfort.

It didn't take long before Yasha's breathing changed, and as he sat up, Kagome could see how even his features had changed just a bit... making him look just like Inuyasha.

But when he spoke...

"Ka-kagome?! he sputtered, looking around wildly. "Where the hell am I? And what the fuck is going on?" He shook his head, visibly confused, glancing down at his clothing. "Uhhh... what? I'm dead... I remember dying..."

Kagome flinched - hearing his voice again was almost too much for her, and tears were already running down her cheeks.

"Calm down, Inuyasha. You aren't really alive again. This is your next life - your reincarnation whose body you are seeing. We only awoke you consciousness, separate from his, so that Kagome could get the chance to tell you how she feels about what you did to her."

His glance lifted and went back to her at that, still confused. "What I did to her?" He shook his head again, then closed his eyes, pressing his hands to them, obviously trying to reconcile what was going on. "Wait... I only did what I had to, and since this is my reincarnation, then what I did was right all along, just like I told you, wench!"

At that, Kagome stood up, no longer able to stand seeing him. "Right?" she shrieked. "If you wanted that clay bitch then that was your prerogative, but you had NO RIGHT to send me back like you did! You weren't the only one there, you prick! I lost out on Shippo growing up, and Sango and Miroku's wedding, their lives...!"

She turned away from him, her arms coming up to wrap around herself as she suddenly felt cold. "You had no right to do what you did, you bastard," she whispered.

He growled low in his throat at her. "Do not speak of Kikyou that way. And as for the rest of it, you're better off here - where you belong."

At that, Mika broke in. "Are you so sure about that, Inuyasha? Why do you think you are here? Why do you think Kagome is here?"

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"Kagome isn't the same person you remember. You and Kikyou caused major damage to her with the things that you did."

Inuyasha stood up, slightly clumsy in his borrowed body, and walked to Kagome, stopping in surprise as she backed hastily away from him with an enraged hiss. Shocked, he looked around for a moment, then stumbled over to the wall, where he had spotted a mirror.

Silently, he took in his appearance, and then turned to look at the miko that was staring at him like he was a snake.

"I don't get it, Kagome. This is how it was supposed to be - I told you that I'd be waiting for you on this side, didn't I? And I was right."

Sudden rage flared within Kagome at that, and she threw her purse at him. "Bastard! You are NOT Yasha! Yasha is an entirely different person - and I told you when you pushed me through the well that you had sundered your fate from mine - you just didn't listen!"

She rushed forward then, hysterical, angry tears running down her face, and grabbed her purse, before looking at Mika. "I'm outta here. There's nothing I want to say to that bastard anymore - I don't want to even see him again." She looked up at Inuyasha's shocked face, then, and spoke, bitterness ripe within her quiet voice.

"Go to hell, Inuyasha. You made your choice. Go back and join your bitch in oblivion."

With that, she moved to the door and through it, slamming it behind her.

Inuyasha stared at the door, jaw hanging open, then wide-eyed, moved his gaze to Mika.

"What... that wasn't Kagome! What happened to her?"

Mika's brow rose. "You and Kikyou happened to her, that's what. By the time you both finished tearing her apart, there wasn't much left to put back together. It's been a long road... and it's nowhere near over yet, either."

He moved back over to the chaise, and laid down, a pained expression on his face. "Put me back to sleep, and bring this Yasha guy back. I can't stand to see her like that - and besides, my time's done. But please," he looked away, guilt clear in his eyes, "help her - take care of her."

Mika nodded, but said, "I'll put you back under in a few minutes - but I'm going to tell you what's happened first. Yasha wants you to know, as well - pre-incarnation or not, he pretty much hates you for what you and Kikyou did to Kagome - and the fact that it may mean he's lost his soul-mate. It's been a battle to even get her to talk to him, and certainly, there's been nothing else."

At Inuyasha's horrified look, she continued. "The kami may have fated your souls as mates, but after what you and Kikyou pulled on her, she may be too broken to ever accept her destiny with Yasha. She says she has no intentions of ever letting another male anywhere near her heart."

He laid his head back on the chaise with a thunk as he listened to everything that had happened to Kagome since he'd sent her back through the well, and when she was done, he had no strength left to even argue with her, instead just waiting hopelessly for her to send him back to sleep.

_I'm sorry, Kagome... I'm so sorry..._ he thought helplessly as the darkness once again came and swept him away.

_I never wanted to hurt you..._

When Yasha came to, he was immediately irate at the scent of Kagome's tears. "What the fuck did that bastard say to her, Mika? And how could you think this was a good idea, anyway?"

Mika sighed. "Calm down, Yasha. Actually, Kagome didn't stick around long - she yelled at him a little bit, then told him to kiss off, basically, and left. I finished things off by telling him just exactly what he'd done to her. He was very upset when I put him back to sleep inside your mind."

"Good! Stupid fuck deserves every bit of it." He cast his youki out, searching for Kagome's aura, and found it close by. "Well, she didn't go far - she's out in the waiting room, so I'm gone."

Mika nodded as he stood and took off out the door, and sighed. Picking up a pen, she began writing down all that had happened.

_There's so much bitterness in her - I don't know if it can ever really be healed._

---cCc---

When Yasha got out to the waiting room, he stopped in the doorway, unsure of what to say as he watched her. She was sitting, staring blankly out the small window, rubbing her hands up and down her arms.

He glanced around the room.

_At least that stupid Akina left...but I bet it's too much to hope for that she'll stay gone._

He sighed, and walked up to her, crouching before her and hesitantly reaching a finger up to trace her cheekbone.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly.

She nodded slowly. "Yeah, I guess. It just pissed me off when he called you _him_. You aren't - actually," she blushed a bit, "you're a lot nicer than Inuyasha ever was," she said quietly, and he smiled tentatively at her.

"Thanks... I hate what he did to you, and I'm glad that you can see what happened back then as something separate from me. I'd never do that to you, you know."

"I... I think I do know that, but it's still nice to hear it." With a deep sigh, she stood, and waited for him to do the same. "Are you ready to go, then?"

"Sure am," he said, smiling at her. "Let's blow this joint then."

As they walked, Kagome thought about what had happened, and a scowl touched her face as she turned to look at him. "You know... I don't care what Mika says - I am_ not _allowing her to regress me back to Kikyou."

Yasha tossed her a startled glance. "Why would you think she'd do that?"

That question obviously hit her hard, because she looked surprised for a moment, then said slowly, "I don't know... but I just didn't want to take any chances. I want it known that I would never agree to it."

Her companion shrugged. "There's no need for something like that, so I wouldn't worry about it, if I were you."

Kagome was silent for a few minutes, just allowing her mind to blank out what had happened, not wanting to think about it.

But...

"You... you don't _remember_ any of that, do you?" she asked cautiously.

He shook his head. "Nope, sure don't."

She nodded, relieved. "Good."

He chuckled then, and said, "On another note, was that stupid wench already gone when you got out into the waiting room?"

Kagome looked lost for a moment, then awareness flared in her eyes, along with a bit of temper. "Yes... and it's a damn good thing, too. I was pissed enough to purify her just for spite when I got out there."

Yasha couldn't help it, he laughed. She just looked so _fierce._

"Well, that wouldn't have gone over very well with the authorities," he managed to get out, and she looked sheepish for a moment.

"Yeah... well - anyway, she was gone, so it doesn't matter."

He rolled his eyes. "Bet she won't stay gone, though. Not my luck."

"She'd better, if she knows what's good for her," she spit out, hands clenching.

"I'm glad you aren't holding what Inuyasha did against me - if you were, I'd have no one to help me get rid of that vulture."

She blinked, and then stopped dead, staring at him, almost shocked.

_But... oh kami... that's _exactly_ what I've been doing - holding what Inuyasha did over Yasha's head - and keeping him at arms length because of it._

_How could I do that... and all this time, I didn't even realize it._

_I... need to think about this..._

She looked away with a small smile and started walking again. "Well...don't worry about that woman - we'll figure something out to get rid of her permanently."

He stared after her, frowning. _What the hell was that all about...?_

_---_cCc---

A/N: I apologize about the length of time since I posted the last chapter - I just have finished my moving and getting settled, and I've been dealing with a bit of writer's block with this story. It's just giving me fits right now, and I'm not even sure I like how this chapter turned out...

Amber


	24. Ripples

**Chapter 23: Ripples**

Aiko watched her daughter go about her shrine duties with a worried frown. Since the day she'd come back from her last appointment with Mika, she'd been withdrawn and distant with everyone - including Shippo.

That, in itself, was unusual.

What was even stranger, and more worrisome, was that she was still doing the 'shrine maiden' thing. After all that had happened, and the time that had passed, she had thought, indeed, they all had thought, that she would have given that up by now.

She hadn't, though, and Yasha himself was beginning to be convinced that she never would - that he was doomed to spend his life alone. Because if he didn't spend it with her, he had no intentions of spending it with anyone else.

He couldn't even imagine such a thing.

Even her father-in-law was finally becoming concerned - Kagome's behavior lately had all of them wondering...

Kagome herself, pretty much oblivious to everything around her, was going about her duties lost in her thoughts - as she had been since the day she'd spoken to Inuyasha.

She was fighting with herself.

One side of her felt guilty - horribly guilty, for taking out the hurt Inuyasha had given her on Yasha. Because, in her refusal to even give a future with him a _chance, _that's what she was doing, and that was finally clear to her.

On the other hand, the other side of her was not willing to let anyone in again. It insisted that it wasn't worth it. And that as soon as she gave him her heart, he'd decide that he didn't want it after all, and toss her - just like Inuyasha had done.

So she'd spent days fighting back and forth inside herself... and then there was the part of her that had once been Kikyou.

_You should be with him. He's the one meant for you._

Kagome almost growled at that. As if the stupid bitch cared about her being happy - she'd proven that well enough the first go-round.

_I didn't mind seeing you happy - just not with my Inuyasha. He wasn't meant for you - just as Yasha isn't meant for me. _

She snarled inwardly, wanting the voice of that vampire to shut up.

_What would have happened if you had never gone back to my time? You would have met Yasha, and you'd already be together - and happy._

_Yeah? _she shouted into her own mind. _But that didn't happen, now did it? Because I got sent back in time to fix your fuck-ups... and the thanks I got was being thrown away like so much trash! So just shut your mouth - I don't want to hear anything you have to say - if I could, I'd kick that piece of soul that's yours right out of me again..._

_But you can't, because I'm part of you. And what you got in the way of thanks has been standing right in front of you since you got back, if you weren't being so childish as to kick him while he's down and hurting over you, just to get back at me and Inuyasha._

Kagome fell silent at that, shocked beyond all belief.

_Is that what I'm doing?_

Echoing silence met that question for a long, almost eternal-seeming moment, and then, a resounding "Yes!" echoed back - all three parts agreeing on that.

Unbidden, and completely unnoticed by her own consciousness, her feet made their way towards the Goshinboku, and she plopped down amongst its roots, in shock from the revelation - the darkness in her soul wasn't so little anymore, she realized, and if she were facing Akago now, she'd have lost to him.

_What have I let myself become? This... this isn't me. I've let Inuyasha and Kikyou turn me into someone else... and that's my fault - not theirs._

Shame and anger at herself flooded her in that moment, and she scowled down at the ground.

_It's time to change this - to get myself back. I don't like what I've let myself become._

_I'm acting like... Kikyou. And I don't want to._

For the first time since she'd come back through the well that final time, she felt a weight slip off her shoulders, and a sense of peace settle inside her again... that peace she'd thought long gone, and irreplaceable.

With a determined look on her face, she stood up, and clapped her hands together. "I'm going upstairs, change out of this stupid miko get-up, and call Yasha. Maybe I can get him to go to a movie with me."

---cCc---

Half an hour later, she was changed into something she hadn't worn since she'd been home, face made up just a little, and ready to go.

_Now, just to call Yasha, and see if he's willing to go. _She winced. _That is, if he hasn't decided to just give up on me and go out with that Akina... _her eyes narrowed, and she almost growled.

Digging around on her desk, she picked up her new cell phone, and dialed his number, nervously waiting for hi to pick up.

"Hey, Yasha," she said when he answered the phone.

"Oh... Kagome! Is something wrong," he asked, suddenly sounding worried.

"No, no, I'm fine... I just wanted to ask you something." He could practically hear her blush over the phone, and he frowned, wondering what the hell was up. Her next words froze him.

"I was just wondering, uhm... if you wanted to go to the movies with me," she finally managed to spit out.

"Uh... me and Shippo, do'ya mean?" he asked uncertainly.

Kagome twisted her skirt in her fingers even tighter, then smoothed it back out. "Mmm, no... just you... and me, you know, like a date."

Silence.

"Hello? Yasha? Are you still there?"

"Uhm, yeah," he almost squeaked out, and flinched at himself. _Great, good going, Yasha, could you sound anymore like a fool? _"I'm still here... and yeah... I'd love to go to the movies, if your sure, that is...?" he trailed off.

"Yeah, I'm sure," she said, this time firmly. "I could meet you there, or..."

"No, no, I'll meet you at the shrine in say... half an hour? Or is that too soon?"

"Nope, that'll be good. I'll be ready... see you soon!" she chirped, and he agreed, before she hung up the phone, and he was left staring at his, almost thinking he'd fallen into the twilight zone.

_What was that? Did she really...? _And then he realized, _yes, that was real, and I only have half an hour to be there! Shit, I need to get ready!_

And he was off, ripping through everything in his wardrobe to find something good, then dressed himself faster than he'd ever done - left a note for his mom, and then hit the door, running so fast that his stalker and her friends almost didn't even see him...

It would, perhaps, have been better for them if they hadn't.

---cCc---

Luckily for Yasha, he made it with one minute to spare, and he knocked on the door, nerves almost shot as he waited for it to be answered, half-convinced that she'd changed her mind and decided she still hated him.

He'd barely pulled his hand back, though, before Kagome slid the door open, with a nervous smile, she stepped out, and closed the door behind her.

"Yasha..." she trailed off uncertainly.

"Hey," he smiled at her. "I'm... glad you called - although, I won't deny I'm utterly confused that you did," he said, as they began walking across the courtyard headed for the street.

She laughed a little, blushing slightly. "Well... I spent the last few days kinda locked up in my own mind, doing a lot of thinking," she looked away, shame clear on her face, "and I came to the conclusion that I've been acting like a spoiled brat. What happened with Inuyasha and Kikyou... there's no denying it hurt - but I knew he'd choose her eventually," she sighed.

Lifting her face up and closing her eyes, she let the breeze caress her face for a moment, before she opened her eyes again. "It doesn't make what he did right... but it's over, and done - and I haven't been fair to you by shutting you out. Your actions are your own, and so far, they've all been honorable. So... I decided that I needed to put all of that in the past - and start looking to the future." She looked at him, then, meeting his hopeful gaze.

"A future that I'm willing to see if you'll fit in, Yasha. What do you say?" she asked, a nervous smile once again lighting her face.

He stared at her, shock and hope and happiness blending together in his eyes for long moments before he could find his voice.

"Uhm... what do you mean, exactly? Are we like, still just friends hanging out... or...?" he asked, uncertainty once again tainting his voice.

Kagome flushed a becoming cranberry color, and dropping her eyes, mumbled, "Well... I did say this was a _date_... and 'just friends' don't really go out on dates, do they?"

Wild hope burst in his chest, but he cautiously asked, "So... you want to... date? Like in, your my girl, and I'm your guy?" he whispered, almost afraid to say it any louder for fear she'd disappear before his Kagome starved eyes.

She nodded slowly, still not able to look up at him, as her flush deepened, and he whooped into the air loudly, unable to control the flush of joy that darted through him.

"Hell yeah," he yelled, startling her into laughter, "did you really think I'd turn you down?!" he asked incredulously. "I've been wanting this for years, I've just been waiting for you to get done with your duties to the past!"

She chuckled,still blushing, but glad as hell that was over, and she didn't even flinch when he carefully reached out and took her hand as they started walking again, heading for the shrine entrance and the long flight of stairs they needed to navigate to get to the outside world.

"So... I don't really know anything about being a girlfriend," she said, "since I've never been one, but... "I think I'll enjoy learning," she said shyly, squeezing his hand softly.

He huffed a laugh. "Well, I don't know any more about it than you do... ain't never wanted anyone but you, anyway," he finished, and Kagome darted a shy gaze up to his, then looked away, still blushing a light pink.

"Oh," she breathed in wonder. "I hadn't really thought about that... that you'd been waiting for me. I guess we can learn together, then."

"Yeah... together," he smiled softly down at her. "That's the best word ever, when it comes to you and me, anyway."

He chuckled. "It's going to take some getting used to, though... I'd almost given up hope. What made you change your mind so suddenly? I mean, I know you said you'd done a lot of thinking, but this..." he moved their joined hands, "I didn't expect this," he finished.

Kagome tilted her head and thought about it. "I guess I can see how you'd think it was sudden, but... it really wasn't. I mean, I've spent the last two months being friends with you, and hanging out with you and Shippo, so it's not like I don't know you or anything. It's no different than if we'd met in school and hung out as friends for a while and then started dating."

He nodded in understanding. "I guess so... if you take away all that _other_ mess."

She knew right away what he meant. "And that's exactly what I did. I got hurt, grieved, and now it's time to move on. Simple as that. I'm not saying that it doesn't still hurt, because it does, and maybe, it'll hurt in some way for the rest of my life. But I'm no longer willing to contemplate letting that hurt be the only thing of note in my life."

He smiled then, genuine pleasure lighting up his golden eyes. "Now that sounds more like the Kagome I spent so many years protecting. I'm really glad to see her back," he finished softly.

She met his gaze with a serious look. "There will still be bad days, you know... it's not over yet, but... dawn is finally approaching."

He knew instantly what she meant, and hoped that she was right. He didn't want to lose her... especially not now that she was willing to try... willing to let him into her heart.

"I hope so, Kagome, I really do. Because you already know that I love you, and I don't want to have to hide it anymore."

She squirmed uncomfortably at that. "I... I..."

"You don't have to say it yet, Kagome. I don't want you to until you mean it with all your heart. But I want you to _know_ how I feel, and never doubt it, okay? There is no other for me."

"I do have feelings for you, Yasha, don't misunderstand, but... I'm not sure what they are yet, and I'm not ready to push it. I just want to be with you, and let things come naturally, okay?" She murmured an apology to the person in front of her as she was jostled from behind, and turning, was about to say something, when she caught sight of Yasha's stalker and her little buddies a little ways back, obviously shadowing them.

With an angry scowl, she turned back around and hissed, "Don't look now, but stalker chick is just behind us with some of her friends."

Yasha winced at the anger in her voice, and Kagome immediately apologized.

"I'm not mad at you, Yasha, but I am going to kick her out of our lives, as long as you don't mind, of course," she said.

"Go right ahead," he said, urbanely. "I don't mind in the least."

She grinned mischievously, and he grinned wickedly back.

_Uh-oh... wonder what she's gonna unleash on that freaky bitch? That look never meant anything good for the one on the receiving end of it..._

---cCc---

Sesshoumaru sat back, hands steepled on his desk before him as he considered the call he'd just received. Yasha's mother had returned home to find that her son had gone out... on a date with Kagome.

_Perhaps she is finally coming out of what the barbarian I was stuck with as a brother did to her. It is good news._

Closing his eyes, he sighed, and his shoulders slumped, just slightly. Slight as it was, however, for those that knew him, it would have been a worrisome sign.

He was simply tired, and in that moment, it showed.

_Once I have finished my final duty to her, and my fool of a brother, I will let go, I think... I am more than ready. All the centuries do now is weigh on me, wearing me down little by little. I think... I think I envy you, father. You escaped all of this - perhaps I will at least find peace once I have moved on, _he thought.

He sat back, letting his eyes stay closed, and thought about centuries past - when he did nothing but wander the lands and fight those who were worthy. Days when all he cared about was conquest, and the next powerful opponent.

Days before he'd been forced to do his duty by mating one he could never love, and providing heirs for his lands.

He'd walked with her, and lived with her, even slept next to her for centuries until her death, and yet... he'd never felt more than a light respect for her - no matter what she'd done.

_And I never could have given her anymore than what I did, no matter how many more years she might have lived. But at least, I did my duty, and the lands will remain in the hands of those that carry the blood of my forefathers._

_Yes... that much I did. Always, I did my duty. And now I am tired of duty - I just want peace._

With another weary sigh, he opened his eyes, and sat back up, straightening his posture, and once again hiding his weariness behind his usual stoic facade.

_Soon... but not yet, _he thought.

And with that, he picked up the phone, and made another call.

_Duty calls..._

---cCc---

A/N: Yeah... in this fic, Sesshoumaru's fate won't be a happy one... though he'll find a sort of peace in the end, don't expect a happy ending for him. But don't worry... I really can't stand to make Sesshoumaru suffer, I've got to big a crush on him. This will be the only fic I ever write with that type of ending for the daiyoukai.

As for the chapter, hope everyone enjoys - and sorry it took a while, this one and Malice are just not making it easy on me, and my plot bunnies have all dried up on these two stories. But I'm still out there, and even if it takes longer, I'll still get them done.

Amber


	25. Confrontations

**Chapter 24: Confrontations**

Kagome was fuming.

It wasn't as if fate hadn't screwed her once already, sending her back five hundred years to fall in love with an inu-hanyou - only to have him toss her out of his life once she'd fixed his girlfriends mistakes.

And now she was back in her time, finally settling into dating the one that the fates had _supposedly _meant her for - and guess what?

More fricken' competition.

She was ready to strangle the fates.

Why couldn't they just leave her alone? If she was supposed to be with Yasha, why did it have to get turned into another damn competition between her and some other female?

Of course, she admitted to herself grudgingly, this time around the male in question, Yasha, wanted _her_, not this other woman. And that was the only reason she was able to retain her sanity this time around.

_But, _she mused with a nasty look in her eye, _that little stalker and her friends are asking for it - and I'm gonna give it to them, too._

She glanced sideways at Yasha as he sat, engrossed in the movie, and smiled just a little to herself. Despite his similar coloring to Inuyasha, he didn't look the same - he was actually more handsome, in her opinion. And the fact that he was here, with her, because he wanted to be, really felt good.

Her smile widened as he glanced at her and grinned, then put his arm around her and tugged her close. She could actually feel the nasty glare from that Akina and her buddies hitting between her shoulders, and unlike the feeling of discomfort one would normally get from such a thing, she was enjoying it.

_Hah! Take that, you stupid stalker bitch. You can't have him!_

Snuggling just a bit into him in response, she couldn't help but feel the pure joy in his aura at just this tiny bit of affectionate contact, and she felt another thrill of guilt pass through her.

_He's so starved for attention... and it's all because of me._

Just then, she felt something ping her in the back of the head, and she turned her head to stare right at Akina and her toadies, and grinned slowly, wickedly.

_Your turn's coming, _she mouthed, and the girl narrowed her eyes at her, uncertainty flickering in them, and then Kagome once more faced forward, determined to think of something to make it very clear to the creepy wench that she'd be safest if she backed off.

_I refuse to share this time around - there's only gonna be one girl in Yasha's life - and that's me. I won't go through that mess again._

Her eyes narrowed in thought, she wasn't really paying any attention to the movie, and Yasha was completely aware of that fact - he just didn't care. Let her mind wander - at least she was here with him, had agreed to be his girlfriend, and was cuddling with him outright.

This, as far as he was concerned, was the best day of his life so far - and he was going to savor it.

And with the shivers currently running down his spine from the angered eyes on his back, he was pretty sure what Kagome was thinking about.

Akina.

He sighed internally - she couldn't have picked a worse time to start stalking him. But then again...

_Maybe this was actually the best time... it's mostly because of her and her creepy friends that Kagome's let me this close this fast. _

He chuckled to himself at that thought. _Possessive little wench. _And then his expression tightened. _Although, after what that prick and Kikyou the bitch put her through, guess I can't blame her. I'd be that way, too._

_Hell, who am I kidding? Now that she's given me half the chance, I ain't about to let no other guy anywhere near her, either. Guess that makes her and I even._

With that thought, he tightened his arm about her shoulders just a bit more, and lost himself back in the movie. By the time it was over, he'd almost forgotten about his stalker and her toadies - until Kagome brought it up.

"Hey, Yasha?" she asked, a thoughtful tone in her voice that had him wondering.

"Yeah, what is it? he asked slowly.

"Do you think that stupid wench back there is gonna follow us back to the shrine?"

He huffed a bit, then nodded reluctantly, looking around as they waited for the crowd to leave before getting up. "Yeah, probably. Why?"

"I've got an idea to scare her off - but I need my bow." She hurried to calm him when he tensed and looked down at her wide-eyed. "No, I'm not gonna actually shoot her, but she won't know that, now will she?"

He stared at her, then chuckled, and hugged her close for a moment, before reluctantly letting go and standing up.

"You're scary, wench, ya know that?" he asked rhetorically, waiting as she stood.

Kagome smiled at him, then took his hand in hers and let him lead them from the theatre. "Oh, well - everybody's got a mean side somewhere. Hey..." she trailed off momentarily, then looked up at him and finished, "wanna go get something to eat? I'm kinda hungry. We can go back to the shrine afterwards."

He grinned at her and nodded. "Sure. Sounds good... how about Mitsuki's?" he asked, and Kagome laughed and nodded her assent.

_Figures he'd choose the ramen restaurant - good thing they have other stuff, too. Sometimes he's so like Inuyasha it hurts, _she thought, then deliberately cast those thoughts aside - she refused to think about him anymore.

Yasha looked over at her as they walked. "So... what is this big plan to chase the scary bitch off?" he asked, and Kagome blushed, but chuckled.

"Oh... since she's youkai, or at least hanyou, she's susceptible to purification. I'm gonna give her the scare of her life, that's all."

"Ah... I get it," he grinned. "Threaten to purify her ass. Well, hopefully that'll work. If not, then I don't know what else to do but go to Sesshoumaru."

Kagome shook her head. "I don't think that'll be necessary. If I have to, I can even give her a nice little jolt - I won't kill her, you know that, but scare her... even zap her a bit..." she trailed off, then finished, "That, I can and _will_ do."

Yasha just squeezed her hand and kept walking.

By the time dinner was over, Kagome couldn't wait to get back to the shrine; not because of Yasha, but because of that creepy bitch and her cronies. They'd had the nerve to follow them even into the cafe, and she'd gotten hotter and hotter as she and Yasha both tried to ignore the girl.

It just wasn't possible.

Once they'd paid for their dinner, she practically dragged him off towards the shrine, scowling and letting her imagination run wild with all the things she'd like to do to the witch. It was graphic, it was mean, and it was blood-thirsty - and it went without saying that she'd never actually _do_ any of those things... but imagining it helped to calm her temper.

Yasha didn't say a word on the way back to her house, knowing full well that the look on her face meant that she was busy plotting, and interrupting her thoughts would not be healthy for him.

She was scary when she was angry, and it was not wise to disturb her when she was - it meant that formidable temper would end up turned on you.

Not something he relished the thought of.

---cCc---

Kagome had it all planned.

As soon as those girls hit the top step of the shrine, they'd be in her sights, and she'd greet them, bow drawn and aimed right at them.

The shock alone should burn that memory into each one of those girl's minds - especially when that arrow would be surrounded by a corona of purity that would light up the shrine grounds.

And that's exactly the way it played out - the moment the last of those girls hit the courtyard, she drew a bead on them and then started the light show.

It was extremely gratifying to see them all freeze, jaws hanging open and fear filling their faces as their human disguises fell away before her and she could see them for what they really were.

"Not so cocky now, are ya?" she yelled, an evil grin backlit by her power making her seem devilish; the girls surrounding Akina flinched back, and one of them even whimpered.

Akina herself was terrified, you could see it, but she was stubborn, and refused to back down easily.

Kagome liked that, in a way - it gave her the go ahead to continue this game. She waited for the girl to speak, knowing she was going to.

"Who the hell are you? There hasn't been a miko of any real power since Yasha's great-great-grandmother died! Where the hell did you come from, anyway?"

Lowering her bow slightly, she studied the girl, then laughed, and setting it down, she twirled the arrow idly in her hand, keeping it flamed with power.

It made a mesmerizing light show.

"I'm Kikyou's reincarnation, unfortunately for you - and me." She rolled her eyes. "And it doesn't really matter, you know - who I am is none of your business. What _is_ your business is that if I catch you or your little bitches here anywhere around Yasha again I'll show you how it feels to be purified. And if that's not enough, above and beyond that, we'll get Sesshoumaru-sama to notify your parents and family about your behavior. How's that?" she asked, smirking at the way the girl paled.

"S-sesshoumaru-sama? And just why would he listen to you, anyway?"

Kagome stared at her as if she were stupid. "Hello, it's his _nephew_ your stalking, baka! Not only that, but I know Sesshoumaru, too. He'll listen."

Akina narrowed her eyes, glaring at her. "Listen, I--" she broke off, something seeming to have occurred to her, and she stared hard at Kagome. "Did you say that you are the reincarnation of his great-grandmother?"

"Yeah, what of it?"

Her nose wrinkled in disgust. "Gross!" She shot a look at Yasha, who'd so far stayed quiet in the background. "How could you? That's disgusting!"

At that, he stepped forward and, hands in his pockets, looked at her quietly. "You don't know anything about it, Akina. She may be Kikyou's reincarnation, but she's no blood relative - and I'm the reincarnation of Inuyasha, my great-great-grandfather, anyway. Our souls are bound by fate, when one reincarnates, so does the other. We've always been together, and we always will be."

She stared at him for a moment, stunned, but then shook her head disbelievingly. "You're lying, or she's fooling you, or something - that's bullshit," she yelled piercingly, though she flinched when the loud tone made Kagome flame her arrow brighter.

"I don't care what you believe, little girl," she said scathingly, "but it doesn't really matter who I am, as I said, or who he is. What matters is that you and your families really _don't _want the Western Lord breathing down your backs - and he will if you don't_ back off_."

At that, the girls surrounding Akina began babbling apologies and explanations, then they all broke, taking off down the shrine steps as though satan himself were after them. Stunned again, Akina just watched them, then turned back to look at Kagome and Yasha.

"Listen up, Akina. No matter how much you stalk and harass me, you ain't never gettin' down my pants," Yasha said bluntly, laughing when the girl flushed at his words. "I've never wanted anyone else but Kagome, and I never will. You ain't her - ergo, you have no chance. Take my words and walk away before you get humiliated any further."

The girl stared at him, then at Kagome, her eyes unwillingly drawn to the brilliant arrow that she was still idly twirling, and she paled and stepped back as Kagome moved closer, the purity surrounding the arrow beginning to tingle unpleasantly against her skin.

"I'm not gonna give up," she said stubbornly, in a low tone, "there's something about you - I'm not sure what it is, but I'm gonna find out, and when I do..." she trailed off and then spun on her heel and ran off, heading straight for the shrine stairs.

Neither of those left behind tried to stop her.

Yasha glanced over at Kagome as she sighed and let her power fizzle out, placing it back in the quiver and picking up the bow to put it away. He watched silently and then his shoulders dropped a bit.

"I'm sorry, Kagome," he said, sounding almost tired. "Now she's gonna be after you."

Kagome looked up and chuckled. "Don't worry about it - I'm not. At least she'll be concentrating on me instead of you. I don't really care what she does - even if she found out about the well and all of that, who's she gonna tell? No one would ever believe her." She shook her head. "The only secret I have is one she can't threaten me with, so it's no big deal."

He shrugged. "Maybe so, but still..."

She took his arm and led him in the direction of her house, knowing that it was time she get home, and he needed to as well.

"Forget about her. Look," she smiled up at him encouragingly, "I had a really good time tonight - even despite the interference from the bitch from hell." She rolled her eyes. "I've got to go in now, but... call me tomorrow, okay?"

They'd come to a stop just outside the door, and he nodded, smiling just a bit as he looked down at her. "Kagome... can I... can I kiss you goodnight?" he asked, sounding so uncertain, and Kagome's heart skipped a beat.

She swallowed hard, but nodded, and he reached up and rested one hand against her cheek softly, using it to tilt her head - and then he lowered his head to hers, and brushed his lips across hers.

In that first touch, her eyes closed, and she was surprised at the reaction her body had - it was entirely different than the one and only kiss she'd ever shared with Inuyasha.

This kiss was hot, and it felt like she'd been zapped, every nerve coming to instantaneous life, and her eyes popped open, going so wide in stunned surprise that she inadvertently pulled away, causing him to drop his hand and step back in dismay.

She realized that he thought she was rejecting him, and she stepped forward, pulling him back to her before he could walk away. "Don't do that!" she said. "I wasn't pushing you away... I was just surprised," she blushed, and looked up at him shyly. "I've only ever had one kiss before... and it wasn't anything like_ that_."

He nodded, then asked nervously, "Good - or bad?"

She hugged him, then, and stepped back, a shy smile lighting her face. "Good - definitely good, Yasha." With that, she stood on tiptoe and kissed him quickly, then blushed even deeper and practically ran into the house, a, "Call me tomorrow!" flung over her shoulder before she disappeared behind a closed door.

He stared at it bemusedly for a few moments, then ran his tongue over his lips, wanting to savor his first taste of Kagome.

As her flavor burst across his tastebuds, he knew - she was the best thing he'd ever tasted.

Smiling bigger than he'd ever smiled before, he turned and walked away, whistling cheerfully.

This had definitely been the best day of his life.

---cCc---

When Kagome got upstairs, all she could do was throw herself across her bed, and lay there, staring at the ceiling.

That one kiss had just thrown everything that she'd been holding onto straight out the window, and she had even more deep thinking to do than she'd thought.

Because that kiss was mind-blowing. As simple as it had been, it had, at the same time, completely shaken her world.

Nothing she'd ever experienced had prepared her for that kiss.

When she'd kissed Inuyasha, in Kaguya's castle, she'd done it because she wanted to, and because she couldn't think of anything else to get his attention. It had been pleasant - there was no denying that, and it had answered the emotions in her heart - namely love for him.

But this kiss... _this_ kiss was completely different. The feelings it engendered were a thousand times more intense than that kiss she'd had so long ago had been.

And it left her longing, as the other one had not. Longing for more... a lot more.

That made her think that perhaps, as much as she was loath to admit it...

Maybe everyone had been right.

Maybe Yasha was her match.

That thought scared her, as much as it intrigued her.

---cCc---

A/N: And here's the next chapter - hope everyone enjoys!

Amber


	26. Differences

**Chapter 25: Differences **

The first thing on Yasha's mind when he woke the next morning was the taste of Kagome - as he ran his tongue over his lips for the thousandth time since that kiss, he smiled with the knowledge that he could still taste her.

There was nothing like it, and suddenly, he could hardly wait until the day he woke with her by his side, knowing that he could taste her every day for the rest of his life - provided they could ever get there, of course.

He frowned lightly at that thought... even thinking about the possibility that they wouldn't work out scared the hell out of him, but he brushed those thoughts away - he refused to darken this beautiful day with negative thoughts.

As his excitement and happiness thrummed within him again, he jumped up, and rushed to get ready for the day. He had to get over to Shippo's... he needed someone to let it all out with, and he knew the fox would love the hell out of the story - especially the part about what Kagome had done to Akina and her buddies.

Then a frown twitched across his brow again as he thought back to the confrontation, as something about it began to bother him. It took him a few minutes to get what it was, but when he did...

His frown deepening, he decided to ask Shippo what he thought about it, and depending on what the fox had to say, he might call Mika and talk to her about it.

He hadn't really been paying attention at the time, what with everything else that had been going on, but Kagome had been much more foul-mouthed last night than she had ever been before. She had never been the type for cursing - that was one thing he remembered greatly from his past life - Inuyasha had been sat more than once for his dirty mouth.

_So what changed? _he thought, a little bit worried, though not overly concerned yet, still... it needed addressed. For such a thing about her, a major personality trait like that, to have changed, meant that there could be other things that had done so as well.

That thought wasn't very comforting, and as his happiness suddenly dimmed a little, he grabbed a bag of dried meats from the kitchen, and took off out the door, headed at top speed for Shippo's.

On the way there, it didn't escape him that there was no sign of his stalker, and despite his concern over Kagome's behavior, he couldn't help but laugh at the memories of last night - and at the fact that he was free from the crazy bitch named Akina.

The trip only took minutes, and just like that, he was knocking impatiently on his friend's door.

He had to laugh again, though, when the door swung open, showing a rather disturbed, messy fox - apparently, he'd still been sleeping.

"What the hell, man?! It's like, almost eleven - what're ya doing still sleeping?" Yasha burst out, and Shippo gave him a hard glare even as he stepped back and let him into his foyer.

"Some of us have a life, and I was up late last night. Hell, I didn't even get in until two in the morning! Now... what are you doing pounding on my door?"

"I got lots to tell ya, Shippo - so fucking much happened last night!" Yasha slipped his shoes off and bounced into the living room, plopping down on the couch as Shippo slouched over to his favorite chair and slumped down in in, a grin settling on his still sleep-flushed face.

"So what's got you all cheerful, Yash?" he asked, curious now. He'd never seen the hanyou look so... so_ happy_.

"I don't know how your night went, but mine was the best ever," he chirped, and Shippo stared at him with a raised brow. Yasha being cheerful was a rather... _disturbing_ sight. Especially in light of who he had been in a previous life.

"Well?" he asked, beginning to be impatient.

Yasha flapped his hands at the kitsune laughingly. "Okay, okay, fine. So this is what went down. I was sitting at home last night, bored as hell, when Kagome called me." He grinned at Shippo's start of surprise. "Yeah, that was my reaction. And then, when she told my why she was calling, I almost choked. _She_ asked _me _out on a _date_, man!"

Wide-eyed, Shippo just stared at the hanyou. He was utterly shocked.

"And then, when I got to the shrine, oh, hell, it only got even better! We were talking as we walked, and she basically said she wanted to be my girlfriend!! So we're dating now... isn't that _awesome_?!"

Shippo cleared his throat and blinked. "Wow. I wonder what made her do such an about-face? I mean, she's even been avoiding me for a while now... I was starting to think we were losing her."

Yasha nodded, a grimace passing over his mobile features at that. "I know... I was really beginning to get depressed, sure that we'd never get any further, but then..." his face brightened again, "she even let me kiss her... and, boy was it awesome!"

Shippo snickered at the look on the hanyou's face... he looked pole-axed - it was freakin' hilarious, at least in his opinion. "I bet your stalker loved that," he chortled.

He wasn't prepared for the raucous laughter that _that_ engendered.

"Oh... that's the part you're really gonna love. Kagome got tired of the stalker and lit on a way to get rid of her... sorta." He scowled. "I think she's focused on Kagome now, like she wants to prove Kagome's some kind of freak or something. But anyway, she scared the hell outta the bitch, and her friends."

Shippo just chuckled, sitting back against the chair, relaxed. "She always was fiery when she was defending people she cared about," he said.

Yasha frowned again at that. "Yeah, but there was something kinda different about it last night. It was... darker... than anything I remember from her before. She cursed a lot, too. I've never seen her like that - she was actually enjoying scaring those girls, and threatening them."

Shippo sat up a bit at that, a frown growing on his face, as well. "That doesn't sound too good, does it?" He looked down, scowling, but before he could say anything else, Yasha's phone rang. He didn't pay too much attention as the hanyou answered, until he realized who was calling.

"Hey, Kagome," Yasha said, almost shyly, wondering if she was feeling different about things with the light of day. The thought scared him.

"Hey, Yash... so... I was wondering - did you want to hang out today? We could see if Shippo wants to, too..." she trailed off, sounding uncertain.

Yasha scrambled to answer. "I could ask him, I'm at Shippo's right now, if you want."

"Sure!"

He glanced at Shippo, and the kitsune nodded firmly. Yasha put his hand over the phone, muffling the microphone as Shippo whispered, "I want to ask her about last night - you know, what happened with Akina. That way, I can see her face. I just need to know..." he trailed off and Yasha nodded.

"Shippo said that sounds cool - so when do you want us to swing by and pick you up? And what do you want to do?"

"Hmmm... well, we could go play mini golf, or something, go to the mall - but guys don't usually like that - or we could--"

Yasha cut her off. "Mini golf sounds fine, woman, now just tell me when we should pick you up?"

She huffed at him. "In an hour?"

"That's fine. We'll see you then." He hung up without waiting for a reply, knowing it would drive her nuts - when they saw her he was gonna get an earful... but that was okay. It would keep her in high spirits.

"She said an hour. That enough time for you, fox boy?" Yasha grinned at the irritated glare cast his way.

"It's fine, stupid, now stop talkin' and let me go get ready. Mini golf," he huffed with annoyance as he walked from the room. "Remind me to never let you pick where we go again!"

Yasha laughed. "You're just jealous 'cause the last time we played, I won!" he called out, shaking his head as he was answered by a slamming door.

_Spoil sport, _he thought, as he settled down to wait.

So far, so good. The day had started out excellently... hopefully, it would end just as well.

---cCc---

Shippo was actually nervous about this outing.

He let a sour look pass across his face as they waited for Kagome to join them - he hated feeling this way, but what Yasha had told him about his favorite miko's behavior...

Well, she wasn't acting normal. And that worried him.

So he fretted, and fumed, and waited impatiently for the young woman to join them, only to be blinded by her smile when she finally did.

"Hi, Shippo," she chirped cheerily, and he wiped the peeved look off his face to smile back at her, though the sour look remained - on the inside. All this cheerfulness was actually grating - first Yasha, and now her - especially since he was still rather sleepy, and hadn't planned on going anywhere today.

"Hey, K'gome. So..." he broke off as they turned and began making their way across the shrine courtyard, "... I hear that you and Yash...?" He left it open, just to see what she would say.

She blushed, but smiled shyly; it was a look he'd seen on her face many times before, and was purely Kagome. She glanced sideways at an also blushing Yasha, then nodded.

"Mhmm. I finally realized that I wasn't being fair to him by not giving him a chance, so I decided it was time to do that." She took a deep breath, then reached over and grabbed Yasha's hand with her own.

She didn't miss the hanyou's wide smile at her actions.

Shippo watched the two interact, and wondered if the hanyou was going to start initiating courting behaviors. He was well aware that Kagome had already started what amounted to _human_ courting, thus, the dating - but youkai, and hanyou, had certain rituals all their own, and he didn't think Kagome was aware of that.

_Since the only other person that she'd ever really had any sort of relationship with, never could pull his head out of his ass, _Shippo thought sourly, his thoughts touching on Inuyasha.

_Bah. Yasha's different - he's never wanted anyone but Kagome - so she won't ever have to deal with him being disloyal._

But that left another thing that he would need to talk to Yasha about - if he and Kagome were going to get serious, he would have to be upfront with Kagome and tell her everything - including all youkai courting rituals. She wouldn't be left in the dark this time around.

As the day wore on, Shippo began to be a little more aware of certain... _differences_, in the girl that he had known. For one thing, Yasha was right - while not a lot of naughtier words passed her lips, some did, and that was a rather large change from the way things used to be.

Also, there was a certain darkness that tainted the purity of the girl's soul, and as time went on, he began to suspect that that was the part of her that had once been Kikyou. It was a separate part, something that shouldn't be; the soul should all be joined as one - but hers _wasn't._

_So she's still fighting the part of her that was Kikyou - she really doesn't want to accept that part of herself. _He scowled inwardly. _Can't blame her, there - that bitch never did anything nice to Kagome, that's for sure. But she has to accept that part of herself - she won't be whole until she does._

_If she keeps fighting it, that darkness is only going to get bigger._

Somehow, they had to figure out how to get her past that final hurdle. And with a peculiarly sinking feeling, Shippo was pretty sure that hurdle was going to be the hardest one to get past.

_Fuck... why can't any of this be easy? Hasn't fate fucked with her enough, making enough of her life hard, that something should be allowed to come easy for once?_

For the first time ever, Shippo was actually glad when the day out with the two ended, and Kagome was dropped off at home - he had a lot to discuss with Yasha, and it wasn't anything he wanted Kagome privy to. At least, not yet - they didn't need her going off the deep end.

After they left her, silence fell between the two, and was maintained all the way through until they reached Yasha's house. He'd deliberately steered his friend towards home - they needed to talk, and he wanted the hanyou's parents there just in case - the two older people could be used as sounding boards for things if they were needed.

Once they arrived at his house, Yasha checked in with his mother, who welcomed Shippo happily, inviting him to stay for dinner, then pulled the fox into his room. The moment the door was closed, he turned, arms folded across his chest, causing an unknowing shiver to slip down Shippo's spine - he really looked like Inuyasha in that moment.

"Keh. So... what do you think?" he asked.

Shippo rolled is eyes at his friend. "Yeah, thanks for the offer to sit down and make myself comfortable," he said with heavy irony as he tossed himself down on the hanyou's bed. "Geeze, Yash, your _so_ polite, I just don't know what to think."

"Aww, shut the hell up," the hanyou groused, throwing himself into his overstuffed recliner, knocking his playstation controller off the seat as he dropped. "Start talkin'. You spent most of the day being quiet and watching, so..."

Shippo nodded. "I see what you meant about the whole cursing thing - that's definitely different." He laid his head back and stared at the ceiling. "I think that we should maybe talk to Sesshoumaru... I'm pretty sure I know what's wrong, and it's gonna take all of us to pull her through it."

Yasha scowled, then a growl left his throat. "Well?! What the hell's wrong then?"

"She hates Kikyou so much that it's tainting her soul, and that portion of her soul that used to be Kikyou is still separated from the rest of her soul, even though it's inside her, it hasn't even begun to heal the division within itself." He sighed, closing his eyes. "She has to deal with that portion of herself - or she'll never heal, and her soul will only grow dark, and divide even more into smaller parts... like a fracture that's not taken care of."

Yasha stared at him, then looked away, a solemn expression settling on his face. "Keh. Guess I'm not surprised... not like Kikyou didn't deserve to have Kagome's hatred... but hating things isn't Kagome, and that's only going to break her apart. We probably should talk to Sesshoumaru... he'll have better ideas than the rest of us on how to get Kagome to start dealing with that part of her soul."

Shippo had opened his eyes and glanced over at his friend, when he saw the dark look in his eyes, he had to cheer him up. "Hey... don't look so down, stupid. She's getting better, isn't she? Just a few days ago, things were a _lot _worse, right? She keeps making huge leaps towards getting back to being _Kagome_... just have faith that she'll eventually find her way back."

Yasha glanced over at the kitsune, and smiled, albeit half-heartedly. "Yeah... I guess you're right. It's just... hard sometimes. But let's just worry about food right now," he lifted his nose into the air, sniffing hard, "Mom's about to call us for dinner."

With a discernible effort, the inu pushed thoughts of Kagome to the back of his mind and tried to enjoy the meal with his family, and his friend.

_Kagome..._

---cCc---

_See? I told you... every minute you spend in his company makes you happier. Once you stop doing the opposite of what you want to do just to spite me, you'll be a lot better off. _

_Eventually, Kagome, you'll have to accept me back as part of you - without me, you will never be whole._

Kagome went from happy, to pissed, in three seconds flat, as the part of Kikyou that she was unwillingly harboring, began to speak within her mind, and she snarled inwardly.

_Shut up, you stupid bitch! I might be happy, but the minute you start talking, I get _un_happy. And I don't have to take _crap _back - I haven't been whole since you stole that part of my soul away from me and contaminated it, and I'm still here!_

The only times that Kagome was happy anymore is when that piece of Kikyou was silent - and as time went on, the stupid bitch was getting noisier and noisier, making it that much harder to ignore her.

As much as she was getting better in other ways, that was the one thing she wasn't budging on - she wanted _nothing _to do with that part that had been Kikyou. If she could, she'd kick that psychic vampire right out of herself and never let her back in.

That was one thing that she still held anger at everyone about - making her take that bit back against her will. In some ways, it almost felt like rape. She felt violated - forced to do something that she hated, and it had caused a major shift in how she viewed her family, her mother especially.

No longer the sweet, innocent little Kagome that everyone remembered, she felt old, and wizened... and a great deal less trusting.

She knew their reasoning - that she'd been losing her mind and was fast descending towards madness... but it didn't change how she felt. She had no use for the portion of soul that had been Kikyou - it was dark, and tainted, and was slowly causing darkness to swallow the rest of herself.

_I wish I could just purify myself - hell, I managed to purify a hell of a lot of demons back in the past, but I can't even do it to myself to save myself from the darkness. Will I one day be swallowed by the same blackness that formed Naraku?_

As far as Kagome was concerned, the blackness tainting her soul because of Kikyou was the same as Naraku's bleak, dark soul, and that made the two beings the same in her eyes.

_Kikyou should have just given Inuyasha up, and gone with Onigumo when he wanted her to, _Kagome thought angrily, her aura pulsing with a corresponding darkness at that.

And deep inside, where what was once Kikyou was housed, a wordless pulse of sorrow curled outwards...

_When will I forgive myself? _the specter of Kikyou wondered.

_Will I ever find a way to do so?_

---cCc---

A/N: And now we see that, despite the gains made in the last few chapters, there's still a major battle for sanity in Kagome's future. Things are looking up, but there's still darkness to deal with - the most difficult part of the battle is still to come for her... she has to figure out how to bring peace to herself. But first, she has to _want _peace for herself, and accept all parts of her soul.

Hope this chapter keeps everyone entertained...

Amber


	27. Shards of Me

**Chapter 26: Shards of Me**

Kagome stared out her window, knees drawn up and arms around herself protectively the day after her outing with Yasha and Shippo as her thoughts went round and round.

_Hah. How the hell do I protect myself from something that's already inside me?_

As the words of the song she was listening to filtered into her consciousness, she had to laugh inwardly, though it wasn't because she felt it was humorous.

It was ironic, and horrible.

_Do I know the difference between myself and Kikyou? Hell, even Inuyasha couldn't figure it out... at least not until the end when he got rid of me. I guess he'd figured it out then, _she thought, bitterly.

No matter that a lot of things were healing from what she'd gone through - she was still bitter about the end to her adventures - and the fact that she'd been forced to take back the bitch. And that was keeping her from fully closing the door on that past, and moving on.

She _knew_ that... but she couldn't seem to figure out how to do anything about it.

Oh, she knew what everyone would say. 'Accept the part that's Kikyou back into yourself, forgive her, and move on'. She snorted. Easy enough for everyone else to say. But it _wasn't_ that easy.

She didn't want to forgive this. She was tired of forgiving everything that everyone did to her. It was like saying that she had no validity, that it didn't matter what anyone did to her, because they were more important than she was.

Bottom line was, she was tired of forgiving Kikyou.

She'd forgiven that bitch over and over in the past - and look what it had gotten her.

Used, abused, and thrown aside like a worthless piece of garbage.

So where did that leave her?

Stuck.

Because she knew, deep down, that's what the kami wanted... they wanted her to, once again, just pass off what Kikyou had done to her, and what Inuyasha had done, as though it didn't matter, blithely wandering along all stupid and happy.

But it_ did _matter. At least, to her, it did, even if the gods thought Kikyou and Inuyasha were more important than she was. She was tired of being everyones second best, their scapegoat... the one that got dumped on for every nasty thing that was going to happen.

Didn't she count for _anything?_

_If you didn't, the gods wouldn't have given you Yasha, now would they? You need to stop acting sorry for yourself, and take me back. You won't know any peace until you do, _that fractured piece of soul whispered into her mind.

_Sorry for myself? _she snarled. _So what if I _do_ feel sorry for myself? Not like it matters... you got what you wanted, didn't you? Inuyasha, with me gone, thrown back down the well and kicked back to the future so you could be happy. So why don't you leave me the hell alone? _

_Or is your final happiness dependent on me going insane?_

_Is that it? You won't be happy completely until I'm totally crazy - out and out destroyed? Just shut up and go away... too much more of this, and I'll be _happy _to kill myself and just get it over with. Then we can just go to hell and spend an eternity hating each other there._..

As bad as she felt about even thinking something like that, it was, strictly speaking, the truth. She couldn't take much more of Kikyou's disgusting soul - and talking to her in her head was just starting to drive her crazy. And she couldn't even get away from it - not with it right inside her mind with her.

She sighed, and tightened her grip around herself.

_I'm sorry, Yasha... maybe the only way to ever heal for me would be to die, and move on into the next life. _

_That might truly be the only way to ever fix this mess._

She shivered sadly as she hoped that it wouldn't come to that...

But she'd rather be dead than insane.

---cCc---

The first thoughts in Yasha's mind the next morning was, of course, about Kagome, and the worry he felt about her state of mind.

While he was overjoyed to finally be a couple, that wouldn't continue if she couldn't finish healing the division within her soul.

And that scared him - because even though it had only been two days, he was irrevocably entwined with her. If she didn't heal... if she didn't, and went crazy, or even died, he would lose his own sanity, as well.

Not something he wanted.

With a heavy heart, he got up and dressed for the day, then headed out into the kitchen looking for something to eat... and his mother, one last thought haunting him...

_If this keeps up, I'm going to end up hating _myself_ so much that I'll be just as badly off as Kagome - and all because I carry that bastard Inuyasha's soul. This whole mess is just one big circle jerk!_

"Good morning, Yasha, sweetie," his mom said cheerfully as he stepped into the kitchen. Then she noticed his face, and her heart fell.

"Honey, what's wrong," she asked with concern, walking over to him and putting a loving hand on his arm.

He put his hand over hers, and squeezed a little, then dropped it, and sighed heavily, pulling away to sit down at the table. "Well... Shippo, me, and Kagome hung out yesterday, and things aren't looking so swell right now." He shook his head at her alarmed look. "No, she didn't break up with me, or anything even close - in fact, the time we spend together seems to make her happy... but... there's signs that things inside her are getting worse."

A frown touching her brow, she began moving around the kitchen getting his breakfast ready. After a moment, she asked, "What do you mean?"

"Shippo said that she's still rejecting that part of her soul that was Kikyou, and that because she hates that part of herself so much, her soul is beginning to taint itself. He said that her soul is fracturing into even more pieces than it was before, and if we don't figure out how to help her... well, it won't be good."

His eyes glossed with fear, and his hands clenched. "Mom... if she loses it... if anything happened to her - I... couldn't survive," he whispered. "She's too much a part of me..." he broke off, anguish in his voice.

His mother stopped cold, shocked, then hurried around the table to hug him to her. _Gods... please don't say that, Yasha! I couldn't stand to lose you... _"What do you think we should do?"

He reached up and clasped his mother's arms as they wrapped around his shoulders, his eyes still glassy with unshed tears, and blinked to keep them from falling.

"Shippo and I plan to talk to Sesshoumaru today... see what he thinks. Mika will probably be there, too. I... I love her, mom... and even though I feel so worried, and I'm honestly almost losing hope, I can't stop fighting, because I can't stand to lose her to insanity or death. I think... I think I'd almost rather her lose her memory permanently, even if it meant that we'd never be together, than see her die. But I don't think I can live without her," he finished, taking a deep, shuddering breath as he let the fear that was eating him alive out.

His mother just tightened her hold on him, praying to every kami she knew that they would find the way out of this mess without losing either of the two ill-fated souls that had endured so much. This young man in her arms might be the reincarnation of her husband's ancestor - but in the here and now, he was her son, and she couldn't stand the thought of losing him.

She was pretty sure that Higurashi-san felt the same way about Kagome.

"Whatever it takes, Yasha, you know your father and I are behind you one hundred percent. We'll do whatever we have to to make sure that you both make it through this, okay?"

Yasha nodded, glad that he had his parents to help him through this, because he knew he'd never make it alone.

This just hurt too much... he loved Kagome, and seeing her in such internal pain and confusion was almost more than he could bear.

They needed a break... a _big _one.

---cCc---

"Kagome, you have company!"

She jerked her head up from where it had been laying as she stared at her ceiling still lost in thoughts about her dilemma, and frowned. _I wonder who it is? _"Okay, I'll be down in a few," she called back.

Slipping a light sweater over her t-shirt, she pattered down the stairs and into the living room, stopping, startled, when she caught sight of her friends. Yuka, Eri, and Ayumi had apparently decided to converge on her... their presence was actually welcome at this point, thought, jerking her from her solemn and frightening thoughts.

"Hey, you guys," she said softly with a little smile. "What's up?"

The three girls exchanged looks, then Yuka said, "Well, we came over to see if you were doing anything... if not, we'd like to spend the day with you."

Kagome shook her head. "I wasn't planning to go anywhere today, and I think Yasha's busy," she mused.

Eri and the other two looked surprised. "Yasha?"

At that, Kagome blushed a bit, and nodded. "Yeah... ummm, he's my boyfriend," she said shyly.

Dead silence met that announcement.

Her blush deepened as the silence dragged on, and finally Ayumi spoke up. "Uhhh... boyfriend?"

_Okay... this is awkward. _"Yup. Boyfriend," she affirmed.

"So... when did this happen? And what about Hojo?" Eri asked.

Kagome scowled, and pinned her friends with a gimlet glare. "What _about_ Hojo?" she asked. "I never liked him like that - you guys always tried to shove him down my throat, and never listened when I told you I didn't like him. And because of all that encouragement on you guys' part, he never managed to get the hint that I only wanted to be friends!"

She sighed when the three in front of her looked guilty. "Look... it's okay. It's in the past, and I think he's finally got the message - last time I saw him, he had some other girlfriend. And as for Yasha... well... there's just something strong there between us, and I'm happy when I'm with him. So can we just leave it there?"

Her friends all nodded. "Sure, Kagome," Yuka said. "And we're sorry we didn't listen about the Houjo thing," she grimaced. "I guess we were a bit pushy about it, weren't we?"

Ayumi flushed, and nodded, then asked, "So... will you hang out with us today?"

Kagome smiled at them. "Sure... what do you want to do?"

"The mall, of course," the three girls chorused together, and Kagome laughed wryly.

"Why did I even ask?" she asked rhetorically. "Just let me get my purse and tell my mom where we're going."

The three friends nodded and sat down to wait, still feeling a bit sheepish about the Houjo thing, but glad that Kagome wasn't going to hold it against them. They really had just wanted her to be happy - they'd just gone about it the wrong way.

It only took her a few minutes to get ready, and with a small smile, she followed her friends out of the house, though a pulse of pain hit her heart as they chattered; she really missed Sango so very much... they'd been so much closer than her friends here - apparently, when you regularly faced danger and death together, it bonded you very closely.

She'd never have that again, she was sure, and suddenly, she just wanted to cry.

She'd told Yasha that she would still have bad days - it looked like this was one of them.

Her head was still in the clouds as she stepped down from the last step onto the sidewalk, not paying much attention as her three companions carried on their discussion around her. That's probably why she didn't notice the car coming straight for her...

Until it was far, far too late.

---cCc---

Yasha and Shippo had just sat down with Sesshoumaru when he got the call, and both males watched, alarmed, as he turned absolutely white and sucked in a panicked breath.

"_What_?!" he choked out. "Where is she?"

He listened for a moment more, then hung up his phone, shock and fear clear in his gaze. "Kagome... she's been hit by a car - they've taken her to Tokyo Memorial," he managed to get out, and immediately, Sesshoumaru was up and out of the room, giving orders to get a car ready as Shippo grabbed the terrified hanyou and guided him from the room and out the front to wait on the car.

"This can't be happening," he whispered, heartsick.

"Who was that on the phone?" Shippo asked, his face pale as well.

"Her mom... Kagome's in a coma." His voice was monotone, weak - he was going into shock.

Shippo cursed inwardly as he watched his friend almost lose all will to live, his only thoughts obviously on getting to her as fast as possible. It was quite clear to both he and Sesshoumaru that if Kagome didn't make it...

He wouldn't either.

The next half hour, to those in the car, was the longest half hour they felt they'd ever lived through, and as the car delivered them to the emergency entrance of the hospital, they all three hurried through the doors as though every second was their last.

The moment they reached the waiting room, Kagome's mother was holding him, her face strained and fear-ridden as Souta and her grandfather just sat in the their seats, shell-shocked and unable to move.

Yasha could sympathize - he felt numb, as though his heart had already stopped beating... but he had to know. Pulling away, he guided her mother over to a chair, noting the three girls also sitting there.

"What the hell happened?" he almost begged, wanting this whole thing to be a nightmare.

Running a hand through already frazzled hair, her mother answered. "She was going with her friends to the mall, but when they got to the bottom of the shrine steps, apparently, a driver lost control of her car and hit her - Kagome didn't get out of the way in time."

One of the girl's spoke before Yasha could say anything. "I don't think that driver lost control," she hissed viciously. "I'd swear in court she _aimed _at Kagome!"

A sudden frisson of ice went down Yasha's spine, and his heart almost stopped. "What did the woman look like?" he asked.

Shippo shot him a wide-eyed look. "You don't think..." he trailed off, and Yasha swore, his fists clenching.

"I don't _know_, Shippo!"

Eri, the one who'd spoken, narrowly eyed him. "Yasha - she said you are her boyfriend." The male nodded, and she asked, "Why do you want to know what the woman looked like? Is there something we should know about?"

"There's this girl - she's been stalking and harassing me, and Kagome had a run-in with her the other day... threatened her with certain consequences if she didn't leave us alone," he said, avoiding Sesshoumaru's suddenly intense gaze. "I don't know if she'd go this far, but..." he trailed off, and Aiko looked horrified at the notion that someone could do something like this on purpose.

Sesshoumaru stood, his sudden gesture for Yasha to follow a demand; Yasha immediately got up and followed him - one did not argue with the daiyoukai unless you planned on dying.

"A name."

He didn't need to say more - Yasha didn't even ask. "Takeshi, Akina."

"Human, or youkai?" was his next question.

"Youkai."

Sesshoumaru's eyes were ice - it was clear that the Takeshi's were about to have their lives ruined if it turned out their daughter was at fault. "This one will find out if it was this Akina - if it was, her and her family will rue the day she was born." It was a promise, and Yasha shuddered - the girl had better hope she hadn't been involved.

The daiyoukai turned on his heel and led the way back to the waiting room, then looked at Eri. "Describe the woman," he demanded, and the girl didn't even think of arguing - whoever this male was, he commanded, and everyone else complied.

As soon as she started speaking, Yasha paled again, and nodded at his uncle - it sounded like her.

"When you learn anything about Kagome's condition, call me." Then he turned and disappeared out the doors.

Eyes wide, Eri and her friends looked at Yasha and Shippo. "Who was_ that_?"

Yasha was too lost in his guilt by that time to even notice, so Shippo answered. "That was Taisho, Sesshoumaru - Yasha's uncle."

The three gasped, eyes wide in shocked disbelief. Everyone knew that name - he was one of the richest and most powerful men in Japan, and that Kagome was linked with that family in any capacity was stunning to the three girls.

Yuka looked at Yasha. "You really care about her, don't you?" she asked, sympathy evident in her voice.

He looked up at her, heartsick, and nodded, grief clear in his eyes. "Yeah... you could say that."

Shippo looked at Aiko, a question clear in his gaze. She answered. "We don't know anything more than that's she's in a coma... we're still waiting for information."

"What did the police have to say"

She shook her head. "Just that the driver claimed she felt ill and then passed out, losing control of her car. I think she was taken for observation to another hospital." She glanced at the suddenly venomous looking girls, and finished, "I think they were worried that if she was brought here... someone might cause trouble."

Mutinously, the three exchanged glances, and Ayumi finally piped up, her usually gentle voice like steel. "There would have been, too. I don't care what that bitch said... she _deliberately_ went after Kagome. I saw her face - she was staring straight at her with a really hateful look. She knew what she was doing."

Shippo glanced at Aiko, then looked down at a silent and slumped Yasha.

This had just gotten a whole _hell_ of a lot worse.

---cCc---

A/N: I bet no one saw that coming! We'll see more of what that nasty little witch Akina was thinking next chapter - when Sesshoumaru gets his claws into her and her family.

Enjoy!

Amber


	28. The Consequences of Hatred

**Chapter 27: The Consequences of Hatred**

Akina groaned inwardly; faking feeling weak was not as easy as it sounded, especially when in a hospital setting.

But she didn't have any choice - when she'd seen that bitch who'd stolen Yasha from her walking all happily along with some chattering freaks, the rage had just taken over, her eyes had flashed red, and next thing she knew, she'd hit her with her car.

The moment the police showed she'd been terrified - she had no remorse for what she'd done, but she also had no intentions of paying for it. That little wench had taken something she'd wanted, and _she_ was suffering for it now.

The nice part of it was, her mother was hovering over her, and she knew this little mess would guarantee weeks of anything she wanted - her mother would never be able to deny her, no matter what her father said.

Little did she know that she'd made the biggest mistake of her entire life, and it wasn't just her that was going to pay the price.

She'd condemned her parents right along with her - though it_ was _their faults that she'd become as horrid and spoiled as she had, so it was rather poetic justice.

The minute that Sesshoumaru stepped foot onto the floor of the youkai hospital she was on, everyone froze - his youki was inflamed, enraged, and pounded and beat against every other aura in the entire hospital.

So when he moved to the nurse's station and demanded to be taken to Takeshi, Akina's room, there was not one denial - after all, he was the only authority left in this human-run world for youkai - if you had_ any _youkai blood, he was the law.

He took in the goings on in the girl's room in one sweeping glance, then paced forward, flicking a glance at the stunned female sitting to the side of the bed, and saying, "Leave," in no uncertain terms. And despite the fact that Takeshi-san had never personally seen Sesshoumaru, and neither had her daughter, they both instantly knew who he was.

Only Akina had an inkling of why he was there, however.

Her mother stood, fluttering around him and her daughter questioningly. "Sesshoumaru-sama, what an honor! May this one ask why you are here?"

He cocked an icy brow. "No. I will not repeat myself again, woman - you will leave this room... now," his voice cracked out icily.

Flustered, suddenly frightened but unable to deny him, she cast a worried glance at her daughter's now white face, and left, closing the door as she did.

She was on the phone and crying for her husband in moments - not that he could do anything to save them.

Sesshoumaru stared at Akina, his eyes frigid and his youki threatening and heavy; she was stunned, frightened, and unable to move. After a few moments, he said, "I know what you did, and why you did it - and your life is forfeit for it, wench. As are the lives of your parents. You were warned not to pursue any actions against Kagome or my nephew - you should have heeded those warnings."

He allowed himself a wicked, evil smile as her face slackened with horror, and she began babbling in absolute fear, sobbing. "It was an accident, I swear! I didn't mean to do anything to her, it was just bad luck that I passed out when I did!"

"Silence, bitch!" he hissed. "You dare lie to me?! I can smell your falsehoods on you - as I can smell your promiscuity! You are naught but a lying whore - this time, however, you chose the wrong victims. Do not think I do not know about your behavior, and the fact that you have harassed others as you did my nephew."

He leaned forwards to crowd her back against the bed, flaring his nostrils with disgust. "I know everything, bitch - all that you have done," he whispered. "Fate has caught up with you now. It is time to pay the piper." He stared at her as she fell silent, his youki battering against her, and his cold stare mesmerizing her, stunning her mind until she couldn't even think.

He stood after a few moments and without a backwards glance, walked from the room, motioning for one of his men to stand guard outside it, he paced dangerously over to the almost hysterical female now crowding her newly arrived mate. Motioning for them to follow him, he stepped into the waiting room, and when they followed him in, he shut the door.

To the two in the room with him, it had all the finality of a coffin lid being lowered.

He stared disdainfully at them for long moments, disgust plain on his face.

Finally, the male, asked, "Sesshoumaru-sama," he bowed, "what about this accident has garnered your attention? From what I understand, the girl my daughter hit was a human, and is in another hospital."

Eyes narrowing, Sesshoumaru moved closer, his hand beginning to glow green with his poison as he fought to control his temper. The weakness in these two was obvious; the daughter was strong-willed and had been allowed to run wild. That Kagome had been harmed so severely because of these people truly offended him.

"This was no accident. You daughter deliberately aimed that car at Kagome. The bitch was angered because she wanted my nephew - and my nephew is not interested. He has never wanted anyone other than Kagome - they are soul-mates, and she became murderous because you have given her anything she wants all her life, and she could not handle being told no as she was."

The woman began to shriek in denial; Sesshoumaru wasn't interested and snapped his whip across her cheek, shutting her up as she clasped her face in shock, fear and pain.

"You will be silent!" he snapped. "Make no mistake - Kagome has a long history with my house, she is miko, and the most powerful one since Midoriko herself. If she dies," he said ominously, "you, your mate, and your daughter will all die, as well." His eyes went back to the suddenly horrified male. "This is what you get for letting her go wild. You are weak, and a poor excuse for a male, human _or _youkai. From this moment, until I have decided your fates, your entire family will be under guard by my men."

Without another word, he turned and left the room, a snap of his head sending two guards into the room to keep watch over the girl's parents as he stalked through the corridors to the elevators, only too eager to get away from such filth as that family.

_If you die, Kagome, I will not allow you to stay in that state, this I swear to you. _

_You will not be killed by the likes of a bitch such as that._

He flipped open his phone, and with a biting cold in his voice, the daiyoukai ordered that Tensaiga be kept ready for instant delivery should he call for it.

---cCc---

Yasha sat slumped in a daze, guilt-ridden and with pure fear running through his veins in place of blood.

It had been several hours, and still no word on Kagome's condition - all they knew is that she was in a coma... or at least, she had been.

Noon had come and gone, and the three girls, Yuka, Eri, and Ayumi had gone in and out a few times, making calls to parents and a few other friends of Kagome's. She was well-liked, and apparently, word traveled fast - the waiting room had filled up fast.

But it made no difference to the young male sitting so forlornly in the corner - his heart was cold, and his mind unable to cope with so many people. All he could think of was Kagome - the light of his life was fighting for hers... and all because of a jealous, self-centered bitch.

At this point, he wanted blood.

If Akina had been anywhere within reach, he probably would have killed her already.

Primal nature what it was, she had harmed the one who he saw as his mate, and the penalty for that was death, plain and simple.

His youkai nature was very near the surface at this point... all he could hope was that his parents arrived soon - he would need the calming effect of his mother if he was to maintain any sanity whatsoever.

He was, however, even with his preoccupation, curious to find out what had happened with Sesshoumaru. Had he cornered the bitch? Threatened her? And where was he, anyway?

Yasha sincerely hoped that he had Tensaiga ready somewhere nearby if Kagome didn't pull through - either that, or Bakusaiga, because if she didn't pull through, and Tensaiga refused to return her to life, he would lose himself in the blood of his youkai, and his uncle would need the sword to end _his _life.

It would be the only thing that would stop his rampage in the wake of losing her - death.

He was pulled from his thoughts by the rather heated arrival of one that he had hoped never to see again - and certainly, now was not a good time for the male to be anywhere within the vicinity of his wounded female.

Houjo.

Someone with no sense had called him, and the buffoon had cornered Aiko and was wringing his hands and stressing over the fate of his 'one true love'.

The entire waiting room froze at the snarl of pure rage that erupted then, and Shippo leapt to his side, trying desperately to keep a hold on the irate male.

"Aiko-san, it would be best to get him out of here, _now_," he said, obvious strain in his voice.

Aiko, her eyes wide, nodded, and grabbed a suddenly angered Houjo and escorted him forcibly from the room. "Please, Houjo, I must ask you to follow me."

Yasha calmed somewhat when the fool was led from his sight, but his rage hadn't really ebbed - something needed to give, and soon; he was far too overwrought to last much longer.

Houjo was extremely angry to see the two fools that had humiliated him so badly that day at Kagome's; what were they still doing hanging around? He was sure her condition had to be their fault in some way - and he was still determined to get his Kagome away from them if it was the last thing he did - and into his own arms.

So he was rightly shocked when the woman before him escorted him into a small waiting room at the other end of the corridor, and turned to face him sternly.

With no hesitation, she said, "One thing you will understand, Houjo, is that my daughter is not yours - nor will she ever be. She does not feel that way for you, and she never has, not in all the years you have chased her."

She held up a hand at his attempt to speak. "This family will never give a blessing for any relationship between you, young man, and Kagome will not wed without it. It would also not go well for you or your family if you continue to pursue her - Kagome is dating, _with_ our blessing, Yasha, and his uncle is Taisho Sesshoumaru. You do not want to cause trouble with that family."

Houjo paled when he heard that name - that lout was from the Taisho family? His shoulders slumped when he realized just what he was up against... there was no way his family could compete with the clout of the Taisho family.

"I see. So the power of that fool's family persuaded yours to accept him. Tell me, did you force Kagome to date him against her will?" he asked bitterly.

Aiko stepped back and eyed him narrowly, angry at his insinuations, but understanding that the girl he had obsessed over for so many years being placed finally out of his reach had made him react so - she would forget his words.

"His family has nothing to do with it. They were mentioned for your own sake - so that you would not cause yourself and your family any unnecessary grief over a girl you cannot have anyway. Kagome accepted Yasha because she wanted to, it's as simple as that, and we, as her family, support her choice. No more need be said."

He bowed slightly, and turned and walked out of the room with no further words; what could he say to her? Kagome was a very traditional girl - and without her family's blessing, there would never be anything there, even were she willing on her own.

Eri was waiting outside the room everyone was in as Aiko came back, and she didn't seem to be surprised to _not _see Houjo with her. But she had to ask.

"He left?"

Aiko nodded. "Yes. When he realized that the family would never bless a relationship with him, and that Kagome was already seeing someone that we do approve of, he bowed out."

Eri shrugged - nothing more needed to be said. Family was everything, and Houjo... was not. It was as simple as that.

Just as the two walked back into the room, the door opened behind them, and a white-coated doctor walked in, seemingly surprised at the large group in the waiting room. Looking around, he quickly caught sight of Aiko, and bowed his head to her.

"Higurashi-san, if you would please follow me?"

Heart in her throat, she nodded and turned back towards the door as the entire room fell silent, with a sigh, she braced herself for whatever she was about to hear.

As soon as the door shut behind her, the doctor turned to face her. "I'm Doctor Akida, and I will be overseeing your daughter's care. She is still in a coma - we do not know when, or if, she will come out of it," he sighed. "She has two broken ribs, and a fractured arm, along with the head injuries that caused the coma. Beyond that, she is fine - we ran a very comprehensive battery of tests to make sure."

Aiko breathed out sharply. "So... she is in no danger of dying at this point?" she asked.

"No. But... because of the head trauma, we cannot say for certain what will happen. Hopefully, she will wake in the next few days, but there are no guarantees, you understand. Her chances are good... but..." he trailed off, and she nodded, understanding his words.

"When can we see her?" she asked softly.

"She is being moved into a room on the third floor in ICU - she can have one visitor at a time for five minutes, but they probably will not allow any visitors for a bit until she is settled in."

Aiko rubbed a hand over tired eyes, then sent the doctor a small smile. "Thank you for your time, Doctor. I suppose I should go back in and let everyone know what's going on. Then I will head up to the third floor to wait."

Doctor Akida nodded solemnly, and once more bowed his head to her. "You are welcome, Higurashi-san. I will see you again, I am sure." With that, he departed, and Aiko let herself slump against the wall for just a moment, her weariness catching up with her.

After several seconds, she stood up and straightened her shoulders, then opened the door and walked back in to face everyone with the news.

---cCc---

Kagome's head hurt, and she couldn't remember where she was, or what she was doing - everything seemed distant, and she felt dazed and confused, trapped in a white mist where nothing seemed real.

_What the hell happened to me? I was going somewhere, with someone, _flashes of memories - three girls and herself, _and then... I don't remember anything, until now._

Feeling tired, in pain, and just plain irritated, she looked around at the featureless mists, and gingerly sat down, too weary to try to move, or figure anything out. At this point, she was ready to lay down and sleep right here.

Until a particularly hated voice piped up, and suddenly, she was ready to kill.

Not moving, teeth gritted and anger clear in her face and stiff posture, Kagome waited for those mocking tones to fall silent, then lit into her.

"Kikyou... what the hell are you doing here - and where the hell is _here_, anyway? Can't I have any peace from you?"

The elder miko stepped out from the concealing mists, standing right in front of Kagome in her traditional outfit, and slowly shook her head at the girl still stubbornly sitting before her.

"This place is one of the consequences of Akina's hatred of you. Your entrapment here is the consequence of _your _hatred of_ me_ - and here you will remain until you can get past it."

Kagome stared at her past self, stunned.

_What?_

---cCc---

A/N: Wow! Another chapter one day after the last! It just had to be written, and the bunnies were biting, so I went along with it, and obediently typed what the bunnies told me to.

Enjoy!

Amber


	29. Trapped

**Chapter 28: Trapped**

"So, you mean I have to put up with you - forever? Just fucking great. Why don't the damn kami just kill me and get it over with?" she asked sourly, bitterness building in her. "All I ask is that you fools leave me alone, but no, instead, you just have to keep getting more and more in my face."

"Do you hate me so much that you would be willing to stay here forever - or even _die_?" Kikyou asked, sadly.

"No - I hate you more," Kagome snapped.

Kikyou sighed, then, and moved to sit near her reincarnation, her future life. "And do you hate Inuyasha as much?" she asked.

Kagome glared at her, then turned her face away. "Yes," she hissed. "Why wouldn't I? That bastard used me, then threw me away for a dead bitch - one who'd tormented me over and over and over - and even tried to kill me. It was hard for me to get passed the fact that Yasha was Inuyasha's reincarnation and give him a chance. It's a good thing that Yasha isn't an ass like Inuyasha was."

"Dammit, wench! I didn't throw you away!" a familiar voice rasped, and Kagome spun back around, shock in her eyes as she watched a red-clad figure move out of the mists and sit down next to Kikyou. "I did what I had to do - what was expected of me. You think I didn't care?"

Kagome's eyes narrowed, anguished hatred filling them, causing the hanyou to flinch. "I _know_ you didn't care! All you ever cared about was that bitch right there! And how the hell are_ you _here, anyway... you should be sleeping peacefully inside Yasha."

"Thank the kami for this - they seem to think that this is the only way you'll heal - make you face yourself... and me," he sighed.

"No, all the kami seem to enjoy doing is tormenting me. What the fuck did I ever do to you!" she suddenly screamed into the mists, as she lifted her face and stared upwards. "Why the hell can't you just_ leave me alone_!"

Fists clenched, she stood up and glared at the two staring at her, regret plastered all over their faces. "Stay the hell away from me, both of you! I don't ever want to see either of you again!" she spat, acid in her voice and her eyes - acid that ate at Inuyasha even more than it did Kikyou.

Seeing her, being forced to deal with what he'd done when he'd handled things the way he had was his punishment by the kami - it _hurt, _hurt more than he'd ever have believed possible.

This shell of a woman before him wasn't his Kagome. She was nothing like she'd been - and it was _both_ of their fault. Kikyou's for all the torture she'd put Kagome through - and his blindness back then to the things Kikyou had done to her, plus for the way he'd sent her home.

The thing was, he'd never have agreed to do it, kami be damned, if she wasn't going home to his _own_ reincarnation. He'd never have allowed her to go to _anyone _else. No matter the incarnation, her soul belonged with his, and he just wished she could see it that way - could understand that they should always be together.

So he sat there, heart breaking, as he watched her run off into the mists, determined to stay away from them, from _him_. It suddenly occurred to him that he was going to get a heavy portion of his own medicine - and it was bitter beyond imagining.

Kikyou inhaled sharply as her reincarnation ran off, then let it out, and her shoulders slumped sadly. "I don't know about this, Inuyasha. I don't know if she _can_ heal - our lives together may well be over - because if she doesn't manage to heal the division in our soul, I'll remain trapped here with her until death, and you'll be stuck in your new incarnation - alone."

He pulled her into his arms, trying his best to comfort her as he stared into the distance where Kagome had disappeared. Her words hit him hard; with a coldness he'd never known, he knew that if that happened, if Kagome never woke up, his life was over, too - because he, as Yasha, would kill himself and follow Kagome into death. He would have no will to live his life alone without her.

Healing Kagome was the only way for all of them to get through this...

Alive, and still together.

Because... if the connection between their souls was sundered in this manner, they'd lose each other forever....

Not just in their current lives.

Inuyasha was not willing to do that - he would _never _allow the grasp he had on her soul to loosen.

She belonged to _him_ - in all their incarnations, whether she knew it or not.

---cCc---

Yasha shook his head as he woke from a light doze, a frown on his face - what had that dream been all about? Or was it really even a dream?

Putting a hand to his chest, he had to admit, he felt a little odd - as though a piece of himself was missing...

His brow furrowed... as though a piece of his _soul _was missing.

_That... it wasn't a dream! Shit... I was inside Kagome's soul - and if she doesn't get past her hatred of Inuyasha and even more so, Kikyou - we'll never be together! _

"Oh, kami," he moaned, tears suddenly welling into his eyes before he could even fight them back at the sheer _panic_ that he felt at that realization.

"Kagome... _please, _don't let them do this to us!" he whispered. "_I can't lose you_!"

Aiko and his parents both turned to him as they heard his voice, concerned. "Yasha...?" Aiko asked hesitantly. "Is something wrong?"

"Yeah," he said shakily. "Kagome may be in a coma, but I can tell you right now that if she doesn't get over her anger at Inuyasha and Kikyou," he swallowed hard, "she'll never wake again. This is a last ditch effort by the kami to force her to face herself - and Inuyasha," he finished miserably, and those in the room could clearly hear his fear and anguish.

Everyone in the room who heard those words paled - and Sesshoumaru, who'd returned mere minutes before, met his eyes with a sharp look. "How do you know this, Yasha?"

"Because I'm Inuyasha's reincarnation, I was there, too - in her comatose world with him. As was Kikyou. They tried to talk to her, but she said she hated them enough to die rather than talk to them and then ran off." He broke off on an almost-sob, struggling to get control over his voice as the group looked on in horror.

"Inuyasha, though... he's determined to fight her over this. He... no... _we_, won't allow her to sunder herself from us. She's_ ours_," he finished possessively, his voice suddenly changing; those in the room who'd known Inuyasha heard his voice twine with Yasha's quite clearly in that moment, as his eyes flashed with a look that also had been Inuyasha's.

It was eerily clear that Inuyasha was there - and _aware_ - in the room with them as much as Yasha was.

Sesshoumaru stepped forward, staring intently at his nephew... and his brother, in one. "So, otouto - you return to awareness to claim the miko you damaged - the miko that we have all been trying to save. Tell me, why _should_ we allow you to have any further contact with her?"

Yasha whipped his head up to stare at Sesshoumaru with golden eyes rimming red around the edges, and the daiyoukai shivered; his brother was clearly there, and hearing what was being said - and it was just as obvious that he was _not_ happy about being challenged in such a way, as both his youki, _and_ Yasha's rose up to challenge him back.

"She is_ ours_! We will _never_ let go of the grasp we have on her soul, and neither will we allow anyone to challenge us for her! Remember this, otouto," he sneered, "because if you try to take her from us, we will destroy you, no matter what it takes." It was a solemn vow, and everyone in the room knew it - hackles raised on everyone that carried any youkai blood - and even those without.

Sesshoumaru stared, narrow-eyed at his brother... err, nephew, weighing his determination - and finally, he nodded curtly. "Very well - we will not interfere. But if you fail..." he trailed off, but the warning in his voice was _very _clear.

"Then _what_?" Yasha turned away, not even looking at his uncle, his former brother any longer. "If we fail, then there's nothing that you can do to us that's worse than that failure - if we fail, then all of us, Inuyasha and Yasha, and Kikyou and Kagome, plus any other future incarnations, suffer for eternity. There's nothing that _you_ can do that's worse than that."

The daiyoukai stared at Yasha's back, and had to acknowledge the truth of that statement, so he did not say anything about it. Instead...

"What do you intend to do?"

"We'll sleep - probably as much as Kagome, and we will fight her, and eventually, we'll win against the hatred she has. The kami'll help... they wouldn't see their master plan destroyed by a damn stubborn wench, after all," he said sarcastically.

Aiko moved up to him, almost tentatively. "Yasha... _Inu_yasha... will she be okay?" she asked softly.

The hanyou turned towards her, and his eyes softened with fondness; he nodded. "As long as we can get the stubborn wench to stop whining and _listen, _for once. Might take a while, though," he chuckled quietly, sadly.

Yasha's parents both stared hard at their son - listening to his voice being overriden by another's, and his speech patterns changing to an entirely different person's, was eerie, and in a way, frightening. It was one thing to know he was the reincarnation of an ancestor - but an entirely different thing to actually be _faced_ with it.

Then Yasha's eyes slid over to them, and his gaze changed. "Weird, isn't it? I'm the bridge between the past, and the future... I'm the present. Don't worry... once this is over, the part of us that's Inuyasha will sleep again, and only the part of us that's Yasha will remain awake. This whole mess is not one that the kami are very fond of - I doubt it'll ever be allowed to happen again."

Both nodded when the man they called their son finished speaking, but neither could find their voice, and finally, Yasha turned away and looked back at Sesshoumaru. "Where do I sleep?"

Within minutes, the daiyoukai had issued orders, and with nary a protest, a second bed was brought in to Kagome's room for Yasha, and a comfortable yukata was obtained so that he could rest without wearing his confining clothes.

As Aiko watched the whirlwind of activity going on in the room before them, she could only be thankful that Kagome's friends had been called home finally - it was late, and their parents had come and gotten them, after wishing her daughter well. And Souta, and grandpa, as well, had gone home. This situation would have caused far too much of an uproar with them present.

Yasha/Inuyasha moved to strip out of his clothes quickly in the bathroom outside Kagome's ICU room, wanting to get back into Kagome's soul fast - he didn't want to waste any more time than necessary. He had to smirk... so much for no visitors for more than five minutes at a time. It seemed that Sesshoumaru's influence here, was as great as it had been back in the sengoku jidai.

Maybe this time, he'd actually get some damn benefit from it.

Finally ready, he stepped into the room, and climbed into the bed that had been prepared for him...

And with one last, long look at Aiko, let himself fall into sleep.

---cCc---

Kagome wandered for a long time after she ran for the hills from her haunted past, wondering where she was - and what that hell-born bitch had meant by this place being the consequence of Akina's hatred of her.

_Dammit... seems like I'm surrounded by horrid bitches or something. _"So... what happened to me, then?" she said aloud. It was a rhetorical question, really, as she was seemingly alone, she didn't expect an answer - but she got one anyway.

"She ran you over with her car," came a voice Kagome never thought she'd ever hear again. Shocked, eyes widening, she spun around - and caught sight of her dearest friend, the one woman she saw as a sister... Sango.

"S-sango? Is that really... you?" she asked hesitantly, her voice choked with emotion, almost positive she was hallucinating.

"Yes, it's me, Kagome. I can't stay too long, but the kami thought we might like to visit for a little bit, and allowed me to come. They really don't want you to suffer, you know, Kagome - but you have to let go and accept what was meant to be."

Kagome looked away, then, almost ashamed of her recent behavior when faced with her big sister. "I don't know if I can, Sango. It caused too much damage - and I really don't want anything to do with," here, she gritted her teeth, "any part of that damn Kikyou." Then she looked back at her as something clicked. "Wait - what do you mean, 'she hit me with her car'?"

Sango sighed. "That woman - Akina. She hit you with her car, and now you're in a coma. You won't wake up until you find a way to work this tangle in your soul out - and that means that you and _my_ reincarnation will never get to meet... like the kami had planned." She moved to Kagome and took her hand and ran a caressing thumb over it.

"It isn't just you and Inuyasha's souls that are tied together, imouto... Miroku, and I, are just as tied to you both as you two are to each other. You _have_ to figure this out, Kagome - for _all_ of our sakes."

Kagome looked down at Sango's hand holding hers, and then threw herself at her, and started sobbing as the older girl hugged her fiercely. "I miss you guys so much! I've been so angry at Inuyasha for what he did - I didn't even get to say goodbye," she cried. "And now I want to be with you guys again - but I don't know... if I can let go of this hurt and anger at Inuyasha and Kikyou. It just hurts too much - there's so much there, that if I did let it all out," her voice sank to a pained whisper, "I don't know if there'd be anything left of me."

Sango hugged her tighter, heart breaking at the hurt she could feel pouring from Kagome - it was overwhelming. "Kagome, I know you. You're stronger than this." She pulled away from her enough to see her face; her sister's drowned eyes making her own eyes flood. "No matter what we faced back then, you were always stronger than whatever it was, and you kept all of us going. Now, you have to be strong one more time, and learn to let go of this hatred - and heal the division in your soul."

She sighed, then pulled a little more away. "Kagome... haven't you ever done something, and then thought, 'oh, I hate myself for that!', and been horribly angry at yourself?"

Kagome look startled, then looked at Sango, brow furrowed. "Well, sure," she said, voice puzzled. "But what...?"

Sango looked at her with loving exasperation, then. "Don't you see? It's the same thing. Kikyou _is you. _When you were her, you were a bitch - _to yourself _- so now you hate yourself for that. But even though there's times that you think "I hate myself for that', you don't try to kick a part of your soul out over it!"

Surprised, Kagome just stared at her, caught in what she'd said. _Surely... no... it can't be that simple! _

"Yes, it can _too_ be that simple! You are the one that's making it so hard, Kagome - and I desperately want my imouto back. Believe me, Inuyasha and Kikyou _both _paid dearly when I found out what they'd done... I tortured them both for years about it - and I kicked the hell out of Inuyasha when he came back from the well and admitted what he'd done. If Miroku hadn't stepped in when he did," she admitted sheepishly, "I'd have killed him. In fact, he came close to dying. And when Kikyou tried to get in the middle of it, I beat the hell out of her, too."

"Wow..." Kagome said, an awed look in her eyes. "I knew you were tough back then, but... just - wow. I'm glad you weren't mad at _me_!"

Sango smiled, and shook her head. "No... I missed you _so_ much - and that's why I want you to figure this out so badly - because my soul wants my imouto back. I've already had to wait five hundred years, and I don't want to wait any more." She blanched, then, and Kagome could see her starting to fade.

Eyes wide, panic-stricken, Kagome cried out. "No! Sango, don't go!"

Blinking back tears, the former taijiya stared at her friend. "I'm on the other side of awake, Kagome. Forgive the two that caused you such pain - then forget them, and come back to us," she said, as she finally faded out entirely, and Kagome slumped to her knees, horrible, pained sobs almost choking her.

"How can I, Sango? It hurt so bad then - and it still hurts so bad! How do I get past that?" she choked out in heartbroken tones.

The ones standing silently just out of sight met each others saddened, pained gazes - and wished they could turn back time, so that they could undo the damage they'd done to the broken little miko on her knees, crying her heart out.

But it was far, far, too late for such an easy fix.

---cCc---

A/N: Hope this update pleases... the next chapter, and possibly more, will be coma chapters - so a lot of angst is coming.

Amber


	30. What Becomes of the BrokenHearted

**Chapter 29: What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted**

Yasha looked around himself and had to shake his head - couldn't the kami be any more original than a grey nothingness? With a sigh, he glanced around once more, then followed the pull of his soul towards the part of it wandering around in here - towards Inuyasha.

And Kikyou.

Scowling, he thought about the whole mess as he wandered towards the tug on his soul. He wasn't sure he could be polite to the bitch that had hurt his Kagome - or his own past incarnation. The way he felt about it, he'd love to wallop the hell out of both of them. It would serve them both right, in his opinion.

_Damn, this mess is headache inducing. And it's not like I can go to anyone for advice on how to deal with this shit, _he thought, irritated.

He felt a bit of trepidation humming along the link to his soul, and grinned, ferally amused. _Good! Stupid bastard is nervous about my presence - means he knows how I feel about all this crap._

He sped his pace up, knowing he was about to run into his past incarnation, and Kikyou, as well, and wanting nothing more than to light into them for the shit they'd pulled.

"Oi, I think we know we fucked up, stupid, ya don't need to fuckin' reiterate that," came a sarcastic voice from out of the mist, and Yasha growled as he stepped forward, finally coming to a halt in front of, well, himself - sort of.

He looked the other male over, then crossed his arms over his chest, not impressed. "Man, I was _weak _in my past life - no wonder Sesshoumaru looked down on you!" As Inuyasha snarled angrily, Yasha turned his biting, contemptuous gaze on the miko standing just beside the snarling fool. "And _you_ aren't _nearly_ as beautiful, powerful, or intelligent as Kagome is," he sneered as she gasped, hurt.

Inuyasha crouched, fully intending to whip this boy's ass for speaking to Kikyou that way. "Keh! Didn't your parents teach you respect, especially for ancestors?"

"No, they taught me to respect those who've _earned _it - and neither of you have earned _shit _from me!" Yasha snapped, pissed as hell that the stupid bastard even had the _nerve_ to demand anything from him!

Both Inuyasha and Kikyou were taken aback at that, and with a narrow-eyed glare, Yasha let them both know in no uncertain terms that they needed to stay out of his way. Then he turned on his heel and headed off into the mist again, following the tug on his heart that told him where Kagome was.

_Gods... how am I supposed to fix this? That bastard is still just as stupid as he ever was, and Kikyou's just as much a spineless bitch. I can't believe that's who we both were in our last lives - it's a good thing neither of us are the same this time around._

He felt so much frustration and anger at what Kagome had suffered. She'd been taunted, tortured, betrayed, and broken, and there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn't save her from any of it - and he wasn't doing such a good of saving her from herself this time, either.

But if he didn't, then everything was over. _Damn the kami anyway - they should be the ones fixing this crap, since they are the ones that allowed this shit to happen on their watch, _he thought sourly.

Before he could think on anything more, he heard voices, and came to a halt as he realized that one of the voices was Kagome.

The other was a male.

_Who the fuck?_

-cCc-

Kagome was still sitting where she'd been when Sango faded away, though her tears had long since dried. She'd looked around, considering getting up and moving, but decided against it with a weary shrug; not like any place here was any different from any other place here, so there was really no point.

Sango's words kept whirling maddeningly through her mind, over and over, and she was getting a major headache from the whole thing. Truth be told, she was beginning to get so desperate for peace, that she was almost ready to forgive and forget the whole damn thing - everyone except Kikyou. She just _couldn't_ swallow taking that bitch back into herself and reintegrating with that part.

_"Don't you see? It's the same thing. Kikyou is you. When you were her, you were a bitch - to yourself - so now you hate yourself for that. But even though there's times that you think "I hate myself for that', you don't try to kick a part of your soul out over it!"_

That's what Sango had said - and while she could see what she was talking about, it just didn't seem to make any difference to her - she just detested the former miko too much to want anything to do with her. As much as she had always felt bad about hating, this time she couldn't help it - she wanted Kikyou to _suffer. _Instead, she'd gotten everything Kagome'd wanted, and _Kagome_ had gotten nothing.

Kagome had lost everything.

The only thing that she'd gotten back was Shippo, and in a way, that was just as difficult to face, because she'd missed out on everything with him; one minute he was her little kit, the next he was a full grown adult.

And that made her feel even more cheated.

Of course, she thought guiltily, even if she'd stayed in the past, she'd have been dead by now, so she'd still be missing things with Shippo, but even realizing that really didn't help. And even knowing that in some ways, she was acting like a spoiled child, didn't help - she felt that she was kinda entitled, after the way she'd been used by everyone in this whole damn mess.

Inuyasha had used her, Kikyou had used her, the fates had used her, and the kami had used her - and what did she get out of it? A headache, a heartache, and now threats that if she didn't shut up and accept what had happened to her and act all happy about it, that she'd be stuck here in limbo 'til she died? What the fuck was up with that? Why the hell did everyone else get what they wanted, and she got stuck with shit?

With a bitter sigh, she rubbed her hands up and down her arms, feeling suddenly cold. "All I keep doing is going in circles in my head, and not getting anywhere. Maybe I should have just made that stupid wish to bring Kikyou back to life myself while I was still back in the past."

"And why would you want to do that, Kagome-sama? It would have killed you if you had done so, don't you realize that?"

Kagome's head whipped up at the well-known and beloved voice. "Miroku!"

The monk she'd missed so much smiled at her and came to sit with her. "You didn't answer my question, Kagome," he chided gently.

She flushed and looked away, embarrassed. "I know I didn't."

Miroku nodded as she flicked a glance back at him. "Then you made that statement..." he trailed off leadingly, and Kagome sighed, shamed.

"Yes. I know it would have killed me. That was the point."

Before anything more could be said, another voice broke in, and Kagome flinched, shocked, as Yasha stepped through the concealing mists, staring at her with pained, devastated eyes. "K-kagome? You... you'd wish to be dead? Don't I mean anything to you at all? We could never be together again if you'd done that," he whispered, anguish clear in his expression.

At that, Kagome burst into tears again, and looked beseechingly at Miroku, as though she was asking for absolution, but he looked back sternly at her, refusing. "No, Kagome-sama, I can't give you what you are asking for. There is no absolution except by your own decision. You are not the only one hurting here. Hasn't Yasha-sama hurt enough, too? He's had to wait all these years for the woman he loves, and even watch her fall for the wrong person. And then when he finally has his chance, you are so angry at Inuyasha and Kikyou, that you don't even care that you're hurting him even more. Remember, as angry as you want to be at Kikyou, and Inuyasha, _Yasha _has done nothing to you but watch over you when he could, and love you. How can you justify what you are doing to him, because of what Kikyou did to you?"

Kagome's eyes were wide, the whole time Miroku was speaking her eyes were bound to him, but at the end, she turned horrified eyes on Yasha, who was looking at her with a still-heartbroken expression.

"I want you to see something, Kagome-sama," Miroku said, before reaching over and touching a hand to her head. As he did so, Kagome's eyes snapped closed, and a dizzying bunch of scenes flashed through her mind. She knew immediately that they were things that had happened after her accident - Yasha's reactions being front and center. His pain, fear, and suffering were palpable, and Kagome's heart almost stopped, then, as her eyes popped back open and sought Yasha's gaze again.

In that moment, she felt more shame for her behavior than she'd ever felt in her life. Because the truth was, she was acting just like Kikyou had acted, being a bitch to someone who loved her just because she'd been hurt in the past. All her actions in hating Kikyou were nothing more than hypocrisy.

And as her self-righteous anger turned to ashes in her mouth, with a heart-wrenching sob, she stood and _flung _herself into Yasha's arms, hoping against hope that he would open them for her, and not turn her away like he had every right to do at that point.

"I didn't m-mean it, Yasha! I'm so, so, sorry!" she wailed, clenching her arms around him as he pulled her to him tightly, lowering his head to murmur soothingly into her ear as tears also leaked from his eyes. Miroku watched with a smile for a few moments, letting them alone as long as he could, then he stood as well and stepped forward.

"Kagome," he said gently, "please, listen for a moment." He waited for a few seconds until the drenched, red-rimmed eyes of one of his best friends met his. "I don't have much time, but I wanted to say this. Kikyou-sama was correct about one thing," he rolled his eyes, "even if it was the only thing she was right about - you wanted to know what your reward was, did you not?" He tilted his head gently indicating Yasha, who was still holding her tightly. "This man, who loves you _only for yourself,_ is your reward. Is he not worth it to you?"

Kagome blinked in shock, as just that suddenly, the chaos that had been swirling within her fell silent, and she turned to look up at him. In his eyes, she saw everything she'd ever wanted to see in _Inu_yasha's... but curiously, seeing them in Yasha's eyes in that moment meant more than seeing them from the hanyou of her past ever could have.

Blinking again in stunned surprise, she realized... _I'm... I'm really falling in love with Yasha, and those old feelings for Inuyasha are... fading away. Dying..._

"Y-yes," she said huskily, then paused to clear her throat. "I understand, Miroku," she flinched suddenly, and whipped her head around to glare at the monk as her hand came around to smack his cheek, "Hentai!" she yelled.

Yasha growled, irritated, as Miroku chuckled, pressing a hand to his burning cheek. "Ah, I could not help myself, Kagome-sama, my hand so fondly remembered the old times, and could not resist one last chance to stroke such pretty flesh," he said. "Being dead does not change the curse on this hand, my friend, and when I see you again, I'm sure that the curse will reacquaint itself with you once more. Of course, it would prefer to stroke my beloved Sango, but..." he grinned sheepishly as Kagome narrowed her eyes at him.

"That's something I'll enjoy seeing again," she muttered. "Sango smacking the hell out of you."

"And if she doesn't, I will," grated Yasha. "You'd best keep your hands off my girl - here, _and_ in your next life, bouzo."

Miroku chuckled again, then a sad look crossed his face. "Yes, well, it seems as though the 'here' part, isn't going to matter any longer. It is time for me to go, Kagome - but remember, just as my beloved Sango told you, we wish to see you again, and we cannot do so until you find a way to resolve your difficulties with yourself, and wake again. So, please... hurry?" he asked as he slowly faded away.

Kagome sobbed out a rather broken laugh. "I'll try, Miroku-kun... I promise," she finished sadly as he disappeared.

She slumped into the supporting arms of Yasha for a moment, then something occurred to her, and she looked up at him, confused. She flushed at the tender, adoring look in his eyes, but asked, "Uhm, if I'm in a coma, how are _you_ here?" Her eyes widened in horror. "Wait, you weren't hurt, were you?"

He shook his head, not breaking her gaze. "No... I followed you. To me, your my mate, K'gome - and mates stay together. If you die, then I don't want to live - I'd be a broken remnant of what I'm supposed to be, and that's no kind of life - especially since I'd live so long. It'd be like living for centuries, and being tortured every single second of it."

With a shudder, Kagome continued to stare at Yasha, finding herself getting lost in his eyes. _It's so strange... it's like he's all the best that Inuyasha could ever have been - that he had the potential to be, but never reached. But it's all coming out in Yasha. And he really does love me... _she thought with wonder.

"I'm sorry, Yasha-kun, for hurting you so much," she breathed sadly. "I never meant to, but that's no excuse, and I know it." She looked away, finally, shamed, but then looked back up at him determinedly. "I promise, I'm going to figure this out somehow. I don't want to stay here, and put you in danger, either, so if I have to get past this thing with Kikyou, then I'll figure it out... somehow."

Yasha stared down at the only woman he would ever love, and smiled at her. Brushing her cheek with his hand, he said, "I think we both need to work on it, because I think I hate those two just as much as you do. I can't believe that's who we were in our past lives - so petty and weak and spineless!"

Kagome looked taken aback for a moment. _Petty, weak and spineless?_ Wide-eyed, she considered that, then began to laugh, feeling lighter than she had in the whole time she'd been back in her time. "T-that's priceless!" she chortled. "I bet neither one of them would like that, would they?"

With a grin, Yasha shook his head, loving the bright smile on her face. "They certainly didn't like what I told them when I ran into them here, that's for sure," he chuckled at her interested look.

"What'd you say to them?" she asked.

"Well, I told Inuyasha that I was weak in my past life, and it's no wonder Sesshoumaru couldn't stand him, and then I told Kikyou that she wasn't anywhere near as beautiful, smart, or powerful as you are. She really didn't like that... neither did Inuyasha."

As Kagome burst out laughing, Yasha couldn't help it, and tugged her closer to him, his eyes suddenly changing from amused, to something else...

But before he could act on it, even as Kagome's laughter died, came a voice neither really wanted to hear.

"Oi! That ain't funny, bitch! And knock that shit off - nobody wants to see it!"

-cCc-

Kagome's entire frame stiffened as Yasha let loose with the mother of all growls, pushing her behind him protectively, he glared at the two moving out of the mists. "What the hell do you two wastes-of-space want?" he snapped, definitely not in the mood to deal with bullshit from either of them.

Inuyasha ignored him, glaring at the woman peeking out from behind Yasha's shoulder. "So what the fuck, Kagome, huh? Why'd you let things get this far?"

Kagome narrowed her eyes on the hanyou, then turned to glare at Kikyou, before looking back at Inuyasha. She stepped out from behind Yasha, though she obeyed his silent demand to stay near him. Inuyasha growled at that, annoyed, but Kagome didn't let him say anything.

"What's the matter, Inuyasha - don't you like you and Kikyou's handiwork? This is what becomes of the broken-hearted," she said, opening her arms wide. "After all, you both worked so hard at making me into what I am now - and you're blaming me? Guess I shouldn't really be surprised - seeing as how you always blamed me for everything, and the few things you didn't, Kikyou made sure to bring up so you would! Even shit that was _her _damn fault to begin with!"

"So you're gonna keep punishing us for that?" he yelled.

"Why the hell not?" Yasha snarled angrily at that. "It ain't like either of you ever really apologized for any of it and really _meant _it!" He turned a sharp, wicked gaze on Kikyou. "_And simpering, half-assed whining about having made mistakes ain't a damn apology_!" he roared, then, suddenly beyond angry at the wimps in front of him.

With wide eyes, Kagome leaned back a little and stared at him, shocked that he was so angry on her behalf - and falling just a little more in love with him because of it. The other two, however, had literally shrunk back in shock, obviously not having expected such rage from Yasha.

Eyes narrowing, Yasha stalked forward, then, and shoved an astonished Inuyasha backwards so hard he fell on his ass. Yasha leaned down to stare him in the eye. "And don't you _ever_ call her a bitch again, you stupid bastard, understand?" he asked, a deadly sort of softness in his voice.

Kagome was pulled from her fascination at Yasha's defense of her with movement from Kikyou, and she snapped out of it, stepping between Yasha and Kikyou protectively. "Don't even think about it."

Kikyou sighed. "Look, we didn't come here to fight with you two - it seems rather silly to do so, don't you think? Since we're really just fighting against ourselves?"

Kagome shook her head, suddenly disgusted. "You know, Yasha was right. We really_ were _rather pathetic in our past lives," she mused, still staring Kikyou down. "But that doesn't mean that I have to be like you now. You're really not worth the waste of time it takes to hate you. It's funny how you can ask that question now, when it's convenient for yourself, but before, it was a totally different matter. I was a real hypocrite in my last life - and I'm becoming one again in this life, following in your footsteps, aren't I?"

She looked over at Yasha, who'd stood up and was looking back at her, completely ignoring Inuyasha. "I've been so worried about not being like Kikyou, that I've ended up acting just like her, haven't I?"

He simply stared back at her, not saying a word.

With a chuckle, she moved her gaze to Inuyasha, who was staring sadly at her, and then back to Kikyou, who looked rather insulted. Her gaze went distant for one long moment, and then she huffed disgustedly at herself. "Well, that stops now." Her gaze sharpened back on her former incarnation. "You really aren't worth the pain of hating you, and I refuse to act like you any longer. This mess is _done. _Get back where you belong, Kikyou, and go back to your eternal sleep - you aren't needed anymore."

A sudden shocked silence descended on the group, and then a keening wind whipped into those standing in the mists, as Kikyou was once more pulled into her soul form, and yanked back into Kagome's body forcefully.

Raising a yearning gaze to Yasha, she said, "See you on the other side, love."

And then blackness descended, and he knew no more.

-cCc-

A/N: And before anyone asks, no, it's not over yet. The angst-fest still has a bit of a ways to go - Kagome has just finally realized that in trying to avoid being Kikyou, she's instead acting just like her - and she doesn't want to do that anymore. But it's not all hunky dory yet - Kagome still, even though she's started to forgive and forget the past, has a ways to go before she can let go of all of it. But it's enough to reintegrate her soul, and wake from her coma.

Amber


	31. Reintegration

**Chapter 30: Reintegration**

Eyes fluttering, blinded by the light in the room, Kagome began to wake... but as the pain kicked in, almost wished she could go back to sleep. She hurt _everywhere._ But for the first time since she'd come back through the well, her heart... didn't.

She felt free of her tainted past. And it was all thanks to Yasha.

_He came for me - even in my coma, he came to save me, and heal me. And I... I love... I love Yasha. I can finally say it. _She remembered, oh, she remembered everything. All of what had happened.

Blinking, she moved her eyes around the room, trying to avoid moving too much, but suddenly needing to see Yasha - to know that he was okay, and still there with her.

As her eyes settled to her left, she caught sight of another bed, and a form stirring in it, and blinked, trying to clear the blurring of her eyes. It was him, she could feel it. "Y-yasha?" she managed to croak out. "W-wake up, Yasha," she whispered. "Please?"

_Please let him be okay?_ she practically begged the kami.

Yasha came to wakefulness quickly once he heard her voice, weak as it was, and sat up, pushing himself out of his cocoon of blankets and scrambling out of the bed he was in in his rush to get to her, almost falling on his face. Within seconds he was at her side, carefully taking her hand into his and reaching up to run gentle fingers over her bruised cheek.

"Damn, woman, you've scared the life out of me with all this, you know that?" he whispered, his golden eyes actually shimmering with tears. "You can't leave me, K'gome - I won't let you."

Kagome didn't even try to hold back her tears as she nodded faintly. "I don't want you to, Yasha, I don't. I won't leave you, I promise," she said softly. Squeezing his hand as much as she was able, she blinked up at him, letting him see her every emotion at that moment. "I... I love you, Yasha, and I'm sorry it took so long to realize it."

At her words, words he'd waited a lifetime and more to hear, the tears in Yasha's eyes finally flowed over, and down his cheeks unabated as he groaned and nuzzled his face to hers with a tenderness he'd never shown anyone else. "Gods, Kagome," he choked out, "you don't know how long I've wanted to hear those words from you. I love you so much! You'll never get rid of me now, you know that, right?"

She laughed on a sob, and nodded carefully again, even as their tears fell and mingled together on her cheeks. "Th-that's good, because I don't want you to go," she finally managed to get out. After a moment of smiling up at him, the pain she was in sank in again, and she winced. Yasha pulled away hurriedly.

"Let me go get the doctor, koi, you're hurting, I can see it. Plus, your mom and everyone will want to know you've woken up. I'll be right back, I promise," he said at her anxious expression, and she nodded again.

"Okay," she said softly, closing her eyes and letting his hand go with a last squeeze. She kept them closed as he left the room, the darkness behind her eyelids helping ease some of the pain in her head, at least.

_Yasha..._

-cCc-

Aiko sat up and rubbed her eyes, tired and worried and not knowing what to think anymore. So much had happened, gone wrong, and as devoted a shrine daughter as she had always been, even she was beginning to feel a bit bitter towards the kami.

She'd had to watch her only daughter be injured and broken-hearted in her trips to the past, and that had been bad enough... but this? _ This _was worse. A thousand times worse.

She'd just looked so tiny and injured... like a doll that had been haphazardly thrown away by a spoiled child that no longer wanted her as she lay in her bed, and it had nearly killed her inside as she'd stood there looking down at her. Because it was evident even in a coma, that it wasn't just her body that was broken.

It was _her._ It was what made her Kagome. The true essence of what she was had been shattered, and though she had partially healed, the rest wasn't coming together so well...

She hoped that Yasha could bring her back, because she didn't know what she would do if he failed.

With a sigh, she stood up and stretched, looking with gritty, swollen eyes around the silent waiting room. She knew she should have gone home, but she just couldn't bear to. Not again.

The first night that Yasha had been in the room with Kagome, sleeping so deeply, she'd allowed Sesshoumaru to talk her into going home and getting some sleep - and even the second night - but for some reason, this night, she just couldn't go. For some reason, she had the feeling that tonight was going to be the deciding factor in whether her daughter survived... or not.

She glanced up quickly at the stoic youkai Lord that was patiently waiting with her as he spoke, almost surprised to hear him say anything. He'd been so silent through all of this, only really speaking to give orders.

"She will pull through this, Aiko-san. Yasha will not fail."

She laughed a little. "I hope you are right. However it goes, I have the feeling that it will be finished tonight. That's why I'm so anxious, I suppose."

She didn't miss his surprised look. "Tonight?"

She nodded. "Hai. That's my feeling."

"Well, then, I hope _you _are correct," he said, with a suddenly weary-sounding sigh.

She frowned thoughtfully and tilted her head as she looked at him. "The one who did this - what's going to happen to her?"

A low growl echoed through the room as his eyes flashed red for a moment. "I have not made a decision on that at this time. Much depends on what happens with... Kagome."

Something in his voice caught her attention, and she slowly sat back down as a certain realization came to her. "You care for her a great deal, don't you?" she asked quietly.

There was silence for a time, then, "She makes it easy to do so." He looked at her, a slight smile tilting the corner of his lips. "She is much like you, I think, Aiko-san."

A faint blush touched her cheeks; when a male of the beauty of this youkai Lord complimented you, you couldn't help but to do so. "I thank you for the compliment, Sesshoumaru-sama."

Before he could say anything in return, Yasha walked into the room, and both people were standing in front of him before he could say a word. He blinked. "Uh... yeah - Kagome's awake now, though she's hurting a lot. But we have to wait a few minutes - the doctor's in with her right now." He was taken aback as Aiko took him into a fierce hug, and with a startled look at his uncle, he slowly hugged her back.

"Thank you, Yasha," Aiko said, her voice muffled, though perfectly audible to the two males. "Thank you for not giving up on her." She looked up, then. "She _has_ accepted her soul back, right? You did say that she wouldn't wake until she did...?"

Yasha stepped back, then nodded, and gestured for the two to sit down, as he took a seat himself. "Yeah... she did. Oh, there's still healing that she needs to do, but... now she actually_ will _heal. It was quite a strange thing, in that coma of hers, ya know." Then he scowled. "And that damn lecherous monk...! He's a friggin' pervert, I tell ya."

Aiko burst out into relieved laughter at his expression, and even Sesshoumaru looked amused as he remembered things from so long ago. "Hai, that he was. I take it that he appeared in her coma, as well?"

Sobering, Yasha nodded. "Yeah. He gave her some good advice - he was quite stern with her, really, but it seemed to be what she needed. A wake-up call, I suppose you could say. Whatever, I'm just grateful it worked."

At that moment, the doctor stepped into the room and smiled at them. "Ah, Sesshoumaru-sama, Aiko-san, and Yasha-san, as well - just who I was looking for. I have just seen Kagome, and I am most pleased with how she is doing. Though she will still be in hospital for at least a week, her head injury, which was what most concerned me, has caused no lasting damage. From what I can tell, her memory is intact, and she is not suffering any breaks or gaps in it, though we will conduct more extensive testing before she is released, of course."

At that, smiles broke out on Yasha's and Aiko's face, and Sesshoumaru nodded, pleased. Inwardly, he sighed with relief. At least Tenseiga would not be needed.

"Yasha will remain here with her while she recovers," Sesshoumaru said then, his voice letting it be known that there would be no arguments on that score.

The doctor nodded agreeably. "That is fine. She will be moved into a private room on the next floor down in the morning - we will make sure that a second bed is placed inside for Yasha-san, as well, at that time." He glanced at his watch, and said, "You may go and see her for a few minutes, though the pain meds will probably knock her out soon, so you should hurry. Now, if you will excuse me, I must see another patient." He smiled at the three and bowed, then left.

Yasha took the lead, walking them into her room, then standing back - after all, he would be staying with her, and they wouldn't, and he'd already talked to her. He could wait.

He turned and looked out the window at the night sky, staring out over Tokyo's skyline with an almost blind gaze.

_Now all that's left to do is get her healed - and deal with that bitch Akina._

His eyes narrowed and flashed crimson at that thought.

-cCc-

The next morning, Sesshoumaru sat back in his study, and considered different punishments for Akina and her parents. Obviously, Kagome had survived, so they would be spared death - however, the punishment would still be severe. Behavior like that was never acceptable, and the bitch had been arrogant enough to attack even after she had been warned away with his name. That was disrespect enough, even without her further actions, to warrant punishment.

And then to have attacked who she had...

He let a wicked smirk cross his face when he considered what his guards had reported to him about the girls parents, and he figured that he had the best punishment already figured for those two.

It seemed that they had been considering having another child - but it was beyond obvious that those two were _not _good parents... so it would be an option that was taken from them. Both would undergo forced sterilization - the demon world did not need irresponsible beings like them reproducing again.

As for Akina... her fate would be two-fold. She would also not be allowed to procreate. There was no way in hell that a being such as her would ever make a good mother. The side effect of that, though, is what would harm her the most, with her propensity for men. There would be few now that would ever accept her as a mate, due to her sterility. That would drastically alter her life options, being that only males that were sterile themselves would ever bother with her now - and no one of good family and standing in the demon world would have her.

Yes... he was satisfied with these punishments. After all, killing the manipulative little bitch would be too easy - this way, she would suffer more, and have a lot longer to think about what she had done. It was shameful that she would let her lust for Yasha, and his family connections, convince her that taking another's life was acceptable.

She would have many, many centuries to consider just how wrong she had been.

With a sharp nod, he called his guards and ordered that the family be escorted to his offices to be told of their fate.

He would greatly enjoy this day...

-cCc-

Yasha watched Kagome sleep with a small smile on his face - she looked more peaceful than she had at any time since the well had finally closed. It had been months of pain and sorrow, and slow, slow, healing, but it was finally getting somewhere.

He could only hope that things would run more smoothly now.

He was pulled from his introspections by a light knock at the door before it opened quietly. It was Mika.

"Hello, Yasha," she said softly, looking at him weighingly. "How is she?"

He sighed, and looked back at her. "She's okay. In a lot of pain, of course, but she's gonna get better."

Mika nodded. "I hear that she finally accepted the Kikyou portion of her soul back - that she reintegrated it within herself. Is that true?"

"Yeah. Oh, she still hates Kikyou, and so do I - but things can start moving ahead, now."

"What made her finally take that portion of her soul back, if I may ask?"

Yasha let his gaze go distant. "I think..." he said hesitantly, "she just decided that Kikyou wasn't worth all the stress and hassle. Her disdain for the woman got to be so great, that she figured she didn't want to act like her, and it would be easier to just accept that part of her soul back, and then forget about the bitch that had held it." He shrugged. "I, personally, don't really care, as long as she gets better."

A curious look crossed her face. "And her feelings for you? Any resolution there?"

Brow quirked, Yasha looked over at Mika. "Is that anyone elses business but ours?" he asked.

"Yes... there is still that couples counseling that you both had agreed to... I think it would be a good idea to continue with it," she said dryly.

He looked at her suspiciously. "There ain't gonna be anymore of that waking our past incarnations up, is there?"

Mika laughed lightly. "No - there'd be no point in it. Now that she has at least taken the soul and begun to meld it back into the rest of her soul, we can focus on working out any lingering resentment towards Inuyasha and Kikyou, and on creating a healthy relationship between the two of you."

Both were a bot startled at the voice that interrupted them. "I'll c-call you in a month and set up an ap-pointment," Kagome stuttered, blinking sleepily in the bright light of the room.

Mika joined Yasha at the side of the bed, and smiled. "Hello, Kagome, welcome back. It's good to see you awake. But I think that for a while, anyway, I might be coming to your house for any appointments - it's going to be difficult for you to go too many places with your broken bones."

Kagome blinked, then chuckled almost silently, a pained look crossing her face as she felt the pain in her ribs. "I g-guess s-so," she winced. "I'd really like to get my hands on that Akina - I'd _so_ make sure to l-leave her in the same shape I'm in - maybe that would get through t-to her."

"Actually, that won't be necessary," Mika chuckled. "Father is dealing with that family - believe me, they will be feeling the repercussions for this for the rest of their lives, if I know father. He doesn't take kindly to those he cares for being harmed."

Kagome's mind shot to a tiny, dark-haired human child from long ago, and the protectiveness that had been evident in Sesshoumaru towards her even back then. She smiled a bit sadly. _Rin... _ "I know. But he's not going to kill anyone, is he?"

Yasha scowled. "He should. If he doesn't, I might."

"No, the only way he would have killed them is if you had died. I think that it's possible they might wish they had died, though," Mika said, laughing at the dark, reproving look Kagome shot at Yasha.

"You know, Yasha," she said, deceptively sweetly, "you are so lucky that you don't have a kotodama on." He flinched, and she grinned, as widely as she was able with her bruised cheeks. "I wonder if I c-could make a set," she mused to herself.

His scowl deepened, and he snapped, "Don't even think about it, wench. Those beads were for assholes - and in this life, I ain't one."

Mika shook her head and laughed again, then reached out and patted Kagome gently on her hand. "I need to get going, I just stopped in to see you before going back to work. I'm glad to see you getting better, Kagome - and don't forget to set up another appointment for the two of you in a month or so."

Kagome smiled back as Mika turned to leave. "Sure, and thanks f-for stopping by," she said.

With a wave, Mika stepped out the door, and Yasha sighed, turning back to look at his girl. He was so happy to see the liveliness in her eyes - though he could do without the lines between her brows signifying pain.

Running the backs of his fingers gently over her cheek, he asked, "Do you want me to get the nurse for some more pain medicine?"

She nodded wearily. She still felt so tired, even though she'd already slept so much. But the pain was quickly getting unbearable. "Yeah," she whispered.

He smiled at her encouragingly. "Just hang on a second, then, baby - I'll hurry." With that, he disappeared, and Kagome had to smile just a bit at his protective nature.

_Yeah, you're right, Yasha. In this life, you aren't an asshole. I think you're perfect._


	32. Fragile Strength

**Chapter 31: Fragile Strength**

Kagome sighed wearily as she settled down onto her bed slowly.

It had been a long three weeks since she'd come home from the hospital, and today, she'd finally set up her and Yasha's first post-coma appointment with Mika. Because of the difficulties she was still suffering due to her injuries, it had indeed been decided that Mika would conduct the meeting here, in her room.

Yasha practically lived here with her family, anyway, barely ever going home, and hovering over her protectively pretty much every second of every day, driving her insane... but she loved him, so she put up with it with a resigned smile.

Shippo was also around a lot, spending a great deal of his time with she and Yasha, and Eri, Yuka, and Ayumi came to visit as much as possible as well, though their visits would soon slow, as they all began their first semesters of college as the summer wore down, and fall came in.

Still, it was nice to have the people she cared about around, and she'd even finally met Sango's reincarnation, a beautiful woman named Suki... beloved. Kagome thought it fit her, and was thrilled to pieces to meet her. Suki didn't remember her past, per se, though she'd felt an instant connection to the younger woman when she'd met her, and had a really strong deja vu reaction. Kagome was certain, that with time, she'd gain some memories of her past life - enough to understand their connection, at any rate.

Suki was Kagome's physical therapist, and worked with her several times a week to strengthen her, though the exercises were minimal at this point, due to her still healing bone structure. Both women were positive, though, that a deep friendship would develop, and that they would be part of each others lives for the rest of both of them.

Kagome was also sure that Miroku would soon be entering the picture, as well, and had no doubts that he was just as much a lecher this time, as he was the last.

Right now, though, every part of her body ached, and with a pained sigh, once again, she looked over at her boyfriend, who'd just entered the room with a glass of the juice she'd asked for, and her pain medication. She smiled gratefully at him, her eyes sparkling with affection - he cared so much, and he didn't hide it from anyone, showing his possessive side just as much as his protective.

As much as she'd fought that behavior from Inuyasha in the past, her spirit was still so fragile right now, that she was grateful for the way he was, and even enjoyed it. As she healed, she would probably push him back just a little, but she didn't think she'd ever go back to being quite as determinedly independent as she'd once been - once something had been broken into as many little pieces as she had, it could never truly be put back together as completely whole as it had once been.

She was a different woman now, and her slightly more reserved behavior showed that.

But Yasha was pleased to see that she didn't hide any of herself from him. He was the only one that she let in completely - and then there was Shippo. Shippo was the next closest, the difference being in Yasha's intimate relationship with the woman he would someday soon - hopefully - be marrying, and Shippo's almost sister-brother relationship with the woman who'd once been his surrogate family.

With everyone else, including her own family, there was that little bit of reserve - she wasn't as open with anyone anymore, and her family and friends, while saddened for that, respected the differences, and stayed as close as she let them.

"Oi, woman, relax," he scolded her as he set the juice down on the side table, then reached over and fluffed her pillows. "You're overdoing it again."

Kagome chuckled at him slightly, careful to not jar her ribs too much - they were still very sore, and moving was difficult without making things worse. "Oh, hush, Dr. Worrywort. I'll be fine... at least, I will be as soon as I get those pills your holding down my throat."

He scowled lightly at her. "Keh. Just hold your horses, you impatient woman. Here," he handed her the pills, and then her juice, watching closely as she popped the little pills in her mouth and then tilted her head back, drinking the juice down slowly. She sighed and smiled as her parched throat smoothed with the drink.

"That felt good," she said softly, turning smiling eyes up at him. "Thank you for taking such good care of me, Yasha." Her smile darkened a little and she looked down. "Though, I don't want you to feel like you have to do these things for me, I _can _do them myself, you know. I'm not totally helpless anymore."

He sent her an aggravated look. "Feh. Kagome, shut up. I do what I'm doing 'cause I want to, and I ain't gonna let anyone tell me when I have to stop. Not even you." He sighed, then sat down on the side of the bed. "I take care of you because I love you, baka... what would _you_ be doing if our positions were reversed?" he asked knowingly.

She flushed, then laughed, staring down at her hands folded in her lap. "You know me too well, that's the problem. I can't get away with anything."

"Nope, you can't, so don't bother tryin'. Now - when's our appointment?"

"Actually, tomorrow at ten." She rolled her eyes at him. "Think you can be here?"

Tapping a long, elegant finger against his chin in mock thoughtfulness, he said, "Maybe... if I can convince my date to change the time that we were supposed to go out," laughing as he ducked her hand. "Geeze, wench, so violent. I'm beginning to wonder what I see in you."

Kagome sobered at that, her own laughter falling away, shame taking its place. "I don't know what you see in me, either, truth be told. I haven't exactly been nice to you since I met you, have I?" She looked at him, sadness in her eyes as his smile slowly faded. "I'm sorry, Yasha, that I treated you so horribly - I was taking all my hurt out on you - and that made me no better than the lowest of the low."

"Kagome," he said, hesitantly, "don't worry about it. It was karma, you could say - just something I had to go through to understand what I put _you_ through in a past life. We've both been hurt... but let's not dwell on that, okay? That's all in the past. I'm sure we'll make plenty of mistakes in the present to bash ourselves over, you know, without havin' to worry about doin' it for the past, too."

She had to chuckle at that, because it was true - there'd be plenty more mistakes over a lifetime together that they really didn't need to look back at the last lifetime's mistakes. "You're right. You've certainly changed a lot from the last life, that's for sure - it's going to take me time to get used to all of this 'you being right' stuff," she teased, as he growled at her playfully. Then she yawned, and he sobered instantly, pushing her back softly to lie against the pillows.

"Go to sleep, wench, you're tired." He smiled as she nodded sleepily, glad that she wasn't fighting him on it, and tucked the blankets gently around her, before kissing her lightly on the forehead. "I'll see you when you wake up. And don't try to get down the stairs by yourself - ring my cell and I'll come get you," he said sternly. Satisfied when she nodded again, he straightened up and left, closing the door quietly behind him.

Her last thought before she sank into dreamland was how different he was from Inuyasha - and how glad she was for that simple fact.

Yasha could never be Inuyasha...

And that was a_ good _thing.

-cCc-

Mika smiled at the two sitting together on the bed, Kagome nestled in Yasha's protective embrace. _How different from those months ago when she refused to even look at him, _she thought, pleased that they seemed to be getting along so well.

"So... Kagome. You finally accepted your soul back... how do you feel about Kikyou now?" she asked, deciding to jump right in.

Yasha tossed her a dirty look, but Kagome answered easily. "Oh, I still can't stand her."

A frown, then, "You still feel hate towards your past life?"

The little miko curled up in Yasha's lap shook her head. "No - I didn't say I still hated her." She shrugged. "Hate takes a lot of energy to maintain - and I just got tired of doing so, I guess you could say. I have no use for her, and am sincerely glad I will never have to see her again, but as for anything else, well - I just feel indifferent."

"You are certainly right there - hatred does take a lot of energy. And how do you feel about what Inuyasha did to you?"

Kagome frowned thoughtfully, then craned her neck around to look up at Yasha as he stiffened, and kissed him under his chin, rubbing his arm comfortingly. She turned to look back at Mika. "I think I'll always have anger at what he did, but I'm ready to move past it. There's nothing I can do about it, anyway, so there's really no point in dwelling on it."

Mika didn't miss Yasha's tension leaving his body at Kagome's answer. "Yasha? How do you feel about what Kagome's said so far?"

He tightened his arms around Kagome, squeezing gently. "Just fine. Inuyasha deserves every bit of anger she has towards him. I've got plenty of my own, truthfully. But it's not something I'm gonna dwell on, either - got much better things to think about, right?"

She nodded approvingly. "You both do. Tell me... what are your plans?"

At that, both looked taken aback. Yasha answered. "Well... we haven't really made any yet - she's still healing, and it's going to be a while before she's really a hundred percent again, with therapy and all. But college, more than likely, we'll start a semester late, but we'll still get there."

"Anything else?"

Kagome grinned, then, as Yasha hesitated - she was completely aware of what he wanted to say, but he was uncertain - so she answered. "Oh, a wedding, at some point, of course. Maybe I'll wait 'til we're done with college... and maybe I won't," she said mischievously, as Yasha choked. She wiggled around a bit in his lap and looked up at him - he looked dumbstruck. "What... didn't you want to marry me?"

He blinked. "Hell, yeah! I just hadn't expected you to have really thought that much about all this - you know, gone that far with things," he said, a slight blush on his face.

Kagome chuckled and turned back around. "Well, I have, so if we're going to be getting married at some point, that means that we're engaged - and I want a ring to put on this finger, Yasha. Now, where were we?" she asked Mika. "Oh, yeah... plans. Well - what he said. College, next semester." She narrowed her eyes. "The _same_ college, I think - I'm not letting him out of my sight around all those college girls."

Yasha snorted behind her. "Feh. Like I'd care about any of them, anyway - but I was gonna say the same thing - 'cause I'm not letting _you_ out of _my_ sight around all those college _guys_."

Mika had to laugh at the two - they made quite a couple, and she could feel a great deal of the apprehension she'd originally had about the possibilities for them disappear. Argue they certainly would; make it despite that, they _also_ certainly would.

"I'm glad to see you both meshing so well - I have to admit, in the beginning, I doubted whether you would."

Kagome sobered at that, as did Yasha. "We wouldn't have, then. I was too broken to have a relationship with anyone at that time. Things have changed," she murmured. "I'm more than ready now."

Yasha dropped a kiss on her shoulder, so honestly grateful for the chance to be with her that he couldn't even speak at that moment; he simply let the two women talk. He knew quite well how close he'd really come to losing her... and knew that if he had, he'd have lost himself, as well.

With a glance at him, Mika nodded thoughtfully. "Tell me... are you certain you can spend your life with Yasha, knowing that he is the reincarnation of the one who hurt you so badly?" Blunt it certainly was, but she wanted to make sure that Kagome had thought about this.

Kagome pursed her lips as she glowered at Mika, beginning to get a bit angry. She could feel the tension returning to Yasha's frame. "Let me make this very clear to you, Mika, so that you never ask me something like that again - Yasha is _not Inu_yasha, and for that I'm extremely grateful. Nor are Inuyasha's mistakes Yasha's. Who he was in another lifetime has nothing to do with who he is in this one, _or_ how I feel for him. Satisfied?"

_Protective of him as he is of her... good._

"I believe so. I'm sorry if that question upset you, Kagome, but that's what I'm here for - to ask difficult questions."

Concerned with the silence from behind her, Kagome reached up a hand and gently began to rub a velvety ear - and smiled happily at the sudden rumbling growl that came from her hanyou as he bent his head and nuzzled her shoulder, taking a deep inhale of her scent.

"You okay back there?" she asked softly.

With a sigh, he nodded a little, not wanting to jar her hand from its place on his ear. "Yeah... I'm okay."

"Good." After a moment, she let her hand fall back into her lap, and Yasha once again looked up, meeting Mika's gaze.

"Got any of that type of question for me?"

She nodded. "Yes. Now that you finally have what you thought you've always wanted, are you sure that you'll be happy tied to her for the rest of your life?"

Yasha stiffened angrily at that; he hadn't missed Kagome's sharp inhale of breath. "You're really hurling sharp sticks today, Mika," he snarled. "Are you sure you didn't get up on the wrong side of the cave this morning? And the answer is yes - I'm totally certain I'll be happy with her forever."

"Sometimes the sharp sticks are the ones that we need to get poked by, Yasha - because the easy answers we don't usually need help with. I'm not trying to hurt anybody here, but I think these are the very questions that each of you needed to hear the answers to. Am I wrong?"

Still disgruntled, though he knew she was right, he nodded, his mind easing when Kagome did as well.

"Still... do you have to ask all the difficult questions in one sitting?"

At that, Mika laughed. "Actually, I was just about to call it good for the day. I think that you two are doing very well together, so I'm going to suggest that we only see each other once a month to touch bases, though if something happens and you need to see me sooner, you can call me. How does that sound?"

"What do you think, K'gome? Think that's good?" Yasha asked softly.

Kagome nodded, a smile breaking out across her face. "Yeah, sounds good to me."

"Then that's what we'll do." She opened her dayplanner and skipped to the next month, and studied her open appointments. "I think that we'll make one more appointment here at home for you..." she muttered under her breath for a few moments, then scribbled something down on a card and handed it to Kagome. "That work for you?"

Yasha looked over her shoulder at the card, then grabbed a small appointment book from Kagome's nightstand and looked through it. "That's fine," he said as he penned in the information, "there's nothing else scheduled for that day yet, so it'll work."

Mika nodded, then stood, and Yasha scooted himself and Kagome off the bed. "We'll walk you out - I'm taking Kagome outside to sit under the Goshinboku, anyway. She needs a bit of sun and fresh air," he said.

They parted at the god tree, Mika continuing on down the stairs, and Yasha and Kagome settling down under the tree in the same position they'd been in in her room.

It was quiet for a few minutes, then, "So... engaged?" Yasha finally asked in a quiet voice. "I... didn't think you'd be ready to talk about things like that yet."

She sighed. "I'm ready to talk about those things, and even ready to be engaged. I'm _not_ ready to be married yet, though I know that we certainly _will_ be married someday. I just need time - and we have a lot of that, don't we?"

He nodded, a smile on his lips. "Yeah... we do. As for a ring... if you're feeling okay, maybe we can go next week and look for one?"

She twisted her head to look up at him, a happy light in her eyes that had been missing for a long time. Affection shone through, as well as peace - she looked, in that moment, like she used to, before she'd been broken. It made his heart swell with unbridled love for her.

Then she smiled back at him, and it lit her expression from the inside out, leaving him breathless as she said, "That's a good idea, Yasha - because I _don't_ want to be surprised - I'd rather choose the rings together."

He snuggled her closer into his chest as she turned her head back around and cuddled into him, a sense of contentment and happiness flooding through him, unlike anything he'd ever felt before in his life.

_That was a pretty dumb question Mika - as if I'd ever want anyone else. No one else is Kagome, in all her fragile strength..._

_And Kagome has always been the only one for me._

-cCc-

A/N: I was surprised recently to find that Broken Fates had been nominated by Psycochick 32 at the IYFG for Best Original Character for Yasha. I was absolutely thrilled, and wanted to send a shout out to her for it, as well as caitriona for seconding. Also, thanks to Ai Kisugi for nominating To Walk a Mile in Her Shoes, though it didn't make it through seconding. I'm glad you liked it enough to nominate it!

Also, due to the overwhelming reader responses to all my stories, I won't be able to respond to every review any longer - there are just too many, though I read and enjoy every one, and will still respond to any and all questions.

At any rate, I hope everyone enjoys the new chapter...

Amber


	33. There Will Always Be Some Pain

**Chapter 32: There Will Always be Some Pain**

Sesshoumaru listened quietly to his daughter's report about Kagome's state of mind, and sighed. Of course, there was not much that she could legally say, Doctor-patient confidentiality being what it was, but it was enough for her to tell him that she was doing well, and that she and Yasha were now considered engaged.

Things were coming to an end - everything that had started five hundred years ago with her advent into the Sengoku Jidai, was finally arriving full-circle, and he was actually relieved, in a way. It left him with one more responsibility, and then he could move on for himself.

For centuries, he'd had feelings for the young miko, and though he'd done his duty and mated an inuyoukai female, providing heirs for his lands, now that she was gone, and his self-imposed duties to Kagome were almost done, it was time to decide what he wanted for his own life.

At one point, he'd even considered letting himself go - after all, his son was old enough to take over, and certainly powerful enough and well-trained for his duties. But something that he had not expected had happened - interest in another woman had roused his beast, and now, he was thinking that he could take his freedom, and pursue that interest.

Aiko Higurashi.

So much like the little miko he'd been fascinated by, and yet - different. More maturity in some ways, which was to be expected, of course, but also, a little less temperamental. She was attractive physically, with a short, neatly kept pixie hair style that emphasized the neatness of her bone structure, deep, dark eyes, and full lips that had a tendency to smile more than anything else, and a fit, tone body that was deceptively young.

Yes... he was definitely interested, and he felt relief, inside, that his interest in the miko was changing to one of pack, rather than one of affection for a mate - he'd had enough of heartache over the last five hundred years.

That didn't mean that he didn't still care about her, because he did, and always would. And if he ever caught wind of his nephew harming her, there would be blood spilled - but he was positive that would not be necessary. No, Yasha was a lost cause for any other woman - he would never stray.

His mind wandered back to that one last responsibility to Kagome, and he sighed again, knowing that now was the time. He wasn't sure how she would take what he had to say, but once it was done, he could begin to pursue his interest in her mother, and so, looking forward to something for the first time in centuries, he lifted his phone and made the call.

It didn't take long to garner her agreement to meet him for coffee, although she was a bit leery of his instructions that Yasha was to be left at home - she insisted that the boy would not listen to her in such matters, and he agreed to call his nephew and give him those orders himself.

He called Yasha, giving him those same orders, and she was right, he was very angry, but finally agreed, though it was clear that it was the last time he would back down to anyone when it came to Kagome - from there on out, she would be his responsibility, and no one would be able to pry him from her side.

That was okay with Sesshoumaru, he only needed this one private talk to relay the words that his brother had left in his care. He didn't really like what was to be said, but he had given his word, and wouldn't break it now.

It was one last moment between Kagome and Inuyasha, and his brother had not wanted the message to be tainted by coming from his reincarnation.

Once it was said, the hanyou could sleep peacefully inside Yasha once again, and the past would have finally been laid to rest.

-cCc-

"Sesshoumaru."

He tilted his head in acknowledgment, standing and pulling out her seat, he waited for her to sit down, then took his own seat. He'd watched her walk through the little coffee shop towards him with a bittersweet feeling in his heart; for so long, he'd cared more than anyone had ever known for this young woman, and though those feelings were finally changing a bit, allowing him to show interest in another at long last, there would always be a part of him that would be tied to her.

He would always care.

"Kagome. I know you weren't happy with me asking to meet you without Yasha, but there is a reason for that request," he said, noting her uncomfortable expression. He looked up as the waiter approached, then back at her. "Would you like some coffee?"

She shook her head. "If you don't mind, I'd rather have an italian soda - raspberry," she said, smiling politely up at the waiter.

He bowed his head to her, and winked flirtatiously. "Sure thing." He turned to look at Sesshoumaru. "And for you, sir?"

"Arabica roast, black, two sugars."

"Very good, I'll return shortly with your drinks." He smiled once more at them, then turned and made his way back to the kitchen area and disappeared.

Kagome cleared her throat a little uncomfortably, wondering once again what he could possibly have wanted to say to her that couldn't be said in front of Yasha. "So... you said you had something important to talk to me about?" she prompted.

He cocked a brow. "Two things - one important, the other not so much, though it must be said, since I gave my word."

She frowned. "Well...?"

He sighed, and glancing around, made sure that no other patrons were within hearing. This wasn't a story for anyone else; he'd only suggested such a public place to appease Yasha. Glad that there weren't many customers at all, and most were at the front of the establishment, he turned back and looked at Kagome.

"Not long before his death, my brother came to me with a certain request. I was... taken aback, to say the least, but I heard him out, and eventually, reluctantly agreed to do as he asked." He hadn't missed her stiffening posture - she wasn't happy with the subject, he could tell.

"So why couldn't Yasha be here, then? If this is something about your brother, he'd already know about it, right?"

A head shake was her answer. "No. After he asked me to pass on this message, he had me erase it from his memory - he wanted this to be a sort of final contact between he and you, with no interference from his reincarnation."

Kagome looked away uneasily, not sure she wanted to hear what he'd had to say. _But then again... maybe I need this to close the door entirely on that part of my life. One final moment of contact between us... though I have the feeling this is going to hurt._

Straightening, she nodded. "Alright, I guess I can accept that." She sighed. "Let me have it, then. What did he need to say that was so important that he would go to these lengths?"

Sesshoumaru gazed upon her with approval. _There is that same courage that I always so admired in her. It is good to see it back again. She won't ever be the same as she once was, but... despite being so broken, she has healed well beyond what I thought she would._

With an inward sigh, he was finally able to admit to himself with no reservations - _Yasha is good for her. He will take care of her..._

"Inuyasha had never planned to choose Kikyou. He had already made his choice - and it was you." He met her shocked, disbelieving gaze firmly. "The only reason he changed his mind was because he was confronted by one of the kami themselves the night before you left the village for the final battle. He was told that if he kept you with him, both your lives would be shortened, and your souls would be separated forever. The kami, you see, had things planned the way they wanted, and would not tolerate either of you changing it. So... reluctantly, he let you go, and accepted the directive of the kami concerning Kikyou."

Kagome slumped back into her chair, so stunned that she couldn't even feel any of the pain she knew was coming. "But... but why would the kami _do_ that?" she wailed softly. "Did they really enjoy making me suffer so much?"

"It was not that, Kagome. But you were meant to be with Yasha. Knowing how you feel now, about him, can you not see that the kami were right? As much as you loved Inuyasha, you are already getting much closer to Yasha than you were to him. You fit together better in ways you never would have with my brother."

She blinked, then shook her head to clear it as the waiter came towards them with their drinks. With politely murmured thanks, she dismissed his presence, and continued to run Sesshoumaru's words through her mind. She just couldn't believe...

_All this time... _"But then, why was he so apologetic to me the times he's awakened from Yasha's sub-conscious?" she asked.

"Because he does not remember this, Kagome - as I mentioned before, after he shared the memory of the visit by the kami, and his feelings for you, he asked me to remove them - he didn't want this to come from Yasha. It was his way of gaining a last little bit of privacy between you."

She nodded absently as she sipped on her drink, lost in thought; she had never expected to hear something like this, but it shed new light on some of the things that had happened in the past. _Trust Inuyasha to make things difficult, _she thought sadly.

It hurt, knowing the truth, now, but it also freed her, in some ways. And though she knew that those particular memories would always hurt, it was in a tired, distant sort of way - no longer immediate, and distracting. She could live with it.

She supposed she could see Inuyasha's desire to keep this memory from Yasha - he couldn't have known how his reincarnation would act. It was very possible that Yasha, out of mis-placed jealousy, would not have passed on that message - better if he didn't know there was anything to pass on.

Her brow furrowed. "So he also wanted to forget about the visit by the kami, as well?" she asked skeptically. "Because Yasha hasn't ever mentioned anything like this..." she trailed off.

After a contemplative sip of his coffee, he said, "Yes. He asked that those memories be taken from him - the memory of the visit by the kami, and admitting his feelings for you. He will never remember any of that - which in turn means that neither will Yasha. The truth is now known only by you and I. I believe it should stay that way."

Kagome sighed, then nodded. "I agree. This... it's a lot to take in, though. I don't know how I feel about it, but I suppose in the end it doesn't matter. Inuyasha's dead, and my life is different now. It's not like I can go back. I don't even want to, anymore. While I understand better now why he made the choice he made, I still have anger about how he went about getting me to leave. I'll eventually get over it-" she waved off his suddenly concerned look, "-and it's not like it's eating me up inside even now, or anything. Don't worry about it."

He eyed her dubiously for a moment, then nodded. "If you are certain...?"

"Oh, hai, I am." She took another drink of her soda. "So... now for the important thing you wanted to talk to me about? Since you didn't consider that important..." she chuckled dryly.

Looking away, Sesshoumaru considered his words carefully before he spoke. It was important to him that she not take what he had to say negatively.

"I wish to court your mother, Kagome," he said softly. "Would you be alright with such a thing? I do not wish to cause upset."

She blinked, her expression stunned. "Uh... come again?"

He chuckled a little amused at her reaction. "You heard my words, miko, I do not need to repeat them."

Almost falling back against the seat, she shook her head, bemused. "Wow. You... and my _mom_? I would never have thought of that," she said. Her brow furrowed. "She's human, Sesshoumaru, and we both know you aren't all that fond of us as a race. Why mom?"

"I am not overly fond of humans as a race; taken as a lump sum that way, the bad very easily outweighs the good. Taken individually, however, there are those that are worthy - your mother is one of them." He shot her a questioning look. "And I ask, why not her? She is attractive, intelligent, and caring - is that not enough reason?"

Kagome waved a hand dismissively. "Don't get all bent out of shape, you don't have to tell me how wonderful my mother is, I already know. Have you spoken to her about any of this?" she asked, curious.

He shook his head. "No. I wanted to speak to you first. It is a... respect thing, I suppose you could say."

With a deep flush, Kagome smiled at him. _This has been such a strange day... first I find out about all that with Inuyasha, _her heart skipped a saddened beat, _and now Sesshoumaru telling me he respects me and wants to basically date my mother. Is this like one of those Candid Camera things, or something? _Shaking those thoughts out of her head, she sighed.

"I don't have any problem with it at all, Sesshoumaru. I always want the best for my mom, and let's face it, you are the best, ne?" she chuckled.

Inclining his head, he smirked just slightly. "I am glad you see it my way, Kagome," he joked, his smirk widening just a bit when she laughed. It wasn't a long laugh, but it was still there, and with things the way they had been, any mirth from her was to be cherished.

She rolled her eyes, a wry expression on her face as she finished her soda, and set her cup back down. "Oh, with an ego that has had so many centuries to develop, I just don't feel the need to fight it," she teased. Sobering, then, she met his amused gaze with a serious light in hers. "All I ask is that you treat her well, Sesshoumaru. Don't hurt her."

He nodded, not bothered by her words; it was normal for family, for pack, to defend each other. "You have my word that I will never deliberately hurt her, Kagome."

She eyed him for one more moment, then nodded acceptingly. "Good. So... shall we go, then? I don't know about you," she glanced down at her cell phone, which was vibrating almost angrily with Yasha's number prominently displayed, "but I have a certain someone that's bugging the hell out of my phone, and if I don't get back to him, he might dismantle the whole area looking for me."

"Hn. My nephew is a most possessive puppy, is he not?"

Kagome couldn't help the snickers that burst forth at that. _Puppy?_

Still chuckling, she waved goodbye as they stepped from the shop and turned to go their separate ways.

_Puppy... somehow, I don't think Yasha would quite qualify as a puppy - at least not anymore. But maybe I can convince his mother to show me some pictures of when he was chibi?_

That thought kept her comforted all the way home... she would think on the things she had learned today at another time - she wasn't ready yet, and that was okay.

She had plenty of time, after all, to deal with the painful subjects in life.

-cCc-

It was a good thing Kagome was expecting to be pounced when she got home, because she'd been able to come up with a good way to keep Yasha from finding out about Inuyasha's last words to her - by telling the truth.

Or, at least,_ part _of the truth. After all, the best lies are based in the truth, and Kagome quite happily subscribed to that theory, telling Yasha that Sesshoumaru had wanted to see her to ask her about courting her mother.

Yasha wasn't really that surprised when she told him, and ended up having to explain some of the things he'd seen while she was in the hospital - namely, his uncle's interest in her mother. He did, however, find it funny that the older youkai male had actually felt the need to ask Kagome about her feelings on the subject - at least until Kagome smacked him for thinking it amusing that Sesshoumaru cared about her thoughts on the subject.

He ended up spending the rest of the day trying to get back in her good graces - which kept him from trying to delve any deeper into her meeting with his uncle. And that was just as she wanted it.

She also made him swear not to mention anything about Sesshoumaru and her mother to anyone. It was, after all, not his business - and she had promised to keep the secret herself.

If Yasha ever suspected that there had been more to that meeting than she admitted to, he never spoke of it, and things from that day settled into a comfortable routine that both were very happy with. He understood, sometimes, when he would notice her gaze going far away, and sadness enter her scent, and simply offered her comfort, proving that he understood her better than his predecessor ever had...

The kami really _had_ known what they were doing when they insisted that Kagome return to her time to be with Yasha - he healed her and loved her and held her together in ways that Inuyasha would never have been capable of.

And Kagome was content with that.

-cCc-

A/N: No, it's not quite the end, but there's only another couple of chapters left in this little tale.

I know that many are probably thinking "Ewww, Sess and Kagome's mom? But I say why not? I just couldn't leave Sess alone to be unhappy, so I had to do something, and Kagome's mom never gets any love, so why not put them together in this story?

Anyway, I just wanted to share the awesome news - Broken Fates placed second for Best Original Character for Yasha at the IYFG this term! I was so excited - I've never been nominated for an OC before, so it was really awesome! Thank you to psyco_chick32 for the nomination, and caitriona for the second - I'm so honored that you thought I did a good enough job to be considered award-worthy. Also, congrats to all the others nominated, and to those who won, as well!

Amber


	34. What Was Once Broken

**Chapter 33: What Was Once Broken**

"Kagome," Yasha whined, "are you ready _yet?" _

He was getting frustrated - today was the day he was taking his girl to get an engagement ring, and he couldn't wait to get one on her finger..._ before _she changed her mind on him.

He listened intently at the series of mutters and low curses coming from the bathroom, and flinched when he realized she was telling him where to get off - she'd be ready when she was ready, and he needed to calm down and wait.

With a morose sigh, ears plastered to his head, he wandered back into her room, and sat down on her bed with a thump.

_Come on, Kagome! How long does it take to get ready, anyway? Women... always taking forever for stupid reasons, _he huffed to himself. But then a smile started to cross his lips, and he couldn't help the besotted look that settled on his face. _Keh... but I wouldn't have it any other way. As long as I can have her, I can put up with anything._

That's how Kagome found him when she finally left the bathroom and walked back into her bedroom, and she stopped to stare at him dubiously for a moment, wondering what he was thinking that had that kinda... weird... smile on his face.

"Uhm, Yasha?" she called out softly. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" he asked, one dark brow climbing into his bangs.

"I don't know," she said slowly, still looking at him with suspicion. "You just have this funny look on your face."

He chuckled. "I was just thinking how I couldn't wait to get that ring on your finger before you change your mind and kick me to the curb." He said it with a smile, but something in his eyes gave him away.

_He's really... worried that might happen... _"Yasha, I'm not going to change my mind, so stop worrying." She moved towards him, and folded herself to her knees before him, looking up at him earnestly as she placed both hands on his thighs.

"I know I haven't said it much, and for that, I'm sorry, since it seems that you've needed to hear it, but I love you, and I can't imagine being without you now." She sighed, and her eyes dropped, she stared at his shirt for several moments, then looked back up at him.

A trifle reluctantly, she said, "For a long time, I didn't - _wouldn't_ - accept that Inuyasha was right to send me home - to you. That he was right when he said that _you _were the one meant to join with me in this incarnation. It hurt, you see... that he could cast me away so easily. But I have come to believe with all my heart now that he was right. You_, Yasha, _and I, _Kagome_, are supposed to be right where we are - and I wouldn't want it any other way."

He held her gaze for several minutes as he searched her eyes, his own hopeful, and finally, she could see a sense of veiled relief come into them as he accepted her words.

Pulling her up into his arms suddenly, Kagome 'eeped' in surprise at the move, but then smiled and snuggled into his embrace, hoping to calm the tiny shivers that were coursing through his body.

"I love_ you_, Kagome - _I love __you_," he whispered from his spot, nose buried in her midnight locks. "Always and forever you. I've waited for this, for_ us_, for so long..." he trailed off, and Kagome could hear the echo of old pain in his voice.

Her heart clenched sadly - she knew it was her fault he sounded that way.

"Itoshii," she whispered back, knowing he would hear her. "The waiting's over. I'm here, and you're here, and that's never going to change." With one last squeeze, she pushed away a little, and looked up into his face.

"Now... if I remember rightly, someone promised to take me somewhere and buy me jewelry - do you know who that might have been?" she asked teasingly, and chuckled when he growled.

"Keh! It _better_ be me you're talkin' about, woman. There shouldn't be any other guy buying you jewelry. You're mine, and I don't share - I'm stingy that way."

She laughed aloud as she climbed back up to her feet, and held her hand out to pull him up, as well. "What, if Souta buys me a necklace or something for my birthday, are you gonna have a fit?" she snickered.

"Oi! I'll have you know that I'm not_ that _mindless. I'm smarter this time around - I'll leave that stupid crap to Inuyasha." He narrowed his eyes at her as she gasped and snickered even more. "That don't mean, woman, that you can go around _tryin_' to make me jealous," he warned.

Shaking her head, she grabbed her purse, then, still clutching his hand, dragged him out of her room.

"Come on, Yasha, let's get going before I get aggravated enough to make you buy me the biggest diamond ring known to man just for spite."

He snorted at that. "Heh. You'll have to come up with a better threat than that, K'gome - I've got Tessaiga, remember? If you can't find a big enough diamond to suit, I'll just go pump out a few adamant barrage's, and have you pick one from the chunks it throws out."

Kagome came to a thoughtful halt for a moment at that, and then continued down the stairs.

"No... I think I'll be alright going to a jewelry store and getting something a bit more modest than that."

Stopping in the genkan to put on their shoes, the couple left the house, still amiably squabbling as they disappeared from the shrine grounds.

-cCc-

Kagome couldn't stop staring at the ring that Yasha had bought and paid for - and then reverently placed on her finger, after whispering a proposal to her. While he probably could have found a more romantic place to do so than the jewelry store itself, it was obvious that he hadn't planned what he'd done - which meant it had come straight from the heart.

The look in his eyes gave it away, anyway - the absolute worship she found there completely disarmed her, and there was no way she could have ever turned him down. Not that she wanted to, anyway.

She couldn't stop looking at it and then beaming up at him every few seconds, and he returned all those looks with interest - they were probably leaving a trail of people drowning in all the fluff, but she just couldn't bring herself to care - or stop.

Looking back over the last several years, she couldn't remember once being so happy, and, once again looking down at the platinum-banded diamond surrounded by two smaller emeralds, she decided that all the pain and suffering were worth it.

Oh, not that they didn't have their little fights, but the truth was that it didn't matter. No matter how angry they each got, separating simply never entered their thoughts - and in fact, they seemed to both greatly enjoy making up after wards. Sometimes, Kagome would actually start a fight just to get a great make-up session... though she would never, ever, admit that.

And the best part of the whole thing, in Kagome's opinion at least, was that with Yasha, she didn't have to worry and wonder - did he actually love her, or was she only second best? With Yasha, she was first, and only, in his heart. There was no Kikyou to feel inferior to.

For a moment, at that, she felt guilty, thinking about Inuyasha, and how Yasha was not her first love... but then she realized that it really was different. Yasha was _not _Inuyasha, and he also wasn't second anything. Sure, she'd loved Inuyasha - but not like she did Yasha. And if he ever began to wonder, or worry, she'd make sure he immediately knew where he stood - there would be none of her running off after some old love, even if Inuyasha had been around for her to do so.

She smiled up at Yasha, and sighed. For something that had once been so broken, she felt more alive than she could ever remember being, and it was all due to the beautiful hanyou next to her - the one that was smiling back down at her.

The one that was leading her somewhere, and she finally realized that it wasn't back home.

"Um, Yasha? Where are we going?" she asked, a confused expression in her eyes.

He shot her a mischievous glance, then looked back up at the sidewalk they were following. "What - don't recognize the way to the mall, woman? And here I thought all girls had that route memorized from the time they were old enough to walk."

She growled at him lightly, swatting his backside with her be-ringed hand. "Jerk. _Why_ are we going to the mall?"

"You mean, we need a reason?" he teased, then put his hands up in laughing surrender as she glared at him.

"I swear to kami, Yasha, I'm going to make a set of beads for you if you don't straighten up!"

"Okay, okay," he snickered. "I'll stop teasing. I just thought we could wander around, see who's out and about, maybe. I dunno," he shrugged, "I just didn't feel like going back to the shrine right now."

"Oh... okay," she nodded, "I guess I can see that. I kinda agree there - since I've been home bound for so long, getting out and just walking around feels so good - though I'm starting to get a little tired. I think I'll need to take a rest once we get there."

Yasha frowned, cursing himself inwardly. _Damn... I didn't think of that. She's been mostly bed-ridden for so long her stamina's shot. Probably should have just taken her to the park where she could have just sat down and enjoyed the day._

"Would you rather go to a park or something and just sit and watch the birds for a while, instead?" he asked, eyeing her worriedly.

"No, I'm fine. I need to build myself back up, anyway, you know, so as long as I can sit down every little while and take a breather, I'll be okay. The mall's good for that."

"Hm... I guess so. We'll sit down as much as you need, then. But you'd better tell me if you start to get too sore. I'll carry you home," he said.

Her eyes twinkled up at him gratefully. "Thanks, Yasha. You're the best."

"And you'd better never forget that, K'gome - no one will ever take care of you like I will," he said teasingly, though his gaze was serious.

Kagome nodded. "I know, Yasha." She looked away, staring at the many pedestrians walking by so fast, concentrating so hard on their busy lives. "There's been so many times over the last few months that I wouldn't have been able to pull through if it hadn't been for you taking care of me."

He reached down and took her hand, squeezing it gently, letting her know he understood her words.

_It's the truth, after all, _she thought. _If he hadn't been there, putting all the tiny little shards of me back together piece by piece, I... don't know where I'd be right now. Oh, there'll always be visible cracks, and even a few holes in me, because I was shattered so badly... but I'm as whole as I can be again - he's so patient, to spend so much time on me._

Suddenly feeling every bit the joyous young bride-to-be, she grinned, and catching sight of the mall, she pulled him behind her as she took off towards the main doors at a surprisingly fast clip, which she managed to maintain for quite a ways.

"Come on, Yasha, let's go see what trouble we can find," she cried cheerfully.

"Oi, woman, slow down a bit," he mock scowled. "You shouldn't be trying to run yet - you've only just started being able to walk around easily again."

She rolled her eyes and tugged his hand again, laughing at his disgruntled expression. "Oh, get over it. I'm not some little china doll."

With a sigh, he wondered what the hell he'd been thinking in bringing her here, but he couldn't deny the sparkle in her eye - or the way she kept looking down at her ring finger with excitement. _Whatever makes the woman happy... I love to see her with such a smile. And it's even better that I'm the one that put it there - and not that baka Inuyasha... _he scowled for real... _or that numbnuts wolf... or that pansy Hojo. Keh!_

"Well, come on, then," he replied, holding the door open for her. "Let's get the mall surfing over with."

She chuckled. "Mall surfing?"

"Yeah, mall surfing. Anything in particular you want to do or see?" he asked.

"Well-" she looked at her watch, "-it's just after lunch, but we haven't eaten, so why don't we go get something at the food court, and then decide what else we want to do from there."

He shrugged. "Sure. Sounds good, I know I'm hungry as hell."

Thankfully, since lunch had just passed, the food court wasn't quite so swamped, and the lines were short. It didn't take long before they were both at a table and chowing down happily, talking desultorily about this and that.

Yasha wasn't paying any more attention to their surroundings than Kagome was, and that's why he was so caught off-guard when a shrill voice began to berate Kagome. Whipping around in reaction to her shock, his gaze landed on the one female he never wanted to see in this life again, the cause of Kagome almost dying - Akina.

Rage overtaking his mind almost immediately, his youki rose, beginning to interfere with his concealment spell, and Kagome gasped, shocked and suddenly fearful about his state of mind. Jumping to her feet, she completely ignored Akina, grabbing ahold of Yasha's face and turning his head so he could only see her.

"Yasha, stop, come back to me - don't pay any attention to anyone else. You've got to calm down, itoshii - you're beginning to lose your concealment spell," she whispered, scared to death of what would happen if he couldn't pull himself back from the edge.

She kept her gaze pinned to him as his eyes flickered from gold to red then back several times, before finally leveling out into their normal golden tones. His crests were still evident to her, and he was still growling, but he hadn't lost it yet.

"That's it, my beautiful hanyou, calm down. She's not worth it, you know that, right?"

"That bitch should be dead. She tried to kill you!" he snarled, still clearly enraged.

Kagome was about to answer that when the stupid bitch, who was obviously not smart enough to leave, once more opened her mouth.

By that time, though, Kagome had had it, and without even breaking eye contact with Yasha, she promptly decked the girl, slamming her fist right into her jaw, knocking her out cold. She winced, shaking out her hand.

"Ow... that bitch has one hard head," she groused, not even noticing the stunned look a now much calmer Yasha was passing her way.

"Kagome," he said softly, "You just... you just _hit _that girl. Where the _hell _did that come from?"

She cast a disgruntled look at the girl laying on the ground near her feet even as mall security made their way towards the two of them. "Well, don't you think I had enough provocation? After all, she's the reason I almost died, and was in the damn hospital for so long. I mean, come on, she ran me over with a car! And on top of that, she corners me here, and ruins my day with her shrill screaming!"

Yasha immediately stood as soon as he spotted the security guards and stepped in front of Kagome protectively.

"This woman was bothering my fiance and I - would you be so kind as to remove her?" he barked out, his voice commanding.

Kagome almost did a double take - in that moment, he sounded just as cold and dangerous as his uncle did, and she was actually amused at the reaction of the guards - they were obviously wanting to know who he was.

The first guard to reach them asked just that as his partner checked Akina. "She's okay, just out cold," the second one stated.

The first guard didn't remove his gaze from Yasha. "Well, boy? What's your name?"

The moment Yasha told them who he was, faces paled, and without missing a beat, the guards became much more respectful - everyone knew that you did not want to cause trouble with the Taisho family.

"And you say that this woman was bothering you and your fiance?"

"Yes. My fiance was almost killed by that woman recently - she mowed her down with a car, and now, she comes here, and verbally assaults her," he said venomously. "She is not supposed to be anywhere near me or my fiance, so she's in violation of that order of protection, too."

Eyes widening, the two security guards looked down at the woman on the floor, and wondered at her sanity. She had to have a death wish to continue harassing anyone with that name - not to mention, she had assaulted her with a _car?_

The first security guard looked over Yasha's shoulder at the woman standing behind him. "Ma'am? Could I have your name, please? In case the police need to speak to you about today's incident?"

She blinked, still surprised at Yasha's actions, and not paying too much attention to their words for a long second, until she was prompted again, by Yasha's elbow, this time.

"Ah, sorry, it's Kagome Higurashi," she replied with a blush.

One of the guards spoke into his walkie-talkie, apparently ordering the police to be called, and Kagome shook her head, staring down at the woman who'd caused so much trouble.

_Rather dense girl, isn't she? _she thought. _I just hope Yasha doesn't go off the deep end again before they get her out of here._

Both security guards were bowing to Yasha by this point, and, ignoring the curious crowds, Kagome listened in.

"Our supervisor is coming to take care of you and your fiance, Taisho-sama, and we will deal with this woman - the police will arrive soon."

Yasha nodded curtly, and Kagome watched his eyes scanning the crowds for the promised supervisor. That was why she caught his wide-eyed look the moment it appeared, and taken aback, she turned her head and followed his gaze...

And almost fell over in shock.

"M-miroku?" she gasped.

-cCc-

A/N: I've been honestly pleased at the response to the odd pairing of Sesshoumaru and Kagome's mom - it's been awesome! I'm glad to see that I didn't tweak anyone out...

Amber


	35. Reunited

**Chapter 34: Reunited**

The handsome young male dressed snazzily in black pants and a deep purple shirt turned his head to look at the young woman who'd addressed him so, and smiled, moving towards her with the same tunnel vision he'd employed in his last life so well.

"And how do you know my name, beautiful lady?" he asked, clasping both her hands in his. "Have we perhaps met before?"

Kagome giggled nervously, eyeing her now growling hanyou, and pulled her hands away. "Uh... no, you just reminded me of someone, that's all."

Miroku's grin widened, and he stepped closer to the girl. "Someone that carried my name as well? Interesting... but may I ask, my Lady, what your name is?"

With a blush, Kagome stuttered out, "Higurashi, Kagome," and tried to step away again before her hot-headed hanyou took action.

But Yasha had had enough, and reached out, ripping his girl away from the male who it was clear, was just as much a lecher in this life, as he was in the other. "Oi!" he snarled. "Shouldn't you be doing your job instead of hitting on my fiance?"

Miroku looked over at the irate male, and sighed, his expression downcast. "It figures that such a beauty is already taken." His face lit up hopefully after a moment, though. "Are you sure, beautiful Kagome, that you would not like to bear my children?"

Yasha and Kagome both stared at him, eyes wide and mouths hanging open as the other security guards simply looked resigned... and then burst out laughing.

"I c-can't believe it," Kagome gasped out. "He really is that perverted."

Not wanting to say too much, Yasha simply nodded, and once he got himself under control, he stepped forward, and grabbed the guy's shirt, pulling him close. "It was funny once, moron, but don't think about ever saying that to Kagome again. The only children she'll be bearing are mine. Got that?" he asked in an icy voice.

While Kagome blushed, Miroku swallowed hard and nodded.

"Oh, and if you ever try to grope her..." he trailed off warningly, tightening his grip on his collar, and Miroku actually squeaked, once more nodding as best he was able.

Yasha smiled wickedly, and then put him back down on the ground, smoothing his lapel as he did so. "Good. Now that we've got that out of the way, I'm Taisho, Yasha, and you are Miroku..?"

Miroku cleared his throat a bit, and then smiled ingratiatingly. "Ah! Beg pardon for not introducing myself properly. Watanabe, Miroku, at your service," he said, bowing deeply. "If you will follow me, I will take you to my office so that you can await the police in privacy, Taisho-san."

"About time you remembered your job, pervert," Yasha mumbled as he reached out and folded Kagome's dainty hand in his own, then tugged her along as he followed the security supervisor towards the other end of the mall.

Kagome eyed him as he walked ahead of them, and then leaned closer to Yasha to whisper, "He even looks almost exactly the same. It's kinda freaky, to tell the truth... though comforting in a strange way, too."

The hanyou snorted, twitching a lock of silver hair over his shoulder as he stared narrowly at the man's back. "Yeah, well, hopefully, he learns quicker in this incarnation, because if he touches you inappropriately _just once_, he's gonna be starting into his _next_ incarnation well ahead of schedule," he whispered back.

She muffled her giggles with one hand, eyes sparkling as she looked up at him. "Jealous?"

"Keh, no! I ain't got nothin' to be jealous of - I'm just possessive," he rumbled. And then his eyes flashed, and narrowed thoughtfully. "My uncle is going to blow a gasket when he finds out about this... I think I should probably call him as soon as we reach that office. It'll be better if he finds out from me rather than the grapevine."

Her rosy flush paling slightly, Kagome nodded. "Yeah... what do you think he'll do?"

He shrugged. "Dunno. Don't really care. As long as she never comes near either of us ever again."

Something occurred to Kagome, then, and she grinned mischievously, flicking a quick glance at her hanyou. "Ya know... since you don't want to talk about what Sesshoumaru's gonna do... why don't we talk about setting up a meeting between Suki and Miroku, here?"

Yasha blinked, then his own grin spread. "Yeah, that's a great idea. Give him someone else to grope." He frowned thoughtfully. "I wonder if she'll react the same in this life - you know, constantly clobbering him."

Kagome giggled again just as they reached the offices section of the mall and were ushered inside to Miroku's office. "Knowing Suki... probably. She's just as tough this time around as the last - even if she doesn't have hiraikotsu."

Both Yasha and Kagome were interested to note Miroku's sudden frown and shiver when he heard that word. "Is something the matter, Watanabe-san?" Yasha asked slyly.

His brow furrowed, the once monk shook his head slowly. "I... don't know. That word you just used... hi-hiraikotsu? For some reason, it sent a sharp pain through my head when I heard it, though I don't think I've ever heard of it before. What is it?"

With a grin, Kagome explained. "Ah, Watanabe-san, hiraikotsu was a bone boomarang, essentially. It was used by an ancient clan of taijiya as a weapon against youkai, and was supposedly composed of youkai bones."

Miroku shivered visibly again at the mention of that name, and his frown deepened. "There - for some reason, it hurts my head when you say that name... and I seem to feel as though someone were staring at my back with ill-will."

Yasha and Kagome glanced at each other, and then burst out laughing. It was really just too funny for words - somewhere in his hentai psyche, Miroku remembered hirakotsu... and the pain it had caused his thick skull in his last life, as well as the glares he'd received from an angry Sango.

"Perhaps someday, we'll tell you why," Yasha finally said, as the laughing calmed down. "We'll have to have dinner together one night and explain."

Miroku nodded and smiled. "That would be most agreeable, Taisho-san - as long as you refrain from actually naming it while you explain."

Everyone sobered, however, when the police officers were escorted into the room.

Business first, after all.

-cCc-

"_What_?"

The voice was cold and angry, and Yasha actually winced as he pulled the phone from his ear for a second, waiting to see if anything else was said, then replaced it and spoke again when nothing else was forthcoming.

"Kagome and I were at the mall - we went there after leaving the jewelers to pick out her engagement ring, and while we were eating lunch, that stupid wench Akina appeared and started heckling us. I started to lose it - my youkai blood wanted to kill her, and so Kagome knocked her out." He chuckled at that memory. "It was actually hilarious - Kagome didn't even look at her, just balled her fist and let fly."

Sesshoumaru wasn't amused. At any other time, to see such a thing, he would greatly enjoy - but to find that one that he'd punished, had ignored his orders and once again gone after Kagome had just gotten _his_ youkai involved. There was nothing else for it - the miko had asked that Akina not be killed, but her disrespect and violent nature could not be ignored.

There was only one solution.

He owned an island that was used in circumstances like these - an island that was basically nothing more than a prison. Akina and her family would be relocated there. It was primitive, and there was no way to escape - her fate was sealed, and she had brought it on herself.

"I think that it is time for her and her family to visit the island." He said no more; there was no need to. Every person in the Taisho family knew about the island.

Yasha was actually pleased with that solution - there would never be any worry about her attacking again if she and her family were sent there, yet Kagome's wishes would still be followed. He'd forgotten about the island...

"I think that sounds great, Uncle. I'll let Kagome know what you said. Oh, Kagome wants to know if you're still taking her mother out this evening - if you are, she said she'll make dinner for her brother and grandfather."

"I am. However, Aiko has stated that her father-in-law and Souta are also going to dinner themselves, and then a movie afterwards. You are both free to continue your day together into the evening."

With a wide grin breaking out over his face, Yasha chortled. "Gee, thanks, Uncle. That sounded like you were giving me permission to enjoy my fiance in certain, shall we say, carnal ways?"

Sesshoumaru could hear a loud 'smack' come over the phone, along with a yelled "Hentai!" and a sharp yip. He barely held back the chuckle. "It is not my permission you need, whelp, but that of your fiance. At this rate, it does not look like you will be getting it." His voice sobered, then, and he finished, "Do not concern yourselves with that bitch any further - she and her useless family will be dealt with. Go, and enjoy the rest of your day."

With that, he disconnected, and Yasha pocketed his phone, grinning sheepishly at his woman, who was eyeing him with 'threat' written all over her face. "Hmph! Not five minutes after being around Miroku again, and you're turning into as much of a hentai as he always has been!"

Yasha grinned wider, and moved over to her, cornering her against the wall. "Aww, but babe... it has nothing to do with Miroku - _you_ make me this way," he whispered in her ear. "Don't you _like_ knowing that you can turn me on so much?"

Kagome sighed, eyeing him as she tried to keep from melting all over him. He was right... his touch was electric. Since the accident, they really hadn't been able to do much, though they had made out rather frequently lately, she knew it was only a matter of time before they decided to finish what they started.

Both of them were adults, and they were engaged. They were also soul mates - destined by the fates to be together, so she had no fears of being abandoned. And it was getting very difficult to keep from just jumping his bones and taking what she wanted.

Giving him a rather wicked little smile, she reached one hand down and gently passed it over a certain spot on his body, and immediately, that spot began to harden. He groaned and she giggled.

"Actually, I do, Yasha, and if you're a _very_ good boy... maybe tonight, since we're going to be alone most of the evening... we can take things _quite_ a bit further than we have so far."

He groaned again even as his erection pulsed, and dropped his head onto her shoulder, trying with all his might to think of something disgusting and/or distracting to calm his blood before Miroku walked back into his office. Stepping away from her with a growl, he sent her a heated look and inhaled deeply to calm his raging blood.

"Woman," he said gruffly, "you're playing with fire. You just wait 'til I get you home."

Before Kagome could answer, Miroku stepped back into the room, and looked at them with raised brows. He proved that he did have some sense of self-preservation when he didn't say a word about his suspicions, instead asking, "So... this invitation to dinner sometime - was that a serious offer?"

"Of course, Watanabe-san," Kagome said cheerfully. "Anytime that's good for you." She took a slip of paper from her purse and wrote down the shrine's number, then handed him the paper. "Just give us a call and let us know good dates for you, and we'll figure something out. And we'll even bring a date for you," she chuckled. "She's a lovely woman... I just know you'll hit it off."

Never one to turn down the chance to meet a beautiful woman, (who also wasn't taken already), the hentai nodded, a smile breaking over his face. "I'll do that, then, Higurashi-san-" he bowed towards her, then Yasha, "-Taisho-san. As for today's matter, was there anything else you needed from me?"

Yasha shook his head and once more grabbed Kagome's hand, escorting her out of the office and back towards the main part of the mall, followed by Miroku. "Nope, think we're good. See ya soon, pervert." With a wave of his hand, Yasha dragged Kagome off into the crowds, leaving a rather bemused Miroku standing behind watching as they disappeared.

"Well, that's everybody," she sighed, a rather sad, reflective smile on her face. "Shippo, Kirara, Miroku, and Sango. I guess it's time for me to lay the past to rest. It still hurts that I never even got to say goodbye to them the last time... but now I'm getting to say hello - and now I don't have to worry about Naraku or the time difference."

Yasha flashed a golden glance her way, a feeling of guilt slithering through him at the expression on her face. Even though he himself hadn't been the one to separate her from her friends in the past, still... it had been his soul that had, and he hated that any part of him had caused her hurt.

"I'm sorry about what he did, Kagome. I know... that's been the hardest part for you to deal with - sometimes I get so angry at the kami for what they've required from you. It was too much."

He was understandably shocked when Kagome rounded on him, coming to a dead halt in the middle of the mall.

"Don't you ever say anything like that again, Yasha! I'm not upset at all, anymore - the kami asked a lot from me, but then they gave me the only thing that could ever matter to me as the prize for doing my duty -_ you," _she breathed fervently. "I would never regret anything that brought me you!"

The hanyou froze, eyes wide, he stared at her, almost desperately searching her gaze, hoping to find the truth there... and he did. Her scent, her eyes, her very expression screamed of her veracity, and he felt something inside himself loosen - something he'd not even known was so tensed until it let go.

Completely ignoring the crowds around them, he reached over and cupped her chin in his hands, and kissed her, softly, sweetly - a benediction, chaste and sweet, speaking not of desire and passion, but only of love and devotion.

It was a kiss that needed to happen, one that had been in the works for five hundred years - a kiss of healing... a kiss showing that finally, _finally_, everything was right.

Everything was just as it should be.

-cCc-

Aiko met Sesshoumaru at the door, a sweet smile on her face.

"Just let me get my purse, and I'll be ready to go," she said.

When the handsome daiyoukai had stopped by that day a week ago, she had wondered what he could need - in fact, her first thought was worry - had something happened?

True, she had spent a lot of time after Kagome's accident in his company, and had found herself, for the first time since her husband had died, attracted to a male, but... why would he want anything to do with her - an aging human woman? Sure, she looked damn good for her age, at thirty-nine, she looked more like twenty-nine, but... that was by human standards.

She'd seen far too much of his daughter not to know that his first wife had been absolutely beautiful, and there was no way that she could even attempt to compete. So she'd pushed her attraction to the back of her mind, and left it there. After all, any female who'd ever seen the male had been attracted, she was sure - why should she be any different?

So she had been completely blindsided when the sinfully delicious male had asked her out - for about three seconds. And then she had figured that he must need to discuss something with her, and had decided to do it over dinner. When she had agreed, but asked what they would be discussing, he had given her a funny look, and given her an answer that had knocked her straight off her feet.

He was asking her on a date - because he wanted to court her.

It had taken her almost three days to get over her shock - then she'd been as giddy as a teenager excited over her first date. And then to find out that he'd actually gone to her daughter, and asked her how she felt about him courting her mother... he'd wanted her blessing!

Kagome had sat her down, then, and told her all about Sesshoumaru - his past as a vicious feudal warlord, who'd shown unmistakable promise of greatness when he'd brought back a tiny human orphan from death - and then proceeded to care for her like a father for the rest of her life. She let her know that she deserved the best, and that Sesshoumaru could certainly qualify as that... and that when the great dai made up his mind about something, he wasn't playing for anything except keeps.

That statement had left her heart fluttering... and then Kagome had taken it one step further and said that she was sure that as long as she, Aiko, decided that she wanted him, she would eventually end up being the new Western Lady.

Aiko had nearly swooned... and was still feeling decidedly giddy - especially as that impossibly gorgeous male was now watching her with an enigmatic half-smile as he waited for her to get her purse.

That was when she realized she'd been staring, and with a blush, she murmured an apology and turned to his slight chuckle to pick it up from the side table.

_Oh, _she moaned quietly to herself, _this is going to be a looong night. _

_Get ahold of yourself, Aiko Higurashi!_

Her blush deepened at the amused light in his golden eyes, and she just knew he knew exactly what was going on in her mind.

-cCc-

A/N: And one step closer to the end! There's probably only another two, maybe three chapters left, and this ride will be over.

Hope this chapter meets with everyone's approval!

Amber


	36. Getting the Gang Back Together

**Chapter 35: Getting the Gang Back Together**

"Hurry up, Yasha!" Kagome yelled up the stairs, beginning to get impatient with his primping.

They were already running behind for the dinner with Miroku and Suki, and Kagome couldn't wait for those two to meet. She had the idea that Miroku might get a huge reminder of just what hiraikotsu had felt like embedded in his head, though Suki no longer had it, she did have a formidably heavy fist.

With a giggle, she ignored Yasha's grouchy reply, and sighed, rolling her eyes wondering if they should have had this first meeting between the hentai and Suki somewhere less public than a restaurant. If she did hit him, they could end up being kicked out.

"Oi!" Heavy feet stomping down the stairs pulled her from her thoughts. "Move it, woman! You were just griping, and now you're staring at the wall with a creepy smile."

She turned a glare on him, then laughed at his chagrined expression. "Remembering a certain kotodama, Yasha?" she asked archly, grinning as he scowled.

"No," he said belligerently. "Those collars are for assholes, and _I_ ain't one, remember? We agreed on that a long time ago."

She chuckled and shook her head, "Come on, Yasha, let's get going. We're already behind thanks to all your girly primping."

He growled sourly at her, though it was mostly for show; he never could stay angry at her for very long, and he really wasn't even angry right this minute, more just annoyed. The day had been irritating - they had spent it registering for the upcoming semester at Tokyo U, and after all the waiting around to speak to a counselor, then all the paperwork, then the picking of classes and finally, touring the campus, all he'd wanted to do was come back to the shrine and relax.

Unfortunately, they had that dinner date with the hentai and his soon-to-be lady, (again), and Kagome, miss energy herself, wouldn't even countenance canceling the date and rescheduling.

"Well, since you won't allow us to cancel and do this a different day, just where are we meeting the hentai and Suki, anyway?" he sighed.

Kagome stared at the door as she slipped her shoes on. "At the restaurant. Why?"

He froze. "Well, shit - that was a bad idea, Kagome, you know Miroku's gonna grope her, and then she's gonna kill him, and we'll get kicked out, and then I won't get to eat anything," he said sarcastically.

She giggled. "I was just thinking the same thing a minute ago, but it's too late now. All we can hope for is a miracle."

Rolling his eyes, he huffed out, "Yah, right, K'gome. This is just great. And I bet, if Miroku actually _doesn't _do it right off the bat, Shippo'll egg it on. You know, kitsune, prankster, _troublemaker_? Who's bright idea was it to invite Shippo the first time, anyway?"

She blushed, and looked away as she grabbed her purse and slid the entryway door open. "Hey... I just wanted to get the gang back together, Yasha," her eyes saddened for a moment, "in the only way left to me. It's not like I'll ever have Miroku and Sango back, you know."

Yasha frowned and reached out for her hand, angry at Inuyasha all over again. "Hey," he said softly as she looked up at him enquiringly. "It's okay, Kagome. Whatever makes you happy. If we get kicked out of the place, we'll just go find somewhere else is all, right?"

She sent him a small smile, and nodded, then tugged on his hand. "Sure, Yasha... come on, let's go, or we'll never know if he gropes her or not, because we'll miss it."

He nodded, and returned her smile, squeezing her hand comfortingly.

_Anything you want, Kagome... anything at all. I don't really care about anything else that happens in our lives, as long as you're in it, and happy._

_That's all._

-cCc-

"Suki!"

The young woman so addressed turned, then smiled as she caught sight of her newest friend, Kagome, followed by her fiance, Yasha, waving at her as they hurried along the sidewalk.

She smiled happily. "Hey, Kagome! You look pretty good - still doing those exercises I gave you?"

Kagome looked away guiltily, and Yasha snorted. "She wouldn't be if I didn't make her, that's for sure," he said, and Kagome cast him a dirty look.

"Traitor," she hissed, and Suki laughed.

"I'm not surprised, Yasha. Most people don't like to do those exercises any longer than they have to, even though they're good for them." She motioned to the doors to the restaurant. "Are we ready to go in?" she asked.

Kagome looked around, then, not seeing Miroku, nodded. "Sure... Watanabe-san will find us inside. I'm ready to sit down - today has been a _long_ day," she sighed.

It was Yasha's turn to shoot his girl a dirty look. "Keh! Says the energizer bunny wanna-be. You've had us running all over today - and your just _now _tired?"

Suki giggled at that. "Geeze, Yasha - been watching american television, have you?"

He looked sheepish. "Yeah, well, sometimes they actually have some good things on, though it ain't often," he said as he held the door open for the women.

"I bet he's just surfing the channels looking for dirty movies," Kagome said to Suki in an exaggerated whisper she was fully aware that Yasha would hear.

"Oi!" he growled at her, scowling. "I ain't lookin' at no women but you!"

Kagome blushed, and Suki laughed again. "Oh, I love to hang out with you two. I always laugh more then than at any other time." She sighed, her gaze going far away as Kagome watched her with an almost sad smile. "I don't know... I hope you guys don't think me strange, but I feel like I've always known you."

Yasha and Kagome exchanged glances, then looked at Suki. "Yeah... about that. There's something we-" he glanced meaningfully at Kagome, then back to Suki, "-want to talk to you and Watanabe-san after dinner about. It kinda ties into what you just said."

Suki frowned a little, curious, but then nodded. "Okay, that's cool." She looked around, then. "So where's this Watanabe-san you keep talking about, anyway?" she asked.

Just as Kagome was about to answer, a suave voice came from behind, and the trio turned to see Miroku standing behind them, smiling. "Ah, Taisho-san, Higurashi-san," he said, bowing politely. Then he turned to look at a rather dumbstruck Suki, and his face went blank for several moments as he stared at her, almost seeming to be in shock.

And then...

Kagome blinked - she'd never seen someone other than a youkai or hanyou move so fast, and Miroku had a startled Suki's hand in his. "My lady," he breathed. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen!"

Yasha and Kagome almost fell over at what happened next - neither of them had _ever_ considered something like _this_ happening.

Suki reached behind the man standing in front of her holding onto her hand, and _groped him. _

Miroku grinned, awed, hearts filling his eyes, as the maitre'd moved towards the group and asked them to leave, citing the disturbance to the rest of the establishment as cause. An incredulous Kagome and Yasha turned and walked out silently, followed by Suki and Miroku, who only had eyes for each other, not paying any attention to the shocked looks of all the nearby patrons.

Yasha turned his head and blinked down at his woman. "Keh," he said blankly, "we were wrong about Miroku groping Suki and getting pounded, but right about being kicked out of the restaurant." He shook his head. "Guess Sango's a little different in this life, after all."

Kagome couldn't do anything but nod as they both stopped and turned to look at the other couple, who were still staring at each other. "Uh, hey, guys?" Kagome broke in cautiously. When the two finally turned their heads to stare at her, she asked, "What do we want to do now?"

Suki grinned cheekily, and said, "Come on, I have an idea. Since it's such a beautiful evening, why don't we get some take out, and go sit in the park?"

The rest of the group simply followed along behind the cheerfully determined woman, one quite happily, and the other two rather freaked out.

The night would only be getting longer from there.

-cCc-

Miroku and Suki both stared at Yasha, who was without his concealment spell, for several long moments, leaving a cricket-filled silence echoing rather loudly.

"So... Suki and I-" Miroku moved a finger back and forth between himself and the beautiful woman, "-were once married, I was a monk, she was a taijiya, and, along with your pre-incarnation, Yasha, and Kagome herself, all lived this huge adventure in sengoku jidai?"

Yasha nodded, and Miroku scratched his head, looking thoughtful. "And that thing you kept naming when we met? The one that caused my head to hurt?"

Giggles from Kagome and laughter from Yasha erupted in their circle, and then Kagome spoke up. "Well, hiraikotsu-" she rolled her eyes when the hentai flinched and rubbed his head, "-was Sango's weapon, and when you would get out of hand and start groping people, especially her, she'd knock you over the head with it. It left a huge impression on you, I guess, for you to remember it evenin_ another_ life."

"Keh," Yasha snorted. "I'm not so surprised that the pervert remembers that, Kagome. Did you ever get hit by that thing?" She shook her head. "Well, it hurt like hell," he said, matter-of-factly.

Brow furrowed, she put her finger to her chin thoughtfully. "When did Inuyasha get hit by hiraikotsu?" she asked.

Yasha flushed, his eyes flicking guiltily towards her, then over to Suki, before Miroku caught the look, and began to laugh. "Inuyasha got caught peeping at Kagome by Sango, didn't he?" he asked, gasping for breath as Yasha flushed even more at Kagome's shocked look.

"You mean, that jerk was peeping on me, and you remember it?" she squeaked, almost outraged.

Yasha growled at that - it had just occurred to him that since he remembered seeing Kagome naked in his last life, Inuyasha had indeed been peeping - and had seen Kagome naked. Suddenly, he was rather pissed.

"Feh! Bastard... he shouldn't have been looking at _my _girl," he groused. "What sucks about this is that I can't beat the shit out of him for it."

Kagome, although peeved at Inuyasha for the peeping, had to laugh at her fiance's outraged muttering at the fact that he couldn't beat his previous incarnation up for it.

Then something occurred to her, and she frowned. "Hey... Yasha?" she asked slowly. "If you remember him peeping on me... does that mean that you remember seeing _Kikyou_ naked, too? And maybe... other things?"

Yasha's face went first red, then white, then green, and his expression turned sick. "Eww! No way!" he gasped out, gagging. "Why the hell would I want to have memories like _that_?" A thankful expression crossed his disgusted face. "In fact, I think I need to thank kami for small mercies. If I _was_ stuck with memories like that, I'd be trying to scrub my brain out with soap," he said sourly, as Miroku and Suki laughed, and Kagome beamed, looking relieved.

"Oh, that's good, then!" she chirped cheerfully, and turned to Suki and Miroku. "So... do you remember anything of what we've told you?"

Suki and Miroku both looked a bit troubled, and shook their heads. But...

"I don't know about Miroku, here," Suki shrugged, "but though I don't remember what you've said, it feels... right. Some part of me _recognizes_ what we've heard. I believe you, if that's anything," she said, and smiled lightly when Miroku nodded.

"Hai - what Suki said... me, too."

Kagome clapped her hands together with a bright smile. "Good! I'm glad that you guys don't think us weird," she chuckled as Yasha put up his concealment spell again, "and that you aren't freaked out by what we've told you tonight. I was a bit concerned about that, to tell the truth."

A new voice broke in, then. "Nice, Kagome. You were worried about them freaking out about what you had to say, but then you go and forget about the two most important members of the group," Shippo said, false hurt and laughter in his voice as she whipped around with wide, horrified eyes.

"Oh, my god, Shippo, Kirara, I'm so sorry - after what happened earlier at the restaurant, I just forgot everything else..." she trailed off, blushing.

Yasha leaned back on one arm, stretching idly. "Hey, it's your own fault, Shippo, since you were running so late." He looked over at Kagome. "And you were worried _we'd_ be late."

Miroku and Suki stared wide-eyed at the friendly banter currently going on - until Suki caught sight of Kirara. It was clear that seeing the small kitten had triggered something inside her, because she whispered, "Kirara?" in a tentative voice that contained faded memories and a sense of loss.

Everyone got quiet, then, and watched the reunion between the two with sharp eyes.

Kirara tilted her head to the side and blinked red eyes at the reincarnation of her former mistress, and best friend. She could see Sango shining brightly inside, and knew that at some point, she would definitely awaken to her past life. For that reason, she mewed sweetly, and hopped down from Shippo's shoulder, walking up to the still sitting young woman, crawled right into her lap. Curling up with a wide yawn, she closed her eyes and dozed off peacefully, happy to be with her.

Miroku blinked, then looked sideways at the startled woman. "Uh... that cat has red eyes and two tails. Let me guess - another youkai?"

Shippo sauntered over to them and dropped down to sit next to a fascinated Kagome. "Yup."

"And you are...?" he asked.

Shippo grinned, and dropped his own concealment spell. "Kitsune - I was the kid of the group back then, an orphan when Kagome and Inuyasha came across me, and she took me in." He glanced at the former monk, surprised at how much he looked like his past self. "It's amazing how you look so exactly like that perverted monk. I bet you're a lecher, too, aren't ya?"

Miroku looked offended at that. "I'll have you know that it was not I that got us thrown out of that fine establishment, it was the beautiful lady Suki," he said, very much on his dignity. "She groped my person, without any encouragement on my part."

Shippo blinked, then turned to stare at Suki, who blushed, but laughed under her breath. Then he turned to look at Kagome. "Well, I understand now why you forgot about Kirara and I. I woulda, too. I guess Sango was married to Miroku for too many years, and his bad habits rubbed off on her. That's too bad, really," he finished, rubbing a hand over his chin.

Suki sulked, and Miroku sputtered, while the rest laughed, and Kirara mewed. "It's certainly different, having her be the hentai this time around," Yasha snorted.

Kagome shook her head. "Well, it's not just her, since Miroku is also a lecher this time, too. Any relationship between those two ought to be quite interesting," she laughed.

"Hey! Who said there'd be any relationship between us?" Suki asked hotly.

Everyone stared at her knowingly.

"Oh, you mean you greet _all_ guys that way?" Kagome asked sarcastically.

Suki flushed, and flicked a glance at Miroku, who looked quite interested in her answer. "W-well, no, but..."

Yasha let his head fall back a bit as he stared up into the darkening sky, idly listening to the banter and simply enjoying the peace and happiness he felt with his love by his side, and their friends, as well. It wouldn't take long, he could already tell, for the group to be as close as they had been back then...

Only this time around, it would be better - they were back together... and Kagome wouldn't be lost to them this time. No...

She'd finally be happy, as would the rest of them, because, unlike last time, the most important member of the gang wouldn't be missing, gone from their lives because of fate, or Inuyasha.

He glanced over at her with a soft look in his golden eyes, and smiled.

_As long as you're happy, Kagome, I am, too. No matter what._

-cCc-

A/N: And that's pretty much it, guys! There will be an epilogue, hopefully coming soon, and then I can finally label this one completed, and move on to finishing some of my other endeavors... and maybe start a few more, who knows, gods know I have so many plots running around in my head it isn't even funny.

Anyway, sorry it took so long to get this out - I've been fighting serious writer's block, and struggling with all my stories. I can't even tell you how many dang one-shots I've got sitting in my 'various' folder, incomplete - and it isn't like me to have unfinished _one-shots. _

Ja Ne...

Amber


	37. Epilogue: The Fate You Were Meant For

**Epilogue: The Fate You Were Meant For**

"I can't believe those two!" Kagome cried, totally exasperated as she sat at the head table at Suki and Miroku's reception. "They couldn't even wait for their own wedding night - they had to go find a coat closet before the ceremony to get it on!"

It was five years after the group all got back together, and Suki and Miroku had just gotten married - finally. The last of the weddings that had been in the works, they had procrastinated the longest, frustrating their friends to no end.

And then, they'd almost missed their own wedding, the priest, having gotten annoyed at being held up by both a missing bride _and_ groom, had threatened to leave, not five minutes before the errant couple had finally been located.

It was the talk of the wedding and reception, both, about the rather mussed appearance of said couple - everyone knew what they'd been up to, and the priest's sour expression on seeing the two had been priceless.

As were there wedding photos.

The photographer absolutely loved the proceeds from that wedding - almost every guest ordered a set to remember the day by, and none of Suki and Miroku's friends ever let them forget it... even going so far in later years as to tell their children about it. Once they were grown, of course.

"Keh. We were right - Sango _was_ married to Miroku for too many years, and his lechery wore of on her. Miroku's really gonna appreciate that this time around," he leered, and Kagome smacked him before settling her hand on her slightly rounded abdomen, her own wedding ring flashing in the lights from the dance floor.

"Oh, don't act like you don't enjoy a bit of constructive lechery yourself, Yasha - or I wouldn't be in this condition," she scolded, flushing slightly at her mother's laugh. She glanced over at her, smiling at her mother's high color and happy eyes.

She had had such a sparkle to her from the moment that Sesshoumaru had started courting her, and they were the first to end up getting married, _and_ mated. Kagome was ecstatic - with her mother mated to Sesshoumaru, her life was as extended as Kagome's own, and she would never have to face losing her mother.

That had actually been a sticking point for a while with her mother - the thought of outliving her son. She knew that Kagome's own life would be extended with Yasha as a mate, but Sota... well, things were different for him, and she wasn't sure she could handle watching her own son grow old and die. But with the way the younger male had taken to youkai females, it wasn't likely she would have to worry about it - it didn't look like the boy would be marrying a plain human girl.

Sesshoumaru himself was more content than he could ever remember being, and after centuries of loneliness and always doing his duty, he was more than ready for some happiness of his own. Aiko gave him that, and he would treasure her forever for it.

Not that he'd forgotten Kagome, for all that he had finally let his feelings for her settle into those of friendship and family. Still, he watched his nephew carefully to make sure the boy didn't screw up, and he was pleased to see that he was just as devoted to her now, as he'd been from the moment he'd realized he loved her... so many years before he'd been able to formally meet her. He never even noticed another woman, and even though many threw themselves at him, he showed no interest whatsoever in anyone but Kagome.

When they had finally graduated college together, they had taken on their first jobs - and then began planning their wedding. By that time, he and Aiko had been married for a little over a year, and Yasha and Kagome's wedding had been the biggest society event since their own wedding, even though it was much smaller, and more private, with only family and close friends attending.

Surprisingly enough, Kagome had not wanted to have the wedding at her home shrine, nor anywhere that had any significance to her time with Inuyasha. She didn't want her past to have any bearing on her future. Instead, she chose to have a more westernized wedding, that was held at a completely secular location.

Yasha didn't argue, as he really didn't care - the only thing he cared about was the papers showing they were wed. And the mating mark showing they were mated. As long as she was his, he didn't care how they got there.

Sesshoumaru was brought back from his mental meanderings at the sound of Kagome's voice.

"... do you believe it? Only an hour into their reception, the two of them are already gone! I swear - those two are worse than rabbits!"

Yasha laughed. "Feh. At this rate, they're gonna have more kids than they did in their last lives!"

Kagome looked intrigued. "Just how many did they have, anyway?" she asked. Then she shuddered. "No. You know what? Don't answer that - I don't even want to know."

"Dear, leave them be," her mother's admonishing voice chimed in. "As if you and Yasha aren't just as bad. I'll never forget where we found _you_ two at your reception," she finished teasingly, and everyone at the table burst into laughter, save Sota, who paled.

"Yeah, and I had to be the unlucky one to find you!" he burst out. "I've been scarred for life!" he sighed dramatically, pointing and laughing at the red face of his sister as she sunk down in her chair. Yasha just looked cocky as he patted his wife's baby belly.

"You and Shippo should just look at the memory as a learning experience," he said, flinching as his wife knocked him over the head again, though a great deal harder than the first time.

"Yasha! I can't believe you! Shippo _still _blushes when he sees us! That was totally embarrassing. I still can't believe I let you talk me into that quickie that turned into a not so quickie," she muttered in an aside, though Sesshoumaru heard it, and smirked as she blushed when he met her gaze with an amused one of his own.

"It is astonishing that you have not been pupped before now, Kagome," he said with a raised brow. "As... _enthusiastically _as you two have been practicing, I would have expected you to be working on your second, or possibly third, by now."

"Hey! This was all about bashing Suki and Miroku - how did it get onto me and Yasha?" Kagome pouted, and everyone laughed again.

"What's good for the goose, dear," Aiko chuckled, and Kagome sighed.

"Fine, fine, so it's pick on the pregnant lady day. What a life," she said mockingly.

Yasha cocked a brow at her. "Complaining, Kagome?" he asked, and she could see something in his gaze at that question. It made her answer seriously, dropping the teasing of the last few minutes.

"No," she said slowly, "I'm not. I'm right where the fates meant me to be... and I'm happy about that. There's no where else I'd rather be."

All her family and friends around the table nodded, agreeing.

Fate had been good to _all _of them.

Even the absent bride and groom.

-cCc-

A/N: And done! Short, sweet, and to the point, this epilogue was simply meant to wrap up the last few details that the last chapter left open. Now I can file this story under completed, and start trying to finish some of my others.

I hope everyone enjoyed the ride, and remembers this story fondly. Thanks to all the reviewers, and those that nominated and/or voted for this story under the Best Original Character at the IYFG this last year.

Ja Ne!

Amber


End file.
